Quit Monday June 25, 2012

[CleanFuel]

Diary Of A Madman
Day 153

I have been in the woods for the past three days on the first hunting trip of the year. I thought that I was way past having craves. I apparently am not. What a huge trigger sitting in the middle of no where, by yourself with nothing to do but sit still and be quiet is. I have always used the time as kind of a meditation time. Thinking about things that have been going right or going wrong in my life. Reflecting on things I should have done different. Things I plan to do different in the future. So on and so forth. So, what did I learn? That I can overcome the cravings, and I do not have to stop doing the things I love to do, in fear of that nasty bitch. Through my meditation, I won another victory today. You will not beat me, fucking ever.....

I knew that this weekend was going to be a challenge. My hunting partner dips a can and a half to two cans of grizzly a day. He won't stop, I didn't ask him to not dip this weekend. I knew it would be a selfish thing to ask, and I know how I would have responded 154 days ago. And, I know that I am bigger than a cave. I know my quit is strong enough to move fucking mountains. I know that I will not allow myself the easy way out. I will not ever put that shit in my body, never again. I will keep crossing milestones, and I will continue to fucking win these small battles. For that, my brothers and sisters, is how you win wars. One small victory at a time. I thank God for my victories....I thank KTC for my quit.

MADMAN quitting with all you bitches...today, and every day.

Out-FUCKING-standing brother!!!

[jaginvest]

Diary Of A Madman
Day 153

I have been in the woods for the past three days on the first hunting trip of the year. I thought that I was way past having craves. I apparently am not. What a huge trigger sitting in the middle of no where, by yourself with nothing to do but sit still and be quiet is. I have always used the time as kind of a meditation time. Thinking about things that have been going right or going wrong in my life. Reflecting on things I should have done different. Things I plan to do different in the future. So on and so forth. So, what did I learn? That I can overcome the cravings, and I do not have to stop doing the things I love to do, in fear of that nasty bitch. Through my meditation, I won another victory today. You will not beat me, fucking ever.....

I knew that this weekend was going to be a challenge. My hunting partner dips a can and a half to two cans of grizzly a day. He won't stop, I didn't ask him to not dip this weekend. I knew it would be a selfish thing to ask, and I know how I would have responded 154 days ago. And, I know that I am bigger than a cave. I know my quit is strong enough to move fucking mountains. I know that I will not allow myself the easy way out. I will not ever put that shit in my body, never again. I will keep crossing milestones, and I will continue to fucking win these small battles. For that, my brothers and sisters, is how you win wars. One small victory at a time. I thank God for my victories....I thank KTC for my quit.

MADMAN quitting with all you bitches...today, and every day.

[Grizzly25]

Diary Of a MADMAN
Day 150

Kick start your shit, everyday. Then make every calculated move to stand by your promise and not let your brothers down. If you can't do that, well what good are you. It's pretty damn simple: I promise I won't use, I will do anything with in my power to keep that promise. Nothing else in your day is as important. If you think for one milli-second that you are going to FUCK THAT UP, you need to reach out. We will get you on roll, we will keep you quit. Until the time that you can maintain your quit, and pay that shit forward.

Yes, the steps are easy. No, the journey is not. But it is the most worthwhile shit you will ever do. I just woke up and hit HOF and a Fucking Half. More than enough motivation to push through the day. I WANT to see the challenges coming my way, so I can shoot that bitch down from the sky, then stomp the fucking life out of her ass!

All fucking day, I fucking quit, with every fucking one of you MADMEN! Bring the best you got bitch, we will not waiver, we will not faulter. All you will get is a one of a kind, MADMAN Quit put all over your sorry ass. I am with all my accountability partners, and will do anything for you...just ask. I am FULL ON QLAFM.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, and remember to say thanks and say a prayer for our military and Public Service (Sheriff, Police, Fire, EMS, etc) for being out on the front line, kicking ass and taking names so that others can be with their families, safe and sound, to enjoy this holiday...

AWESOME!!!!

Keep up the true badass quit brother you are now and will continue to be a inspiration to others, showing them in fact this can be done!

