Author Topic: I'm Zeus, been around but new here  (Read 5551 times)

0 Members and 8 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline EXBEARHAG

  • Quit Pro
  • ***
  • Posts: 5,237
  • Quit Date: 16 July, 2019
  • Likes Given: 825
Re: I'm Zeus, been around but new here
« Reply #13 on: March 04, 2020, 06:32:13 PM »
My message to Noobs:

When we first get to KTC, we have the mind of a full-blown addict. When we are using, our addict-mind convinces us that we can not live without dip, so we desperately make excuses to keep using, and exist on our own rules of logic.  However, somewhere along the line, we suspect we are living a lie. That suspicion hangs around in the shadows most of the time, but sometimes we are confronted with it, often by other people. When confronted by other people, we usually get combative and then isolate ourselves, physically and emotionally. We then double-down on our addiction. It is our only friend, we say.

Then, one day we get a moment of clarity, where we know we are living a lie, and our addiction has something to do with it. Once we suspect that dipping is a lie, it causes cognitive dissonance that won't go away. We get around to thinking maybe we should do something about it. We know what that something is: Quitting. The word strikes terror in our hearts. We have built a world of complete dependence on dip.

Thinking about something is NOT doing something about it. Usually, the deciding to decide process hovers around us for months or years. Those are some funky days, not matter how long they last. We feel pathetic each time we put a dip in, knowing we are playing a game of Russian Roulette for something that isn’t really working for us.  But, if we’re lucky, we finally do do something about it. Spitting out a dip and tossing the contents of the can in the toilet and flushing it is doing something. It’s absolutely terrifying. We wonder if it’s the right decision to make right now because we can feel ourselves instantly falling apart. We know that as much as dip sucks, it at least seems to keep us from disintegrating. We’ll dip to hopefully live another day, we say... and on it goes.

Well, you’re damn lucky you found us. Why, you ask, is it lucky to find a bunch of internet assholes? The answer is because these assholes have been there and we know there is a much better life on the other side. We wrote the book on excuses and bullshit. It’s all old hat for us. We know that the the mind of an addict has its own messed up programming and we know you can’t tell the difference between the messed up program and some sane version. We don’t fault you for it either. Everybody who comes in here should be somewhat batshit crazy, or we would wonder what’s up.  We want you to keep quitting, no matter how you feel, or what your crazy head is telling you to do; and it’s probably telling you to just go buy a can of dip, or maybe some other substitute, so you’ll stay on the hook. Being addicts, we are just as dependent on faulty thinking as we are on dip. The asshole vets are here to tell you that your mind and body will heal in time, and all the suckiness you’re going to go through will be worth it. But you have to stick with it long enough for that to happen.
Awesome stuff Zeus and not just this last post. First time reading through here and it's all familiar and all inspiring. Thanx for sharing brother
Wow, seriously awesome stuff, Zeus.  As real as it gets.

Some serious quit wisdom there Zues.  Thanks for laying it out for us.

Offline FLLipOut

  • Master of Quit
  • *******
  • Posts: 80,657
  • Lady Arsonist
  • Quit Date: 07/22/16
  • Likes Given: 2576
Re: I'm Zeus, been around but new here
« Reply #12 on: March 04, 2020, 11:31:26 AM »
My message to Noobs:

When we first get to KTC, we have the mind of a full-blown addict. When we are using, our addict-mind convinces us that we can not live without dip, so we desperately make excuses to keep using, and exist on our own rules of logic.  However, somewhere along the line, we suspect we are living a lie. That suspicion hangs around in the shadows most of the time, but sometimes we are confronted with it, often by other people. When confronted by other people, we usually get combative and then isolate ourselves, physically and emotionally. We then double-down on our addiction. It is our only friend, we say.

Then, one day we get a moment of clarity, where we know we are living a lie, and our addiction has something to do with it. Once we suspect that dipping is a lie, it causes cognitive dissonance that won't go away. We get around to thinking maybe we should do something about it. We know what that something is: Quitting. The word strikes terror in our hearts. We have built a world of complete dependence on dip.

Thinking about something is NOT doing something about it. Usually, the deciding to decide process hovers around us for months or years. Those are some funky days, not matter how long they last. We feel pathetic each time we put a dip in, knowing we are playing a game of Russian Roulette for something that isn’t really working for us.  But, if we’re lucky, we finally do do something about it. Spitting out a dip and tossing the contents of the can in the toilet and flushing it is doing something. It’s absolutely terrifying. We wonder if it’s the right decision to make right now because we can feel ourselves instantly falling apart. We know that as much as dip sucks, it at least seems to keep us from disintegrating. We’ll dip to hopefully live another day, we say... and on it goes.

