Time to do this...

[J2thaZ]

Kind of a state of complacency right now (even though only 10 days into it). Not close to caving, but tonight has been one of those nights where I'm having trouble taking it ODAAT. I keep thinking ahead, and then it seems the daunting task is back. It's funny because a couple other guys on 10 in the Sultans today have also had a tough day. Not sure what it is, but I'm damn glad I have the site to log into when I need it the most.

Almost time to suck down some Sleepytime, and head to bed (probably with another dip dream on the menu - hate those damned things). Wake up tomorrow to snake eyes, and do it all over. Wouldn't have it any other way. FY NB, I quit successfully again today. J2thaZ - 10, NB - 0.

J2Z, forgive me if I'm wrong. I'm not a vet here but I've noticed something about your quit. You seem to have very high highs. Maybe I'm wrong but that's my impression.

First of all, I'm a huge fan of over-enthusiasm. You just can't teach that in life. I congratulate you on that and I mean it.

The problem is that you could end up being over over excited when things go well and over disappointed when things aren't great. We're all on a rollercoaster right now. Personally, my emotions have been all over the map since quitting but I try to stay as realistic and balanced as possible with an eye on the big picture AND especially one day at a time.

Your enthusiasm gets me pumped up - I really liked your observations 1-5. Keep that up but try to avoid getting too high or too low this early in your quit. Personally, I think it's a little bit risky.

Again - I'm a newbie here with 22 days quit but that's my two cents. You've been very active on KTC and that's awesome - it's the most important thing. Don't let up.

Thanks W2W. Appreciate all the advice whether noob or Chewie. I didn't mean to sound like a downer. Just wanted to make sure my reflections in here aren't just when I'm hyped to be rearending the NB. I won today. I'll wait til tomorrow to win tomorrow.

Proud to be quit with you W2W.

[TrueToMyself]

Kind of a state of complacency right now (even though only 10 days into it). Not close to caving, but tonight has been one of those nights where I'm having trouble taking it ODAAT. I keep thinking ahead, and then it seems the daunting task is back. It's funny because a couple other guys on 10 in the Sultans today have also had a tough day. Not sure what it is, but I'm damn glad I have the site to log into when I need it the most.

Almost time to suck down some Sleepytime, and head to bed (probably with another dip dream on the menu - hate those damned things). Wake up tomorrow to snake eyes, and do it all over. Wouldn't have it any other way. FY NB, I quit successfully again today. J2thaZ - 10, NB - 0.

J2Z, forgive me if I'm wrong. I'm not a vet here but I've noticed something about your quit. You seem to have very high highs. Maybe I'm wrong but that's my impression.

First of all, I'm a huge fan of over-enthusiasm. You just can't teach that in life. I congratulate you on that and I mean it.

The problem is that you could end up being over over excited when things go well and over disappointed when things aren't great. We're all on a rollercoaster right now. Personally, my emotions have been all over the map since quitting but I try to stay as realistic and balanced as possible with an eye on the big picture AND especially one day at a time.

Your enthusiasm gets me pumped up - I really liked your observations 1-5. Keep that up but try to avoid getting too high or too low this early in your quit. Personally, I think it's a little bit risky.

Again - I'm a newbie here with 22 days quit but that's my two cents. You've been very active on KTC and that's awesome - it's the most important thing. Don't let up.

[J2thaZ]

Kind of a state of complacency right now (even though only 10 days into it). Not close to caving, but tonight has been one of those nights where I'm having trouble taking it ODAAT. I keep thinking ahead, and then it seems the daunting task is back. It's funny because a couple other guys on 10 in the Sultans today have also had a tough day. Not sure what it is, but I'm damn glad I have the site to log into when I need it the most.

Almost time to suck down some Sleepytime, and head to bed (probably with another dip dream on the menu - hate those damned things). Wake up tomorrow to snake eyes, and do it all over. Wouldn't have it any other way. FY NB, I quit successfully again today. J2thaZ - 10, NB - 0.

[J2thaZ]

Almost to double digits (about an hour), and I can't believe how different I feel. My life has already changed in ways I hadn't even pondered when I pulled the trigger on my quit 9 days ago.

