My introduction

[xrmattaz]

I predict you'll fail miserably if you're hoping for the fake stuff to get there that badly.

[xrmattaz]

I feel stressed out today and have been chewing gum like crazy and eating seeds like a starving pigeon. This sucks. I wish my fake stuff would get here soon...I should have ordered it back in December when I decided I was going to quit...what was I thinking, it'd probably be here by now if I'd have ordered then.

Unwrap your thoughts, Andrew.

You do need to lose the "oral satisfaction" stigma, I'd imagine it's just as important as losing the nicotine.

It's been said before......when I quit drinking, the worst thing I could have done (other than drinking beer) would have been drinking "near beer".

Just my two cents.

[jaygib]

I feel stressed out today and have been chewing gum like crazy and eating seeds like a starving pigeon. This sucks. I wish my fake stuff would get here soon...I should have ordered it back in December when I decided I was going to quit...what was I thinking, it'd probably be here by now if I'd have ordered then.

Hang tough. The mouth sores have been bad for me the past couple days and I just got a couple more cans of hooch and don't even want to use it though part of me wants a pack in the lip--the pain ain't worth it so seeds have been more satisfying. The fake crap ain't a panacea remember that.

[Hootie]

I feel stressed out today and have been chewing gum like crazy and eating seeds like a starving pigeon. This sucks. I wish my fake stuff would get here soon...I should have ordered it back in December when I decided I was going to quit...what was I thinking, it'd probably be here by now if I'd have ordered then.

Hang in there Andrew. ItÂ’ll pass. YouÂ’ve been through worse. Pain is weakness leaving your body and all the other comforting crap like that I can think of to tell youÂ…Man Up!

[andrew]

I feel stressed out today and have been chewing gum like crazy and eating seeds like a starving pigeon. This sucks. I wish my fake stuff would get here soon...I should have ordered it back in December when I decided I was going to quit...what was I thinking, it'd probably be here by now if I'd have ordered then.

[Hootie]

It's hard to go back to sleep after waking up to the sensation that you are being attacked by a chainsaw.  FML.

Sorry to hear about that. Yea that can be kinda stressfulÂ…You know what you need? A nice rock pillow. There is nothing better than a nice rock pillow to sleep on.

I can only feel like you will drone for just so long before your body takes over. Remember the drones in Ranger School and bumping into trees and putting money into imaginary soda machines and eating imaginary hamburgersÂ…

Yes, I mistook a bush for an RI and had a short conversation with it. I also wandered up towards an amazingly warm and inviting looking chateau in the middle of the woods, only to have it vanish when I got close. I also saved my buddy from drinking his night vision goggles, which apparently looked very much like a nice cold Coke.

Very niceÂ…HereÂ’s another. We had just finished a raid of some sort or the other and for some reason the RIÂ’s didnÂ’t like the way we executed it (imagine that) and they were all real pissy. SoÂ…they end up taking charge of the platoon and roadmarching us back to the next patrol base. We are moving out at a pretty good clip down the middle of this road in the middle of the desert when all of the sudden the ranger in front of me stops. He stands in the middle of the road and puts his weapon on the groundÂ…drops his ruckÂ…drops his LBEÂ…and starts taking his BDU top off. I say HEY! What are you doing? He looks me straight in the face and saysÂ…IÂ’m taking a shower.

About the worst I ever got was trying to eat imaginary hamburgers. I would be walking along on patrol just droning and would imagine myself about to bite into an awesome looking cheeseburger. I would have a smile on my faceÂ…chomp down on a pretended mouthfulÂ…then wake up extremely pissed because I realized it wasnÂ’t real

[andrew]

It's hard to go back to sleep after waking up to the sensation that you are being attacked by a chainsaw.  FML.

Sorry to hear about that. Yea that can be kinda stressfulÂ…You know what you need? A nice rock pillow. There is nothing better than a nice rock pillow to sleep on.

I can only feel like you will drone for just so long before your body takes over. Remember the drones in Ranger School and bumping into trees and putting money into imaginary soda machines and eating imaginary hamburgersÂ…

Yes, I mistook a bush for an RI and had a short conversation with it. I also wandered up towards an amazingly warm and inviting looking chateau in the middle of the woods, only to have it vanish when I got close. I also saved my buddy from drinking his night vision goggles, which apparently looked very much like a nice cold Coke.

[Hootie]

It's hard to go back to sleep after waking up to the sensation that you are being attacked by a chainsaw. FML.

Sorry to hear about that. Yea that can be kinda stressfulÂ…You know what you need? A nice rock pillow. There is nothing better than a nice rock pillow to sleep on.