Well, you’re damn lucky you found us. Why, you ask, is it lucky to find a bunch of internet assholes? The answer is because these assholes have been there and we know there is a much better life on the other side. We wrote the book on excuses and bullshit. It’s all old hat for us. We know that the the mind of an addict has its own messed up programming and we know you can’t tell the difference between the messed up program and some sane version. We don’t fault you for it either. Everybody who comes in here should be somewhat batshit crazy, or we would wonder what’s up.  We want you to keep quitting, no matter how you feel, or what your crazy head is telling you to do; and it’s probably telling you to just go buy a can of dip, or maybe some other substitute, so you’ll stay on the hook. Being addicts, we are just as dependent on faulty thinking as we are on dip. The asshole vets are here to tell you that your mind and body will heal in time, and all the suckiness you’re going to go through will be worth it. But you have to stick with it long enough for that to happen.
Awesome stuff Zeus and not just this last post. First time reading through here and it's all familiar and all inspiring. Thanx for sharing brother
Wow, seriously awesome stuff, Zeus.  As real as it gets.
Just one and you will be back to where you started, and where you started was desperately wishing you were where you are now.
"The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost
"I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!" - Samwise Gamgee
HOF: 10.29.16 | FL 2: 02.06.17 | FL 3: 05.17.17 | Y1: 07.22.17 | FL 4: 08.25.17 | FL 5: 12.03.17 | FL 6: 03.13.18 | FL 7: 06.21.18 | Y2: 07.22.18 | FL 8: 09.29.18 | FL 9: 01.07.19 | COMMA , : 04.17.19 | Y3: 07.22.19 | FL 11: 07.26.19 | FL 12: 11.03.19 | FL 13: 02.11.20 | FL 14: 05.21.20 | Y4: 07.22.20 | FL 15: 08.29.20  | FL 16: 12.07.20 | FL 17: 03.17.21 | FL 18: 06.25.21 | Y5: 07.22.21 | FL 19: 06.25.21 | FL 20 ,, : 01.11.22 | FL 21: 04.21.22 | Y6: 07.22.22 | FL 22: 07.30.22 | FL 23: 11.07.22 | FL 24: 02.15.23 | FL 25: 05.26.23 | Y7: 07.22.23 | FL 26: 09.03.23 | FL 27: 12.12.23 | FL 28: 03.21.24 | FL 29: 06.29.24 | Y8: 07.22.24 | FL 30 ,,,: 10.07.24

Offline 69franx

  • Hall of Fame Conductor
  • Master of Quit
  • ***
  • Posts: 23,460
  • Do I have your attention now? Quit date 08/01/17
  • Likes Given: 8865
Re: I'm Zeus, been around but new here
« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2020, 03:13:37 PM »
My message to Noobs:

When we first get to KTC, we have the mind of a full-blown addict. When we are using, our addict-mind convinces us that we can not live without dip, so we desperately make excuses to keep using, and exist on our own rules of logic.  However, somewhere along the line, we suspect we are living a lie. That suspicion hangs around in the shadows most of the time, but sometimes we are confronted with it, often by other people. When confronted by other people, we usually get combative and then isolate ourselves, physically and emotionally. We then double-down on our addiction. It is our only friend, we say.

Then, one day we get a moment of clarity, where we know we are living a lie, and our addiction has something to do with it. Once we suspect that dipping is a lie, it causes cognitive dissonance that won't go away. We get around to thinking maybe we should do something about it. We know what that something is: Quitting. The word strikes terror in our hearts. We have built a world of complete dependence on dip.

Thinking about something is NOT doing something about it. Usually, the deciding to decide process hovers around us for months or years. Those are some funky days, not matter how long they last. We feel pathetic each time we put a dip in, knowing we are playing a game of Russian Roulette for something that isn’t really working for us.  But, if we’re lucky, we finally do do something about it. Spitting out a dip and tossing the contents of the can in the toilet and flushing it is doing something. It’s absolutely terrifying. We wonder if it’s the right decision to make right now because we can feel ourselves instantly falling apart. We know that as much as dip sucks, it at least seems to keep us from disintegrating. We’ll dip to hopefully live another day, we say... and on it goes.

Well, you’re damn lucky you found us. Why, you ask, is it lucky to find a bunch of internet assholes? The answer is because these assholes have been there and we know there is a much better life on the other side. We wrote the book on excuses and bullshit. It’s all old hat for us. We know that the the mind of an addict has its own messed up programming and we know you can’t tell the difference between the messed up program and some sane version. We don’t fault you for it either. Everybody who comes in here should be somewhat batshit crazy, or we would wonder what’s up.  We want you to keep quitting, no matter how you feel, or what your crazy head is telling you to do; and it’s probably telling you to just go buy a can of dip, or maybe some other substitute, so you’ll stay on the hook. Being addicts, we are just as dependent on faulty thinking as we are on dip. The asshole vets are here to tell you that your mind and body will heal in time, and all the suckiness you’re going to go through will be worth it. But you have to stick with it long enough for that to happen.
Awesome stuff Zeus and not just this last post. First time reading through here and it's all familiar and all inspiring. Thanx for sharing brother
ABQ= Always Be Quitting

My Intro
My HOF Speech
How long have I been quit?


I brew the beer I drink, what's your superpower?


Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


HOF: 11/08/17     2nd Floor: 02/16/18     3rd Floor: 05/27/18     1st trip around the sun: 07/31/18     4th Floor: 09/04/18     5th floor: 12/13/18     6th floor: 03/23/2019     7th floor: 07/01/19     2nd trip around the sun: 07/31/19     8th floor: 10/09/19     9th floor: 01/17/20     Comma Day: 04/26/2020     3rd trip around the sun: 08/01/2020     11th floor: 08/04/2020     12th Floor: 11/12/2020     13th floor: 02/20/2021     14th floor: 05/31/2021

Offline Zeus

  • Quitman
  • Quit King
  • ******
  • Posts: 19,396
  • Quit Date: 03-08-2017
  • Likes Given: 430
Re: I'm Zeus, been around but new here
« Reply #10 on: March 01, 2020, 06:24:03 PM »
My message to Noobs:

When we first get to KTC, we have the mind of a full-blown addict. When we are using, our addict-mind convinces us that we can not live without dip, so we desperately make excuses to keep using, and exist on our own rules of logic.  However, somewhere along the line, we suspect we are living a lie. That suspicion hangs around in the shadows most of the time, but sometimes we are confronted with it, often by other people. When confronted by other people, we usually get combative and then isolate ourselves, physically and emotionally. We then double-down on our addiction. It is our only friend, we say.

