Today is the day

[KingNothing]

Day 40 thoughts

I have been thinking a lot about my quit, this site, other BAQs, and life in general. I hadn't written in my intro for awhile and it has finally slowed down some at work so I thought I would get some words down.

Reflecting on day 40 reminded me of the story of Noah and the flood. Unlike Noah I don't think God spoke to me one day and said to prepare, I think he sent lots of little messages because he knew that I was not prepared. I had put everything on the backburner because of chew. I would make up excuses to leave family gatherings early because I needed nic and hid it from my family, I chewed all the time at work and didn't care who was around, my boss, my boss' boss, customers. I was in a meeting with a large client and management several levels above me. I had a big dip in a didn't think anything about it. Afterward the division president made a comment about it and I tossed it and was counting the minutes until I could get out of his sight and throw in another one. My life was consumed by nicotine. I didn't start dating until I was 27. I had nicotine and that was all I needed. I met a girl that 2 years later has become the love of my life(on day 100 I am going to ask her to be with me the rest of my life). She has never complained about me dipping but I can tell the strain it was causing. Lots of little messages that I tucked away but never took action on.

Then came the rain. It started with the news that a family friend had passed away as cancer had finally taken his ravished body. All from being cool and packing a can. 9/9/15 that rain started and became day 1 for me. The 40 days of rain was a roller coaster. I was mad at the world and everything in it. I blamed anything that crossed my path at times. I manage a grain elevator and those 40 days were harvest of 2015. 15 hour days, 13 days straight and then one day off, then repeat. It was crazy. I was stressed out beyond belief and my anxiety was going to kill me. My first day off was a fog. I missed roll that day and the guilt once I realized it the next day almost did me in. But then something clicked and if I felt this bad for missing roll on one day, what would I feel like if I did cave. This is not something I want to find out.

This past week has been one of the hardest I have been through on two fronts. I won't get started on work, but will focus on this site. I was ready to leave the site. I understand and appreciate the work that some amazing people put into this site and I am truly grateful. I know that some won't like it and I may be the only one with the opinion, but I ask that people reach out directly before calling people out. Maybe I am too tired or took it too much to heart, but it did not sit well with me the comments that were made by people who never reached out to me. It wasn't that I didn't post, it was because of when I posted and how it didn't match their timing. There is one fellow quitter who reached out and is the reason I am still here posting. He had a simple statement, "hey bro your not on roll today. just a heads up your usually an early poster" This started a conversation that allowed me to see past comments on roll call and get back to the point of roll call. I am making a promise not to use nicotine for that day. I try my hardest to get on here as early as possible. I have made the decision to quit 40 times in a row. I have posted that decision 39.

The good news is that the 40th night is drawing near and I think I see the storm clouds parting. Work will be back to normal hours and my free time will increase. I can't wait to get back to being more active on this site. I know I will need it with the increase in free time.

Thank you to the moderators and everyone who keeps this site running. I am normally a very private guy who bottles everything up. This forum is helping me deal with it in a positive way that doesn't support big tobacco. I hate conflict and don't want to start any bad feelings, but needed for this to get out there. I know it is all done with the best of intentions that may sometimes not be taken the right way.

I am proud to quit with all of you today.

Wow. Killer post.

Awesome!!!

Your post is just great! First, you are getting ready to propose! Then, your whole post shows how you are taking your life back! And finally, you are immersing yourself in the site and with that, feeling some growing pains.

This site works when nothing else does. You can get involved in some drama in it if you'd like (a lot of times it can be kinda fun) or you can blow it off... But you cannot leave the site. It works when nothing else does. You owe it to yourself and everyone I here to post your promise in your group each day. That is all. The more you do, the stronger your quit will be.

Dude you are killing it. Proud to quit with you.

Proud to quit with you today!!!! QLF EDD!!!

Lwild, you're getting it my man. You're in the "fuck its" part of your quit and it can be brutal trying to battle those emotions while battling the addiction day in and day out. Remember this, dip never did a damn thing for you. Leaving this site would be akin to leaving the grain in the field at harvest. You're not done til it's in the elevator, right? Same thing here, your job isn't done yet. Keep posting and keep keeping that promise. We're here with you in good times and bad (start practicing those vows now it will pay off immensely if you can recite them from memory, ladies love that stuff).

