New Life; DAY 1

[Wt57]

Welcome. The posters below have made some good points.

Man, I'm no professional, but it seems to me that you and your wife may have some other issues besides just the dip. I mean that sincerely, and I hope it doesn't come across as me being a jerk. I know a lot of guys who dipped for a long time while there wives absolutely despised the addiction. I was in that group. She hated it. She knew what it did. But would she leave me (or even threaten to do so) because of it? Not sure why, but hell no. Same goes for all of the other guys I knew.

I point out that observation for a few reasons. Quitting prompted me to change a whole bunch of things in my life. All for the better. I reevaluated a bunch of relationships and personal attitudes toward things. I hope that you can do the same thing.

If you are quitting because your wife is forcing you to, then your relationship with her is in jeopardy. Same goes for your children. You are going to have some tough mental battles during the next few months, and the addiction will lash out. Decide right now that you are quitting for YOU, because your life and health depend on it. Our families didn't make us addicts, so they shouldn't be the target of any rage that may happen. Bring it here. We can handle it.

Shoot me a PM if I can help you any way. Glad you're here.

Welcome aboard Alan. My wife hated my dipping, my sneaking and my lying to her for 33 years. I made the promises and really did want to be a better husband and father but I'm an addict and pure will power wasn't enough. The brotherhood and accountability will help you as it has me. Another comment is that trust has got to be earned and it takes time. Just 2 days ago my wife questioned me if I bought anything besides gas and a drink. That's after 554 days, at first I was offended but then I realized I haven't earned that trust yet.

[Radman]

Welcome. The posters below have made some good points.

Man, I'm no professional, but it seems to me that you and your wife may have some other issues besides just the dip. I mean that sincerely, and I hope it doesn't come across as me being a jerk. I know a lot of guys who dipped for a long time while there wives absolutely despised the addiction. I was in that group. She hated it. She knew what it did. But would she leave me (or even threaten to do so) because of it? Not sure why, but hell no. Same goes for all of the other guys I knew.

I point out that observation for a few reasons. Quitting prompted me to change a whole bunch of things in my life. All for the better. I reevaluated a bunch of relationships and personal attitudes toward things. I hope that you can do the same thing.

If you are quitting because your wife is forcing you to, then your relationship with her is in jeopardy. Same goes for your children. You are going to have some tough mental battles during the next few months, and the addiction will lash out. Decide right now that you are quitting for YOU, because your life and health depend on it. Our families didn't make us addicts, so they shouldn't be the target of any rage that may happen. Bring it here. We can handle it.

Shoot me a PM if I can help you any way. Glad you're here.

[Roamcountry]

Well, first off Id like to say Im Alan. Like everyone else I dip. I have used for 8 years with spurts of off and on but more on than off. I stumbled onto this page a couple of months ago after "the late night fight" with my wife. I promised her I'd quite and change my habits but my dip has got a strong hold on me. Tonight after coming home from work I found 4 empty cans sitting on the counter and BOOM I knew I had really messed up. 3 months ago she left me because of ling about using. Now it is all on me. I have tossed all can, used or full into the trash. I even went to the extreme of opening all full cans and pouring them down the garbage disposal. I know now that I need help from people that have been there and I need that help now more that ever.

Welcome alan, like you, most of us have lied countless times to our wives. "Oh ya! I quit honey!" Just to sneak off and steal a dip and ultimately time awsu from them. Drink plenty of water and spend your time time reading here on the site. You will soon develope tools and contacts to help with the struggle. Its not easy. We dont promise that. But it will get better, that we do promise. Post your daily roll call as your promise to us not to use nicotine in any shape or form. Be a man and honor that word all day. Then, repeat the next day. If you are struggling, reach out!! Post in your group. Jump into chat. Get connected and build and honorable reputation here.

[Punkin]

Nice to meet you Punkin. It sucks I have been down this road 3 or 4 times and have never gotten the backing that I needed but Im starting to think I can do it this time.

Every person in this place has your back brother. By this time tomorrow, you will have talked to so many complete strangers who are walking the same shitty road as you are, that it will make your head spin. You can do it, just do it one day at a time. Reach out for help too. There's no shame in it.

[Alan]

Nice to meet you Punkin. It sucks I have been down this road 3 or 4 times and have never gotten the backing that I needed but Im starting to think I can do it this time.

[Punkin]

Welcome Alan. I'm glad you're here. You will be in the January 2014 Nic killers. I'm in your group. I'll quit with you everyday, bro. Do this for you and nobody else. Everything else will fall into place. Accountability and trust is everything and trust is a hard thing to earn back once lost. Check your inbox

[Alan]

Thanks Mike. Im letting her cool off a bit. She will hear me say that I joined a group and call BS on me. I have to do a little proving before I bring her on board. In the past I have tried to quit for other people and it doesn't work. This time its for me. I have a little girl that 4 and a little boy that's 2 that look up to me and I need them in my life. I want to be there with a full face to walk my daughter down the aisle one day. That's why I'm done with dip.

[Mike from AB]

Welcome Alan. I'm sure the veterans will be along shortly with better advice than I have. The first thing I can say though is find a reason you want to do this for yourself. Just doing it for somebody else often isn't enough. No matter how much they might want it for you, you have to want it for yourself. Check out the welcome center link above in red,  read the KillTheCan.org blog. There's lots of good info, and info you should be sharing with your wife too to make her involved  invested in your quit. You can't lie to her,  she can't hold it against you if you're to be successful.

[Alan]

Well, first off Id like to say Im Alan. Like everyone else I dip. I have used for 8 years with spurts of off and on but more on than off. I stumbled onto this page a couple of months ago after "the late night fight" with my wife. I promised her I'd quite and change my habits but my dip has got a strong hold on me. Tonight after coming home from work I found 4 empty cans sitting on the counter and BOOM I knew I had really messed up. 3 months ago she left me because of ling about using. Now it is all on me. I have tossed all can, used or full into the trash. I even went to the extreme of opening all full cans and pouring them down the garbage disposal. I know now that I need help from people that have been there and I need that help now more that ever.