[jaginvest]

Diary Of a MADMAN
Day 150

Kick start your shit, everyday. Then make every calculated move to stand by your promise and not let your brothers down. If you can't do that, well what good are you. It's pretty damn simple: I promise I won't use, I will do anything with in my power to keep that promise. Nothing else in your day is as important. If you think for one milli-second that you are going to FUCK THAT UP, you need to reach out. We will get you on roll, we will keep you quit. Until the time that you can maintain your quit, and pay that shit forward.

Yes, the steps are easy. No, the journey is not. But it is the most worthwhile shit you will ever do. I just woke up and hit HOF and a Fucking Half. More than enough motivation to push through the day. I WANT to see the challenges coming my way, so I can shoot that bitch down from the sky, then stomp the fucking life out of her ass!

All fucking day, I fucking quit, with every fucking one of you MADMEN! Bring the best you got bitch, we will not waiver, we will not faulter. All you will get is a one of a kind, MADMAN Quit put all over your sorry ass. I am with all my accountability partners, and will do anything for you...just ask. I am FULL ON QLAFM.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, and remember to say thanks and say a prayer for our military and Public Service (Sheriff, Police, Fire, EMS, etc) for being out on the front line, kicking ass and taking names so that others can be with their families, safe and sound, to enjoy this holiday...

[jaginvest]

Diary Of A Madman

Day 149-So tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. I have plenty to be thankful for, but tomorrow is different for me now. To me, tomorrow is Day 150. Everyday has a name now, not just the holidays.

Everyday is a lifetime now. From the time I wake up till the time I go to sleep, a lifetime. Each day, it's own. Yesterday is gone, a lifetime away. So fuck it. Tomorrow will bring it's own worries and challenges. But, it is a lifetime away, so again, fuck it. Today's lifetime will throw it's bullshit my way, but I look forward to hitting it head on and saying, "You have no part in this, bitch. I am just fine without you. You do not control my response. Fuck you."

Each day, I find a way to re-new my quit. Just for today. Usually, it comes from reading a post that someone shared on this site. It keeps me coming back. Helps me through each "lifetime". Day 149, still 100% Roll Call. It will not change.

October '12 has dwindled in numbers over the past 50 days. We are down to less than 1/3 of the people that started this journey. We have lost 9 Post HOF. Over the past few days, I have sent numerous texts out to brothers that have missed roll for more than 1 day. I have gotten several responses, got a few to ask me to post for them, and had a few get up and get themselves on roll. One has not responded in any way after 3 texts.

So, what is this rant truly about? Take part in your "lifetime" daily. Start it with a promise to yourself, and to the rest of us, that you will kick that bitch in the teeth. Today. Fuck yesterday, fuck tomorrow. "I WILL NOT GIVE IN TODAY. I WILL FACE EACH AND EVERY CHALLENGE THAT COMES MY WAY TODAY WITH A MADMAN ATTITUDE AND WITHOUT NICOTINE!"

Take charge of your quit, don't wait for someone to check up on you. If you know you cant post roll, text me. 770-846-9182. Or someone else. I will find a fucking way to get you on here. YOU need to initiate it, it's your quit. A simple text, can make all the difference when today slings it's bullshit your way...are you truly willing to do anything to stay quit if you can't send a text to a brother? --QLAFM

[Morgan1]

So here I be....145 days quit. Haven't posted in my intro in quite a while. Read everyone else's, but havent been on mine. After reading SirDerek's new entry this morning, I feel I am being drawn back to these posts as well.

There have been so many accomplishments in the last 145 days, there is no way that I could possibly go back and list them all. So, what I think I will do is start from this point, and try and post once or twice a week to keep a running list. I think I will call it, "Diary of a MADMAN".

Sitting here thinking about that, I am stoked about having my first Thanksgiving dinner with my family without having to stuff shit in my mouth. No blue Solo cup stuffed with paper towels after the big meal. As soon as we are done eating, I will be headed to the woods for 5 days to hunt deer and pig. My first sit in a deer stand without "the bitch". I cant fucking wait! I love my new "first times".

