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Offline cdforecheck

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Re: life choice
« Reply #22 on: September 22, 2009, 09:48:00 PM »
I had a very tough day today on many levels, triggers from every angle and serious doubt in my own quit. I posted my concerns and texted my support network. It worked as I imagined and the crave subsided. Thanks to russjns, flash, vertex, and redyota for the positive text messages and all those who posted helping me through this today.

I saved reading something on this site for exactly this type of moment. Based on what many people have written, Tom and Jenny's Story helped them to make the final decision to begin a quit, I had already decided to quit before I joined so as I read the additional resources and introduction posts I purposely avoided that one link. I didn't expect what I just read to affect me like this. I write this with tears in my eyes for Tom and Jenny's family, the struggle and hardships that family has faced is NOTHING compared to my crappy day at work and dealing with things that ultimately won't mean anything in five years. How selfish I must be to even allow the idea of sucking on the shit to enter my mind? I don't think anyone other than the folks here can understand how utterly ashamed of my addiction I am at this point. I don't even think getting caught by the wife or using in front of my kids has ever made me this embarrassed and humiliated. I am going to list all the reasons I can for avoiding the "worm dirt" and keeping a copy of it in my wallet next to my contract. I have way too much to be thankful for this crap, I have too much to live for to have my children watch me take my last breath because of this shit. God Bless Tom and Jenny and their family, and God Bless the people giving of themselves to help rid others of this brutal addiction.

Curt
Go Bucks! Quit Date: 12-23-2011

Offline Gump

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Re: life choice
« Reply #21 on: September 17, 2009, 11:46:00 AM »
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: cdforecheck
Oh hell, I’m now into the third month of my quit, day 61 in about 30 minutes.  I try to think of the positive changes that I have gone through and they are too numerous to count. Yet, to be perfectly honest I am having a rough time right now. Some call it the funk, hell it feels almost like withdraw all over again; anxiety, chills, and the crawling sensations.  The nic bitch is whispering to me and I am fighting the fight, I will not allow her back into my life.  My guard is up and my condition right now is red, my resolve is strong yet at times I am feeling weak.  The damn nic bitch is not holding any punches.  I wonder if I’m sometimes strong enough to do this, but I DO know I am smarter than she can ever be, and avoiding her lure is really crucial for me right now. I have made some changes; I don't go into quickie marts or any other place where I know I can make an impulse buy, I always pay at the pump so I don't even go in, if I have to go in I take one of my kids with me, thank goodness the grocery stores have the shit in a cage and someone has to physically go get it buying more time for the brain to kick in. I hate the bitch telling me just one and that little quiet voice inside says yep, thank God I am strong mentally cause I’m not feeling it physically right now, I must keep the quit though for me and my family, we deserve it. I’ve earned this struggle by letting the nic punk me for 26 years, she will not win.  I will not permit it, I am feeling a bit weak right now which simply means I have keep the guard up.  This shit right now is definitely not for fucking around with, and I will maintain close ties to this site.  KTC has helped me through the worst, and I know it’ll be here now.
Midterm Funk is not unusual. I had a bad case of the "I don't give a shits" about 60 to 70 days. Power through it brother and don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Thanks for sharing your feelings

Kdip
Cdforecheck,

The funk sucks, but caving sucks worse. You ARE strong enough to do this, I know because you already did it 61 days in a row. If you did it 61 times you sure as hell can do it 62 right? I hit the funk early like you and it hurt. I'm no doctor, but I find it interesting that most of us hit it around the same time period in our quit. My personal theory is that it is some internal chemical balancing act that kicks in as our brains begin to heal and rewire themselves. Perhaps its all the shitty little nicotine receptors dying off . More likely its a phase where the "pleasure center" of the brain has to start working without nicotine to produce dopamine. It is too common of an occurence to be psychological and it is well documented here. If not mental then by definition it is a physical thing. Therfore your body can heal it.I dunno, just my theory.
I DO KNOW that it goes away, exercise helped me tremendously during the funk, and I forced myself to get really busy with various projects. This seemed to snap me out of it. The thing to remember is you are quit regardless of the consequences. This includes craves as well as funk. You must endure that shit to have your freedom. Is it worth it? absolutely, it is like getting a head cold. You don't lop off your head when you get one, you know that your going to feel shitty for awhile so you pop some asprin, nyquil, tea or scotch and get on with your life. Sooner or later the cold goes away. Funk is the same way.

Good quit

SM
Curt,

Some good tips in here from SM. Sorry you're having this funk brother, didn't realize that at the time you PM'd me. But it does make sense, the ol' "this too shall pass". The head cold analogy is spot on, I'm going to use it too!

You've been a great support to me, and you can feel free to lean on me as hard as you need to. I'm in a pretty strong place, though I can't sleep for more than a couple of hours these days :blink:

Hang in there man. I insist!