Observation #1: The first thing I did when I got home and pulled into the driveway tonight was to jump out of my truck, give my kid a big hug, then proceed to help him fix the seat on his bike. After that I went inside, hugged and kissed my wife, fed my baby girl some nasty green mush, bbq'd dinner, cleaned up dinner, gave the kids a bath, got them both some milk and put them both to bed. WITHOUT so much as a thought to the dip. I'm a better dad and husband then I ever could have been dipping even if I'd tried. In that same time period two weeks ago, I would have missed at least three if not more of those activities, and wouldn't even have realized what I was missing.

Observation #2: There is not one good reason I can think of to ever use dip again. I understand that caves aren't usually (read never) logically thought out, but in 9 short days, I am starting to understand that the NB played some crazy voodoo mind games that made it seem like a good idea as often as I could do so without getting caught.

Observation #3: At least twice a day, I drive by the C-store where I used to buy my chew. On occasion, a long run will also take me by it. Since coming out of the fog in day 4ish, I honestly haven't even noticed it until this afternoon when I drove by. Only reason I noticed today? Some numbnut had some headphones draped over his ears, his eyes closed, walking down the street trying to dance like the Biebs, tripped and fell into the bush right outside the C-store. It was awesome, then I noticed the C-store, and that was even more awesome.

Observation #4: Accountability on this site is no joke. Not much gets by the wiliest of vets on this site (including, but not limited to, Evil, gmann, LOOT, j2b, Grizz, JW, etc.). If you aren't on your shit, they'll douse you in it until you figure it out. No smoke-blowing going on here. This shit it tough. Simple as hell, but tough. Oh yah, and don't you even for a second think of letting your quit bros/sis's down.

Observation #5: KTC has a winning formula. This shit works. I've been texting with some quit bros everyday since day 2, and I'm still quit.

Finally, FY NB. Today I am quit, and as hard as you tried to pull me back today, I had farts that lasted longer than any thoughts of going back. Today I QLF with the Sultans and all the bad-ass quitters on this site that give their word to stay quit for 24 hours. Today I put myself, my wife, my kids, and my family and friends (even the dippers), ahead of that stanky, poisonous, good-for-nothing, filthy, cancer-causing, dirty turd. EDD.

J2thaZ

[J2thaZ]

^^^^^ truth hammer. wow.

I'm with Minny there. I used to imagine telling my wife and parents about that I had cancer. My mom got cancer three times and beat it three times (not from tobacco). Can you imagine if I had to tell her that I gave myself cancer? I can. I thought about it a lot.

How about going to the daughter's wedding without a lower jaw? Daydreamed about that, too.

Since quitting 22 days ago, I've had one cave nightmare. It was way too real. Physical feeling of deep regret, panic, shame, failure and fear. I'll do whatever I must so that I'll never face that terror again.

You're very active here, J2Z - keep up tha werk.

J2Z,

It's funny Truetomyself is my boy in August group and lo and behold him and I are reading through your intro at the same time. Anyway - looks like you are doing great. I'm 23 days and dipped for 22 years. Take advantage of this opportunity not to waste 12 more years and thousands of dollars. I also have young kids - a 4yr old girl and a 14 month little boy. When my wife used to take my daughter somewhere I had no problem filling my face with shit while my 6 month old son would look right in my eyes. How fucked up is that?

I had my first dip dream last night - I also felt the panic of what was I going to do on KTC when I woke up, but also I felt so stupid that I let it happen till I realized it was a dream.

Proud to quit with you today.

Thanks gents. Nice to hear some sounding board responses to these kind of troubles. My hope is I never catch your guys' number (unless I can perfect the time travel I'm working on), but I'd be happy to post a +1 with you EDD.

[lighty7]

^^^^^ truth hammer. wow.

I'm with Minny there. I used to imagine telling my wife and parents about that I had cancer. My mom got cancer three times and beat it three times (not from tobacco). Can you imagine if I had to tell her that I gave myself cancer? I can. I thought about it a lot.

How about going to the daughter's wedding without a lower jaw? Daydreamed about that, too.