Great post and keep pushing forward, you're killing it!

[Tjschu]

Day 40 thoughts

I have been thinking a lot about my quit, this site, other BAQs, and life in general. I hadn't written in my intro for awhile and it has finally slowed down some at work so I thought I would get some words down.

Reflecting on day 40 reminded me of the story of Noah and the flood. Unlike Noah I don't think God spoke to me one day and said to prepare, I think he sent lots of little messages because he knew that I was not prepared. I had put everything on the backburner because of chew. I would make up excuses to leave family gatherings early because I needed nic and hid it from my family, I chewed all the time at work and didn't care who was around, my boss, my boss' boss, customers. I was in a meeting with a large client and management several levels above me. I had a big dip in a didn't think anything about it. Afterward the division president made a comment about it and I tossed it and was counting the minutes until I could get out of his sight and throw in another one. My life was consumed by nicotine. I didn't start dating until I was 27. I had nicotine and that was all I needed. I met a girl that 2 years later has become the love of my life(on day 100 I am going to ask her to be with me the rest of my life). She has never complained about me dipping but I can tell the strain it was causing. Lots of little messages that I tucked away but never took action on.

Then came the rain. It started with the news that a family friend had passed away as cancer had finally taken his ravished body. All from being cool and packing a can. 9/9/15 that rain started and became day 1 for me. The 40 days of rain was a roller coaster. I was mad at the world and everything in it. I blamed anything that crossed my path at times. I manage a grain elevator and those 40 days were harvest of 2015. 15 hour days, 13 days straight and then one day off, then repeat. It was crazy. I was stressed out beyond belief and my anxiety was going to kill me. My first day off was a fog. I missed roll that day and the guilt once I realized it the next day almost did me in. But then something clicked and if I felt this bad for missing roll on one day, what would I feel like if I did cave. This is not something I want to find out.

This past week has been one of the hardest I have been through on two fronts. I won't get started on work, but will focus on this site. I was ready to leave the site. I understand and appreciate the work that some amazing people put into this site and I am truly grateful. I know that some won't like it and I may be the only one with the opinion, but I ask that people reach out directly before calling people out. Maybe I am too tired or took it too much to heart, but it did not sit well with me the comments that were made by people who never reached out to me. It wasn't that I didn't post, it was because of when I posted and how it didn't match their timing. There is one fellow quitter who reached out and is the reason I am still here posting. He had a simple statement, "hey bro your not on roll today. just a heads up your usually an early poster" This started a conversation that allowed me to see past comments on roll call and get back to the point of roll call. I am making a promise not to use nicotine for that day. I try my hardest to get on here as early as possible. I have made the decision to quit 40 times in a row. I have posted that decision 39.

The good news is that the 40th night is drawing near and I think I see the storm clouds parting. Work will be back to normal hours and my free time will increase. I can't wait to get back to being more active on this site. I know I will need it with the increase in free time.

Thank you to the moderators and everyone who keeps this site running. I am normally a very private guy who bottles everything up. This forum is helping me deal with it in a positive way that doesn't support big tobacco. I hate conflict and don't want to start any bad feelings, but needed for this to get out there. I know it is all done with the best of intentions that may sometimes not be taken the right way.

I am proud to quit with all of you today.

Wow. Killer post.

Awesome!!!

Your post is just great! First, you are getting ready to propose! Then, your whole post shows how you are taking your life back! And finally, you are immersing yourself in the site and with that, feeling some growing pains.

This site works when nothing else does. You can get involved in some drama in it if you'd like (a lot of times it can be kinda fun) or you can blow it off... But you cannot leave the site. It works when nothing else does. You owe it to yourself and everyone I here to post your promise in your group each day. That is all. The more you do, the stronger your quit will be.

Dude you are killing it. Proud to quit with you.

Proud to quit with you today!!!! QLF EDD!!!

[worktowin]

Day 40 thoughts

I have been thinking a lot about my quit, this site, other BAQs, and life in general. I hadn't written in my intro for awhile and it has finally slowed down some at work so I thought I would get some words down.

