BNSF,
Hey man, we are all here with you and we completely understand where you are right now. If it helps to know you're not alone, please read
my intro here. I suffered from the whole extreme gamut of anxiety and depression, complete with full-blown panic and daily crying fits.
I also refused to even consider meds, despite everyone suggesting I try them, and guess what: I'm totally stable now and have been since just before the new year. No drugs for me. Not then, not now, not ever.
You will get better, my friend. You are now committed to your quit and there is no turning back. You will experience hell, and then one day the sky will open up and you will be free. I promise.
Sam