I can only feel like you will drone for just so long before your body takes over. Remember the drones in Ranger School and bumping into trees and putting money into imaginary soda machines and eating imaginary hamburgers

[andrew]

I thought I had my sleep plan all figured out...just stay up late and wake up a little later than usual and it'll gradually fix itself. Well, it was working last night, I went to bed late with the intention of waking up later than normal....and of course someone decided to test fire their gatling gun an hour and a half before I have to wake up. It's hard to go back to sleep after waking up to the sensation that you are being attacked by a chainsaw. FML.



(Oh, and Hootie...I was class 09-08...you have about 15 years on me...dip was like a drug, with a dealing ring and mules that got caught in my class...ridiculous. Coincidentally, my dad, who was class 02-81, experienced dipping for his first and only time while in Ranger School.)

[Hootie]

AndrewÂ…Hang in there Ranger. Thanks for your service. I graduated class 01-93 and canÂ’t imagine ever making it through that school without Copenhagen so I know you are one tough dude. You will make it through this. I can remember actually rubbing cope juice in my eyes on purpose just to try and stay awake. Copenhagen got me through the 2000 Best Ranger Competition as well but thatÂ’s a whole other storyÂ…

Now back to this quit thingÂ…you ever need anything you give me a holler. IÂ’ll fly back over there on my own dime to help you out buddy because thatÂ’s how we rollÂ…just donÂ’t give up. IÂ’ll be looking for you at Roll Call and you know A Ranger never lies to another RangerÂ…

SoÂ…whatcha gonna do now PL

Hope you get this sleep thing fixed. Keep your muzzle out of the dirt and your knees in the breeze

RLTW

[andrew]

I thought the dip dreams would leave me alone when they stopped right around the two week mark...but they started up again yesterday. I have a hell of a time falling asleep and terrible dreams when I do.....man I'm starting to get really tired...like that long-lasting tired feel, not just "I need a nap" feel. There's no danger of me caving, but I wish this weren't so shitty feeling.


(edit)

OK, now I feel like a retard. I got to thinking that there has to be something else keeping me awake, since I am literally wide awake until 2-3 AM some nights. I checked all my supplement information and sure enough, there is one of my supplements that I take around 5 or 6 PM every night that has over 100 mg of caffeine a scoop...and I take about 2 scoops...so basically I drink 5 cups of coffee and try to go to bed 5 hours later. Not working out so well for me. Hmm. I may have to start getting used to staying up later....or maybe just slow down on the supplements...

[sapperred1]

You are so right this site works.

[G]

It's getting late here, I tried to go to bed early...but I dreamt that I found a can of Kodiak mint (I used to hate Kodiak mint) buried in some gravel, that someone had dropped, and that I stuffed it all in my mouth, a full can in my mouth and down my throat....it was so full it was pouring out and I was choking on it and I was vomiting it back up...it was old and dry and stale........then it just turned into coffee grounds or something like that and I was coughing out sawdust. Terrible, terrible dream.

The whole time I was thinking, no I can't do that...I posted roll today...I can't cave...this isn't happening...what will everyone say?,...how can I go back to Day 1?

If you are sitting on the edge, trying to decide whether you want to quit and whether this system really works....it does. Posting roll and keeping accountability with this group of guys (and gals) has really gotten me to quit, even in my subconscious. Quit today. Yes, it's hell...but I would rather live in a nicotine free hell right now than continue to be enslaved to the poison.

yeah, it's the weirdest thing. i've had two of those dreams. I never thought about my wife, kid or even myself. I just woke up mad that i had broken my promise to a bunch of anonymous folks on the web and then started dreading the shit i was going to take.

[andrew]

It's getting late here, I tried to go to bed early...but I dreamt that I found a can of Kodiak mint (I used to hate Kodiak mint) buried in some gravel, that someone had dropped, and that I stuffed it all in my mouth, a full can in my mouth and down my throat....it was so full it was pouring out and I was choking on it and I was vomiting it back up...it was old and dry and stale........then it just turned into coffee grounds or something like that and I was coughing out sawdust. Terrible, terrible dream.

The whole time I was thinking, no I can't do that...I posted roll today...I can't cave...this isn't happening...what will everyone say?,...how can I go back to Day 1?

If you are sitting on the edge, trying to decide whether you want to quit and whether this system really works....it does. Posting roll and keeping accountability with this group of guys (and gals) has really gotten me to quit, even in my subconscious. Quit today. Yes, it's hell...but I would rather live in a nicotine free hell right now than continue to be enslaved to the poison.

[loot]

Thanks for your service Andrew.