Rock on Bitches, keep your quit close and never give up. Get your asses on roll, and reach out when you need to.  QLAFM

Madmen all day every day..... proud of you man

'clap'

Jag in effect! As badass a quitter as there is on the site. Listen to what he has to say.....

[SirDerek]

So here I be....145 days quit. Haven't posted in my intro in quite a while. Read everyone else's, but havent been on mine. After reading SirDerek's new entry this morning, I feel I am being drawn back to these posts as well.

There have been so many accomplishments in the last 145 days, there is no way that I could possibly go back and list them all. So, what I think I will do is start from this point, and try and post once or twice a week to keep a running list. I think I will call it, "Diary of a MADMAN".

Sitting here thinking about that, I am stoked about having my first Thanksgiving dinner with my family without having to stuff shit in my mouth. No blue Solo cup stuffed with paper towels after the big meal. As soon as we are done eating, I will be headed to the woods for 5 days to hunt deer and pig. My first sit in a deer stand without "the bitch". I cant fucking wait! I love my new "first times".

Rock on Bitches, keep your quit close and never give up. Get your asses on roll, and reach out when you need to. QLAFM

Madmen all day every day..... proud of you man

'clap'

[jaginvest]

So here I be....145 days quit. Haven't posted in my intro in quite a while. Read everyone else's, but havent been on mine. After reading SirDerek's new entry this morning, I feel I am being drawn back to these posts as well.

There have been so many accomplishments in the last 145 days, there is no way that I could possibly go back and list them all. So, what I think I will do is start from this point, and try and post once or twice a week to keep a running list. I think I will call it, "Diary of a MADMAN".

Sitting here thinking about that, I am stoked about having my first Thanksgiving dinner with my family without having to stuff shit in my mouth. No blue Solo cup stuffed with paper towels after the big meal. As soon as we are done eating, I will be headed to the woods for 5 days to hunt deer and pig. My first sit in a deer stand without "the bitch". I cant fucking wait! I love my new "first times".

Rock on Bitches, keep your quit close and never give up. Get your asses on roll, and reach out when you need to. QLAFM

[jaginvest]

As I look back through history, there seems to be a very common theme among cavers. "I was drinking pretty heavy..." or "We were partying like crazy...." or "We were at the bar..." or "I was hanging out with a bunch of buddies that dip and...." or " I was on a fishing boat". The rest blame the cave on the wife or work or some other outside force. In other words, someone elses actions made me dip. Horseshit. Don't put it in your mouth. Stop looking for an excuse to use or an excuse to justify your piss poor decision and your pussy ass actions.

There is always debate on the site about why we cave or why we dipped/chewed or how bad we had it as kids or little green men making us pack our lip full of shit. Just about every cave story I have read, the caver was participating in risky behavior, mostly drinking. If you know that alcohol may affect your decision to stay quit, don't fucking drink. It's a choice. If you can't hang out with a friend because there is a possibility you will cave, then stay home. It's a choice. If he don't understand, then he ain't your friend anyway. You can't smoke a cigar or a cigarette to ward off a cave. You already caved. When we decide to quit, it is a lifestyle change. Either you are willing, or you are not.

My Bro Eric71 always talks about "Have a Plan for the Weekend". He is 100% spot fucking on. Maybe, when you are creating your plan for the weekend, it should consist of the things you are NOT going to do rather than the things you are.... I am not going to get shitfaced drunk, I am not going to go to the bar, I am not going to hang out with people that may influence my decisions, I am not going to go to the casino, etc... if you are willing to do these things knowing the may spur a cave, then do you really care about your quit???

Either use, or don't. It is a choice. The shit ain't easy, but ultimately, you choose. Get your ass on roll, and stick to it. Stay away from the behavior that will ultimately cause you to fail. The only behavior that works is promise us one day, fucking live up to it. Do it again tomorrow. Are you MADMAN enough to change your life?? I am.......

[kana]

Here I sit, 20 days out....

