In light of all of the stuff that's been going on starting at the end of June with the whole loot departure and then the fallout between my quit group and the mods / admins, I figured I'd put another entry into my introduction thread. This may or may not help anybody, but it'll be here for me to come back to and read when I feel the need.
During the last 192 days since I quit using tobacco, one thing has been constant on this site. That constant is that nothing is really constant. Day to day things might appear to be the same, but over time you see just how different things are today than they were just a week ago, or even yesterday. For example, between me posting roll this morning and then my next visit to the site, about a dozen more people had posted roll in May '14. During that time, two long term members of May bumped other members. I fixed them both, but that is neither here nor there. In the span of less than an hour, dozens of new posts popped up today. Numbers changed by a value of plus one from all of the various numbers posted yesterday. This board is constantly changing. That's on the molecular level, but wait there is more. On a much larger scale, things are changing all the time too. Quitters join our ranks every day, quitters fall off our rolls every day. Stalwart quitters like Loot and company totally abandon ship and leave all they've known about quitting for nearly a decade, literally overnight in a great big epileptic seizure style temper tantrum. Wedge goes from posting every day with May '14 to just fucking disappearing, only come back and say, yeah, I've been gone a while, then to disappear again. Lipi and Sapper's feud goes from the verge of the third world war to the two of them being quit brothers in solidarity against half assed cavers, then sapper drops off for a while and then comes raging back against November. May as a whole goes from being the "darling" quit group of the KTC admin / mods to being the subject of severe mistrust and concern about perceived actions of impropriety such as creating fictitious user names and blaming admins of doing the same. Again, everything changes, and not just a little bit, but drastically. The ebb and sway of the tide of change within KTC are violent and turbulent. If you don't climb out and stand upon the shores for a little bit, you'll get so caught up in the rise and fall of the waves of change that you can easily get sucked under and swept out to sea.
But in all that change, in all that chaos and turbulence, there is a constant. That constant is the core group of quitters with whom you make your way through these rough waters. That group is formed early on in the quit fog, and forged through continuous daily interaction. Think about it, some of us have probably communicated more with our quit brothers in the past 6 months (for those of us in May) than our own wives or kids. Is that right? Who knows, some psychologists would probably have a field day analyzing mayhem's antics, but it is what it is, and we remain steadfast in our resolve to remain quit. It is for this reason that we don't easily accept new quitters in and amongst our tightest inner circle, which for those of us in May consists ONLY of others in May. We allows others into the second or third order circles, but the innermost is reserved for those of us who forged this ring together. The point is that the constant is the quit group. This is why when a member of that quit group caves, it's devastating to the rest of the inner circle members, because the constant has been violated. Now, nothing is stable, everything is in flux. The board continues to be a torrent of waves crashing and capsized ships. The survivors have to band together with fewer members than they had just a day prior. The shipwrecked crew is shrinking and stability must be reestablished.
Brotha. I hear what your saying. Things change. I had an entire speech written (in my mind) for when I hit one year. Now with the big shake down that's happened, some of my core quit beliefs have changed. People I stood with are gone. Trust has been shaken. It's now almost as if I stand here alone. The vets that have remained tell me that quit groups are always evolving. Changing. After a while its like we've walked far enough that we are able to stand on our own regardless of who remains with us. And I guess actually that's simply a sign of maturity. I can definitely grab a hold of that theory. Proud to be Quit with you.
I'll batten down the hatches and QLF with you Sap. Come hell or high water...we are quit.
Doc in a way illustrates my point. We truly do Quit together but along the way, those that have promised to be your quit brother will cave, fade away, disappear, or what ever. I'm not directing this at doc or anyone else personally but there is a perfect saying that should be a belt holding up every britches of Quit here. This is it : "I quit with you, but I came here for me". When things change, people are gone, etc, ultimately we came here to be Quit and nothing and nobody should be allowed to come between us and our goal.
In this fight, when it comes down to it, the only thing we allow to stand in the way of our goal is ourselves.
Pssssst.......That is why we have each other and why we are here. We were never strong enough to quit on our own, and left to our own devices that is why so many will fail when they leave.
I know the following to be true: God gave me free will; the power of choice. I choose to quit today. I choose to quit with you Brother, to quit with you Sister, to quit with KTC.
I must continue in this Brotherhood. If you move on, I will have to make new friends, find new Brothers and Sisters. Why? Because, if I donÂ’tÂ…wellÂ…you know how it ends. I have already read our story.
We are not a unique and special butterflies. We are a drug addicts.
I like Scowick. The dude just lays it out and stays on task.
this thread made my day, well done Sapper, quit with you any day amigo!
Yes this site is in constant flux. But I know this. I will stay here as long as there is at least one other quitter like Sapper to lean on. I tried quitting by myself, for others, hundreds of times and was never successful. I'm proud to be quit with you Sapper from out here in the 3rd or 4th Circle.
Thanks guys. I appreciate all of you. I don't often post "I quit with so and so" because quite frankly, there are so many people that support me and that I respect and I can't put them all in my roll posts every day, and I can't remember the list, so I should say, when I put my name on roll, it is with everybody who is quit and takes their quit seriously every day. In my HOF speech, I specifically mentioned a bunch of people, funny thing is now that list is outdated, there are new quitters like schaef who would be on it if I were writing it again and old quitters who I never previously interacted with like gmann and wastepanel who would be on it now. There are also some who made the list but I wouldn't feel guilty about removing now, like loot. But it is what it is. It's a snapshot of my quit in time.
