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Author Topic: July 09 Quitters  (Read 26294 times)

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Offline redtrain14

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #168 on: July 10, 2009, 12:45:00 PM »
Quote from: JpCrew
Quote from: redtrain14
Billy Mays will rise again?
I watched the 'Tribute to Billy Mays' yesterday.

1 - As cool / annoying as his voice was, he is a father. so I'm sad for his family
2 - When I quit chewing, some 186 days ago, during my bouts of insomnia I bought a gang of informercial stuff.
3 - i wished that one day I would have herard this.... ah hem..


Billy Mays here for Kill the Can. Have you tried multiple times to quit chewing but stumbled along the way? Well, here's your answer. Kill the Can is a one stop shop. Wanna quit chewing? Kill the Can. Wanna make new friends? Kill the Can. Wanna troll? Kill the Can. Wanna enjoy saving a life? Kill the Can.

it can do it all folks.....
what did you buy?
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Offline JpCrew

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #167 on: July 10, 2009, 12:26:00 PM »
Quote from: redtrain14
Billy Mays will rise again?
I watched the 'Tribute to Billy Mays' yesterday.

1 - As cool / annoying as his voice was, he is a father. so I'm sad for his family
2 - When I quit chewing, some 186 days ago, during my bouts of insomnia I bought a gang of informercial stuff.
3 - i wished that one day I would have herard this.... ah hem..


Billy Mays here for Kill the Can. Have you tried multiple times to quit chewing but stumbled along the way? Well, here's your answer. Kill the Can is a one stop shop. Wanna quit chewing? Kill the Can. Wanna make new friends? Kill the Can. Wanna troll? Kill the Can. Wanna enjoy saving a life? Kill the Can.

it can do it all folks.....
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QD - 1/6/09
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2nd Floor - 7/24/09
3rd Floor - 11/01/09
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Some people say cucumbers taste better pickled.

Offline JpCrew

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #166 on: July 10, 2009, 12:26:00 PM »
:ph43r:
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QD - 1/6/09
HOF - 4/15/09
2nd Floor - 7/24/09
3rd Floor - 11/01/09
1 Year - 1/6/10
2 Yrs - 1/6/11
Comma - 10/2/11
3 Yrs - 1/6/12
4 years - 1/6/13
5 years - 1/6/14
6 years - 1/6/15



Some people say cucumbers taste better pickled.

Offline redtrain14

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #165 on: July 10, 2009, 12:12:00 PM »
Billy Mays will rise again?
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Offline SWJ

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #164 on: July 10, 2009, 10:32:00 AM »
Just don't kill that bitch from the Magic Bullet commercial.

Yet.

I'd like to give her my magic love bullet...
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Offline DeanTheCoot

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #163 on: July 10, 2009, 10:05:00 AM »
Quote from: SWJ
Could you please unwind some announcercide on the Sham-Wow guy next...?

He's a douche.
I am happy to report that I have already initiated death wishes on Mister Sham-Wow. He is on borrowed time. Soon, every TV pitchman will be dead. I am going to vaporize an entire industry.

WATCH YOUR STEP, KID
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Offline SWJ

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #162 on: July 10, 2009, 09:18:00 AM »
Quote from: Dean
Since the very first Oxy Clean commercial aired, I have wanted Billy Mays to die. He was always SCREAMING at me. The speakers on my TV would literally buzz when his commercials were on.

BILLY MAYS HERE. L.o.u.d. TOO loud. Constantly.

If I fell asleep on the couch, I'd often be awoken to his screaming voice at 2:30 a.m. His commercials would sometimes come on during prime time, and I'd make my wife hit the mute button. His voice made me cringe. It made my blood pressure rise. I wished him death all the time. I needed him to die...It seemed to be the only way he'd stop.

I told my wife yesterday that he was dead. She didn't know. This was her tongue-in-cheek response:

"Oh my God, honey...You KILLED him. You finally killed him."
Could you please unwind some announcercide on the Sham-Wow guy next...?

He's a douche.
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Quit Date: 03/13/12
"I am the punishment of God...If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you."
- Genghis Khan

Offline livin

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #161 on: July 08, 2009, 03:21:00 PM »
Quote from: SWJ
You know how some dudes carry photographs of their kids in their wallet...?

I knew a dude once who carried a photograph of a turd around with him.

Apparently, he was taking an epic dump one day and this one particular turd just never got pinched off.

According to him, by the time he was done, there was about 4 solid feet of shit coiled around the inside of the bowl like a snake.

That shit was so long that, after it had gone around the bowl like three times, there was nothing left for it to do but stick up out of the water like a poopiscope.

Anyway, this dude was so struck by the sheer awesomeness of his creation that he went and got his camera and took a picture of it.

I remember being in a pizza joint one time with him and three other dudes when he took it out and started showing people.

Guy actually got a little teary over it like it was a picture of his grandmother or something.

But it wasn't.

It was a picture of a 4 foot long piece of shit.

