The Whole Story

[steve1357]

Right now I feel like a fucking hipocrite. Trying to help others in their quit and I'm struggling mightily with my own. Day 39 and I feel like total shit. I can't concentrate. I haven't felt this bad in any of my quit days. The addict inside is giving me every excuse to cave. I'm hanging on by every inch of my being. Dammit, why did I ever introduce this shit to myself.

Miles, I just dug out my Intro page and this is the last time I wrote on it:

Lots of stress and anixity today. Cravings are much higher then normal.

Caving is not an option. I just want to reconfirm my quit and my promise.

Guess what day that was on? Day 36. That was the last major funk I have had. I am sure that more will come. But I got hit hard to right around the same time you did. Just get through today. It gets better, I promise.

[seagems]

Right now I feel like a fucking hipocrite. Trying to help others in their quit and I'm struggling mightily with my own. Day 39 and I feel like total shit. I can't concentrate. I haven't felt this bad in any of my quit days. The addict inside is giving me every excuse to cave. I'm hanging on by every inch of my being. Dammit, why did I ever introduce this shit to myself.

Just get through today Wo1miles. This tough time will pass but the addiction won't if you give in. Just get through today. This will pass, but you won't forgive yourself if you give in and you'll just be right back going through the suck again soon if you cave. The toughest part is over, just get through today and do you best to drink water, exercise, chew gum, whatever will help. This will pass.

[wo1miles]

Right now I feel like a fucking hipocrite. Trying to help others in their quit and I'm struggling mightily with my own. Day 39 and I feel like total shit. I can't concentrate. I haven't felt this bad in any of my quit days. The addict inside is giving me every excuse to cave. I'm hanging on by every inch of my being. Dammit, why did I ever introduce this shit to myself.

[Scowick65]

Day 39- List Time

Things my mind has said to me since I quit and my interpretations of each:

1. You'll stop sweating if you put in a dip.A. Dip raises blood pressure and makes you sweat more.
2. Your mind will stop wandering if you suck on some dirt.
A. My mind will still wander AND feel guilty about caving.
3. You'll sleep nice and sound with a fat wad.A. You'll wake up feeling like shit, mouth tasting like shit, and dehydrated.
4. Your ADHD (self-diagnosed) will disappear if you suck the skoal.A. I don't fucking have ADHD and if I did, nicotine isn't the cure...stop googling it.
5. You have plenty of time to quit...you're in Kuwait, fuck it, pinch the Cope.A. Being away from the family is the best time to quit.
6. You think you feel bad now, just wait for 6 months from now..it'll just get worse.A. It can't possibly get worse, and if it does, it's still better than jaw removal.
7. You can pinch and post roll, who the fucks gonna know.A. I'm going to know...and I can't believe I'm actually thinking that.
8. Your wife doesn't care that you've quit, she's not paying attention.A. My wife is sick of me telling her I'm quit when I'm not...time to shut up and do it for me alone.
9. Now that you've been dip free a while, your healed. Your gums, your addiction are better now. A dip a day won't hurt. Look, your friends can handle a cigarette here and there.A. Those friends are either 1) headed toward addiction, or 2) Ninja Smoking/Dipping. Law of Addiction states one will never be enough. I can never go back. I must replace nicotine with things that better my mind, my body and my relationships.
10. Give it up already, you know you'll be back.A. I've only came back in the past because I was too weak in the mind to admit to myself that nicotine doesn't have to be a part of every one of life's decisions. I now have the tools to be successful. I have my quit brothers and sisters, I have plenty of information to remind me if I lose my way, and I have my word. My word every single day that for just today, if I do nothing else, I stay nicotine free.

You have the attitude of a quitter

[AgLawyer]

8. Your wife doesn't care that you've quit, she's not paying attention.A. My wife is sick of me telling her I'm quit when I'm not...time to shut up and do it for me alone.

Dealt with same thing here. Told my wife so many times that I quit only for her to bust me in the lie. Now in my 70's and seeing me hop on the computer every morning to post roll she is starting to become a believer. Yours will too.

Good job staying quit - keep it up.

[wo1miles]

Day 39- List Time

Things my mind has said to me since I quit and my interpretations of each:

1. You'll stop sweating if you put in a dip.A. Dip raises blood pressure and makes you sweat more.
2. Your mind will stop wandering if you suck on some dirt.
A. My mind will still wander AND feel guilty about caving.
3. You'll sleep nice and sound with a fat wad.A. You'll wake up feeling like shit, mouth tasting like shit, and dehydrated.
4. Your ADHD (self-diagnosed) will disappear if you suck the skoal.A. I don't fucking have ADHD and if I did, nicotine isn't the cure...stop googling it.
5. You have plenty of time to quit...you're in Kuwait, fuck it, pinch the Cope.A. Being away from the family is the best time to quit.
6. You think you feel bad now, just wait for 6 months from now..it'll just get worse.A. It can't possibly get worse, and if it does, it's still better than jaw removal.
7. You can pinch and post roll, who the fucks gonna know.A. I'm going to know...and I can't believe I'm actually thinking that.
8. Your wife doesn't care that you've quit, she's not paying attention.A. My wife is sick of me telling her I'm quit when I'm not...time to shut up and do it for me alone.
9. Now that you've been dip free a while, your healed. Your gums, your addiction are better now. A dip a day won't hurt. Look, your friends can handle a cigarette here and there.A. Those friends are either 1) headed toward addiction, or 2) Ninja Smoking/Dipping. Law of Addiction states one will never be enough. I can never go back. I must replace nicotine with things that better my mind, my body and my relationships.
10. Give it up already, you know you'll be back.A. I've only came back in the past because I was too weak in the mind to admit to myself that nicotine doesn't have to be a part of every one of life's decisions. I now have the tools to be successful. I have my quit brothers and sisters, I have plenty of information to remind me if I lose my way, and I have my word. My word every single day that for just today, if I do nothing else, I stay nicotine free.

