July 09 Quitters

[DeanTheCoot]

And a truth you won't see me post very often is that I still do miss dipping. I do have a cave date, although I don't know what it is.

...yet you remain quit.

That's the crux of this whole discussion. In effect, I am planning a cave *in order to help me stay quit*. Addiction is romance, and I'm a hopeless romantic.

But it gives me VD, so I'm gonna avoid it.

[11X4]

I'm sure you've gotten inundated with PM's and there is some VERY sound advice posted below. But this is something that I remember well about my quit.

-------See my join date over there? Check out my quit date in my signature line.

I was where you are right now when I joined this site. I had "beaten" what everyone thinks is the hardest part on desire. I wanted to quit and I was doing it for 70 sumpin days on that desire alone. I had found KTC.org and knew there was some myspace message board type of thing, but skepticism kept me from joining. Until I fell into this thing that you're in right now affectionately known as the funk.

It was that exact feeling of not wanting to accept "no more dip, ever" that had me feeling helpless. I had a ton of reasons why quitting was a stupid idea. I was sick of quitting. My addiction had me believing that "the news" wouldn't be so bad because at least then there would be nothing lost with a dip. Can you believe that? Talk about a brain working in a fucked up way?

The funk is powerful. But it will pass. And a truth you won't see me post very often is that I still do miss dipping. I do have a cave date, although I don't know what it is. I'm just not into the "forever" of it yet. The reason I don't post it very often is because I refuse to romanticize my addiction. And while that's true, I don't miss having flakes in my teeth, not being able to just kiss my wife or kids, the feeling of it may be too late to quit...you get the picture.

fine print note: I was an idiot for waiting 70 sumpin days for joining. I missed out on enduring some tough times with friends. I was lucky to have been accepted by my group. Please don't take me bringing that up as bragging of any sort because its not.

[Hank]

I am setting a cave date: October 1, 2009.

I can't fucking wait.

I assume that's you and your baby in your avatar. You're gonna choose dip over that child? Make your baby's mother explain in 5 years that daddy's not around because he loved dip more than his own child?

What a bitch you are.

[nmc]

That really did help my nutty funk, SWJ.

NOTE TO ALL: SWJ is more than a round ass with a tight sense of humor.

I thank all you guys for engaging in my hard day.

And I ain't caving. But I am still planning my cave for October 1. When that day comes, I will re-read what you all wrote, as well as reflect on what I've accomplished, and re-set my cave date to October 1, 2010.

I will look forward to that dip...and I'll never have it.

Always hoping that, sooner or later, I really do "feel better."

He's pretty fucking clever and smart, that SWJ.

SWJ thanks for talking my boy Dean off the ledge.

Dean, it's OK to feel like a beaten man. I know you're not going back to dip until October 1st, so that's OK too.

And I know, you know, that you need permission from your wife and son to do it on that day. i guess we will cross that bridge in 4 months.

I'm with SWJ, I am over it. I'm done. I don't like to talk about it too much on here, I have a reputation to uphold, but I am probably the most panic-stricken, depressed, anxious, stressed out person on here. for a myriad of reasons. There's plenty of good going on in my life, but also alot of turmoil, but no matter how miserable I have been, no matter how much pressure I have been under in work, running our football league, worrying about business, planning a wedding, etc, etc, 100x, I know that dip won't solve it.

Fuck dip dude, it's fucking gross. it's for losers. and it will kill you. I can say, I AM over it. And so are you.

Great discussion guys! Just wanted to add one more thing to it. I suggest you post some of these things in your quit group. Not everyone from July is likely to head over to Introductions to see this. You never know how you might post something that another of your quit brothers is also feeling or how your post helps them through a tough day. To this day, I remember how some seemingly benign conversations evolved into some of the best discussions in my May 09 group.

[GlennFtheKodiak]

That really did help my nutty funk, SWJ.

NOTE TO ALL: SWJ is more than a round ass with a tight sense of humor.

I thank all you guys for engaging in my hard day.

And I ain't caving. But I am still planning my cave for October 1. When that day comes, I will re-read what you all wrote, as well as reflect on what I've accomplished, and re-set my cave date to October 1, 2010.

I will look forward to that dip...and I'll never have it.

Always hoping that, sooner or later, I really do "feel better."

He's pretty fucking clever and smart, that SWJ.

SWJ thanks for talking my boy Dean off the ledge.

Dean, it's OK to feel like a beaten man. I know you're not going back to dip until October 1st, so that's OK too.

And I know, you know, that you need permission from your wife and son to do it on that day. i guess we will cross that bridge in 4 months.

I'm with SWJ, I am over it. I'm done. I don't like to talk about it too much on here, I have a reputation to uphold, but I am probably the most panic-stricken, depressed, anxious, stressed out person on here. for a myriad of reasons. There's plenty of good going on in my life, but also alot of turmoil, but no matter how miserable I have been, no matter how much pressure I have been under in work, running our football league, worrying about business, planning a wedding, etc, etc, 100x, I know that dip won't solve it.

Fuck dip dude, it's fucking gross. it's for losers. and it will kill you. I can say, I AM over it. And so are you.

[DeanTheCoot]

That really did help my nutty funk, SWJ.

NOTE TO ALL: SWJ is more than a round ass with a tight sense of humor.

I thank all you guys for engaging in my hard day.

And I ain't caving. But I am still planning my cave for October 1. When that day comes, I will re-read what you all wrote, as well as reflect on what I've accomplished, and re-set my cave date to October 1, 2010.

I will look forward to that dip...and I'll never have it.

Always hoping that, sooner or later, I really do "feel better."

[SWJ]

I am sick of these everydays. I do it. Every day. But it sucks, and I'm tired of it. I want to dip.