Awesome.
I too have seen this behavior. My good friend is a veteran fighter pilot, one crazy sob. He has a photo of a rolled up cable in a toilet also. Like you mentioned, this guy kinda talks about it like it was his child or something. The damn photo has got to be 20 years old. Anyhow, uh hum.......holding the puke down here. He keeps the photo posted on his REFRIGERATOR. What the h@ll? And who needs dexatrim now?
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Quit Day May 15, 2009

Offline Stretch

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #160 on: July 08, 2009, 01:08:00 PM »
Quote from: DeanTheCoot
The wife and I sit down for dinner each night. Our little guy sits in his highchair at the corner of the table...me on one side; my wife on the other. I sometimes like to brush my fingers through the little man's hair and pat him on the head. Here is a piece of my life:

Wife: Michael, your hands are oily. You're going to make Jack's hair greasy.

Me: No I won't.

Wife: And you're parting it in the wrong direction! It goes the OTHER way.

Me: You're high.

Wife: He looks like Hitler now!

Me: REAL nice, honey...our son looks like Hitler. Nice thing to say.

Wife: Oh, I'm kidding...jeez

Me: Heil, mein Fuhrer

Wife: Jerk
I just caught a glimpse of my own life through someone else's eyes! I am so going home and showing this to Mrs Stretch (all 5'2" of her)!

"See honey, I'm not the only one that is constantly a smart ass to his wife!"
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Offline ScooterScum

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #159 on: July 08, 2009, 12:21:00 PM »
Quote from: SWJ
poopiscope.
I always try to add one word a day to my vocabulary! I think I will use this one for today, any suggestions on how to fit this one into the dinner conversation tonight???? 'crackup' 'crackup'
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Offline DeanTheCoot

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #158 on: July 08, 2009, 11:09:00 AM »
The wife and I sit down for dinner each night. Our little guy sits in his highchair at the corner of the table...me on one side; my wife on the other. I sometimes like to brush my fingers through the little man's hair and pat him on the head. Here is a piece of my life:

Wife: Michael, your hands are oily. You're going to make Jack's hair greasy.

Me: No I won't.

Wife: And you're parting it in the wrong direction! It goes the OTHER way.

Me: You're high.

Wife: He looks like Hitler now!

Me: REAL nice, honey...our son looks like Hitler. Nice thing to say.

Wife: Oh, I'm kidding...jeez

Me: Heil, mein Fuhrer

Wife: Jerk
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Offline GlennFtheKodiak

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #157 on: June 30, 2009, 10:35:00 AM »
Quote from: DeanTheCoot
Since the very first Oxy Clean commercial aired, I have wanted Billy Mays to die. He was always SCREAMING at me. The speakers on my TV would literally buzz when his commercials were on.

BILLY MAYS HERE. L.o.u.d. TOO loud. Constantly.

If I fell asleep on the couch, I'd often be awoken to his screaming voice at 2:30 a.m. His commercials would sometimes come on during prime time, and I'd make my wife hit the mute button. His voice made me cringe. It made my blood pressure rise. I wished him death all the time. I needed him to die...It seemed to be the only way he'd stop.

I told my wife yesterday that he was dead. She didn't know. This was her tongue-in-cheek response:

"Oh my God, honey...You KILLED him. You finally killed him."

1. My wife is awesome
2. I AM A GOD
Mrs Coot certainly shares, your sick, twisted, sense of humor.

But that's fucking funny. You fucking killed Billy Mays.

I only kill the punnanny.
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football rules, soccer drools

HOF: July 7th, 2009

Offline DeanTheCoot

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #156 on: June 30, 2009, 09:40:00 AM »
Since the very first Oxy Clean commercial aired, I have wanted Billy Mays to die. He was always SCREAMING at me. The speakers on my TV would literally buzz when his commercials were on.

BILLY MAYS HERE. L.o.u.d. TOO loud. Constantly.

If I fell asleep on the couch, I'd often be awoken to his screaming voice at 2:30 a.m. His commercials would sometimes come on during prime time, and I'd make my wife hit the mute button. His voice made me cringe. It made my blood pressure rise. I wished him death all the time. I needed him to die...It seemed to be the only way he'd stop.

I told my wife yesterday that he was dead. She didn't know. This was her tongue-in-cheek response:

"Oh my God, honey...You KILLED him. You finally killed him."

1. My wife is awesome
2. I AM A GOD
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Offline DeanTheCoot

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #155 on: June 29, 2009, 01:19:00 PM »
HAAAAA!

"...and here's a picture of my little pride and joy...."
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Offline SWJ

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Re: July 09 Quitters
« Reply #154 on: June 29, 2009, 11:44:00 AM »
You know how some dudes carry photographs of their kids in their wallet...?

I knew a dude once who carried a photograph of a turd around with him.

Apparently, he was taking an epic dump one day and this one particular turd just never got pinched off.

According to him, by the time he was done, there was about 4 solid feet of shit coiled around the inside of the bowl like a snake.

That shit was so long that, after it had gone around the bowl like three times, there was nothing left for it to do but stick up out of the water like a poopiscope.

Anyway, this dude was so struck by the sheer awesomeness of his creation that he went and got his camera and took a picture of it.

I remember being in a pizza joint one time with him and three other dudes when he took it out and started showing people.

Guy actually got a little teary over it like it was a picture of his grandmother or something.

But it wasn't.

It was a picture of a 4 foot long piece of shit.

Awesome.
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Quit Date: 03/13/12
"I am the punishment of God...If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you."
- Genghis Khan
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