Then, one day we get a moment of clarity, where we know we are living a lie, and our addiction has something to do with it. Once we suspect that dipping is a lie, it causes cognitive dissonance that won't go away. We get around to thinking maybe we should do something about it. We know what that something is: Quitting. The word strikes terror in our hearts. We have built a world of complete dependence on dip.

Thinking about something is NOT doing something about it. Usually, the deciding to decide process hovers around us for months or years. Those are some funky days, not matter how long they last. We feel pathetic each time we put a dip in, knowing we are playing a game of Russian Roulette for something that isn’t really working for us.  But, if we’re lucky, we finally do do something about it. Spitting out a dip and tossing the contents of the can in the toilet and flushing it is doing something. It’s absolutely terrifying. We wonder if it’s the right decision to make right now because we can feel ourselves instantly falling apart. We know that as much as dip sucks, it at least seems to keep us from disintegrating. We’ll dip to hopefully live another day, we say... and on it goes.

Well, you’re damn lucky you found us. Why, you ask, is it lucky to find a bunch of internet assholes? The answer is because these assholes have been there and we know there is a much better life on the other side. We wrote the book on excuses and bullshit. It’s all old hat for us. We know that the the mind of an addict has its own messed up programming and we know you can’t tell the difference between the messed up program and some sane version. We don’t fault you for it either. Everybody who comes in here should be somewhat batshit crazy, or we would wonder what’s up.  We want you to keep quitting, no matter how you feel, or what your crazy head is telling you to do; and it’s probably telling you to just go buy a can of dip, or maybe some other substitute, so you’ll stay on the hook. Being addicts, we are just as dependent on faulty thinking as we are on dip. The asshole vets are here to tell you that your mind and body will heal in time, and all the suckiness you’re going to go through will be worth it. But you have to stick with it long enough for that to happen.
June 2017 Quit Mafia

Offline chris2alaska

  • Moderator (Retired)
  • Quit King
  • *****
  • Posts: 18,891
  • I Love the Smell of Quit in the Morning
  • Quit Date: January 18, 2018 - Proud Member of the April 2018 Kings and Queen of Quit
  • Interests: Hunting, Fishing, Four-Wheeling, NASCAR, Golf
  • Likes Given: 1616
Re: I'm Zeus, been around but new here
« Reply #9 on: May 16, 2019, 07:20:18 PM »
800

Congrats brother, excited I get to celebrate those double zero for hero milestones with you.

Thank you for paying it forward and helping out.

Let's keep it going.
Any one seen Hundy?  I heard Zeus ate him.  That's right...Zeus ate Hundy!

Congrats on that 8th Floor Ascension Zeus
If you want my digits, just ask and they will be yours, but I expect yours in return.

Accountability is a statement of personal promise, both to yourself and to the people around you, to deliver specific defined results.
Brian Dive

Do not be complacent about your achievements and not to strive for continual improvement when you get to the top. As soon as you let success go to your head, you sink into following familiar patterns and play it safe. In other words, you risk losing your edge.
Roy T. Bennett

You need anything, ask.  You feel strong, help.  This quit is for you but we got your back.
wastepanel

Do not let the actions of others determine the direction of YOUR quit.
chris2alaska

There are no dumb questions, just dumb people who ask questions.
Klark

My Intro

My HOF Speech

My Comma Club Speech

Offline Athan

  • Hall of Fame Conductor
  • Master of Quit
  • ***
  • Posts: 23,622
  • Addict
  • Quit Date: January 1 2018
  • Interests: GodFamilyCountry
  • Likes Given: 1671
Re: I'm Zeus, been around but new here
« Reply #8 on: May 16, 2019, 06:00:29 PM »
800

Congrats brother, excited I get to celebrate those double zero for hero milestones with you.

Thank you for paying it forward and helping out.

Let's keep it going.
Any one seen Hundy?  I heard Zeus ate him.  That's right...Zeus ate Hundy!
"I hope you find a thousand reasons to quit today" Rawls
"I can't quit for you. I will quit with you" Ready
"There are two dogs in the fight, which one are you feeding?" SuperDave9000
"In the Navy we had morning muster. You never miss muster. You better be dead if you miss. If you are dying, you should have started crawling earlier, no excuse." Olcpo

The Science of Addiction
The Law of Addiction
The Road Called Recovery
My Intro and HOF Speech
Quitters I've met: Cbird, UncleRico, Gregor, KDip, Broccoli-saurus, Croakenhagen, BriagG, Koba, Kodiakdeath, Arrakisdq, McDave, Worktowin, SkolVikings, JGromo, GS9502, PaDutchman, Stillbrewing, A-Aron...
wildirish317
outdoortexan cancer

Offline Skolvikings

  • 86 Poison
  • Moderator (Retired)
  • Master of Quit
  • *****
  • Posts: 52,348
  • Trample the weak, hurdle the dead.
  • Quit Date: 01/02/2018
  • Interests: Mortgage Professional, Foodie, Golf, Guns, Beer, Vikings Football, Cornhuskers Football, My Amazing Wife
  • Likes Given: 981
Re: I'm Zeus, been around but new here
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2019, 12:39:19 PM »
800

Congrats brother, excited I get to celebrate those double zero for hero milestones with you.