Since quitting 22 days ago, I've had one cave nightmare. It was way too real. Physical feeling of deep regret, panic, shame, failure and fear. I'll do whatever I must so that I'll never face that terror again.

You're very active here, J2Z - keep up tha werk.

J2Z,

It's funny Truetomyself is my boy in August group and lo and behold him and I are reading through your intro at the same time. Anyway - looks like you are doing great. I'm 23 days and dipped for 22 years. Take advantage of this opportunity not to waste 12 more years and thousands of dollars. I also have young kids - a 4yr old girl and a 14 month little boy. When my wife used to take my daughter somewhere I had no problem filling my face with shit while my 6 month old son would look right in my eyes. How fucked up is that?

I had my first dip dream last night - I also felt the panic of what was I going to do on KTC when I woke up, but also I felt so stupid that I let it happen till I realized it was a dream.

Proud to quit with you today.

[TrueToMyself]

^^^^^ truth hammer. wow.

I'm with Minny there. I used to imagine telling my wife and parents about that I had cancer. My mom got cancer three times and beat it three times (not from tobacco). Can you imagine if I had to tell her that I gave myself cancer? I can. I thought about it a lot.

How about going to the daughter's wedding without a lower jaw? Daydreamed about that, too.

Since quitting 22 days ago, I've had one cave nightmare. It was way too real. Physical feeling of deep regret, panic, shame, failure and fear. I'll do whatever I must so that I'll never face that terror again.

You're very active here, J2Z - keep up tha werk.

[Thumblewort]

^^^^^ truth hammer. wow.

[Minny]

First dip dream Saturday night. Not really sure the circumstances, but I was dipping like a fiend in the dream, and when I woke up, I honestly thought I'd snapped. The first 10 seconds I was trying to figure out how I was going to confess to all you 'arse' 's on this site....then I subconsciously ran my tongue along my lower lip....wait a minute, my lip isn't all chewed up....I didn't cave, it was a dream...I DIDN'T CAVE!!

I was so happy to come to that realization and be able to post by "8" when I woke up on Sunday. Part of me realizes though that I believed it at first. I wasn't punching myself in the face because I thought I'd caved. I was trying to mitigate the damages. Just goes to show that even though I'm QLF today, my mind hasn't totally forgiven me for the damage done for the last 10 years. I'm quit today and today I'm taking back more of that power that I willingly forked over for so long.

J2thaZ

Now you know what it would feel like to cave. Channel that into your quit.

Cave dreams are good, IMO. Like DaGranger was saying, channel that emotion... reflect on how shitty it would feel if you actually had caved. What would you do? If the imagined consequences of caving aren't painful enough then you need to find another layer of accountability by sharing your quit story to someone in your life. Burn the bridge back to addiction.

On a slightly similar note, I used to imagine telling my wife and kids that I had been diagnosed with throat cancer. Can you imagine the regret(s)? It would be unbearable.

+1

[Dagranger]

First dip dream Saturday night. Not really sure the circumstances, but I was dipping like a fiend in the dream, and when I woke up, I honestly thought I'd snapped. The first 10 seconds I was trying to figure out how I was going to confess to all you 'arse' 's on this site....then I subconsciously ran my tongue along my lower lip....wait a minute, my lip isn't all chewed up....I didn't cave, it was a dream...I DIDN'T CAVE!!

I was so happy to come to that realization and be able to post by "8" when I woke up on Sunday. Part of me realizes though that I believed it at first. I wasn't punching myself in the face because I thought I'd caved. I was trying to mitigate the damages. Just goes to show that even though I'm QLF today, my mind hasn't totally forgiven me for the damage done for the last 10 years. I'm quit today and today I'm taking back more of that power that I willingly forked over for so long.

J2thaZ

Now you know what it would feel like to cave. Channel that into your quit.

[J2thaZ]

First dip dream Saturday night. Not really sure the circumstances, but I was dipping like a fiend in the dream, and when I woke up, I honestly thought I'd snapped. The first 10 seconds I was trying to figure out how I was going to confess to all you 'arse' 's on this site....then I subconsciously ran my tongue along my lower lip....wait a minute, my lip isn't all chewed up....I didn't cave, it was a dream...I DIDN'T CAVE!!