Tim
"Stupid is as stupid does"

Quit nicotine 9/1/09

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Offline niwot

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Re: life choice
« Reply #20 on: September 15, 2009, 10:46:00 PM »
Quote from: cdforecheck
Quote from: loot
Quote from: willy
Quote from: skoalmonster
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: cdforecheck
Oh hell, I’m now into the third month of my quit, day 61 in about 30 minutes.  I try to think of the positive changes that I have gone through and they are too numerous to count. Yet, to be perfectly honest I am having a rough time right now. Some call it the funk, hell it feels almost like withdraw all over again; anxiety, chills, and the crawling sensations.  The nic bitch is whispering to me and I am fighting the fight, I will not allow her back into my life.  My guard is up and my condition right now is red, my resolve is strong yet at times I am feeling weak.  The damn nic bitch is not holding any punches.  I wonder if I’m sometimes strong enough to do this, but I DO know I am smarter than she can ever be, and avoiding her lure is really crucial for me right now. I have made some changes; I don't go into quickie marts or any other place where I know I can make an impulse buy, I always pay at the pump so I don't even go in, if I have to go in I take one of my kids with me, thank goodness the grocery stores have the shit in a cage and someone has to physically go get it buying more time for the brain to kick in. I hate the bitch telling me just one and that little quiet voice inside says yep, thank God I am strong mentally cause I’m not feeling it physically right now, I must keep the quit though for me and my family, we deserve it. I’ve earned this struggle by letting the nic punk me for 26 years, she will not win.  I will not permit it, I am feeling a bit weak right now which simply means I have keep the guard up.  This shit right now is definitely not for fucking around with, and I will maintain close ties to this site.  KTC has helped me through the worst, and I know it’ll be here now.
Midterm Funk is not unusual. I had a bad case of the "I don't give a shits" about 60 to 70 days. Power through it brother and don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Thanks for sharing your feelings

Kdip
Cdforecheck,

The funk sucks, but caving sucks worse. You ARE strong enough to do this, I know because you already did it 61 days in a row. If you did it 61 times you sure as hell can do it 62 right? I hit the funk early like you and it hurt. I'm no doctor, but I find it interesting that most of us hit it around the same time period in our quit. My personal theory is that it is some internal chemical balancing act that kicks in as our brains begin to heal and rewire themselves. Perhaps its all the shitty little nicotine receptors dying off . More likely its a phase where the "pleasure center" of the brain has to start working without nicotine to produce dopamine. It is too common of an occurence to be psychological and it is well documented here. If not mental then by definition it is a physical thing. Therfore your body can heal it.I dunno, just my theory.
I DO KNOW that it goes away, exercise helped me tremendously during the funk, and I forced myself to get really busy with various projects. This seemed to snap me out of it. The thing to remember is you are quit regardless of the consequences. This includes craves as well as funk. You must endure that shit to have your freedom. Is it worth it? absolutely, it is like getting a head cold. You don't lop off your head when you get one, you know that your going to feel shitty for awhile so you pop some asprin, nyquil, tea or scotch and get on with your life. Sooner or later the cold goes away. Funk is the same way.

Good quit

SM
Hang in there Curt, you got this by the balls.
Stay quit, let me know if I can help.
put up with it dude. it will last a week or so. after that you'll cruise past 100. you will not be finished by any stretch. LOOT's funks went sorta like this. 70, 125, 250, 400, 750...and nothing since....a couple years ago was the last time it really fuct with LOOT.

notice each time the funck gets spread further and further apart. and the intensity weakens each time to.

when she fucks with you...beat her down and put the boots to that ass.

be strong man. from the PM you sent...you've no doubt dealt with worse.

PM if you need anything.
thanks guys sometimes it feels like i'm rambling but it helps me focus on the goal..a life without nic!
Nothin' worth having comes easy- fight the good fight!!
There are 2 types of pain: the pain of DISCIPLINE and the pain of REGRET.

Offline cdforecheck

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Re: life choice
« Reply #19 on: September 15, 2009, 08:59:00 PM »
Quote from: loot
Quote from: willy
Quote from: skoalmonster
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: cdforecheck
Oh hell, I’m now into the third month of my quit, day 61 in about 30 minutes.  I try to think of the positive changes that I have gone through and they are too numerous to count. Yet, to be perfectly honest I am having a rough time right now. Some call it the funk, hell it feels almost like withdraw all over again; anxiety, chills, and the crawling sensations.  The nic bitch is whispering to me and I am fighting the fight, I will not allow her back into my life.  My guard is up and my condition right now is red, my resolve is strong yet at times I am feeling weak.  The damn nic bitch is not holding any punches.  I wonder if I’m sometimes strong enough to do this, but I DO know I am smarter than she can ever be, and avoiding her lure is really crucial for me right now. I have made some changes; I don't go into quickie marts or any other place where I know I can make an impulse buy, I always pay at the pump so I don't even go in, if I have to go in I take one of my kids with me, thank goodness the grocery stores have the shit in a cage and someone has to physically go get it buying more time for the brain to kick in. I hate the bitch telling me just one and that little quiet voice inside says yep, thank God I am strong mentally cause I’m not feeling it physically right now, I must keep the quit though for me and my family, we deserve it. I’ve earned this struggle by letting the nic punk me for 26 years, she will not win.  I will not permit it, I am feeling a bit weak right now which simply means I have keep the guard up.  This shit right now is definitely not for fucking around with, and I will maintain close ties to this site.  KTC has helped me through the worst, and I know it’ll be here now.
Midterm Funk is not unusual. I had a bad case of the "I don't give a shits" about 60 to 70 days. Power through it brother and don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Thanks for sharing your feelings