Thank you for paying it forward and helping out.

Let's keep it going.
Be humble... grow everyday.

I fear I will always be chasing the vortex like a drug. None will be as special as my first hit.

MY HOF SPEECH

Offline mayfly

  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 3,157
  • You're either quit or you're not
    • My Intro
  • Quit Date: 08/28/2021
  • Likes Given: 192
Re: I'm Zeus, been around but new here
« Reply #6 on: March 31, 2019, 07:05:37 PM »

One year Quit.

Here’s how I’ve done it:

Don’t dip, no matter what.

Post roll call first thing every day. Give my word I will not dip today.

Reach out personally to other quitters.

Offer support to other quit groups.

Ask for help.

Don’t dip, no matter what.

Repeat.

Another important thing I’ve done is this: I have established a separate realm for my quit, beyond my personal life; whereby personal issues have no say in the quit matter. I am first and foremost quit today. Everything else is gravy.



Wow.  Good stuff Zeus.  The bolded part really resonates with me.  I too, hold my quit in its own realm, separate from my personal life.  Proud as hell to quit with you. 
Half-assed effort only gives half-assed results

Cravings are like March madness...survive and advance-Bgbdbrd

There are two types of quitters on KTC. Those who post every damn day no matter what. They could survive a plane crash 50 miles from Nome Alaska and would kill a polar bear with a pocket knife, write their days quit on ice with its blood, snap a pic with their cell phone and text it to Drome. Then there are those who always have an excuse not to post or to post late. -bicycleptic

Offline Bug Guy

  • REMF
  • Moderator (Retired)
  • Quit King
  • *****
  • Posts: 19,585
  • Just a squirrel trying to get a nut
  • Quit Date: 1-4-19
  • Interests: Buckeye Football, Hunting, Hiking, Hanging with the family
  • Likes Given: 2427
Re: I'm Zeus, been around but new here
« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2019, 12:25:25 PM »
March 23, 2019

Here is something I wrote a little more than a year ago to commemorate my 1 year quit anniversary.

----------------------------------
March 8, 2018

Flashback to February 2010:

Went out for a late dinner with my wife. Woke up in the middle of the night because I had to take a piss. Did so quickly because I wanted to get back to sleep before my mind kicked in. After doing so, while walking from the bathroom back to bed, I started to feel dizzy and saw darkness closing around me. Next thing I knew I was on the floor, coming to, while my wife was next to me, yelling my name. My wife said she was calling an ambulance. I told her she didn’t have to do that. I said I was OK, that it was just a freak accident from getting out of bed so fast and trying to force myself to take a leak quickly. She insisted on calling an ambulance and I kept insisting no. We compromised by me promising that I would make an appointment with the doctor come Monday morning.

At the doctor’s appointment, while getting checked out, I’m explaining what happened when I passed out. The doctor removes the stethoscope from his ears and asks “Do you smoke?” I said “No” with a little self-righteous pride. The doctor then asks “Do you chew tobacco?” I thought it odd that he pinned down that question so fast. I hemmed and hawed, forcing myself to utter a barely audible “Yes.” The doctor asks “How long have you been chewing tobacco?” I glance at my wife before looking back at the doctor before answering. “Thirty years,” I whisper. I hear my wife gasp with surprise. It was like admitting to an affair that went on behind her back for that long. The doctor then starts to go on in great detail how chewing tobacco is detrimental to the vascular system and how I have an increased likelihood to have a heart attack or stroke, and that it probably had ‘something’ to do with me hitting the deck. The doctor then asks if I want to quit. I look at my wife again. She doesn’t even look back. I say “Yeah…one of these days.” The doctor discusses quitting options, wants to know if I would like to try any of the prescription methods that he runs through. I tell the doctor I would rather quit by going cold turkey. He asked me how I plan on doing that and I said I would commit to looking in to it. The doctor set up an appointment for a month later, when we could see how things have improved after I had quit.

I never followed up on that appointment. I blew off my doctor.

 
Flashback to April 2010:

After a couple of months of my wife pestering me every other day, I flushed my can. "I have to do this," I thought. After one day I was crawling out of my skin. I was seconds away from leaving work and driving to the nearest C-Store and basking in the glory of a fresh dip after a long crave when I typed ‘quit dip’ into the google search box.

I remember reading Bluesman’s ‘Secret of Our Success,’ and dozens of other Hall of Fame speeches. I could relate to every word. Everything written resonated deeply with where I was in life, and with my tobacco addiction. I wanted to have that freedom and ‘success’ that all those HOF writers were describing. I had tried many times and could not make it stick. I knew this addiction was ruining my health. I knew my relationships with loved ones had deteriorated. I knew my professional life stagnated. I knew my social life suffered. I was addicted to smokeless tobacco and I felt deep shame in that. I did not want anyone to know I dipped and went to great lengths to keep it secret.  I also set up my life to ensure I had continual unfettered access to my dirty secret and was not going to let anything interfere. I was astonished to find that nearly all the quitters here felt the same. In the outside world, everyone treated me like I was some sort of weak freak for not giving up such a filthy habit years before, let alone how I could even start such a disgusting habit in the first place. Reading those HOF speeches on that day in April 2010 gave me a spark of hope that someone could understand how much I loved the stuff, how shameful it was for me, and how hard it was to quit. There was, however, proof here that I could quit.

