Six days and the physical aspect is starting to come forward. It's been mostly mental to this point, but now the headaches are starting. Can't sleep well either. I will make it through. All this mental and physical discomfort just reminds me I'm still alive. What does get me is seeing young people like Minor or Wiefort (Will) cave in no time flat. If either of you are reading this, I want to tell you a quick story.
I left the office around 11 this morning and headed over to a little park down the road. My only reason for being there was the off chance that some asshole would try to assault a jogger or something. I wasn't there because I wanted to be Charles Bronson or Captain America. I was there because in the moment all I wanted to do was pummel the hell of some idiot who deserved it. Guys, that's not me. I'm not a pacifist. Far from it. But to even contemplate going down the road I went on today was idiotic and completely out of character. That's what this does! It tries to work its way into the quit and take over, knowing It only needs one time. I cannot, will not let that happen.
Now, let me tell you what the real me did. The real me got out of the park and back in the car. In the parking lot I called my wife and told her how I was feeling. She listened patiently and gave me a few words of encouragement. Then she put my 7 year old daughter on the phone. All she said was that she missed me and that she loved me. I sat in my car and cried for damn near a half hour after that. It is our families that we live for. But to do that, we need to quit for ourselves. I will win this day.