Well guys here we are 74 days in, I can say I feel a little better and handling myself better. I started to eat right and not snack all the time lost around 30 pounds. Im transferring to Lawrence Tech in a month to play college lacrosse. Christmas is in 12 days, but I can't seem to find that spark of happiness I used to have. I'm battling depression and anxiety and its transferred into Depersonalization. It's going to be a long battle to be back to normal but I can do this. Got my Fam, Friends, The Dog House, and KTC behind me. Lets conquer the world.
-Smiff Out
Hey man the 70s were pretty shitty for me overall. Don't know what changed physiologically/psychologically over the past 10 days but I struggled a little more than normal.
Most annoying part of this quit for me is my fucking mouth waters... ALL THE TIME. It's to a point that I've wasted a few hours Googling wtf a over-watery mouth means only to arrive at no solution. Anyway, I have also noticed in the past 25 days or so that I am consuming more alcohol than I was before. Had kind of a slip up where my dumb ass blacked out this past weekend and it has been years since I have done that... so I am going to be thankful I got a little wake up call and had nothing bad to show from it other than a really terrible hangover.
Can't put one addiction to bed and develop a new one... that would be somewhat counterproductive I believe.
The struggle is fucking real my friend. Hang in there.
Amen jp, were so close to HOF I'm sure it'll be smooth sailing or easier once we get there.
You think that.
There are times in your quit that are more dangerous than others. We lose a ton of guys in the first week because the first week sucks. Those that aren't ready to quit or want to do it "their way" get taken out or disappear quickly. The next hurdle is in the 20s. You're feeling good in your quit but the need for "normalcy" starts to hit. Think about New Year's Resolutions to lose weight. Gyms are packed for the month of January but are ghost towns in February. It's when changes start to lose their luster and convenience can trump the hard work you've put in. It's also here that many get sick of the drama that is quitting. Quitting ain't always pretty. Funks will hit again in the 40s and 70s. These are just the cyclical nature of quitting. Quitting can be like a pendulum a lot of times where good times are followed by bad times with regularity.
Many quitters limp into the hall of fame thinking "Hey...I'm on day 100. I'm cured. I have all I need." and then disappear. It's the third most common take down point to the quitters here. The nic witch waits. She sees you cross the "finish line" and concedes her control. She wants you to know that you've won. She's a liar. She'll start tempting you hardcore indirectly. She'll tell you that you don't need this. You can enjoy a cigar. You weren't really that addicted. And then she'll hit you with a nasty funk right at 120.
Quitting isn't a decision. It's a decision and the follow-up. One of the hardest concepts to understand in quit is that the long term means nothing. It's right now. We don't get through this moment and we won't see tomorrow. Don't look forward to good times dictated by arbitrary numbers. Know that you're quit and know what you've done to get quit. Keep doing that (posting roll, keeping your word, and repeating). Some days, you're going to need this board more than others. That's ok. Sometimes, you won't. That's ok too. The important thing is to know that you need to pursue quit and pursuing your quit means posting roll, keeping your word, and repeating. That's all I know. That's all I ask.
Sometimes it's hard to see the forest from the trees. You've come so far from your first days quit. The pain now sucks but it pales in comparison to day 2. Never again man. You're so much closer to that resting pendulum than you were yesterday.