I was so happy to come to that realization and be able to post by "8" when I woke up on Sunday. Part of me realizes though that I believed it at first. I wasn't punching myself in the face because I thought I'd caved. I was trying to mitigate the damages. Just goes to show that even though I'm QLF today, my mind hasn't totally forgiven me for the damage done for the last 10 years. I'm quit today and today I'm taking back more of that power that I willingly forked over for so long.

J2thaZ

[Lipizzaner]

Confession of a Nic Addict Vol. I

Today is day 7, and so far so good in the grand scheme of things. The craves aren't as intense, and they've become less frequent. Winning, right? The problem is I haven't learned to hate it yet. I hate it periodically, sure. In fact, most of the time I hate the weed. However, every once in awhile I find myself daydreaming about the burn. I sensationalize the rush/buzz I would get and the feeling of the spitter in my hand on a long drive. The satisfying thump of a well-packed can. I don't hate it with every atom of my being yet like each and every vet still preaching here.

I should have prefaced this post with the idea that the reader should not fear that this BAMF is shaky in his quit. I am not. My quit is strong. I have TMTLF to cave at this point. It is simply worth noting that this seductress is clever. She blocks out the awful things: cancer, gum disease, losing teeth, bad breath, financial drain, smelly fingers (not in the good way), bailing on one's family, lying, sneaking, selling out, hiding.... None of those things are the ones I remember when the temptress is whispering in my ear.

I'm strong, but this takes work. This isn't easy. It's damn near the simplest thing I've ever done, but damn near the hardest as well. Thank you KTC. Without my brothers/sisters in quit, I would have caved each and every day this week, and been right back where I started. Today, I am 7 days in, nic free, $40 to the better, and on a one-way hi-speed train to Quitsville. Not today and not ever, even if it's a battle each and every day.

J2thaZ

Yo bro- I know you are going hard core quit ninja around the house, but next time you are on a long drive or out with the boys, you got to bring some fakey out wth you. Hooch
I think spitfire fine cut is kind of like cope. I am a big fan.
Wintergreen rough cut is balls on for Kodiak, which was my death can of choice.
I always kind of liked having something to do, oral fixation, etc.
Anything you might be missing about chew, you can get from the hooch. It just isn't full of addictive poison, and won't kill you.

Thanks Lip. Some of the Sultans and I were texting earlier and we're weighing the pros and cons of fake. I think for the first little while it might be beneficial to get thru that ridiculous daydream.

Anything to keep the turd outta my mouth. I'm good. Almost thru day 7 and I'm already fired up to post my 8 tomorrow.

Thats awesome. As far as the pro cons. Don't see much of a con to anything as long as it strengthens your quit. I love me some fake.
Didn't use it for the first 5 days, which I think was good to make sure I really felt the hammer of the nic bitch. But since then, I have been hooching a lot, and I love it.

[J2thaZ]

Confession of a Nic Addict Vol. I

Today is day 7, and so far so good in the grand scheme of things. The craves aren't as intense, and they've become less frequent. Winning, right? The problem is I haven't learned to hate it yet. I hate it periodically, sure. In fact, most of the time I hate the weed. However, every once in awhile I find myself daydreaming about the burn. I sensationalize the rush/buzz I would get and the feeling of the spitter in my hand on a long drive. The satisfying thump of a well-packed can. I don't hate it with every atom of my being yet like each and every vet still preaching here.

I should have prefaced this post with the idea that the reader should not fear that this BAMF is shaky in his quit. I am not. My quit is strong. I have TMTLF to cave at this point. It is simply worth noting that this seductress is clever. She blocks out the awful things: cancer, gum disease, losing teeth, bad breath, financial drain, smelly fingers (not in the good way), bailing on one's family, lying, sneaking, selling out, hiding.... None of those things are the ones I remember when the temptress is whispering in my ear.

I'm strong, but this takes work. This isn't easy. It's damn near the simplest thing I've ever done, but damn near the hardest as well. Thank you KTC. Without my brothers/sisters in quit, I would have caved each and every day this week, and been right back where I started. Today, I am 7 days in, nic free, $40 to the better, and on a one-way hi-speed train to Quitsville. Not today and not ever, even if it's a battle each and every day.