I posted roll call and did so religiously for about 200 days. However, around day 300, I gladly decided to march into the store to buy a can, and then stuff my lip. I continued to do so for another six years. I just buried my head in six feet of denial and ignored everything.  Screw everyone and everything, I thought.

In retrospect, there were warning signs that I wouldn’t make it that go-around:

1)  I was not 100% quitting for myself. I mean, I was…and I wasn’t. I wanted good health. I wanted to improve the quality of my relationships. I wanted freedom from anxiety. I wanted people to pat me on the back. I wanted recognition. I wanted to have the success that comes with quitting—the things everybody else talked about—increased fitness, better health, better relationships, more time for interesting hobbies, and more energy to focus on professional endeavors. When those things did not happen fast enough—or not at all. I figured “What’s the use?” It is clear now that I put conditions on my quit. The conditions became more important than the quit. When the conditions weren’t met, I considered my quit a failure. I set myself up.

2) I wanted the symptoms of quitting to go away on MY timeline. The big thing here is the fog. After six months of being quit, I thought the fog was a permanent thing. I could not focus. I could no longer think a coherent thought. I could no longer write anything longer than a badly written sentence. Depression was another significant symptom that crept into my life for the first time after I quit. I thought the depression was a result of quitting and that it was permanent. I concluded that I would rather be dipping than be depressed. Some medications have benefits that outweigh the drawbacks.  I diagnosed myself and wrote my own prescription. Small wonder I chose smokeless tobacco to fill the bill.

3) My activity on this site started to dwindle after about day 200 and became just about non-existent soon thereafter. I quit posting roll call. I quit reaching out, or whenever anyone reached out to me, I ignored them. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of being accountable. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of quitting, and I did not want anyone else in my business. I had better things to do.

4) Quitting stopped being my #1 priority, if it ever was. It was more like I was trying to fake it before I made it. Faking it began to feel too untrue. It is easy to go astray, but when you are in the middle of it, you do not even notice---everything seems normal until you turn around in circles, lost, alone, and bewildered, asking yourself “Where the hell am I and how did I get HERE?”  This website answers those questions, and offers a path out. The path you choose is up to you.

Dip wasn’t going to ever make anything better or solve any of my problems. I erroneously believed dip did for me what I would not or could not do for myself. No wonder I became so attached to it. After an additional six years of dip addiction, I came to realize that smokeless tobacco would never work its magic again. It was an erroneous premise to begin with. Quitting doesn't magically solve all my problems either. Just one of them. The rest is up to me.

 

Fast Forward: March 8, 2017

One year Quit.

Here’s how I’ve done it:

Don’t dip, no matter what.

Post roll call first thing every day. Give my word I will not dip today.

Reach out personally to other quitters.

Offer support to other quit groups.

Ask for help.

Don’t dip, no matter what.

Repeat.

Another important thing I’ve done is this: I have established a separate realm for my quit, beyond my personal life; whereby personal issues have no say in the quit matter. I am first and foremost quit today. Everything else is gravy.

When I first arrived here, it was my hope to one day offer one hell of an inspirational story---to say I’ve done a triathlon, lost all the weight I need to take off, built my own company, traveled the world, climbed Mt. Everest, wrote the next great American novel, etc., all because I don’t dip anymore. Because I’ve done none of the above, I considered myself unworthy to say anything on the subject of successful quitting. Nonetheless, I have survived a tough run, and I’ve done so without dip for the past year. As I alluded to above, success doesn’t always revolve around my timeline. Also, I must re-consider my erroneous-egocentric-addict’s mind. Success comes in many different shapes and forms. 100 days... 365 days quit are major accomplishments in and by themselves. I’ll take it. I deserve to be here for those reasons alone.

I would like to thank those who have supported me and listened to me whine and complain at times. I would also like to thank those who have left their words of wisdom and trials and tribulations in this space. All I can do is pay your service forward the best I can.

-Zeus
Great stuff Zeus! Glad you came back and got yourself on track. Life is always so much better without nic stuffed in our faces. Damn proud of you, and proud to call you my brother
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


INTRO | HOF SPEECH | HOF WRITEUP
QUIT 1/4/19 HOF 4/13/19 2ND FLOOR 7/22/19 3RD FLOOR 10/30/19 4TH FLOOR 2/7/20 5TH FLOOR 5/17/20 6TH FLOOR 8/25/20 7TH FLOOR 12/3/20 8TH FLOOR 3/13/21 9TH FLOOR 6/21/21 DANGLE FLOOR 9/29/21 11TH FLOOR 1/7/22 12TH FLOOR 4/17/22

Offline Dawgs

  • Hall of Fame Conductor
  • Quitter
  • ***
  • Posts: 3,946
  • Quit Date: 2/5/2019
  • Likes Given: 265
Re: I'm Zeus, been around but new here
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2019, 03:25:45 PM »
March 23, 2019

Here is something I wrote a little more than a year ago to commemorate my 1 year quit anniversary.

