My handle is like my mind - incomprehensible.

[Coach Steve]

Congrats on the HOF! The first milestone in your quit. Quit like fuck with you today!

[Souliman]

100 days...congratulations bud. That's excellent shit right there.

Glad you're here man.

[jrws]

Jrws no worries you have nothing to hide. Weather you dip or smoke or how ever you got your nic fix we are all here to quit. Lots of people here smoke as well as dip so you should not feel the way you do. You are a great quitter and an honest person it has been my pleasure to get to know you more than your handle of Jrws. If you need anything you got my number brother im quit with you.

one more thing why do you hide all these awesome words in introductions this should be out for all to see and read. People should read your entire introduction page. Quit hiding this and post it in our August group.

Thanks brother. Yeah I posted it up there, on your advice, and I figure the intro page is good though too, since it doesn't get all lost in the mix. It is all about the congrats for the HOFs now on our board which is all good.Llike you man, GOOD JOB, with your quit and your fellowship, you are an understated role model. All right, have good weekend, I better go before the man love jokes start.

[woosel]

Jrws no worries you have nothing to hide. Weather you dip or smoke or how ever you got your nic fix we are all here to quit. Lots of people here smoke as well as dip so you should not feel the way you do. You are a great quitter and an honest person it has been my pleasure to get to know you more than your handle of Jrws. If you need anything you got my number brother im quit with you.

one more thing why do you hide all these awesome words in introductions this should be out for all to see and read. People should read your entire introduction page. Quit hiding this and post it in our August group.

[jrws]

Shit I am mad at myself. 95 days ago I quit smoking and started posting roll on this site. I took it on faith from a man I know in real life, who has a lot of sack, that this site would help me quit smoking, even though most people here are here to quit chew. I needed to keep things simple at first so I just avoided saying that while my drug of choice of the day was nicotine, same as you, my preferred method of ingestion was burning cancer sticks and inhaling deeply. I was careful, and I can look back at my posts, and I can see that I never lied. I dipped pouched snused snorted snuffed patched chewed cigars redman applejack cope kodiak and I also smoked buttless cigarettes like a damn fiend. Lucky strikes, camels, chesterfields, american spirits, pall malls, nat shermans and anything I could roll or snap the filter off of. I tried several times to quit or cut back and it never worked until I came here and did what people told me. I can also say that I feel like I had a secret, and that sometimes I feel a bit like a phony.

Last night I was craving badly, and I went on chat and I was saved from my cave for a few by a few good folks. I also ended up reading woosel's intro and damned if that man doesn't just come right out and say the thing I was AFRAID to say to you all: that I smoked, and I need help to stay quit. I guess I wanted to "fit-in" and so I also alienated myself. Now I think staying quit is going to mean staying in the middle of this community of quitters for more than 100 days, and I want to clear the air and get this off my chest. I woke up this morning, still quit, no caves, and wrote this up in gratitude. I hope this doesn't jeopardize anything for me or my quit or my quit bros and sisters. I do hope someone new here reads this someday so he or she starts out with the truth and doesn't carry the burden of a secret so important to their addiction for a day, let alone 95. Even if we use handles and stay somewhat anonymous, this IS real life too and one should keep it real.

Thanks for reading,
jrws

[jrws]

Cross-posting from a bitch-and-moan forum on day 85. Yeah I suck but so do you.

Eye of the hurricane; tropical paradise; surfing up a tsunami

Doing shit half-ass and calling it eighty-twenty.
Doing half-ass shit eighty percent of the time.
The rest of the time, doing tight work and watching it die on the vine.
Being so "transparent" you are fighting off your back round after round while the business end of business ground-and-pounds your ass.
Being so "agile" you have whiplash from the acute thrash being done each sprint.
Getting the save for your starter's shut-out play and then watching the rest of the rotation walk-in game winning runs the rest of the series.
Spending twenty percent of your time on a game-plan for the title shot and then finding out your are being usurped by some young punk with a more cutthroat agent, just like last time.
Spending the rest of your time training to grind out yet another fight on the undercard.
Breaking your damn hand grinding out a split-decision on that know-nothing lay-and-pray punk-ass bitch.
The difference between what your crew is expected to do, and what they are allowed to do.
Having a beer-belly and not drinking any fucking beer.
'bang head'

Oh well.
'flush'

The Supersonics are long gone but at least the Celtics ended up with Pierce. I left the Silicon Forest to be one of the New English, anyways. The talent here are mostly prudes but at least the local pros win championships for you.
'Sno'

[jrws]

(to someone from Vegas who quit the day i did, caved on day 40, and admitted it as many days later)

I only know two things about you, one is you joined the same day I did, I think. If that is true, I have no more experience with this than you, so I ask not talking down to you.

I do have a damn PHD in being a miserable addict. Lying, enslaved to some shit that makes a person feel and be "less than", risking your quality of life for no gain, and dumping the honor we all have within our reach for a self-delusion. I know that experience, and I think maybe you do too. This addict has made a mistress out of the most notorious drugs on earth, a "benign but deadly" one that they can still advertise on TV, and just about anything else I have emptied my mind for. Being an addict, and the soul-sucking that comes with it, is yours and mine forever, whatever form it takes. If you think I am blowing this out of proportion, that it its only a little dip, that it didn't happen that much, think of what it just had you do. I don't think if my wife caught me being unfaithful she would give a shit if I just put it in "a little", or if it was only a friend, or whatever. Whatever it was, it was stronger than me.

