Hello fellow Quitters,
I am currently on day twenty of the battle for my life to remain Nic free. I have not posted much in my intro section because I love to spend time reading other posts, offering feedback, and going to the chat to goof off, pass time, and offer help when necessary.
With that being said, I wanted to take this time to write some thoughts, praises, observations, incites, and whatever else came to mind since I decided to make this change. I have a tendency to go in circles so please forgive me.
The last 3 to 3 ½ years have been somewhat of an overwhelming time in my life. My second son was born, I switched employers, my Master’s program went full speed ahead, and other periodic uncontrollable variables simply impacted my life. Hence, 3 years or so ago, I allowed the temptress to convince me She was the answer to my problems. I allowed Nic to play with my mind as I entertained her temptations. I became complacent, comfortable, and for lack of a better word an “IDIOT.”
See, as mentioned in my intro I started dipping around 13/14years old. I dipped to the age of 27 when I stopped for about 3 to 3 ½ yrs and then chose to use again like an IDIOT thinking “one won’t hurt.” The changes and stress in life grabbed me as I was not prepared to deal with the changes.
Well, I am here today saying this site has brought a strength and resolve to quit that was not there before. Of course I wanted to quit when I found this site, but this site has re-enforced the desire. It has normalized the challenges associated with Nic “fits”. It has produced a sense of belonging, commitment, loyalty, and even competition that I did not have in my corner before.
On Saturday, July 13, 2013 I was playing in a softball tournament. This was my first experience around that many people flaunting the Nic in various forms. I knew it would be that way and I was concerned but I wanted to play. Therefore, I knew I needed to take some precautionary measures to prevent my use and maintain a support system.
Well, this was the easiest thing to do. Why, because of this site. There are numerous guys willing and ready to fit for you if you will allow them too. If you extend the need they will try to fill it. Seanz68, The Sweetness, Jeff24 all sent me messages on Saturday checking on my status. Seanz68 and I set up a schedule earlier in the week regarding times to text each other on Saturday to help us stay strong. I simply sent Jeff24 and The Sweetness texts on Saturday morning and they jumped on board to assist a brother. That is freakin awesome!!!! The three guys were willing to give me time on their Saturday to help me remained QUIT. They barely know me but they still offered it. Heck, The Sweetness started to text me at 10:00am and the final check-in was around 1:00am. Even though I got home around 8PM he continued to touch base. I canÂ’t express enough gratitude and respect for all three of these gents.
You know why it was so important? Because, I was around Nic and beer all day. I even drank a few beers but the temptation to use the nic was minimal due to my fellow Duck FIP’s caring about me and my Quit. I had cigarettes sitting next to me but I am not much of a smoker. The real challenge was watching guys pack the lip all day long. I even had a can of dip 4 or 5 inches away multiple times. I told my teammates not to give me any dip under any circumstances. One mate, jokingly asked me if I wanted one around midday. I simply replied, “Real funny you FUCKING JACKOFF!”
Here is the point. There were only a couple times the crave kicked in. These times were easy to beat because my fellow DUCK FIPÂ’S were backing me up all day long. It wasnÂ’t just me against the Nic Bitch. It was me and Seanz68, Jeff 24, and The Sweetness kickin her ass all day. Four against one is way better odds in my book.
Guys, I want to Thank You again for your support! Yes, I write this to express my gratitude. However, I also write this to make it clear for some people the help is there. Use it! Stop being a bunch of fearful fairy bitches and reach out. Hell yes I am scared to let these guys and all the other members down. Shit, it has been a pattern if my life. But damn it, allowing this fear (which is the addiction talking) to control the friendships I make on this site and reduce the strength of my quit due to isolation is idiotic. Just as idiotic as when I let Nic play me 3 ½ yrs ago. Not any more you damn pain in the ass!
Get your numbers out there and check in with each other periodically just because you care about your quit and their quit. Periodic checks with each other now will make it easier when the time comes that it is really needed. Well, sorry for the poor grammar but I am not proof reading this. I hope this is convicting for someone and they reach out. Take your life back each day. I QUIT WITH EACH AND ALL OF YOU TODAY! DUCK FIPÂ’S KICK ASS!