----------------------------------
March 8, 2018

Flashback to February 2010:

Went out for a late dinner with my wife. Woke up in the middle of the night because I had to take a piss. Did so quickly because I wanted to get back to sleep before my mind kicked in. After doing so, while walking from the bathroom back to bed, I started to feel dizzy and saw darkness closing around me. Next thing I knew I was on the floor, coming to, while my wife was next to me, yelling my name. My wife said she was calling an ambulance. I told her she didn’t have to do that. I said I was OK, that it was just a freak accident from getting out of bed so fast and trying to force myself to take a leak quickly. She insisted on calling an ambulance and I kept insisting no. We compromised by me promising that I would make an appointment with the doctor come Monday morning.

At the doctor’s appointment, while getting checked out, I’m explaining what happened when I passed out. The doctor removes the stethoscope from his ears and asks “Do you smoke?” I said “No” with a little self-righteous pride. The doctor then asks “Do you chew tobacco?” I thought it odd that he pinned down that question so fast. I hemmed and hawed, forcing myself to utter a barely audible “Yes.” The doctor asks “How long have you been chewing tobacco?” I glance at my wife before looking back at the doctor before answering. “Thirty years,” I whisper. I hear my wife gasp with surprise. It was like admitting to an affair that went on behind her back for that long. The doctor then starts to go on in great detail how chewing tobacco is detrimental to the vascular system and how I have an increased likelihood to have a heart attack or stroke, and that it probably had ‘something’ to do with me hitting the deck. The doctor then asks if I want to quit. I look at my wife again. She doesn’t even look back. I say “Yeah…one of these days.” The doctor discusses quitting options, wants to know if I would like to try any of the prescription methods that he runs through. I tell the doctor I would rather quit by going cold turkey. He asked me how I plan on doing that and I said I would commit to looking in to it. The doctor set up an appointment for a month later, when we could see how things have improved after I had quit.

I never followed up on that appointment. I blew off my doctor.

 
Flashback to April 2010:

After a couple of months of my wife pestering me every other day, I flushed my can. "I have to do this," I thought. After one day I was crawling out of my skin. I was seconds away from leaving work and driving to the nearest C-Store and basking in the glory of a fresh dip after a long crave when I typed ‘quit dip’ into the google search box.

I remember reading Bluesman’s ‘Secret of Our Success,’ and dozens of other Hall of Fame speeches. I could relate to every word. Everything written resonated deeply with where I was in life, and with my tobacco addiction. I wanted to have that freedom and ‘success’ that all those HOF writers were describing. I had tried many times and could not make it stick. I knew this addiction was ruining my health. I knew my relationships with loved ones had deteriorated. I knew my professional life stagnated. I knew my social life suffered. I was addicted to smokeless tobacco and I felt deep shame in that. I did not want anyone to know I dipped and went to great lengths to keep it secret.  I also set up my life to ensure I had continual unfettered access to my dirty secret and was not going to let anything interfere. I was astonished to find that nearly all the quitters here felt the same. In the outside world, everyone treated me like I was some sort of weak freak for not giving up such a filthy habit years before, let alone how I could even start such a disgusting habit in the first place. Reading those HOF speeches on that day in April 2010 gave me a spark of hope that someone could understand how much I loved the stuff, how shameful it was for me, and how hard it was to quit. There was, however, proof here that I could quit.

I posted roll call and did so religiously for about 200 days. However, around day 300, I gladly decided to march into the store to buy a can, and then stuff my lip. I continued to do so for another six years. I just buried my head in six feet of denial and ignored everything.  Screw everyone and everything, I thought.

In retrospect, there were warning signs that I wouldn’t make it that go-around:

1)  I was not 100% quitting for myself. I mean, I was…and I wasn’t. I wanted good health. I wanted to improve the quality of my relationships. I wanted freedom from anxiety. I wanted people to pat me on the back. I wanted recognition. I wanted to have the success that comes with quitting—the things everybody else talked about—increased fitness, better health, better relationships, more time for interesting hobbies, and more energy to focus on professional endeavors. When those things did not happen fast enough—or not at all. I figured “What’s the use?” It is clear now that I put conditions on my quit. The conditions became more important than the quit. When the conditions weren’t met, I considered my quit a failure. I set myself up.

2) I wanted the symptoms of quitting to go away on MY timeline. The big thing here is the fog. After six months of being quit, I thought the fog was a permanent thing. I could not focus. I could no longer think a coherent thought. I could no longer write anything longer than a badly written sentence. Depression was another significant symptom that crept into my life for the first time after I quit. I thought the depression was a result of quitting and that it was permanent. I concluded that I would rather be dipping than be depressed. Some medications have benefits that outweigh the drawbacks.  I diagnosed myself and wrote my own prescription. Small wonder I chose smokeless tobacco to fill the bill.

3) My activity on this site started to dwindle after about day 200 and became just about non-existent soon thereafter. I quit posting roll call. I quit reaching out, or whenever anyone reached out to me, I ignored them. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of being accountable. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of quitting, and I did not want anyone else in my business. I had better things to do.

4) Quitting stopped being my #1 priority, if it ever was. It was more like I was trying to fake it before I made it. Faking it began to feel too untrue. It is easy to go astray, but when you are in the middle of it, you do not even notice---everything seems normal until you turn around in circles, lost, alone, and bewildered, asking yourself “Where the hell am I and how did I get HERE?”  This website answers those questions, and offers a path out. The path you choose is up to you.