J2thaZ

Yo bro- I know you are going hard core quit ninja around the house, but next time you are on a long drive or out with the boys, you got to bring some fakey out wth you. Hooch
I think spitfire fine cut is kind of like cope. I am a big fan.
Wintergreen rough cut is balls on for Kodiak, which was my death can of choice.
I always kind of liked having something to do, oral fixation, etc.
Anything you might be missing about chew, you can get from the hooch. It just isn't full of addictive poison, and won't kill you.

Thanks Lip. Some of the Sultans and I were texting earlier and we're weighing the pros and cons of fake. I think for the first little while it might be beneficial to get thru that ridiculous daydream.

Anything to keep the turd outta my mouth. I'm good. Almost thru day 7 and I'm already fired up to post my 8 tomorrow.

[Lipizzaner]

Confession of a Nic Addict Vol. I

Today is day 7, and so far so good in the grand scheme of things. The craves aren't as intense, and they've become less frequent. Winning, right? The problem is I haven't learned to hate it yet. I hate it periodically, sure. In fact, most of the time I hate the weed. However, every once in awhile I find myself daydreaming about the burn. I sensationalize the rush/buzz I would get and the feeling of the spitter in my hand on a long drive. The satisfying thump of a well-packed can. I don't hate it with every atom of my being yet like each and every vet still preaching here.

I should have prefaced this post with the idea that the reader should not fear that this BAMF is shaky in his quit. I am not. My quit is strong. I have TMTLF to cave at this point. It is simply worth noting that this seductress is clever. She blocks out the awful things: cancer, gum disease, losing teeth, bad breath, financial drain, smelly fingers (not in the good way), bailing on one's family, lying, sneaking, selling out, hiding.... None of those things are the ones I remember when the temptress is whispering in my ear.

I'm strong, but this takes work. This isn't easy. It's damn near the simplest thing I've ever done, but damn near the hardest as well. Thank you KTC. Without my brothers/sisters in quit, I would have caved each and every day this week, and been right back where I started. Today, I am 7 days in, nic free, $40 to the better, and on a one-way hi-speed train to Quitsville. Not today and not ever, even if it's a battle each and every day.

J2thaZ

Yo bro- I know you are going hard core quit ninja around the house, but next time you are on a long drive or out with the boys, you got to bring some fakey out wth you. Hooch
I think spitfire fine cut is kind of like cope. I am a big fan.
Wintergreen rough cut is balls on for Kodiak, which was my death can of choice.
I always kind of liked having something to do, oral fixation, etc.
Anything you might be missing about chew, you can get from the hooch. It just isn't full of addictive poison, and won't kill you.

[J2thaZ]

Confession of a Nic Addict Vol. I

Today is day 7, and so far so good in the grand scheme of things. The craves aren't as intense, and they've become less frequent. Winning, right? The problem is I haven't learned to hate it yet. I hate it periodically, sure. In fact, most of the time I hate the weed. However, every once in awhile I find myself daydreaming about the burn. I sensationalize the rush/buzz I would get and the feeling of the spitter in my hand on a long drive. The satisfying thump of a well-packed can. I don't hate it with every atom of my being yet like each and every vet still preaching here.

I should have prefaced this post with the idea that the reader should not fear that this BAMF is shaky in his quit. I am not. My quit is strong. I have TMTLF to cave at this point. It is simply worth noting that this seductress is clever. She blocks out the awful things: cancer, gum disease, losing teeth, bad breath, financial drain, smelly fingers (not in the good way), bailing on one's family, lying, sneaking, selling out, hiding.... None of those things are the ones I remember when the temptress is whispering in my ear.

I'm strong, but this takes work. This isn't easy. It's damn near the simplest thing I've ever done, but damn near the hardest as well. Thank you KTC. Without my brothers/sisters in quit, I would have caved each and every day this week, and been right back where I started. Today, I am 7 days in, nic free, $40 to the better, and on a one-way hi-speed train to Quitsville. Not today and not ever, even if it's a battle each and every day.

J2thaZ