peekachoo,
I am no mere badass, I am an nicotine addict just like you.Probably worse than you, (I get the feeling your a cherry snus suppository kind of guy). I do however have a knack for helping douchetards unwrap their nicotine soaked skulls. I was trained by Smokeyg after I crashed my x-lander in the swamp. Although you may be beyond the skills of all the quit Jedi in the realm. 'chew3'
Read this first , unless you too busy, training for your next climbing event 'chief'
What Price to Save Ourselves?
For over 2 decades, my best quit efforts lasted maybe 10 or so days. Finally, asking myself the right question changed my attitude and made it possible to quit. This quit is not easy, but it is finally in MY CONTROL and (I firmly believe) FINAL.
Previously, I always asked "how can I find the strength to break this addiction? In particular, how can I get through the crushing brain fog that always leads to my demise. I can't stay quit or start quitting right now because I get too brain-stupid to get any work done." THAT QUESTION ALWAYS LED ME TO FAIL because (a) it gave me the choice to fail, and (B) it said I had other priorities that I would allow to interfere with quitting. This time, I asked myself a different question. "IS THERE ANYTHING I WILL NOT DO IN ORDER TO QUIT? IS ANY COST TOO HIGH?" Since nobody was asking me to give up my family, I decided the answer was "NO." I therefore decided that I WILL INCUR ANY COST WHATSOEVER TO QUIT. If I must, I will use up all my vacation time to get away from the office until the fog lifts. If I have no vacation time left, I'll call in sick (and I consider addiction withdrawal to be honestly sick). If I run out of vacation/sick time, I'll ask for unpaid leave until my head clears up and while I practice handling fewer stresses without opening a tin. If I can't get unpaid leave, I'll let that job go (and go find a new job AFTER I SAVED MY LIFE). If I can't afford being on unpaid leave or unemployment, I will swallow my pride and ask for help from family friends, and I will sell my stupid car/house/stereo while I SAVE MY LIFE.
WOW, once I decided that NO COST WAS TOO HIGH TO SAVE MY LIFE, and that I would GLADLY INCUR THOSE COSTS, my whole mental attitude changed. No longer were there any impediments to quitting. Once that was my attitude, quitting was easier than I had experienced in prior efforts. I did have to cut back on my office time (and incur some temporary pay reduction), but nothing drastic. And in the long run, who gives a damn?
See, the real barrier wasn't quitting tobacco -- the real barrier had been what I had not CONSIDERED doing, or had not been WILLING to do, in order to make quitting the absolute #1 priority.
Another example: does quitting make being around the house unbearable? Negotiate leaving for 2 weeks!!! "Honey, I need these 2 weeks in order to give you the rest of my life. This isn't a vacation, this is the old 'stick with me in sickness and in health thing.' It's unfair to leave you with the kids, but I will make it up to you, and you will like the new me much better, and I won't go and get cancer on you.")
I came to this "At What Price" attitude after my wife died. She had been given a terminal diagnosis from hell with no hope whatsoever (Lou Gehrig's Disease). We had wished there was something/anything we could do, but there was not. And she had done nothing to deserve it (no smokes, barely drank, exercised regularly, young).
Now here I was, 14 months after she passed away, giving myself my own terminal sentence. But this was a sentence I had the power to stop. My wife had been denied any such power. So, every time I CHOSE to fill my lip, I insulted the memory of my wife. My wife and I would have paid ANY PRICE to save her: sacrificing job, house, friends, etc.
Once I asked "What Price" to save myself, the answers became rather obvious and easy. This quit is not easy, but now it is only a question of time. The fog still lingers some, but now I just ride it out rather than fight it or let it scare me back to the can.
Hey guys, don't fill the boards with condolences. It's been 15 months and I've come to terms with my loss. But I wanted to share this story to prompt you to ask yourselves, "Is Any Price Too High?" Are you putting artificial barriers (like the job, or conserving vacation days and sick leave, or keeping secrets from your wife) in the way of accomplishing THE MOST IMPORTANT GOAL in your life right now?
Would you quit your job, sell your house and move to a desolate place where you have no friends, all in order to save the life of your child, wife, or father? Of course you would. Now, do whatever you have to do, at whatever cost, to save your own life.
My comment of "fail" was to focus you on the fact that regardless of your lifestyle or roll call commitment or attendance at numerous grand openings of gay bath houses across America. Your quit BETTER be your top priority. If it isn't you'll cave.
Your quit is NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT GOAL in your life, and it should be.
It's that simple. Deny it, argue, scream, protest,scoff, but its still true. I'm sure your one ass licking( sorry L and K are really close together) name taking kinda gal.