Me too.

But I won't.

And neither will you.

Who can tell me he doesn't want a dip right now?

I don't.

Those days are over.

I'm one of those dudes who loved dipping.

Thoroughly enjoyed it and didn't really want to quit.

But the only thing I miss is the selfish part...the buzz.

I don't miss the lying.

Nor do I miss the health detriments.

It will kill you and dying sucks ass.

Who can tell me he hasn't seen himself dipping again?

I haven't.

And here's some important shit -

There are certain dudes here that I am sure won't dip again.

You're one of them.

I've been disappointed by a couple of other dudes who caved, but they'll be back.

You, on the other hand, aren't going anywhere.

I just know you're stronger than that shit.

Who is trying to tell me that he is a GOD over nicotine?

I'm a god in a lot of ways.

But I never thought I could be one over nicotine, until I came here.

With every day that you bitch-slap this habit, your deity points increase.

Who has anything more going for him than the mere attitude that to NOT dip is better and more important than dipping?

This is the best fucking question of all.

And the answer is this -

Every mofo on this site has a hundred other dudes going for him.

That trumps attitude every day.

If you don't want to cave with me on October 1, you are a better man than I am. And I want your secrets. I want your magic bullet.

You can't have my magic bullet, bitch.

My magic bullet is you.


Get your shit together, dude.

You're awesome  this will pass.

And if it doesn't pass, Reach Out.

'Cause you're staying.

[DeanTheCoot]

I am having a HARD time today, boys.

I don't know about everyone else. There are so many guys here who say they hate dip. Quitting must be easy for them (or at least their attitudes would suggest it is). Then there are guys who say they LOVE dip, but stay quit anyway. They ride on pure resolve.

I am in the camp where I neither hate nor love dip. All I know is that dip is the only fucking thing that will fix me right now. I'll throw away a strong quit and feel ashamed of myself afterward and be a weakling...but it will completely fix me for those fleeting moments.

Do any of you see what I'm saying? I'm SHOT, bros. I am fresh out of ideas, of strategies, of comfort, of ANYTHING. All I have is this quit.

Am I going to dip today? No. Am I going to dip on October 1? No. But do I want to pretend that I will? You bet your ass. I want to really believe that I am going to dip again soon. Why? Because envisioning a lifetime without dip is too much for me to handle. And conversely, I am at the point right now where the "one day at a time" mantra is ringing hollow. I am sick of these everydays. I do it. Every day. But it sucks, and I'm tired of it. I want to dip.

Who can tell me he doesn't want a dip right now?

Who can tell me he hasn't seen himself dipping again?

Who is trying to tell me that he is a GOD over nicotine?

Who has anything more going for him than the mere attitude that to NOT dip is better and more important than dipping?

And who doesn't sometimes waver from that in body and need to reclaim himself, in mind?

If you don't want to cave with me on October 1, you are a better man than I am. And I want your secrets. I want your magic bullet.

Yep...All the preceding is representative of a stage for me, and it will pass. But forgive me if that doesn't give me any fucking comfort right now. Because NOTHING is passing right now.

[jaydisco]

I am setting a cave date: October 1, 2009.

I can't fucking wait.

Way to go !

With 2009 cave date you'll be on track to make your "I can't kiss my wife or even look at my son because I just had my jaw removed" date of October 2012!

You'll be the happiest, most well respected man if you continue to dip - your self-esteem will rocket sky-high, and you'll be the first in line for that big promotion! And think about how proud you will be to have made that cave. Definitly an inflection point to be cultivated in your memoires.

I wish I had your resolve.

[SWJ]

I am setting a cave date: October 1, 2009.

I can't fucking wait.

I can't either.

I'm dying to try out my magical new move.

Supposedly, it can actually cave a dude's head in and make his wife hot for me instead of him.

For real.

[JpCrew]

I am setting a cave date: October 1, 2009.

I can't fucking wait.

WTF? What do you mean?

What? Maybe you transposed your 9  0...di you mean 2090?

[GlennFtheKodiak]

I am setting a cave date: October 1, 2009.

I can't fucking wait.

WTF? What do you mean?

[DeanTheCoot]

I am setting a cave date: October 1, 2009.

I can't fucking wait.

[Donedippin3]

Good stuff I agree with it all nice to see it written down.

[bearattack]

For those of us who have been on the can for 15+ years, I suppose it does come down to quitting or dying. I don't feel like dying, so quitting is my only option.

A long time ago, I told myself that it would suck to be in my 30s, still dipping, dying of cancer. Well, now I'm in my 30s. I don't have cancer, and I am not dying. That's good. I owe it to whoever or whatever to stop pushing my fucking luck. I need to get ahead of this before it kills me.

And you know what I try to keep in mind? As depressing as it is to think of a world without tobacco (and by God...the sense of loss I get when trying to quit is vicious), it's much more depressing to think about saying goodbye to my one-year-old.

Anyway, I run the risk of blabbing because this is the first time I have tried to quit in more than three years, and this is day three for me. (I spent day one on the patch, but I went pure nicotine-free yesterday.) Needless to say, I barely know where I am right now. I am plowed with withdrawal. I could very easily verbally assault and bring to tears anyone who comes near me, and afterward demolish this office building with my bare hands and teeth. I think I WOULD like to do that, actually.

Yeah that says it all- you got it right Dean. Feels like i lost a friend- although I know it wasnt really a friend.

Keep thinking- losing nothing!

Was in a quicky store today SKLLCM staring at me- 2 for 5.77- damn good deal

But, i walked away. WHO IS YOUR DADDY BITCH?

That felt good.

now this bitch hasnt even signed on since 3/27........ pussy


fukukodiak