Reflecting on day 40 reminded me of the story of Noah and the flood. Unlike Noah I don't think God spoke to me one day and said to prepare, I think he sent lots of little messages because he knew that I was not prepared. I had put everything on the backburner because of chew. I would make up excuses to leave family gatherings early because I needed nic and hid it from my family, I chewed all the time at work and didn't care who was around, my boss, my boss' boss, customers. I was in a meeting with a large client and management several levels above me. I had a big dip in a didn't think anything about it. Afterward the division president made a comment about it and I tossed it and was counting the minutes until I could get out of his sight and throw in another one. My life was consumed by nicotine. I didn't start dating until I was 27. I had nicotine and that was all I needed. I met a girl that 2 years later has become the love of my life(on day 100 I am going to ask her to be with me the rest of my life). She has never complained about me dipping but I can tell the strain it was causing. Lots of little messages that I tucked away but never took action on.

Then came the rain. It started with the news that a family friend had passed away as cancer had finally taken his ravished body. All from being cool and packing a can. 9/9/15 that rain started and became day 1 for me. The 40 days of rain was a roller coaster. I was mad at the world and everything in it. I blamed anything that crossed my path at times. I manage a grain elevator and those 40 days were harvest of 2015. 15 hour days, 13 days straight and then one day off, then repeat. It was crazy. I was stressed out beyond belief and my anxiety was going to kill me. My first day off was a fog. I missed roll that day and the guilt once I realized it the next day almost did me in. But then something clicked and if I felt this bad for missing roll on one day, what would I feel like if I did cave. This is not something I want to find out.

This past week has been one of the hardest I have been through on two fronts. I won't get started on work, but will focus on this site. I was ready to leave the site. I understand and appreciate the work that some amazing people put into this site and I am truly grateful. I know that some won't like it and I may be the only one with the opinion, but I ask that people reach out directly before calling people out. Maybe I am too tired or took it too much to heart, but it did not sit well with me the comments that were made by people who never reached out to me. It wasn't that I didn't post, it was because of when I posted and how it didn't match their timing. There is one fellow quitter who reached out and is the reason I am still here posting. He had a simple statement, "hey bro your not on roll today. just a heads up your usually an early poster" This started a conversation that allowed me to see past comments on roll call and get back to the point of roll call. I am making a promise not to use nicotine for that day. I try my hardest to get on here as early as possible. I have made the decision to quit 40 times in a row. I have posted that decision 39.

The good news is that the 40th night is drawing near and I think I see the storm clouds parting. Work will be back to normal hours and my free time will increase. I can't wait to get back to being more active on this site. I know I will need it with the increase in free time.

Thank you to the moderators and everyone who keeps this site running. I am normally a very private guy who bottles everything up. This forum is helping me deal with it in a positive way that doesn't support big tobacco. I hate conflict and don't want to start any bad feelings, but needed for this to get out there. I know it is all done with the best of intentions that may sometimes not be taken the right way.

I am proud to quit with all of you today.

Wow. Killer post.

Awesome!!!

Your post is just great! First, you are getting ready to propose! Then, your whole post shows how you are taking your life back! And finally, you are immersing yourself in the site and with that, feeling some growing pains.

This site works when nothing else does. You can get involved in some drama in it if you'd like (a lot of times it can be kinda fun) or you can blow it off... But you cannot leave the site. It works when nothing else does. You owe it to yourself and everyone I here to post your promise in your group each day. That is all. The more you do, the stronger your quit will be.

Dude you are killing it. Proud to quit with you.

[lwildma2]

Day 40 thoughts

I have been thinking a lot about my quit, this site, other BAQs, and life in general. I hadn't written in my intro for awhile and it has finally slowed down some at work so I thought I would get some words down.

Reflecting on day 40 reminded me of the story of Noah and the flood. Unlike Noah I don't think God spoke to me one day and said to prepare, I think he sent lots of little messages because he knew that I was not prepared. I had put everything on the backburner because of chew. I would make up excuses to leave family gatherings early because I needed nic and hid it from my family, I chewed all the time at work and didn't care who was around, my boss, my boss' boss, customers. I was in a meeting with a large client and management several levels above me. I had a big dip in a didn't think anything about it. Afterward the division president made a comment about it and I tossed it and was counting the minutes until I could get out of his sight and throw in another one. My life was consumed by nicotine. I didn't start dating until I was 27. I had nicotine and that was all I needed. I met a girl that 2 years later has become the love of my life(on day 100 I am going to ask her to be with me the rest of my life). She has never complained about me dipping but I can tell the strain it was causing. Lots of little messages that I tucked away but never took action on.