Kdip
Cdforecheck,

The funk sucks, but caving sucks worse. You ARE strong enough to do this, I know because you already did it 61 days in a row. If you did it 61 times you sure as hell can do it 62 right? I hit the funk early like you and it hurt. I'm no doctor, but I find it interesting that most of us hit it around the same time period in our quit. My personal theory is that it is some internal chemical balancing act that kicks in as our brains begin to heal and rewire themselves. Perhaps its all the shitty little nicotine receptors dying off . More likely its a phase where the "pleasure center" of the brain has to start working without nicotine to produce dopamine. It is too common of an occurence to be psychological and it is well documented here. If not mental then by definition it is a physical thing. Therfore your body can heal it.I dunno, just my theory.
I DO KNOW that it goes away, exercise helped me tremendously during the funk, and I forced myself to get really busy with various projects. This seemed to snap me out of it. The thing to remember is you are quit regardless of the consequences. This includes craves as well as funk. You must endure that shit to have your freedom. Is it worth it? absolutely, it is like getting a head cold. You don't lop off your head when you get one, you know that your going to feel shitty for awhile so you pop some asprin, nyquil, tea or scotch and get on with your life. Sooner or later the cold goes away. Funk is the same way.

Good quit

SM
Hang in there Curt, you got this by the balls.
Stay quit, let me know if I can help.
put up with it dude. it will last a week or so. after that you'll cruise past 100. you will not be finished by any stretch. LOOT's funks went sorta like this. 70, 125, 250, 400, 750...and nothing since....a couple years ago was the last time it really fuct with LOOT.

notice each time the funck gets spread further and further apart. and the intensity weakens each time to.

when she fucks with you...beat her down and put the boots to that ass.

be strong man. from the PM you sent...you've no doubt dealt with worse.

PM if you need anything.
thanks guys sometimes it feels like i'm rambling but it helps me focus on the goal..a life without nic!
Go Bucks! Quit Date: 12-23-2011

Offline loot

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Re: life choice
« Reply #18 on: September 15, 2009, 09:14:00 AM »
Quote from: willy
Quote from: skoalmonster
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: cdforecheck
Oh hell, I’m now into the third month of my quit, day 61 in about 30 minutes.  I try to think of the positive changes that I have gone through and they are too numerous to count. Yet, to be perfectly honest I am having a rough time right now. Some call it the funk, hell it feels almost like withdraw all over again; anxiety, chills, and the crawling sensations.  The nic bitch is whispering to me and I am fighting the fight, I will not allow her back into my life.  My guard is up and my condition right now is red, my resolve is strong yet at times I am feeling weak.  The damn nic bitch is not holding any punches.  I wonder if I’m sometimes strong enough to do this, but I DO know I am smarter than she can ever be, and avoiding her lure is really crucial for me right now. I have made some changes; I don't go into quickie marts or any other place where I know I can make an impulse buy, I always pay at the pump so I don't even go in, if I have to go in I take one of my kids with me, thank goodness the grocery stores have the shit in a cage and someone has to physically go get it buying more time for the brain to kick in. I hate the bitch telling me just one and that little quiet voice inside says yep, thank God I am strong mentally cause I’m not feeling it physically right now, I must keep the quit though for me and my family, we deserve it. I’ve earned this struggle by letting the nic punk me for 26 years, she will not win.  I will not permit it, I am feeling a bit weak right now which simply means I have keep the guard up.  This shit right now is definitely not for fucking around with, and I will maintain close ties to this site.  KTC has helped me through the worst, and I know it’ll be here now.
Midterm Funk is not unusual. I had a bad case of the "I don't give a shits" about 60 to 70 days. Power through it brother and don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Thanks for sharing your feelings

Kdip
Cdforecheck,

The funk sucks, but caving sucks worse. You ARE strong enough to do this, I know because you already did it 61 days in a row. If you did it 61 times you sure as hell can do it 62 right? I hit the funk early like you and it hurt. I'm no doctor, but I find it interesting that most of us hit it around the same time period in our quit. My personal theory is that it is some internal chemical balancing act that kicks in as our brains begin to heal and rewire themselves. Perhaps its all the shitty little nicotine receptors dying off . More likely its a phase where the "pleasure center" of the brain has to start working without nicotine to produce dopamine. It is too common of an occurence to be psychological and it is well documented here. If not mental then by definition it is a physical thing. Therfore your body can heal it.I dunno, just my theory.
I DO KNOW that it goes away, exercise helped me tremendously during the funk, and I forced myself to get really busy with various projects. This seemed to snap me out of it. The thing to remember is you are quit regardless of the consequences. This includes craves as well as funk. You must endure that shit to have your freedom. Is it worth it? absolutely, it is like getting a head cold. You don't lop off your head when you get one, you know that your going to feel shitty for awhile so you pop some asprin, nyquil, tea or scotch and get on with your life. Sooner or later the cold goes away. Funk is the same way.

