« Reply #8 on: February 15, 2019, 10:51:05 AM »
For the past two months, I've been dipping an insane amount. I keep failing in my quit groups and I don't know what to do. I made a new email address and set up a new phone number. I registered a new username but I didn't go through with posting a day 1 with it. It would be a lie. I'm Letsgo14, a serial caver. Is there a support group for serial cavers? I believe there are three main factors that lead to my caves: 1. I stop posting everyday. 2. I stop putting in effort to support my quit group and new quitters. 3. Alcohol. These are all in my control but life is difficult and I fuck up and lose control. I'm 34 years old and sometimes I feel and act like I am 3.
For the past two months I've been trying to quit on my own but I've failed. It seems impossible.
This site and community have been so meaningful to me but I've thrown it all away. I've lost track of the number of quit groups I've been in since 2014. I've been to the Hall of fame multiple times. I'm afraid to come back here because of my past and fearful of the long time members who have their shit figured out.
I want to start posting in the new quit group but I need to work through this so I don't cave again. I can't go through caving and confessing and letting my quit group and everyone here down. It is so painful. I am full of remorse and am asking for forgiveness and another chance. I want and need to quit. I can't continue living life as a diaper. I'm a full blown addict and I'm asking for your help. Is there anyone out there who has gone through anything similar?
I'll be honest... it really doesn't sound like you want to quit. I stopped every day for about 20 years, until I found this site and decided to follow the "brotherhood and accountability = success" code of honor that all of us live by. If you want to quit, you have to be all in on this. This isn't a "try and get a gold star" system. This is a balls to the wall system.
I'm not going to address all of your excuses, but I am going to address one of them very very directly. Alcohol. I'm a senior executive for a monster large alcohol distributor. I have more alcohol on my desk than a lot of bars have on their backbar. There is alcohol flowing freely, daily, at work. And I quit booze for 100 days when I threw nicotine out. And if I can do it - let me tell you dude.... if I can give up alcohol - there is ZERO excuse for anyone on this site to use about booze. So you can drop that one.
If you don't wanna quit, dude that's ok. Someone needs to pay for those jets that the tobacco execs fly around in. And oncologists have expensive houses and cars to pay for - so when you start paying for chemo and radiation, you can help foot some of their lifestyles too. Feel free, by the way, to attack this line of thought. Tobacco stole my dad at 52, my friend Traumagnet (intro at top of this page) at around 49, and my grandfather at 76.
To quote Shawshank Redemption: Get busy living, or get busy dying. Make up your mind. Now.
Everyone nailing it on the head here, especially W2W. I tried to stop one time in 16 years and ultimately posted another day 1 because I wasn't all in. It takes reminding myself every single day that I am all in for MYSELF. I walk in a gas station now and see the cancer wall and just continuously think to myself "wow how fucking stupid was I to think it was okay to say yes sir please hand me two cans of cancer cope and shrug it off like nothing". It was always in the back of my mind every dip I took that eventually I should quit because that can is fucking awful for you and can literally KILL you. Saying it out loud nowadays makes me want to slap myself. All I can do is look forward and QLF every day from here on. It's cool to quit with and for your other brothers in your group and make relationships and talk and all that. Ultimately, you can and should only quit for yourself and know that there is a life without nic and it's so much better.
I won't address excuses either because frankly, I am a newb in my quit. I can however offer advice: my grandpa used to always say "There's an ass for every seat". Don't be the ass. Take your life back and quit right now. You've tried everything else, why not try quitting 10000% and see how that feels? If you decide to man up and be ALL IN someday, I'll be the first to quit with you.
I don't think I've been to the Introductions page for quite some time. Bored at work so thought I would drop in and read some newbie stuff that would make me remember my first days in the fog. And what a surprise to see you back.
Glad to see you posted. Not glad to see that you have been dipping an insane amount. Since you aren't responding to my text message, I'll respond here. I hope you are thinking of each and every member of each of the months you've been a part of...that you've let down when you are shoving that insane amount of cat shit in your face. I hope putting cancer in your face is worth the people you've pissed off.
You were a couple time retread when you were with me and the Battling Bastards in August 17. You caved after 346 days that time. 19 days away from a year! You were then in August 18 and caved. You were then in March 19 and caved after 19 days. I've been there supporting you each time and you keep taking a big fat dump right on my face. From what I remember, you need to move your number 3 up to number 1. Alcohol seems to be the problem. Since you don't have the death weed to turn to in stressful times, you turn to alcohol, your guard gets down and you grab a can. I believe that's been the story each time. There IS a group for serial cavers....It's called MAY 19. But you will fail just like the last 4 or 5 times if you don't give it 100%...if you don't really want to quit. We've now identified the problem. Are you man enough and are you ready to put down the nicotine and the alcohol? Are you going to be resolved to make a promise first thing every day and then be man enough to keep that promise? Are you going to exchange digits with all of the other quitters in May 19 and text them your promise every day? Are you going to text or call them if you find yourself wanting a chew or a drink and let them talk you passed the craving? You didn't text or call me the last three times...you just stopped texting and I heard a few days later that you caved. Are you going to be there for them if they need to be talked off of the ledge? Do you really want to be held accountable? Will you make the personal connections this time that will make your quit stronger? If not, I fear that you will just fail again and piss off a whole new group of bad ass quitters!!
You were 4 days ahead of me, so you'd be on day 644 had you stayed with the bastards. What a shame man. Cut out the booze and get your ass into May 19.
There's not much more than those here have already stated. You & I were quit brothers in Aug 18 which would have made you at day 292 today. You got to get the booze thing under control. That was your issue with us, and your lack of participation with the group. I was there for you after you caved with us, but then you just did it again.

Logged
HOF Date: 8/7/2018, 2nd Flr 11/15/2018, 3rd Flr 2/23/2019, 4th Flr 6/3/2019, 5th Flr 9/11/2019, 6th Flr 12/20/2019, 7th Flr 3/29/2020, 2 Years 4/28/2020, 8th Flr 7/7/2020 9th Flr 10/15/2020, 10th Flr 1/23/2021 3 Years 4/30/21 11th Flr 5/3/2021, 12th Flr 8/11/2021, 13th Flr 11/19/2021, 14th Flr 2/27/2022, 15th Flr 6/7/2022, 16th Flr 9/15/2022, 17th Flr 12/24/2022, 18th Flr 4/3/2023, 5 Years 4/30/2023, 19th Flr 7/12/2023, 2000 10/20/2023, 21st Flr 1/28/2024, 22nd Flr 5/7/2024, 23rd Flr 8/15/2024, 24th Flr 11/23/2024, 25th Flr 3/3/2025, 7 Years 4/30/2025, 26th Flr 6/11/2025