Last night I took a row boat on the Passaic river by myself and spent time looking for cans of Kodiak floating in the water.....at least in my dreams. I also spent time in a room with a couple co-workers who were asking me if I was chewing while I had a dip in my upper gums, the way I used to chew at work. The embarrassment woke me up and I slept like crap the entire night because I kept having these little chew movies (or nightmares) playing in my brain. The night before I was fixated on roll call. The roll call list was constantly being highlighted in my dreams. Sleep sucked as well. These are the only nights I've dreamed of dip so far.
It's been real difficult getting through the everyday routines where the chew bitch partnered up with me. I've read so much on this website including some sentiment on how quitting chew is kind of like loosing a friend. Well, I was buying into this a couple days almost to the point of getting depressed and then I read this
My Chew, My Friend and reality set back in.
I've come to the reality that chew has fucked my brain into being a junkie. The little monkey in my brain is constantly wanting some type of fix. Chew was such an easy, accessible, quick fix in the past - especially for a week junkie like myself.
A HUGE positive about being quit going on 14 days, is my mouth feels like it's been re-born. No more white film covering my gums, the ripples on my gums and cheeks seem to be smoothing out, no more little black blood blisters on my cheeks, tongue feels good, and I'm not clearing my throat as much and hacking up, what appears at first to be mutilated pieces of stomach!!!