Good quit

SM
Hang in there Curt, you got this by the balls.
Stay quit, let me know if I can help.
put up with it dude. it will last a week or so. after that you'll cruise past 100. you will not be finished by any stretch. LOOT's funks went sorta like this. 70, 125, 250, 400, 750...and nothing since....a couple years ago was the last time it really fuct with LOOT.

notice each time the funck gets spread further and further apart. and the intensity weakens each time to.

when she fucks with you...beat her down and put the boots to that ass.

be strong man. from the PM you sent...you've no doubt dealt with worse.

PM if you need anything.

Offline willy

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Re: life choice
« Reply #17 on: September 15, 2009, 01:20:00 AM »
Quote from: skoalmonster
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: cdforecheck
Oh hell, I’m now into the third month of my quit, day 61 in about 30 minutes.  I try to think of the positive changes that I have gone through and they are too numerous to count. Yet, to be perfectly honest I am having a rough time right now. Some call it the funk, hell it feels almost like withdraw all over again; anxiety, chills, and the crawling sensations.  The nic bitch is whispering to me and I am fighting the fight, I will not allow her back into my life.  My guard is up and my condition right now is red, my resolve is strong yet at times I am feeling weak.  The damn nic bitch is not holding any punches.  I wonder if I’m sometimes strong enough to do this, but I DO know I am smarter than she can ever be, and avoiding her lure is really crucial for me right now. I have made some changes; I don't go into quickie marts or any other place where I know I can make an impulse buy, I always pay at the pump so I don't even go in, if I have to go in I take one of my kids with me, thank goodness the grocery stores have the shit in a cage and someone has to physically go get it buying more time for the brain to kick in. I hate the bitch telling me just one and that little quiet voice inside says yep, thank God I am strong mentally cause I’m not feeling it physically right now, I must keep the quit though for me and my family, we deserve it. I’ve earned this struggle by letting the nic punk me for 26 years, she will not win.  I will not permit it, I am feeling a bit weak right now which simply means I have keep the guard up.  This shit right now is definitely not for fucking around with, and I will maintain close ties to this site.  KTC has helped me through the worst, and I know it’ll be here now.
Midterm Funk is not unusual. I had a bad case of the "I don't give a shits" about 60 to 70 days. Power through it brother and don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Thanks for sharing your feelings

Kdip
Cdforecheck,

The funk sucks, but caving sucks worse. You ARE strong enough to do this, I know because you already did it 61 days in a row. If you did it 61 times you sure as hell can do it 62 right? I hit the funk early like you and it hurt. I'm no doctor, but I find it interesting that most of us hit it around the same time period in our quit. My personal theory is that it is some internal chemical balancing act that kicks in as our brains begin to heal and rewire themselves. Perhaps its all the shitty little nicotine receptors dying off . More likely its a phase where the "pleasure center" of the brain has to start working without nicotine to produce dopamine. It is too common of an occurence to be psychological and it is well documented here. If not mental then by definition it is a physical thing. Therfore your body can heal it.I dunno, just my theory.
I DO KNOW that it goes away, exercise helped me tremendously during the funk, and I forced myself to get really busy with various projects. This seemed to snap me out of it. The thing to remember is you are quit regardless of the consequences. This includes craves as well as funk. You must endure that shit to have your freedom. Is it worth it? absolutely, it is like getting a head cold. You don't lop off your head when you get one, you know that your going to feel shitty for awhile so you pop some asprin, nyquil, tea or scotch and get on with your life. Sooner or later the cold goes away. Funk is the same way.