[lo sprk]

wo1miles,

I know all quits are different but it seems like we both got on a similar path of the funk. It hit me the evening of 35 days-seems evenings are far worse. Anyway, Day 38 - when I woke up and started getting ready for the day I felt the fog lift and whole new clarity came about me. I was talking about this with Brothernomo, and how each time I see myself rising from the fog it makes my quit stronger and clearer.

Everytime we hit these phases, and they are a bitch, the foundation of what brought us here gets stronger as we rise above another battle with nicotine.

Hopefully we are on the same path and you will concur with me tomorrow. Until then, keep doing what you are doing, we've quit for today. -cas

[pokerleader]

Wo1,
You are a strong person. You dont need that bitch. To use the words you once told me. She is nothing but a dirty whore. You can beat this man.

[wo1miles]

Day 37- I'm ass deep in a 3-day funk. This is a really really bad kind of funk. All I can think about right now is how many steps away from caving I am. I have gone to the store (which is exactly 154 steps from where I sleep) and stood there staring at the dip section. Picking up the cans, spinning them in their display case, reading the ingredients, the warning labels. All that keeps running through my mind is Skoal Peach, and I've never even fucking had Skoal Peach. WTF?!!!

For the last three days I've been able to leave the store empty handed. I head over to the movie tent, get some popcorn and go back to my room miserable as shit, and glad that I didn't cave for another day.

I made a promise today, and I will keep that promise regardless of how strong the urge is. I know that this, like the first three days, will pass. You can't get 37 days of quit back easily. I'm too far now to turn back, it's too much work. This is the longest I've gone without nicotine since basic training in 2001. 10 years, longest time quit. I can fucking do this.

[wo1miles]

Day 32- A thought on quit weight gain. When we started dating the NIC bitch, we probably either lost some pounds, or were still very young. Over the years, our true natural weight was obscured by 10-20 lbs. by nicotine.

In other words, don't think of your post-quit weight gain as you gaining weight, think of it as you getting your 10-20 lbs. back that was owed to you by the NIC bitch.

[G]

Well, I was just reading your day 25 and day 30 posts. Excellent work in here, my friend. You're an asset around this place. Keep doing what you're doing.

[nicofiend]

Day 30- As I was typing a reply under Mr. Skyhook's intro, it occurred to me. If NRT was so effective and temporary, why does Sams Club sell them in BULK? I spent 3.5 years buying huge packages of lozenges from Sams and rationalizing that "it's cheaper than Walgreen's."

Newsflash, NRT makers don't want you to quit after 12 weeks. You have to jump off the diving board and start your swim sometime. Make it now, without NRT. It doesn't help.

I was on the lozenge for 3.5 years and when I finally cuz loose from all nicotine, the withdrawal was just as bad as it would've been if I would have quit 3 and a half years ago off the can.

NIC is NIC , no matter what form!!!!

[wo1miles]

Day 30- As I was typing a reply under Mr. Skyhook's intro, it occurred to me. If NRT was so effective and temporary, why does Sams Club sell them in BULK? I spent 3.5 years buying huge packages of lozenges from Sams and rationalizing that "it's cheaper than Walgreen's."

Newsflash, NRT makers don't want you to quit after 12 weeks. You have to jump off the diving board and start your swim sometime. Make it now, without NRT. It doesn't help.

I was on the lozenge for 3.5 years and when I finally cuz loose from all nicotine, the withdrawal was just as bad as it would've been if I would have quit 3 and a half years ago off the can.

[Scowick65]

Day 25- Observation: I was going through the member list as found something interesting. Through the first 30 pages of member list names, I saw 1,500 member names. Of those, 219 had at least 100 posts (what would be the absolute minimum for HOF status).

This means 43 out of 50 members (in this sample) signed up and didn't make it to the HOF.

This is why when quitters come on here asking for help or telling us their grand plan, we need to reel them in and get them accountable. Most people have just a fleeting thought of quitting, and then they forget about it.

The faster we make them accountable, the stronger their quit will become. Join me in getting into these new introductions and getting these people roll posted. It will save their life, and strengthen your quit!

I see you are there for them. Thanks. I quit with you today.

[wo1miles]

Day 25- Observation: I was going through the member list as found something interesting. Through the first 30 pages of member list names, I saw 1,500 member names. Of those, 219 had at least 100 posts (what would be the absolute minimum for HOF status).

This means 43 out of 50 members (in this sample) signed up and didn't make it to the HOF.

This is why when quitters come on here asking for help or telling us their grand plan, we need to reel them in and get them accountable. Most people have just a fleeting thought of quitting, and then they forget about it.

The faster we make them accountable, the stronger their quit will become. Join me in getting into these new introductions and getting these people roll posted. It will save their life, and strengthen your quit!