Newish to quitting

[akhillbille]

I just realized my post on roll call didn't go through yesterday. I'm doing this right before leaving for work and usually in a hurry. SO I don't know if I forgot to hit the add reply button or what. But I do promise that I was quit yesterday as well. I just need to wake up a little earlier so I'm not rushed.

[Mcbeevee]

Makes me projectile puke every time I look at it! It really should be on the header if it is real.

[akhillbille]

akhillbillie, your avatar is the nightmare that everyone needs to see and be reminded of why we are here! Hard to look at but oh so effective. Is that real?

Honestly don't know if it is real. But I can tell working as a medic and an OR Tech I have seen this first hand. Some worse than this. It is definitely a reminder.

[srans]

akhillbillie, your avatar is the nightmare that everyone needs to see and be reminded of why we are here! Hard to look at but oh so effective. Is that real?

I took a close look bee,, it could be. What a image! If I would have seen that one a few years earlier,, I might have quit earlier. That needs to be added to the picture wall on ktc...

[Mcbeevee]

akhillbillie, your avatar is the nightmare that everyone needs to see and be reminded of why we are here! Hard to look at but oh so effective. Is that real?

[akhillbille]

Had my first real "breakdown" today. No I didn't give in, I'm seeing this through damnit. But I blew up today over some really stupid shit. It was something that had been building but I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. Thursdays are my stress day pretty much every week. This is the day I go all out all day long at work then go to a class after work. It is a pretty long hard day. I let it all get to me. I would try to post on here or pm or something but I don't see a computer until late at night. At my work I don't get very good cell reception either so a call is usualy completely out of the question and texts are sporadic at best. Luckily my coworkers know what I'm doing and are supportive. Had a craving most all day. This was the day I'd go through a can+ easily. At my gas station in AK coughengagen costs $6.45 but I think it was going up even more soon. So yeah that gets costly quick.

EDIT: The avatar is supposed to be gross. Just one more reminder.

[Radman]

Today by far has been the worse yet. Well really just this evening. It is the first time I've had a real bad craving. My family is going through rough times, yeah I know many out there are, and of course money is a big issue at this point. going over our budget and planning for the month and well heated discussions happen. I just go so pissed and fustrated. I actually wanted to go sit, be alone, scream and throw a chew in. But I stopped and realized how stupid putting a chew in would be. Instead I just went threw some punches on the bag, did our budget and got on here to rant. Interesting how some things that used to be just a little annoying or fustrating have now become close to unbearable at times. Just have a place to put it out there is nice. I will also take the advice of giving support. Goes back to the old teachings of it's better to give than receive. What's the point of being in the quit support community and supporting. Thanks for taking the time to read my mindless ramblings.

AK,

Good job on dealing with the stress and tension yesterday by not caving in to the cravings. I've felt the same way many times over the first week of my quit. That little distant voice in my head says take a dip and you'll feel great and life's problems will go away. But I'm really starting to understand how that's all a bullshit lie. Absolutely nothing would be improved if I dip. Stay strong brother. I promise I will not dip today no matter what.

Yep, that was a good personal victory. Mark those up as successes. Excercise always helps because it brings endorphines and also cleanses your system some. I've been known to get up and go for a run when a crave hits. Works every time. I'm glad you realized that nicotine would have just made that situation worse. You would have been mad at yourself and your financial situation would have gotten worse. I can only imagine what a can costs in Alaska, but I bet it's mighty expensive.

Keep doing what you're doing. One day at a time, brother.

You don't have to thank us. We are just paying forward the support that was once given to us. That's how this place works. Like Bean said below, we all stand to gain something here as well. Reading about your battles reminds us why we can never go back. It's a two-way street here.

EDIT: I agree with Ajacks. Your avatar is disgusting. Almost can't drink my coffee because of it.

[FLguy42]

Today by far has been the worse yet. Well really just this evening. It is the first time I've had a real bad craving. My family is going through rough times, yeah I know many out there are, and of course money is a big issue at this point. going over our budget and planning for the month and well heated discussions happen. I just go so pissed and fustrated. I actually wanted to go sit, be alone, scream and throw a chew in. But I stopped and realized how stupid putting a chew in would be. Instead I just went threw some punches on the bag, did our budget and got on here to rant. Interesting how some things that used to be just a little annoying or fustrating have now become close to unbearable at times. Just have a place to put it out there is nice. I will also take the advice of giving support. Goes back to the old teachings of it's better to give than receive. What's the point of being in the quit support community and supporting. Thanks for taking the time to read my mindless ramblings.