But your here for a reason. I have only been here for 463 days. But I have seen
"you" come and go a dozen times. Your bravado and denial betray you. Most recently your name was Chugg, Another time you were Moose, and legion of quitters before. The man with the better mousetrap. I know you better than you think. I know the addiction that controls your life. I was you, except mountain goats give me the creeps so I stick to sea level. I'll eat my hat if you stick around to 100. My guess is you'll use the screw you guys, I don't need this bullshit route then take your ball and go home. This too is a use rationalization , I think somebody described it
index.php?showtopic=3112I quote
EDIT: ugg I'm so over this fucking place. This is totally not the kind of person that I am. When logging into this site and reading what people have to say becomes the most stressful part of my day, it should be a clear indicator that I need a change of venue. Of course some ass clown that I've never seen a post from is goona respond with the same old "look at this pathetic caver letting the nic bitch run his life" response
first rationalization is an excuse to leave the site, second is "look at this pathetic caver" to my knowledge you have yet to cave, your post is a response to a future cave? a freudian typo perhaps? or is a cigar just a cigar?
Recently started dating a new girl who exclaimed how disgusted she is by chewing. Doesn't know I chew(ed),
You hide your addiction, why? like a heroin addict, or an alcoholic hiding a bottle in the closet. Your no different than the rest of us, your an addict. Addicts lie and hide. People with mildly disgusting habits don't.
Every day that I log in I'm glad to see his name, it means more than any other name. I hope that seeing my name on role means the same to him.
I felt the same way about a guy in my group with the same day
He killed himself around day 40, guess your right about it being harder for some. Quit related? anxiety related? maybe, I have some pm's from him that can demonstrate the intensity of what this addiction is capable of. This isn't just a journal to some people, this is life or death. If you just want to document your quit start a fucking blog or try microsoft word. The feedback your getting is not keyboard gorillas , but other well versed addicts calling you out on your own bullshit. You might as well walk into a AA meeting and claim that your really a casual drinker and will be much too busy with more important affairs than to tend to your sobriety or attend meetings. Besides you really don't want to quit "enjoying drinking" and you can quit anytime you want just because you set your mind to it. I almost started laughing reading this. I'm sure no one wanted to quit enjoying their drug of choice.
And for that other fucktard that chimed, it's a good thing you don't have kids or a family cause it would be tragic to know that you quit is more important than they are.
Nice try , but you really shouldn't bring a knife to a tank fight kiddo. My quit is sacred for a number of reasons, a main one is infact my family. But yes my quit comes before them. It has too. I quit for me first, and me only,but they win by default.
I have daughters and a son. Whats important to me?.... Below is taken from the Tom and Jenny Kern story. his daughter sometimes posts messages to Tom. Of course I doubt you've taken the time to read The Tom and Jenny Kern Story ,being busy climbing mountains and what not.
Hey Dad!
Just wanted to drop in and say hi. There is not a day that goes by when I don't miss you. I wish more than anything I could just have one last bear hug from you (yours were ALWAYS the best)! I would do anything just to have another day with you. I know you are in a better place, but it hurt so much not having you here with me.
I love you dad!
Kenzi
Kenzi Kern
Hey Dad-
Merry Christmas!!! I know this is your favorite time of year and we are all missing you so much over the holidays. Ryan, Kenra, and I went out and got a real tree agian this year...It makes me think of you every time I look at it! I miss you and love you so much wishing you could be here every day with us!!!
Merry Christmas Daddy!!!
Kenzi Kern
- Friday, December 25, 2009 8:24 PM CST
Happy Father's Day dad!! I love you and miss you so much. You would have been so proud of Connor today he pitched a good game, and Tori has a good tournament yesterday too, but I know you were there in spirit! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kenzi Kern
Hutch, MN - Sunday, June 21, 2009 8:29 PM CDT
To see my children (ages 16, 12, 9, 7) touch their once robust, jolly father who lay lifeless in his hospital bed and know he was dying just killed me. Two days later, we were all around him as he took his last breath. Our oldest child threw herself on his legs and cried, "Don't go, Dad!"
Thats why my quit is the most important thing to me. It is why it comes before all else. It is why I would change my job, change my life, make any sacrifice or commitment. My family will not go through that if I can help it. I will not lay in a hospital bed and die hearing the sobs of my daughters.
As for you. nice fucking wannabe fantasy blog, pathetic quit. Until proven otherwise I standby my original viewpoint about your current scenario. I actually hope you prove me wrong, I wouldn't wish this addiction on anyone. However, until then I'm going to stick with ............
FAILSkoal Monster 462