First, I would like to apologize to October '12. I have been quiet for several weeks, after taking some lumps over differences in opinion with some other quitters. I never let it get in the way of posting roll, and have maintained 100%. However, I have not given you 100% for your quits. I have not been as good as I was when we first started this journey together. I let bullshit get in the way.....

Next, I would like to encourage everyone to go to HOF Speeches and read some of the amazing stories and experiences in those posts. I read one this morning that restarted my Fucking MADMAN! Morgan1, thank you for your in your face, intense, BADASS Quit. Thanks for energizing me and hitting me right between the fucking eyes, right when I needed it.

Next, thank you to all the people that supported me during my rants and confrontation with a certain quitter. Also, thank you to the people that criticized me and attacked me during the same confrontation. You and Morgan1 solidified my Quit Resolve.

Finally, to the Quitter that was the subject of controversy, thank you for your persistence. You have proven yourself to all of us, and you are doing amazing work. Quit On brother, I am with you. Funny thing is, I was with you in your quit the minute you came back, yet some people could not see that. You did, and we exchanged numbers that night. All they could see or say was I didn't have enough "time in quit" to be critical of another quitter, didn't matter if my comments were right or wrong. They were supportive of my quit until I went against who they thought I should be. I was their Golden Boy until I went against what they wanted. Well, here I am with 80 days and you with 50. Fuck them....

There, it is off my chest. Now let's get to the business at hand. The past is the past, which is in fact why we are all here..........

exactly.. the piss ol past. I can't remember who it was on hear told me: Just worry about your own quit. don't worry about there's. Your quitting for yourself.

[jaginvest]

Here I sit, 20 days out....

First, I would like to apologize to October '12. I have been quiet for several weeks, after taking some lumps over differences in opinion with some other quitters. I never let it get in the way of posting roll, and have maintained 100%. However, I have not given you 100% for your quits. I have not been as good as I was when we first started this journey together. I let bullshit get in the way.....

Next, I would like to encourage everyone to go to HOF Speeches and read some of the amazing stories and experiences in those posts. I read one this morning that restarted my Fucking MADMAN! Morgan1, thank you for your in your face, intense, BADASS Quit. Thanks for energizing me and hitting me right between the fucking eyes, right when I needed it.

Next, thank you to all the people that supported me during my rants and confrontation with a certain quitter. Also, thank you to the people that criticized me and attacked me during the same confrontation. You and Morgan1 solidified my Quit Resolve.

Finally, to the Quitter that was the subject of controversy, thank you for your persistence. You have proven yourself to all of us, and you are doing amazing work. Quit On brother, I am with you. Funny thing is, I was with you in your quit the minute you came back, yet some people could not see that. You did, and we exchanged numbers that night. All they could see or say was I didn't have enough "time in quit" to be critical of another quitter, didn't matter if my comments were right or wrong. They were supportive of my quit until I went against who they thought I should be. I was their Golden Boy until I went against what they wanted. Well, here I am with 80 days and you with 50. Fuck them....

There, it is off my chest. Now let's get to the business at hand. The past is the past, which is in fact why we are all here..........

[Grizzly25]

For 32 days, I intentionally did not go to "my store" for anything. The C-store that I have bought at least 10 cans of Skoal a week for about 9 years. Everyone has told me to "guard my quit", that was on of the ways I did it. I even got gas at the grocery store.

     Today, armed with a list of shit to do around the house as long as my leg, I went to said store for some beers and some gas for the lawn mower. Thought it would be a simple in and out. I go in, go to the cooler, grab a 12 and report to the cashier. And there the bitch was. Holy shit, she was talking to me. The world went into slow motion. My eyes fixated on the Skoal Peach, my brand since 2006 due to Copenhagen fucking my gut up for 20+ years.

     I know this sounds like it's gonna be a bad scenario, but I want you all to know what happened next. The guy in front of me said to the clerk, "...and a can of Grizzly Wintergreen." His statement broke my fixation. I looked down at the counter to break my stare, and right in front of me was a display full of Grizzly Straight. The next thing that popped into my head was Griizzly25. He has been with me since the start. My mind immediatley went to Eric, and to Derek's suit of armor. I actually laughed, and said to myself, FUCK YOU BITCH, you almost got me. But I am stronger than you, and I have a band of brothers that I will not fail. I paid for my Yeungling and 10 dollars worth of gas and left the store.