AK,

Good job on dealing with the stress and tension yesterday by not caving in to the cravings. I've felt the same way many times over the first week of my quit. That little distant voice in my head says take a dip and you'll feel great and life's problems will go away. But I'm really starting to understand how that's all a bullshit lie. Absolutely nothing would be improved if I dip. Stay strong brother. I promise I will not dip today no matter what.

[Ajacks23]

Today by far has been the worse yet. Well really just this evening. It is the first time I've had a real bad craving. My family is going through rough times, yeah I know many out there are, and of course money is a big issue at this point. going over our budget and planning for the month and well heated discussions happen. I just go so pissed and fustrated. I actually wanted to go sit, be alone, scream and throw a chew in. But I stopped and realized how stupid putting a chew in would be. Instead I just went threw some punches on the bag, did our budget and got on here to rant. Interesting how some things that used to be just a little annoying or fustrating have now become close to unbearable at times. Just have a place to put it out there is nice. I will also take the advice of giving support. Goes back to the old teachings of it's better to give than receive. What's the point of being in the quit support community and supporting. Thanks for taking the time to read my mindless ramblings.

your picture makes me want to puke on myself. I guess thats a good thing

[jaynellie]

Today by far has been the worse yet. Well really just this evening. It is the first time I've had a real bad craving. My family is going through rough times, yeah I know many out there are, and of course money is a big issue at this point. going over our budget and planning for the month and well heated discussions happen. I just go so pissed and fustrated. I actually wanted to go sit, be alone, scream and throw a chew in. But I stopped and realized how stupid putting a chew in would be. Instead I just went threw some punches on the bag, did our budget and got on here to rant. Interesting how some things that used to be just a little annoying or fustrating have now become close to unbearable at times. Just have a place to put it out there is nice. I will also take the advice of giving support. Goes back to the old teachings of it's better to give than receive. What's the point of being in the quit support community and supporting. Thanks for taking the time to read my mindless ramblings.

Your not rambling at all, your venting it's natural and very therapeutic. The idea of getting in a little "tif" with the wife is a common fact of married life.The fact that you know there isn't a hundred dollar bill waiting in that next fresh tin or that a fucking genie is gonna pop out of a can if you rub it just right is Key.There is no good that will come from the next dip. There is no way the Nic bitch is gonna take away any bills owed to the man.Hitting the bag, crushing some weights now that is constructive and healthy.Be proud you stayed strong and didn't give in to the bitch.Keep knocking these days out one at a time.PM me if you have any questions.Stay strong Stay Quit.

[akhillbille]

Today by far has been the worse yet. Well really just this evening. It is the first time I've had a real bad craving. My family is going through rough times, yeah I know many out there are, and of course money is a big issue at this point. going over our budget and planning for the month and well heated discussions happen. I just go so pissed and fustrated. I actually wanted to go sit, be alone, scream and throw a chew in. But I stopped and realized how stupid putting a chew in would be. Instead I just went threw some punches on the bag, did our budget and got on here to rant. Interesting how some things that used to be just a little annoying or fustrating have now become close to unbearable at times. Just have a place to put it out there is nice. I will also take the advice of giving support. Goes back to the old teachings of it's better to give than receive. What's the point of being in the quit support community and supporting. Thanks for taking the time to read my mindless ramblings.

[Bean]

Rad and the others are right. My tip on getting more support...give more support. Very effective for me dealing with craves. Pop on here for a few minutes after breakfast/lunch/dinner and share a few words with some folks just starting out. Just a simple "stay quit" will help.

You may think you don't have that much to share because you're still in the fog or haven't reached the HOF, or whatever, etc. Wrong...you do. You've lived free for 8 days!!! That is HUGE!!! CONGRATS!!!

So, tell others. Tell them about your first week of freedom...the suck, the pride, everything. Tell them about living ONE DAY AT A TIME. You'll still have craves and there will be plenty of triggers. In fact, the thought of "quitting forever" is probably still over-whelming. So, tell others how nobody asks you to quit forever here...just quit for today. Tell them that anybody can go one day. And that's all there is to it.

You have plenty to be proud of...and plenty of experience to share already. You have accomplished what many folks doubt they are capable of. Maybe the have "tried to quit" before.  Maybe they have gotten discouraged because they can't make it past Day 2 or 3. Well, you are living proof that it can be done. YOU are doing this...and THEY can too.

Think of those folks who may read your post with a dip in their mouth because they doubt they can do it. Think about how many people are still in those first few hours or days wondering if they can make it a whole afternoon, weekend or whatever. Think about how many people think nicotine is impossible to get away from. Well, you can be the one they look up to now. You've done it. The nicotine is out of your body. You're living proof it can be done.

Of course, now its the mental game. Now the trick is "staying quit"...which is really the most important part of the quit. Encouraging others built that "we're in this together" mentality that really helped me. That is where I felt the most support from this site.

