You guys rock - thanks a ton for the immediate and overwhelming support. I told my wife that I got bitched out online and had to stop the gum given how convincing everyone is, and then she was concerned about the cash I had spent on the gum ($40). Didn't have the heart to tell her that was only a week of dip.
Anyway, I went and bought some polar ice gum, bought a couple of new CDs to listen to, have some water, and a bunch of fruit. Here's to a long(er) life and freedom from the mud. Am I supposed to update this every day?