Then came the rain. It started with the news that a family friend had passed away as cancer had finally taken his ravished body. All from being cool and packing a can. 9/9/15 that rain started and became day 1 for me. The 40 days of rain was a roller coaster. I was mad at the world and everything in it. I blamed anything that crossed my path at times. I manage a grain elevator and those 40 days were harvest of 2015. 15 hour days, 13 days straight and then one day off, then repeat. It was crazy. I was stressed out beyond belief and my anxiety was going to kill me. My first day off was a fog. I missed roll that day and the guilt once I realized it the next day almost did me in. But then something clicked and if I felt this bad for missing roll on one day, what would I feel like if I did cave. This is not something I want to find out.

This past week has been one of the hardest I have been through on two fronts. I won't get started on work, but will focus on this site. I was ready to leave the site. I understand and appreciate the work that some amazing people put into this site and I am truly grateful. I know that some won't like it and I may be the only one with the opinion, but I ask that people reach out directly before calling people out. Maybe I am too tired or took it too much to heart, but it did not sit well with me the comments that were made by people who never reached out to me. It wasn't that I didn't post, it was because of when I posted and how it didn't match their timing. There is one fellow quitter who reached out and is the reason I am still here posting. He had a simple statement, "hey bro your not on roll today. just a heads up your usually an early poster" This started a conversation that allowed me to see past comments on roll call and get back to the point of roll call. I am making a promise not to use nicotine for that day. I try my hardest to get on here as early as possible. I have made the decision to quit 40 times in a row. I have posted that decision 39.

The good news is that the 40th night is drawing near and I think I see the storm clouds parting. Work will be back to normal hours and my free time will increase. I can't wait to get back to being more active on this site. I know I will need it with the increase in free time.

Thank you to the moderators and everyone who keeps this site running. I am normally a very private guy who bottles everything up. This forum is helping me deal with it in a positive way that doesn't support big tobacco. I hate conflict and don't want to start any bad feelings, but needed for this to get out there. I know it is all done with the best of intentions that may sometimes not be taken the right way.

I am proud to quit with all of you today.

[invader]

Hey man!

Congratulations on your milestone today! Take that hand you used to give nic the finger and pat yourself on the back with it! You're taking your quit seriously, getting involved with the community, and posting roll. That sort of commitment is gonna take you far. Hell, it inspired me! Quit with you today!

- Invader

[KingNothing]

I had a new experience today. The first time in a tobacco shop since I quit. I am coming off of a 70 hour high stress week and am out of smokey mountain. Walmart didn't have any so I decided to try the tobacco store. They had some and didn't feel a temptation at all. The clerk had a roll of cope waiting for me but i turned it down and told her i quit and to never sell me any again. i used to feel some pride when i could walk in and they would have it ready for me. today i was actually embarrassed.

Stay strong and I quit with all of you today.

Wow, nice win!

I never bought a roll of Copenhagen, even though a clerk at one of my convenience stores told me I could. I actually used to "doctor shop" for my dip by visiting several different convenience stores. I didn't want the clerks to remember me as I was always going to quit dipping the next day or the next week or the next month or whenever. That can I was buying was just temporary you know. :P

You guys are both bad ass. Proud to quit with you today.

You guys are winning. Keep it up. These aren't easy W's, but you're stacking them up. That's all you can do and you're doing it. Nothing left to see here except +1s

[worktowin]

I have noticed that there were some pretty active people in the HOF and WOW list from years ago. I noticed that some say banned and are down to zero posts.

What would cause someone to be banned? Going back to chewing???

The very backbone of this site is the brotherhood. Sometimes, as painful as it might be, you have to cut a sibling out of your life in order to move forward. A good analogy... Let's say you and your 27 year old brother lived with your parents and he tried to burn their house down after yelling st your mom and calling her a herpes infected nasty fucking whore. And spitting in your dads face. It would hurt to push him out of your life, but tough decisions gotta be made.

[lwildma2]

I have noticed that there were some pretty active people in the HOF and WOW list from years ago. I noticed that some say banned and are down to zero posts.

What would cause someone to be banned? Going back to chewing???

