Long time lurker- quitting today

[PMILS]

Day 9.

Grandpa died out of nowhere today.
It's nice knowing nicotine won't help a thing.
That's all for now.

as in chat, condolences to you and your family. May the angels be watching over you in this time of mourning.

My condolences to you and yours during these hard times.

Prayers to your family, brother

[pab1964]

Day 9.

Grandpa died out of nowhere today.
It's nice knowing nicotine won't help a thing.
That's all for now.

as in chat, condolences to you and your family. May the angels be watching over you in this time of mourning.

My condolences to you and yours during these hard times.

[Bokie]

Sorry for your lost PBR!

I quit with you today!

[SirDerek]

Day 9.

Grandpa died out of nowhere today.
It's nice knowing nicotine won't help a thing.
That's all for now.

as in chat, condolences to you and your family. May the angels be watching over you in this time of mourning.

[pbr]

Day 9.

Grandpa died out of nowhere today.
It's nice knowing nicotine won't help a thing.
That's all for now.

[pbr]

Day 8-
Decided I'd stay awhile so I chose an avatar.
Quit game is strong.

Glad you can stay, it's your life you are saving!

This no game brother. Most games I enjoy playing but if this were a game right now, this second I'm winning. But the way I look at it, it kicked my ass 38 long years. Dig in with both feet, grasp the coattail of a badass quitter and learn all the tools here at ktc, you can never have to many. I quit with you today! My number is a pm away

Nope. You're right. This isn't a game.
It's certainly a fight though. 'Remshot'

[pab1964]

Day 8-
Decided I'd stay awhile so I chose an avatar.
Quit game is strong.

Glad you can stay, it's your life you are saving!

This no game brother. Most games I enjoy playing but if this were a game right now, this second I'm winning. But the way I look at it, it kicked my ass 38 long years. Dig in with both feet, grasp the coattail of a badass quitter and learn all the tools here at ktc, you can never have to many. I quit with you today! My number is a pm away

[Thumblewort]

Day 8-
Decided I'd stay awhile so I chose an avatar.
Quit game is strong.

Glad you can stay, it's your life you are saving!

[pbr]

Day 8-
Decided I'd stay awhile so I chose an avatar.
Quit game is strong.

[pbr]

Day 7.

Holy Smokes, I'm a week in already. This whole one day at a time thing adds up quickly.
Things are much easier now than what they were days 1-4. The craves are still frequent. The fog is there, but not as intense and not as often. My body is slowly acclimating to its new normal. I really couldn't be happier about my decision to quit. I have way too many family members who have battled, or are currently battling cancer. I'm already at risk: why in the world would I further compound that risk? Why would I spend money on something that only speeds up my date with death?

Addicts brains do funny things.
It's ok for me to ____ because ______.
Last I checked it's not alright to be enslaved to anything.

I guess I have to be honest with myself though. The biggest part of nicotine's addictive power is that it feels good. This is often the reason we get addicted to anything at all. Porn. Alcohol. Social Media. This hobby. That hobby. I'd argue that the brain is made for pleasure honestly (that's a big theological discussion that I won't unravel today). That doesn't give one permission to simply seek and run after what feels best. Either way, nicotine feels dang good. I can't remember when I took my first dip honestly. I think I had tried it a few different times in early college and had decided it wasn't for me. I can however remember the first time I tried it and it stuck: Sitting on a bridge deck in 2011 with a jackhammer in my hand. Man that job was hell and I figured "anything that can take the edge off" would be worth it. It did indeed take the edge off. However, it wasn't worth becoming enslaved to something that my wife hates, that destroys my teeth and gums, empties my pocketbook of money I could be saving and threatens to kill me.

Do I personally hate dip? Yeah. I hate who it made me become.
Let's keep it that way.

More on all of this later.

[scottludwig]

As mentioned by others. Learn to hate the shit. If you see it, if you smell it, learn to be disgusted. I understand hate is an aggressive emotion that we often choose to keep out of our lives but believe me, it's necessary. Necessary now, necessary later. Read everything you can, weave your accountability web, and plan on being here each day for the rest of your addicted life. We chose to be addicted, now we choose to be a non-using addicts. I've gotten out of the fog, and even though it comes back, I don't think my initial suffering (what your going through now) would have kept me quit for the 59 days. You'll need more. There is a lot of strength in here.

[FLLipOut]

When you are taking an inventory on why you did this, do not leave off the list that nicotine is one of the most addictive substances known to man. In other words, be honest but also be kind to yourself.

And never put nicotine in your body ever again.

Proud to be quit with you today.

[pbr]

Thanks again for chiming in folks.

Day 3 so far has been a night and day difference compared to the first two. Granted, I'm still a bit light headed. I still have a bit of a headache. I still have some cravings (those probably won't ever go away, but I expect their frequency and severity to diminish). I'm getting a few bumps in the mouth. This isn't impossible though. It's only going to continue to get better. It's worth it to quit.

Mo Money. Mo Healthy. Mo betta breath. Mo life without secrets.

No more lying to myself. Lying to my wife. Hiding from the Lord. No more guilt. No more panic attacks when I run out of the stuff and can't get to the gas station. No more being ruled by this completely silly thing that's trying to kill me.

I still want to give myself some time before I start looking at the why I did it. That's going to be half the battle of staying quit- getting honest with myself before my family and before the Lord. That's going to me more painful than withdrawal. That's where healing will truly begin. For now, I'm just going to continue to focus on Chew gum, drink water, drink tea, talk to people, walk off the anxiety, repeat.

[FLLipOut]

PBR, welcome to KTC! I can add very little to the advice above and I see you are already familiar with what you are physically and mentally and emotionally going to have to battle in the days and weeks ahead. But you just gained more support than you could ever imagine yesterday when you decided to get off that fence.

Take it day by day, hour by hour or minute by minute, if necessary. You can do this.

PM me if you need anything.

[pbr]

Day 2.

I'll keep this short and sweet. Today is most certainly worse than yesterday. I expect tomorrow to be more of the same.
Pretty much just going through the motions with anything and everything until everything settles down. It's like I forgot that Nicotine is a drug and withdrawal is real.
Biggest agitators today are incredibly dry mouth and some pretty hardcore light headedness.

Note to self* this sucks. Lets not do nicotine again, alright? I don't want to have to withdrawal all over again.