I got a couple of messages from cmay and john so I need to tell you guys what I did so you don’t repeat my mistakes and waste any more of you time worrying about my sorry ass. I caved Saturday. Not really from any triggers but more that I just felt like having a dip. Sounds terrible but that’s the truth. I actually bought the can after I saw the doctor Wednesday but didn’t open it. Thursday I opened it but just took a whiff. Friday I posted roll, I promised not to dip that day, so I didn’t. Then Saturday I didn’t post and caved. I had #’s but didn’t use them because I didn’t want to be stopped. For whatever reason my quit became harder the further into it I got. Maybe that was just my addict mind lying to me but that’s how it felt. Another lie running through my head is “your fine so just do it a little longer and then quit”. My plan of using fake dip sucked because it kind of felt like I never quit. I still had the spitter all the time so it really didn’t feel like I had made much of a change. I also had #’s, the website, and even facebook contacts but didn’t use them. My plan execution was poor to say the least. If you notice on my profile, I joined this site in November of ’09 but I never posted until July. This is because I didn’t want to post until I was sure I could commit. Obviously I was wrong. I’m too weak to post right now. I can’t post and cave again because this site can’t lose its meaning to me. It’s the only thing that’s helped quit for even one day since I started dipping. I’m posting this on my introduction page because I can’t post roll today. I’m going to post roll again and hopefully it won’t be too late. But if it is, I guess I deserve whatever I get. Believe me, I know I’m a piece of shit for what I did. So hopefully I didn’t ruin any one else’s quit.