Good quit

SM
Hang in there Curt, you got this by the balls.
Stay quit, let me know if I can help.
buo#633;#653; #647;#305; bu#305;op #477;q #647;#613;b#305;#623; no#654; s#305;#613;#647; bu#305;p#592;#477;#633; #477;#633;#592; no#654; #607;#305;

#477;#607;#305;1 #633;o#607; #647;#305;nb

Offline Skoal Monster

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Re: life choice
« Reply #16 on: September 15, 2009, 12:39:00 AM »
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: cdforecheck
Oh hell, I’m now into the third month of my quit, day 61 in about 30 minutes.  I try to think of the positive changes that I have gone through and they are too numerous to count. Yet, to be perfectly honest I am having a rough time right now. Some call it the funk, hell it feels almost like withdraw all over again; anxiety, chills, and the crawling sensations.  The nic bitch is whispering to me and I am fighting the fight, I will not allow her back into my life.  My guard is up and my condition right now is red, my resolve is strong yet at times I am feeling weak.  The damn nic bitch is not holding any punches.  I wonder if I’m sometimes strong enough to do this, but I DO know I am smarter than she can ever be, and avoiding her lure is really crucial for me right now. I have made some changes; I don't go into quickie marts or any other place where I know I can make an impulse buy, I always pay at the pump so I don't even go in, if I have to go in I take one of my kids with me, thank goodness the grocery stores have the shit in a cage and someone has to physically go get it buying more time for the brain to kick in. I hate the bitch telling me just one and that little quiet voice inside says yep, thank God I am strong mentally cause I’m not feeling it physically right now, I must keep the quit though for me and my family, we deserve it. I’ve earned this struggle by letting the nic punk me for 26 years, she will not win.  I will not permit it, I am feeling a bit weak right now which simply means I have keep the guard up.  This shit right now is definitely not for fucking around with, and I will maintain close ties to this site.  KTC has helped me through the worst, and I know it’ll be here now.
Midterm Funk is not unusual. I had a bad case of the "I don't give a shits" about 60 to 70 days. Power through it brother and don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Thanks for sharing your feelings

Kdip
Cdforecheck,

The funk sucks, but caving sucks worse. You ARE strong enough to do this, I know because you already did it 61 days in a row. If you did it 61 times you sure as hell can do it 62 right? I hit the funk early like you and it hurt. I'm no doctor, but I find it interesting that most of us hit it around the same time period in our quit. My personal theory is that it is some internal chemical balancing act that kicks in as our brains begin to heal and rewire themselves. Perhaps its all the shitty little nicotine receptors dying off . More likely its a phase where the "pleasure center" of the brain has to start working without nicotine to produce dopamine. It is too common of an occurence to be psychological and it is well documented here. If not mental then by definition it is a physical thing. Therfore your body can heal it.I dunno, just my theory.
I DO KNOW that it goes away, exercise helped me tremendously during the funk, and I forced myself to get really busy with various projects. This seemed to snap me out of it. The thing to remember is you are quit regardless of the consequences. This includes craves as well as funk. You must endure that shit to have your freedom. Is it worth it? absolutely, it is like getting a head cold. You don't lop off your head when you get one, you know that your going to feel shitty for awhile so you pop some asprin, nyquil, tea or scotch and get on with your life. Sooner or later the cold goes away. Funk is the same way.

Good quit

SM
"CLOSE THE DOOR. In my opinion, it?s the single most important step in your final quit. There is one moment, THE moment, when you finally let go and surrender to the quit. After that moment, no temptation will be great enough, no lie persuasive enough to make you commit suicide by using tobacco."

Offline Kdip

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Re: life choice
« Reply #15 on: September 14, 2009, 10:31:00 PM »
Quote from: cdforecheck
Oh hell, IÂ’m now into the third month of my quit, day 61 in about 30 minutes. I try to think of the positive changes that I have gone through and they are too numerous to count. Yet, to be perfectly honest I am having a rough time right now. Some call it the funk, hell it feels almost like withdraw all over again; anxiety, chills, and the crawling sensations. The nic bitch is whispering to me and I am fighting the fight, I will not allow her back into my life. My guard is up and my condition right now is red, my resolve is strong yet at times I am feeling weak. The damn nic bitch is not holding any punches. I wonder if IÂ’m sometimes strong enough to do this, but I DO know I am smarter than she can ever be, and avoiding her lure is really crucial for me right now. I have made some changes; I don't go into quickie marts or any other place where I know I can make an impulse buy, I always pay at the pump so I don't even go in, if I have to go in I take one of my kids with me, thank goodness the grocery stores have the shit in a cage and someone has to physically go get it buying more time for the brain to kick in. I hate the bitch telling me just one and that little quiet voice inside says yep, thank God I am strong mentally cause IÂ’m not feeling it physically right now, I must keep the quit though for me and my family, we deserve it. IÂ’ve earned this struggle by letting the nic punk me for 26 years, she will not win. I will not permit it, I am feeling a bit weak right now which simply means I have keep the guard up. This shit right now is definitely not for fucking around with, and I will maintain close ties to this site. KTC has helped me through the worst, and I know itÂ’ll be here now.
Midterm Funk is not unusual. I had a bad case of the "I don't give a shits" about 60 to 70 days. Power through it brother and don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Thanks for sharing your feelings