    As I pumped gas, the next thought I had was CleanFuel. From the start, he told me this day was coming. He told me 2 months, probably as far as I would get. I wanted to hunt his ass down and fuck him up. How dare you tell me I can't do this, you don't even fucking know me. I think I actually called him a tool. Today, he is a huge part of my support group.

     The rest of the day, all of you have consumed my thoughts. As I was cutting the grass, weed eating, blowing, etc. The vets, the noobs, the MADMEN and the QLF Crew. I just wanted to tell each of you, once again, you saved my life today and I know that you will be there tomorrow as well. I also want each of you to know that I will be there for you.

     Thank you KTC and the Brotherhood. QLAFM

No, thank you Chuck Norris.

Seriously good stuff brother. We truly never know how vital the bond we share through fighting an addiction is until we come face to face with said addiction. It is in those times, exactly like you said, that we think of those who have walked the road with us. It is in the precise moment that we reach the tipping point that our resolve is strengthened and our commitment is hardened against the wilting power of the bitch.

Proud to be QLAFM with you and the rest of our crew today.

That is what quitting is about!!
Jag I'll stand by you anytime!

Great and awesome quitness!!!

Keep the resolve and determination brother!

[Wt57]

For 32 days, I intentionally did not go to "my store" for anything. The C-store that I have bought at least 10 cans of Skoal a week for about 9 years. Everyone has told me to "guard my quit", that was on of the ways I did it. I even got gas at the grocery store.

    Today, armed with a list of shit to do around the house as long as my leg, I went to said store for some beers and some gas for the lawn mower. Thought it would be a simple in and out. I go in, go to the cooler, grab a 12 and report to the cashier. And there the bitch was. Holy shit, she was talking to me. The world went into slow motion. My eyes fixated on the Skoal Peach, my brand since 2006 due to Copenhagen fucking my gut up for 20+ years.

    I know this sounds like it's gonna be a bad scenario, but I want you all to know what happened next. The guy in front of me said to the clerk, "...and a can of Grizzly Wintergreen." His statement broke my fixation. I looked down at the counter to break my stare, and right in front of me was a display full of Grizzly Straight. The next thing that popped into my head was Griizzly25. He has been with me since the start. My mind immediatley went to Eric, and to Derek's suit of armor. I actually laughed, and said to myself, FUCK YOU BITCH, you almost got me. But I am stronger than you, and I have a band of brothers that I will not fail. I paid for my Yeungling and 10 dollars worth of gas and left the store.

    As I pumped gas, the next thought I had was CleanFuel. From the start, he told me this day was coming. He told me 2 months, probably as far as I would get. I wanted to hunt his ass down and fuck him up. How dare you tell me I can't do this, you don't even fucking know me. I think I actually called him a tool. Today, he is a huge part of my support group.

    The rest of the day, all of you have consumed my thoughts. As I was cutting the grass, weed eating, blowing, etc. The vets, the noobs, the MADMEN and the QLF Crew. I just wanted to tell each of you, once again, you saved my life today and I know that you will be there tomorrow as well. I also want each of you to know that I will be there for you.

    Thank you KTC and the Brotherhood. QLAFM

No, thank you Chuck Norris.

Seriously good stuff brother. We truly never know how vital the bond we share through fighting an addiction is until we come face to face with said addiction. It is in those times, exactly like you said, that we think of those who have walked the road with us. It is in the precise moment that we reach the tipping point that our resolve is strengthened and our commitment is hardened against the wilting power of the bitch.

Proud to be QLAFM with you and the rest of our crew today.

That is what quitting is about!!
Jag I'll stand by you anytime!

[eric71]

For 32 days, I intentionally did not go to "my store" for anything. The C-store that I have bought at least 10 cans of Skoal a week for about 9 years. Everyone has told me to "guard my quit", that was on of the ways I did it. I even got gas at the grocery store.