Dip wasn’t going to ever make anything better or solve any of my problems. I erroneously believed dip did for me what I would not or could not do for myself. No wonder I became so attached to it. After an additional six years of dip addiction, I came to realize that smokeless tobacco would never work its magic again. It was an erroneous premise to begin with. Quitting doesn't magically solve all my problems either. Just one of them. The rest is up to me.

 

Fast Forward: March 8, 2017

One year Quit.

Here’s how I’ve done it:

Don’t dip, no matter what.

Post roll call first thing every day. Give my word I will not dip today.

Reach out personally to other quitters.

Offer support to other quit groups.

Ask for help.

Don’t dip, no matter what.

Repeat.

Another important thing I’ve done is this: I have established a separate realm for my quit, beyond my personal life; whereby personal issues have no say in the quit matter. I am first and foremost quit today. Everything else is gravy.

When I first arrived here, it was my hope to one day offer one hell of an inspirational story---to say I’ve done a triathlon, lost all the weight I need to take off, built my own company, traveled the world, climbed Mt. Everest, wrote the next great American novel, etc., all because I don’t dip anymore. Because I’ve done none of the above, I considered myself unworthy to say anything on the subject of successful quitting. Nonetheless, I have survived a tough run, and I’ve done so without dip for the past year. As I alluded to above, success doesn’t always revolve around my timeline. Also, I must re-consider my erroneous-egocentric-addict’s mind. Success comes in many different shapes and forms. 100 days... 365 days quit are major accomplishments in and by themselves. I’ll take it. I deserve to be here for those reasons alone.

I would like to thank those who have supported me and listened to me whine and complain at times. I would also like to thank those who have left their words of wisdom and trials and tribulations in this space. All I can do is pay your service forward the best I can.

-Zeus
Zeus-damn...wow...that’s a great account of where you were and where you ARE. That hits me right between the eyes, as I suspect it does for many. I once quit for a little over a year. Then, like you, I caved, and continued for the next 8 years...bringing me to now. I’m 47 days today and proud to look at you as an example.

Offline Zeus

  • Quitman
  • Quit King
  • ******
  • Posts: 19,396
  • Quit Date: 03-08-2017
  • Likes Given: 430
Re: I'm Zeus, been around but new here
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2019, 10:06:36 AM »
March 23, 2019

Here is something I wrote a little more than a year ago to commemorate my 1 year quit anniversary.

----------------------------------
March 8, 2018

Flashback to February 2010:

Went out for a late dinner with my wife. Woke up in the middle of the night because I had to take a piss. Did so quickly because I wanted to get back to sleep before my mind kicked in. After doing so, while walking from the bathroom back to bed, I started to feel dizzy and saw darkness closing around me. Next thing I knew I was on the floor, coming to, while my wife was next to me, yelling my name. My wife said she was calling an ambulance. I told her she didn’t have to do that. I said I was OK, that it was just a freak accident from getting out of bed so fast and trying to force myself to take a leak quickly. She insisted on calling an ambulance and I kept insisting no. We compromised by me promising that I would make an appointment with the doctor come Monday morning.

At the doctor’s appointment, while getting checked out, I’m explaining what happened when I passed out. The doctor removes the stethoscope from his ears and asks “Do you smoke?” I said “No” with a little self-righteous pride. The doctor then asks “Do you chew tobacco?” I thought it odd that he pinned down that question so fast. I hemmed and hawed, forcing myself to utter a barely audible “Yes.” The doctor asks “How long have you been chewing tobacco?” I glance at my wife before looking back at the doctor before answering. “Thirty years,” I whisper. I hear my wife gasp with surprise. It was like admitting to an affair that went on behind her back for that long. The doctor then starts to go on in great detail how chewing tobacco is detrimental to the vascular system and how I have an increased likelihood to have a heart attack or stroke, and that it probably had ‘something’ to do with me hitting the deck. The doctor then asks if I want to quit. I look at my wife again. She doesn’t even look back. I say “Yeah…one of these days.” The doctor discusses quitting options, wants to know if I would like to try any of the prescription methods that he runs through. I tell the doctor I would rather quit by going cold turkey. He asked me how I plan on doing that and I said I would commit to looking in to it. The doctor set up an appointment for a month later, when we could see how things have improved after I had quit.

I never followed up on that appointment. I blew off my doctor.

 
Flashback to April 2010:

After a couple of months of my wife pestering me every other day, I flushed my can. "I have to do this," I thought. After one day I was crawling out of my skin. I was seconds away from leaving work and driving to the nearest C-Store and basking in the glory of a fresh dip after a long crave when I typed ‘quit dip’ into the google search box.

I remember reading Bluesman’s ‘Secret of Our Success,’ and dozens of other Hall of Fame speeches. I could relate to every word. Everything written resonated deeply with where I was in life, and with my tobacco addiction. I wanted to have that freedom and ‘success’ that all those HOF writers were describing. I had tried many times and could not make it stick. I knew this addiction was ruining my health. I knew my relationships with loved ones had deteriorated. I knew my professional life stagnated. I knew my social life suffered. I was addicted to smokeless tobacco and I felt deep shame in that. I did not want anyone to know I dipped and went to great lengths to keep it secret.  I also set up my life to ensure I had continual unfettered access to my dirty secret and was not going to let anything interfere. I was astonished to find that nearly all the quitters here felt the same. In the outside world, everyone treated me like I was some sort of weak freak for not giving up such a filthy habit years before, let alone how I could even start such a disgusting habit in the first place. Reading those HOF speeches on that day in April 2010 gave me a spark of hope that someone could understand how much I loved the stuff, how shameful it was for me, and how hard it was to quit. There was, however, proof here that I could quit.