Kdip

Offline cdforecheck

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Re: life choice
« Reply #14 on: September 14, 2009, 10:26:00 PM »
Oh hell, IÂ’m now into the third month of my quit, day 61 in about 30 minutes. I try to think of the positive changes that I have gone through and they are too numerous to count. Yet, to be perfectly honest I am having a rough time right now. Some call it the funk, hell it feels almost like withdraw all over again; anxiety, chills, and the crawling sensations. The nic bitch is whispering to me and I am fighting the fight, I will not allow her back into my life. My guard is up and my condition right now is red, my resolve is strong yet at times I am feeling weak. The damn nic bitch is not holding any punches. I wonder if IÂ’m sometimes strong enough to do this, but I DO know I am smarter than she can ever be, and avoiding her lure is really crucial for me right now. I have made some changes; I don't go into quickie marts or any other place where I know I can make an impulse buy, I always pay at the pump so I don't even go in, if I have to go in I take one of my kids with me, thank goodness the grocery stores have the shit in a cage and someone has to physically go get it buying more time for the brain to kick in. I hate the bitch telling me just one and that little quiet voice inside says yep, thank God I am strong mentally cause IÂ’m not feeling it physically right now, I must keep the quit though for me and my family, we deserve it. IÂ’ve earned this struggle by letting the nic punk me for 26 years, she will not win. I will not permit it, I am feeling a bit weak right now which simply means I have keep the guard up. This shit right now is definitely not for fucking around with, and I will maintain close ties to this site. KTC has helped me through the worst, and I know itÂ’ll be here now.
Go Bucks! Quit Date: 12-23-2011

Offline loot

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Re: life choice
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2009, 08:44:00 AM »
Quote from: cdforecheck
Just in case anyone missed this....posted aug 30
i never wanted to reach back into a very difficult time in my life and face some really serious shit, i have already done that once and i don't want to look at it again.  smokeyg and i were actually just trading jabs and afterwards i had a very serious case of the oh shits stemming from something totally unrelated to the goals of my quit and i turned the oh shit moment towards the people here and have been trying since friday to sort the shit out.  thanks to all who contacted me it has been very valuable, the kind words, the kicks in the butt, but not knowing the whole past you are all seeing only a tiny portion of what's going on in my head and i don't share it easily, suffice it say that it deals largely with the surgery i had about 3 weeks ago.  as one pm i received stated, sg is merely the tobacco display calling to you to see what you are going to do, while i may not agree with that approach, i played along with him and i understood his "madness" from the beginning.  i have spent the weekend discussing this with my best friend, my wife, she always has great advice and tends to get me when the shit hits the fan and allows me to refocus and ground myself.  she has said to keep posting so i will, she also told me to keep away from verbal and semantic pissing matches (except in word posts) and i think that may be the sagest advice of all.  many of you told me the exact same thing, but it's hard to know what to do when you only see an avi and screen name.  the oddest part of these last few days is that my quit was never in question and i didn't have any craves over the weekend...so to anyone thinking that i was subconscienously sabotaging my quit, your wrong. sorry if i have created stress in here with my shit storm.

Curt(cdforecheck)
thanks for the follow-up

loot don't have time to follow much here anymore

but listen cdforeskin...never...ever...and LOOT means NEVER apologize for taking out your frustrations on this board. you used your resources properly...

this place was created as on outlet of sorts for all kinds of fucked up twisted nicotine addicts. you continue to take out your frustrations on SmokeyLOOTSCock. he is a good quitter. he's got your back.

LOOT talked to ol' Mule yesterday. and the 1st 60 seconds, as alwayss was about the quit. we get that shit out of the way and on the table. yesterday the quit theme was "The shit just wouldn't make anything any better."

be clean friend.

never again. for any reason.

Offline cdforecheck

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Re: life choice
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2009, 07:08:00 PM »
Just in case anyone missed this....posted aug 30
i never wanted to reach back into a very difficult time in my life and face some really serious shit, i have already done that once and i don't want to look at it again. smokeyg and i were actually just trading jabs and afterwards i had a very serious case of the oh shits stemming from something totally unrelated to the goals of my quit and i turned the oh shit moment towards the people here and have been trying since friday to sort the shit out. thanks to all who contacted me it has been very valuable, the kind words, the kicks in the butt, but not knowing the whole past you are all seeing only a tiny portion of what's going on in my head and i don't share it easily, suffice it say that it deals largely with the surgery i had about 3 weeks ago. as one pm i received stated, sg is merely the tobacco display calling to you to see what you are going to do, while i may not agree with that approach, i played along with him and i understood his "madness" from the beginning. i have spent the weekend discussing this with my best friend, my wife, she always has great advice and tends to get me when the shit hits the fan and allows me to refocus and ground myself. she has said to keep posting so i will, she also told me to keep away from verbal and semantic pissing matches (except in word posts) and i think that may be the sagest advice of all. many of you told me the exact same thing, but it's hard to know what to do when you only see an avi and screen name. the oddest part of these last few days is that my quit was never in question and i didn't have any craves over the weekend...so to anyone thinking that i was subconscienously sabotaging my quit, your wrong. sorry if i have created stress in here with my shit storm.