I never thought tobacco would be an addiction for me, and I am fucking surprised as hell at how hard it is to quit. With the strength of this group, the simplicity of posting roll when you wake up, honoring that act for the remaining day, having the humility to admit you are a full-fledged drug addict, and the courage to ask for/accept help when you need it- that is what, a four-step program? I know wet-brains and steal-from-mom methheads that make it through 12 step programs and come out on top. They work their program. I am working this one. With a little help from this group, I might make it today. Each day is an improvement over the last one, if only because I am a day farther from my last day of cheating myself this way.

If you have to make it more complicated: write an introduction, get some digits and text some other nicotine addict once a week whether you need to our not, read the whole intro site again if you have to, find a safe alternative, get into a sparring match with me, whatever. You don't have to do anything, but you gotta do better than you are doing.

I am not going to say kudos for sacking up and doing what you are supposed to do finally. I am gonna "anonymize" this and add it to my own intro page. I may need to use the sympathy I have for you to keep me from going down that road you did myself some day. After all, I am an addict, I can do what you did, easily, any day. _ jrws

[Wt57]

Life is bloody hard. Insomnia is bloody hard. My wife is awesome. My job is hard and awesome. My head is just plain hard. 'bang head' Ok, now it is bloody.

I never get a day already spent back to "do-over" if I blew it or "replay" if it was awesome- and life is short. I gotta make it count, each day.

Jr awesom post! My head is hard also! My wife is also
Awesome!! Stay close, stay strong and stay quit 1 day at a time!

[jrws]

Life is bloody hard. Insomnia is bloody hard. My wife is awesome. My job is hard and awesome. My head is just plain hard. 'bang head' Ok, now it is bloody.

I never get a day already spent back to "do-over" if I blew it or "replay" if it was awesome- and life is short. I gotta make it count, each day.

[jrws]

This Buddhist sutra has helped me turn the corner on many other problems in my life and has transformed me. I want to share it with my KTC brothers and sisters. It is helpful for me to remember that the only thing I have control over are my actions, and I think this sums that idea up succinctly.

The Five Remembrances
(from the Pali Canon)

I am of the nature to grow old;
There is no way to escape growing old.

I am of the nature to have ill health;
There is no way to escape having ill health.

I am of the nature to die;
There is no way to escape death.

All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature of change;
There is no way to escape being separated from them.
My deeds are my closest companions;
I am the beneficiary of my deeds;
My deeds are the ground on which I stand.

[jrws]

Artist in the Ambulance - Thrice

QUOTE
Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I feel an angel lift me up
And I open bloodshot eyes into fluorescent white
They flip the siren, hit the lights, close the doors and I am gone

Now I lay here owing my life to a stranger
And I realize that empty words are not enough
I'm left here with the question of just
What have I to show except the promises I never kept?
I lie here shaking on this bed, under the weight of my regrets

[Chorus:]
I hope that I will never let you down
I know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound

Look around and you'll see that at times it feels like no one really cares
It gets me down but I'm still gonna try to do what's right, I know that there's
A difference between sleight of hand, and giving everything you have
There's a line drawn in the sand, I'm working up the will to cross it and

[Chorus]

Rhetoric can't raise the dead
I'm sick of always talking when there's no change
Rhetoric can't raise the dead
I'm sick of empty words, let's lead and not follow

Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I feel an angel steal me from the
Greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands
They've given me a second chance, the artist in the ambulance

[Chorus]

Can we pick you off the ground, more than flashing lights and sound

[jrws]

Okay bitches...this guy works with me.

JR's a good man and I can literally see his ass from where I sit.

Why is he showing you his ass at work?

What the fuck do you guys do? :unsure:

We're the synchronized swim team "Thunder and Lightning".

I've seen you in the stands before NOLAQ...with your "I HEART THUNDER" shirt on. We appreciate your support. Thanks.

Look for our half-time show in next year's Super Bowl. We didn't have our shit together to qualify for the Olympics, but the routine will be badass by next February.

[Souliman]

Okay bitches...this guy works with me.

JR's a good man and I can literally see his ass from where I sit.

Why is he showing you his ass at work?

What the fuck do you guys do? :unsure:

We're the synchronized swim team "Thunder and Lightning".

I've seen you in the stands before NOLAQ...with your "I HEART THUNDER" shirt on. We appreciate your support. Thanks.

[Nolaq]

Okay bitches...this guy works with me.

JR's a good man and I can literally see his ass from where I sit.

Why is he showing you his ass at work?

What the fuck do you guys do? :unsure:

[jrws]

Best quotes:

"In the midst of a crave, Forever is not possible...Today is possible." - Another addict
"Life is short and if you're looking for extension, you had best do well. 'Cause there's good deeds and then there's good intentions. They are as far apart as Heaven and Hell." - Ben Harper
"No more" - Souliman
"Nobody Quits Tomorrow; We Can Only Quit Today!" - Keddy signature
"Not Now, Not Today! I am a Quit Man Day by Day. - Mthomas3824 signature
"Cavers find a way to cave. Quitters find a way to quit." another addict
"Now I can walk through walls and my quit can talk to god. That's right. Crazy voodoo magic quit" Souliman