Today, armed with a list of shit to do around the house as long as my leg, I went to said store for some beers and some gas for the lawn mower. Thought it would be a simple in and out. I go in, go to the cooler, grab a 12 and report to the cashier. And there the bitch was. Holy shit, she was talking to me. The world went into slow motion. My eyes fixated on the Skoal Peach, my brand since 2006 due to Copenhagen fucking my gut up for 20+ years.

I know this sounds like it's gonna be a bad scenario, but I want you all to know what happened next. The guy in front of me said to the clerk, "...and a can of Grizzly Wintergreen." His statement broke my fixation. I looked down at the counter to break my stare, and right in front of me was a display full of Grizzly Straight. The next thing that popped into my head was Griizzly25. He has been with me since the start. My mind immediatley went to Eric, and to Derek's suit of armor. I actually laughed, and said to myself, FUCK YOU BITCH, you almost got me. But I am stronger than you, and I have a band of brothers that I will not fail. I paid for my Yeungling and 10 dollars worth of gas and left the store.

As I pumped gas, the next thought I had was CleanFuel. From the start, he told me this day was coming. He told me 2 months, probably as far as I would get. I wanted to hunt his ass down and fuck him up. How dare you tell me I can't do this, you don't even fucking know me. I think I actually called him a tool. Today, he is a huge part of my support group.

The rest of the day, all of you have consumed my thoughts. As I was cutting the grass, weed eating, blowing, etc. The vets, the noobs, the MADMEN and the QLF Crew. I just wanted to tell each of you, once again, you saved my life today and I know that you will be there tomorrow as well. I also want each of you to know that I will be there for you.

Thank you KTC and the Brotherhood. QLAFM

No, thank you Chuck Norris.

Seriously good stuff brother. We truly never know how vital the bond we share through fighting an addiction is until we come face to face with said addiction. It is in those times, exactly like you said, that we think of those who have walked the road with us. It is in the precise moment that we reach the tipping point that our resolve is strengthened and our commitment is hardened against the wilting power of the bitch.

Proud to be QLAFM with you and the rest of our crew today.

[jaginvest]

For 32 days, I intentionally did not go to "my store" for anything. The C-store that I have bought at least 10 cans of Skoal a week for about 9 years. Everyone has told me to "guard my quit", that was on of the ways I did it. I even got gas at the grocery store.

Today, armed with a list of shit to do around the house as long as my leg, I went to said store for some beers and some gas for the lawn mower. Thought it would be a simple in and out. I go in, go to the cooler, grab a 12 and report to the cashier. And there the bitch was. Holy shit, she was talking to me. The world went into slow motion. My eyes fixated on the Skoal Peach, my brand since 2006 due to Copenhagen fucking my gut up for 20+ years.

I know this sounds like it's gonna be a bad scenario, but I want you all to know what happened next. The guy in front of me said to the clerk, "...and a can of Grizzly Wintergreen." His statement broke my fixation. I looked down at the counter to break my stare, and right in front of me was a display full of Grizzly Straight. The next thing that popped into my head was Griizzly25. He has been with me since the start. My mind immediatley went to Eric, and to Derek's suit of armor. I actually laughed, and said to myself, FUCK YOU BITCH, you almost got me. But I am stronger than you, and I have a band of brothers that I will not fail. I paid for my Yeungling and 10 dollars worth of gas and left the store.

As I pumped gas, the next thought I had was CleanFuel. From the start, he told me this day was coming. He told me 2 months, probably as far as I would get. I wanted to hunt his ass down and fuck him up. How dare you tell me I can't do this, you don't even fucking know me. I think I actually called him a tool. Today, he is a huge part of my support group.

The rest of the day, all of you have consumed my thoughts. As I was cutting the grass, weed eating, blowing, etc. The vets, the noobs, the MADMEN and the QLF Crew. I just wanted to tell each of you, once again, you saved my life today and I know that you will be there tomorrow as well. I also want each of you to know that I will be there for you.

Thank you KTC and the Brotherhood. QLAFM