Curt(cdforecheck)
Go Bucks! Quit Date: 12-23-2011

Offline loot

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Re: life choice
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2009, 04:22:00 PM »
Quote from: cdforecheck
My quit and brotherhood
I understand that most vets out there support newbies fully and give graciously their advice and counsel. But those are not the one’s I am writing about now. I am writing about the small number who take glee in watching the new quitter struggle and egg them on and eventually get one or two that finally can’t take the crap being dealt and swing back unleashing a torrent of rage. I sure as hell hope the asses doing this are experts in addiction therapy, because while being extensively non-productive it is also dangerous. The mind of an addict, and here I preach to crowd, is filled with negative messages on a wide range of issues from self-esteem, self-hatred, fears of failure, and rejection. Most addicts become addicts not because they slide slowly into it, they are often filling a void where they perceive that they have no control over their lives, and addiction is a concrete way to have a perception control. We pledge every day in roll to not use that day, we are substituting our addiction with a new form of control and as we replace that we develop that control, the urge to use dangerous substances is lowered, but unfortunately it can never disappear. So we play games here and there, post silly shit, comfort others when they are down, get our anger out, share our successes in non-dipping forums and generally good natured ribbing. When we are in a rough spot, the true “brothers” spring into action; calling, pm’s, e-mails, and posting words of encouragement until the brother’s rough spot is past. This is most of the men and women here. There is another group here however that sees the site as a playground to push around early quitters and seeks to find the weakness and create situations where the new quitter just loses it. The very fact someone is here at shows there is weakness somewhere, no members, except perhaps for a special few, here have said “, I worked my quit all by myself, so now I’m going to invest myself and time in a support system.” It does not matter if a person is on Day 1 or Day 7,000 they are all quitters and none should be hazed or pushed into rage. I am making the decision to phone in roll for next week or so because I am actually afraid for my quit if I continue to see venom and deliberate attempts to ignite rage rather than dampen it. I am and will always remain quit, but when a support system leaves you, you need to step back and reevaluate things.

Curt (cdforecheck)
are you shitting loot?

you've never quit on your own and you're willing to throw away the ONLY support system that's helped?

your first post made loot have a lot of confidence in your quit...this one reminds loot how tenuous this quitting thing is.

there will be assholes on here...always have been...always will be

fuck'em

you let it get under your skin and you lose bro

take what you need and leave the rest

don't be a doosh

Offline Vertex

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Re: life choice
« Reply #10 on: August 30, 2009, 12:47:00 AM »
Quote from: LAQuitter
Quote from: cdforecheck
My quit and brotherhood
I understand that most vets out there support newbies fully and give graciously their advice and counsel.  But those are not the one’s I am writing about now.  I am writing about the small number who take glee in watching the new quitter struggle and egg them on and eventually get  one or two that finally can’t take the crap being dealt and swing back unleashing a torrent of rage.  I sure as hell hope the asses doing this are experts in addiction therapy, because while being extensively non-productive it is also dangerous.  The mind of an addict, and here I preach to crowd, is filled with negative messages on a wide range of issues from self-esteem, self-hatred, fears of failure, and rejection.  Most addicts become addicts not because they slide slowly into it, they are often filling a void where they perceive that they have no control over their lives, and addiction is a concrete way to have a perception control.  We pledge every day in roll to not use that day, we are substituting our addiction with a new form of control and as we replace that we develop that control, the urge to use dangerous substances is lowered, but unfortunately it can never disappear.  So we play games here and there, post silly shit, comfort others when they are down, get our anger out, share our successes in non-dipping forums and generally good natured ribbing.  When we are in a rough spot, the true “brothers” spring into action; calling, pm’s, e-mails, and posting words of encouragement until the brother’s rough spot is past.  This is most of the men and women here.  There is another group here however that sees the site as a playground to push around early quitters and seeks to find the weakness and create situations where the new quitter just loses it. The very fact someone is here at shows there is weakness somewhere, no members, except perhaps for a special few, here have said “, I worked my quit all by myself, so now I’m going to invest myself and time in a support system.”  It does not matter if a person is on Day 1 or Day 7,000 they are all quitters and none should be hazed or pushed into rage.  I am making the decision to phone in roll for next week or so because I am actually afraid for my quit if I continue to see venom and deliberate attempts to ignite rage rather than dampen it.  I am and will always remain quit, but when a support system leaves you, you need to step back and reevaluate things.

Curt (cdforecheck)
You are a solid quitter Curt. Do what you have to do......but please reconsider.

PM me if you need anything.
I concur. You are solid, Curt. Don't let the ramblings of one self-proclaimed hero distract you from the purpose you came aboard. I will respect your choice either way, and invite you to pm / text / call if you need anything. For me, I'm willing to sift through some bullshit here to pull out the nuggets. I know that I don't 'need' this site, I shouldn't 'have to' look further than the eyes of my 5 year old son to get all the encouragement, discipline, desire, and conviction to remain quit. But if I'm struggling, it's nice to know I'm not alone, that someone has been there before me. And while my wife is a wonderful woman and puts up w/ my pissy attitude, she has no 'addictions' of her own and therefore, can't fully understand what it feels like to be a grown man and feel so weak over such a small thing as chew. And like others, I have read your posts of encouragement to new quitters, and believe that you are here as much to here to pay support forward as to receive. For that, I commend you.