Just my two cents...Stay strong, stay quit, brother!

[akhillbille]

Welcome. Seems like you've figured the site out. That's easy, but quitting is a much bigger learning curve. My mindset had to completely change, and that takes a while. Get involved. Make some friends. Get some numbers. Text/call some quitters. I like that you've been posting on FB. That's a good idea, but those friends are what I call attaboy supporters. They'll hand you an "attaboy" when you post something good. The problem is that if you miss a day, they will likely do nothing. KTC, on the other hand, is comprised of a bunch of folks that will hound your ass to no end if you miss a day. That's accountability you can't buy. That's what I needed. Lots of accountability from a bunch of folks who know what my addict brain is capable of. Turns out that some of them have become good friends. For the record, some of them are attaboy FB types too.

So I quit posting on Facebook about me quitting. I really wanted to believe they weren't all atta boy responses. Well You hit the nail on the head. Only post was from my sister saying how she thought it was great. Which honestly means more than what some can realze. She is talking about quitting smoking and trying to get her boyfriend to quit chewing. I sent her the link to here and told her to give it to him.

So I will be looking here for more support than Facebook that's for sure. I doubt I get on the live chat much. Last night I ended up with some free time but that doesn't happen very often. I have met one person and exchanged numbers and will get some more. Mostly the only time I get on the computer is at work on occasion. I figure being on here is better than creating more power point classes or doing inventory for sure.

[Radman]

I'm lucky enough to have a wife and three little girls that bug me everyday about it.

It's good to have family support, but I gotta caution you about that. I've posted it here before, but it's worth saying again. During your quit, you will experience wild emotional swings. I guarantee it, and I speak from experience. Your withdrawals will cause you to lash out. If your family is constantly bugging you about it, they will become the focus of your rage. That is unacceptable, and YOU have to stop that from happening. Our families did not force us to become addicts, so they do not deserve any suffering. Let us be the bad guys. Bring your ranting here, we can take it. Just leave the innocents out of this battle.

After I told my wife what was going on and showed her this page, her support was priceless. On many occassions, she intervened when she saw me loosing my temper with the kids. I initially quit because of my kids, but they were kept well clear of the fallout.

I'm not sure this post even made sense, but I tried.

You made perfect sense to me. I did find myself the other day going off a little too easily at my kids for something really stupid. My wife pointed it out to me and I put it in check. I understand what you are saying and I do need to watch it. It is definitely not their fault. And seeing responses like yours helps me remember that and know that I can come on here and get support when I need it.

Managed to get on the live chat last night. Met some cool people even another person from Alaska which is awesome. Managed to do roll call in the AM. I find myself coming on here more each day. Sometimes just reading through posts or talking to people about random crap just helps get the mind going in the right direction.

That's the way it's supposed to work. Usually a little distraction will get you through a crave. Same can be said for texting/calling another quitter (or ten). Get some numbers and use them. Get to know some folks here BEFORE you need them. I remember during rough spots I'd send a text to half a dozen folks. By the time I got through answering all the replies, I had forgot what caused the crave in the first place. The idea of giving my number to these clowns didn't sit well with me at first, but they all turned out to be legit.

I've never been on chat much, because I'm busy with family and volunteer duties after work. But texts saved my ass many times.

[akhillbille]

I'm lucky enough to have a wife and three little girls that bug me everyday about it.

It's good to have family support, but I gotta caution you about that. I've posted it here before, but it's worth saying again. During your quit, you will experience wild emotional swings. I guarantee it, and I speak from experience. Your withdrawals will cause you to lash out. If your family is constantly bugging you about it, they will become the focus of your rage. That is unacceptable, and YOU have to stop that from happening. Our families did not force us to become addicts, so they do not deserve any suffering. Let us be the bad guys. Bring your ranting here, we can take it. Just leave the innocents out of this battle.

After I told my wife what was going on and showed her this page, her support was priceless. On many occassions, she intervened when she saw me loosing my temper with the kids. I initially quit because of my kids, but they were kept well clear of the fallout.

I'm not sure this post even made sense, but I tried.

You made perfect sense to me. I did find myself the other day going off a little too easily at my kids for something really stupid. My wife pointed it out to me and I put it in check. I understand what you are saying and I do need to watch it. It is definitely not their fault. And seeing responses like yours helps me remember that and know that I can come on here and get support when I need it.

Managed to get on the live chat last night. Met some cool people even another person from Alaska which is awesome. Managed to do roll call in the AM. I find myself coming on here more each day. Sometimes just reading through posts or talking to people about random crap just helps get the mind going in the right direction.