[lwildma2]

I had a new experience today. The first time in a tobacco shop since I quit. I am coming off of a 70 hour high stress week and am out of smokey mountain. Walmart didn't have any so I decided to try the tobacco store. They had some and didn't feel a temptation at all. The clerk had a roll of cope waiting for me but i turned it down and told her i quit and to never sell me any again. i used to feel some pride when i could walk in and they would have it ready for me. today i was actually embarrassed.

Stay strong and I quit with all of you today.

Wow, nice win!

I never bought a roll of Copenhagen, even though a clerk at one of my convenience stores told me I could. I actually used to "doctor shop" for my dip by visiting several different convenience stores. I didn't want the clerks to remember me as I was always going to quit dipping the next day or the next week or the next month or whenever. That can I was buying was just temporary you know. :P

I bought multiple rolls at a time. When I quit I was dipping 2-3 can per day. I bought a Sam's Club membership and would drive an hour on the weekends because I would be guaranteed they would have how much I needed in stock. I live around a bunch of small towns and would have to drive around looking for chew in stock. Looking back I can't believe how pathetically addicted I was to that crap.

[worktowin]

I had a new experience today. The first time in a tobacco shop since I quit. I am coming off of a 70 hour high stress week and am out of smokey mountain. Walmart didn't have any so I decided to try the tobacco store. They had some and didn't feel a temptation at all. The clerk had a roll of cope waiting for me but i turned it down and told her i quit and to never sell me any again. i used to feel some pride when i could walk in and they would have it ready for me. today i was actually embarrassed.

Stay strong and I quit with all of you today.

Wow, nice win!

I never bought a roll of Copenhagen, even though a clerk at one of my convenience stores told me I could. I actually used to "doctor shop" for my dip by visiting several different convenience stores. I didn't want the clerks to remember me as I was always going to quit dipping the next day or the next week or the next month or whenever. That can I was buying was just temporary you know. :P

You guys are both bad ass. Proud to quit with you today.

[Stranger999]

I had a new experience today. The first time in a tobacco shop since I quit. I am coming off of a 70 hour high stress week and am out of smokey mountain. Walmart didn't have any so I decided to try the tobacco store. They had some and didn't feel a temptation at all. The clerk had a roll of cope waiting for me but i turned it down and told her i quit and to never sell me any again. i used to feel some pride when i could walk in and they would have it ready for me. today i was actually embarrassed.

Stay strong and I quit with all of you today.

Wow, nice win!

I never bought a roll of Copenhagen, even though a clerk at one of my convenience stores told me I could. I actually used to "doctor shop" for my dip by visiting several different convenience stores. I didn't want the clerks to remember me as I was always going to quit dipping the next day or the next week or the next month or whenever. That can I was buying was just temporary you know. :P

[lwildma2]

I had a new experience today. The first time in a tobacco shop since I quit. I am coming off of a 70 hour high stress week and am out of smokey mountain. Walmart didn't have any so I decided to try the tobacco store. They had some and didn't feel a temptation at all. The clerk had a roll of cope waiting for me but i turned it down and told her i quit and to never sell me any again. i used to feel some pride when i could walk in and they would have it ready for me. today i was actually embarrassed.

Stay strong and I quit with all of you today.

[worktowin]

It was a horrible day that is still lingering, but the part that scares me is I thought I had posted roll and had read intros. Only realized I hadn't when I went to post on Sun and saw my name on the missing list.

Check your PM.

Nicotine is a horrible, dangerous neurotoxin. It causes your blood oxygen to decrease in addition to a lot of other unpleasant side effects. Your friend seemed to have been the victim of the worst of them, but all of nicotine's side effects are bad.

Since your brain has been deprived of the oxygen that God intended it to have, the new flood of oxygen has it confused. Thus the fog. It will pass, and once it does... oh my God you will love the clarity of thought. In the meantime, let the fog and confusion fuel some rage.

You've got this.

[lwildma2]

It was a horrible day that is still lingering, but the part that scares me is I thought I had posted roll and had read intros. Only realized I hadn't when I went to post on Sun and saw my name on the missing list.

[pab1964]

Understand fellows you have totally screwed your brain by using. Now it has to completely rewire itself back to somewhat normal. Hang in there. You will have shitty day's but a whole lot more great day's ahead. Post roll EDD, early and learn there's never a good time not to post! It's what's got you this far IMO!