I posted roll call and did so religiously for about 200 days. However, around day 300, I gladly decided to march into the store to buy a can, and then stuff my lip. I continued to do so for another six years. I just buried my head in six feet of denial and ignored everything.  Screw everyone and everything, I thought.

In retrospect, there were warning signs that I wouldn’t make it that go-around:

1)  I was not 100% quitting for myself. I mean, I was…and I wasn’t. I wanted good health. I wanted to improve the quality of my relationships. I wanted freedom from anxiety. I wanted people to pat me on the back. I wanted recognition. I wanted to have the success that comes with quitting—the things everybody else talked about—increased fitness, better health, better relationships, more time for interesting hobbies, and more energy to focus on professional endeavors. When those things did not happen fast enough—or not at all. I figured “What’s the use?” It is clear now that I put conditions on my quit. The conditions became more important than the quit. When the conditions weren’t met, I considered my quit a failure. I set myself up.

2) I wanted the symptoms of quitting to go away on MY timeline. The big thing here is the fog. After six months of being quit, I thought the fog was a permanent thing. I could not focus. I could no longer think a coherent thought. I could no longer write anything longer than a badly written sentence. Depression was another significant symptom that crept into my life for the first time after I quit. I thought the depression was a result of quitting and that it was permanent. I concluded that I would rather be dipping than be depressed. Some medications have benefits that outweigh the drawbacks.  I diagnosed myself and wrote my own prescription. Small wonder I chose smokeless tobacco to fill the bill.

3) My activity on this site started to dwindle after about day 200 and became just about non-existent soon thereafter. I quit posting roll call. I quit reaching out, or whenever anyone reached out to me, I ignored them. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of being accountable. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of quitting, and I did not want anyone else in my business. I had better things to do.

4) Quitting stopped being my #1 priority, if it ever was. It was more like I was trying to fake it before I made it. Faking it began to feel too untrue. It is easy to go astray, but when you are in the middle of it, you do not even notice---everything seems normal until you turn around in circles, lost, alone, and bewildered, asking yourself “Where the hell am I and how did I get HERE?”  This website answers those questions, and offers a path out. The path you choose is up to you.

Dip wasn’t going to ever make anything better or solve any of my problems. I erroneously believed dip did for me what I would not or could not do for myself. No wonder I became so attached to it. After an additional six years of dip addiction, I came to realize that smokeless tobacco would never work its magic again. It was an erroneous premise to begin with. Quitting doesn't magically solve all my problems either. Just one of them. The rest is up to me.

 

Fast Forward: March 8, 2017

One year Quit.

Here’s how I’ve done it:

Don’t dip, no matter what.

Post roll call first thing every day. Give my word I will not dip today.

Reach out personally to other quitters.

Offer support to other quit groups.

Ask for help.

Don’t dip, no matter what.

Repeat.

Another important thing I’ve done is this: I have established a separate realm for my quit, beyond my personal life; whereby personal issues have no say in the quit matter. I am first and foremost quit today. Everything else is gravy.

When I first arrived here, it was my hope to one day offer one hell of an inspirational story---to say I’ve done a triathlon, lost all the weight I need to take off, built my own company, traveled the world, climbed Mt. Everest, wrote the next great American novel, etc., all because I don’t dip anymore. Because I’ve done none of the above, I considered myself unworthy to say anything on the subject of successful quitting. Nonetheless, I have survived a tough run, and I’ve done so without dip for the past year. As I alluded to above, success doesn’t always revolve around my timeline. Also, I must re-consider my erroneous-egocentric-addict’s mind. Success comes in many different shapes and forms. 100 days... 365 days quit are major accomplishments in and by themselves. I’ll take it. I deserve to be here for those reasons alone.

I would like to thank those who have supported me and listened to me whine and complain at times. I would also like to thank those who have left their words of wisdom and trials and tribulations in this space. All I can do is pay your service forward the best I can.

-Zeus
June 2017 Quit Mafia

Offline VMan

  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 581
  • Quit Date: 2-4-19
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: I'm Zeus, been around but new here
« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2019, 08:19:03 PM »
I'm Zeus. I have come from another quit site where I am still an active member in good standing.
My Quit Date is 3/8/2017.
I dipped for 35 years-mostly Copenhagen.
I live in Washington State, close to Seattle.
I'm married, with two boys, ages 16 & 11.
I joined a quit group in 2010 and caved after several months. That was a valuable lesson in how not to quit.
For me, quitting is a active daily battle in the trenches.

Hey Zeus-Glad you are here! You have been quit for almost 2 years...thats outstanding! I can't wait until I reach that milestone.

Offline Zeus

  • Quitman
  • Quit King
  • ******
  • Posts: 19,396
  • Quit Date: 03-08-2017
  • Likes Given: 430
I'm Zeus, been around but new here
« on: February 23, 2019, 06:07:50 PM »
I'm Zeus. I have come from another quit site where I am still an active member in good standing.
My Quit Date is 3/8/2017.
I dipped for 35 years-mostly Copenhagen.
I live in Washington State, close to Seattle.
I'm married, with two boys, ages 16 & 11.
I joined a quit group in 2010 and caved after several months. That was a valuable lesson in how not to quit.
For me, quitting is a active daily battle in the trenches.

June 2017 Quit Mafia