If this were high-school, I'd simply advise you to meet this almighty smokeyq by the bike racks and kick his pompous ass, but since this is real life, I'll just encourage you to let it slide, and stay true to yourself and your October quit brothers. Here if you need me!

Vertex

Offline LaQuitter

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Re: life choice
« Reply #9 on: August 29, 2009, 11:04:00 PM »
Quote from: cdforecheck
My quit and brotherhood
I understand that most vets out there support newbies fully and give graciously their advice and counsel. But those are not the one’s I am writing about now. I am writing about the small number who take glee in watching the new quitter struggle and egg them on and eventually get one or two that finally can’t take the crap being dealt and swing back unleashing a torrent of rage. I sure as hell hope the asses doing this are experts in addiction therapy, because while being extensively non-productive it is also dangerous. The mind of an addict, and here I preach to crowd, is filled with negative messages on a wide range of issues from self-esteem, self-hatred, fears of failure, and rejection. Most addicts become addicts not because they slide slowly into it, they are often filling a void where they perceive that they have no control over their lives, and addiction is a concrete way to have a perception control. We pledge every day in roll to not use that day, we are substituting our addiction with a new form of control and as we replace that we develop that control, the urge to use dangerous substances is lowered, but unfortunately it can never disappear. So we play games here and there, post silly shit, comfort others when they are down, get our anger out, share our successes in non-dipping forums and generally good natured ribbing. When we are in a rough spot, the true “brothers” spring into action; calling, pm’s, e-mails, and posting words of encouragement until the brother’s rough spot is past. This is most of the men and women here. There is another group here however that sees the site as a playground to push around early quitters and seeks to find the weakness and create situations where the new quitter just loses it. The very fact someone is here at shows there is weakness somewhere, no members, except perhaps for a special few, here have said “, I worked my quit all by myself, so now I’m going to invest myself and time in a support system.” It does not matter if a person is on Day 1 or Day 7,000 they are all quitters and none should be hazed or pushed into rage. I am making the decision to phone in roll for next week or so because I am actually afraid for my quit if I continue to see venom and deliberate attempts to ignite rage rather than dampen it. I am and will always remain quit, but when a support system leaves you, you need to step back and reevaluate things.

Curt (cdforecheck)
You are a solid quitter Curt. Do what you have to do......but please reconsider.

PM me if you need anything.
Quit: Saturday, May 2, 2009
HOF: Monday, August 10, 2009

La's HOF Speech

"Post roll like 8 pounds 6 ounces... new born infant jesus himself was telling you to do it" - Jaydisco

Offline cdforecheck

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Re: life choice
« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2009, 12:25:00 PM »
My quit and brotherhood
I understand that most vets out there support newbies fully and give graciously their advice and counsel. But those are not the one’s I am writing about now. I am writing about the small number who take glee in watching the new quitter struggle and egg them on and eventually get one or two that finally can’t take the crap being dealt and swing back unleashing a torrent of rage. I sure as hell hope the asses doing this are experts in addiction therapy, because while being extensively non-productive it is also dangerous. The mind of an addict, and here I preach to crowd, is filled with negative messages on a wide range of issues from self-esteem, self-hatred, fears of failure, and rejection. Most addicts become addicts not because they slide slowly into it, they are often filling a void where they perceive that they have no control over their lives, and addiction is a concrete way to have a perception control. We pledge every day in roll to not use that day, we are substituting our addiction with a new form of control and as we replace that we develop that control, the urge to use dangerous substances is lowered, but unfortunately it can never disappear. So we play games here and there, post silly shit, comfort others when they are down, get our anger out, share our successes in non-dipping forums and generally good natured ribbing. When we are in a rough spot, the true “brothers” spring into action; calling, pm’s, e-mails, and posting words of encouragement until the brother’s rough spot is past. This is most of the men and women here. There is another group here however that sees the site as a playground to push around early quitters and seeks to find the weakness and create situations where the new quitter just loses it. The very fact someone is here at shows there is weakness somewhere, no members, except perhaps for a special few, here have said “, I worked my quit all by myself, so now I’m going to invest myself and time in a support system.” It does not matter if a person is on Day 1 or Day 7,000 they are all quitters and none should be hazed or pushed into rage. I am making the decision to phone in roll for next week or so because I am actually afraid for my quit if I continue to see venom and deliberate attempts to ignite rage rather than dampen it. I am and will always remain quit, but when a support system leaves you, you need to step back and reevaluate things.

Curt (cdforecheck)
Go Bucks! Quit Date: 12-23-2011