Day one

[olcpo]

Day 43 - Dank Dark Dreary, can't hardly call it a day 0815 and still need a flashlight. It will only get better, each day a little longer . Motivated, must get motivated. Chew not an issue, each day gets better. Another "Less is More" Day. I wish you the best day yet, Find something to smile about. NIC Free 

[Athan]

I used to walk through the line with a pouch in feeling so smart and better because I wasn't a smoker. Still an idiot but not a smoker. Now I see it's sad.

I cant tell you how much this wisdom resonates with me.  I dont know how long i justified my addiction by comparing myself to those heathens.  Id read the regulations at work that specifically mentioned smokers and laugh at how they were being called out while i could slip under the radar not realizing how pathetic I was all along.

I used to do that too, in theaters, restaurants, planes, even in church. Addiction is as powerful as it is horrible. So very pleased to be free.

[titus01]

I used to walk through the line with a pouch in feeling so smart and better because I wasn't a smoker. Still an idiot but not a smoker. Now I see it's sad.

I cant tell you how much this wisdom resonates with me.  I dont know how long i justified my addiction by comparing myself to those heathens.  Id read the regulations at work that specifically mentioned smokers and laugh at how they were being called out while i could slip under the radar not realizing how pathetic I was all along.

[olcpo]

Day 40 - Seems like years. A lot of living and realization in those days. Paying attention to things that I did not want to realize when I had a lip full of junk. Guilt? Knowing it was stupid and would kill me, yet still sucking on the weed. It seems so obvious now. Went to a basketball game last night at the high school, daughter coaching.  Walking into the school past all the "Tobacco Free Zone" signs, it was a good feeling to finally be in compliance. I remember when the signs started popping up around town, feeling the walls closing in on my revered addiction. I called them Tobacco Nazi's, for trying to eliminate my "choice". Last night walking in, I parked across the street and had to walk through the line of puffers all getting their fix before going in. I used to walk through the line with a pouch in feeling so smart and better because I wasn't a smoker. Still an idiot but not a smoker. Now I see it's sad. The only animal on earth that intentionally harms themselves, and we are supposedly better than the beasts because we have a sense of reason and opposing thumbs. We do have a Choice. I thank God for the Quit. I thank all of the people that make up KTC for the Quit. PTQWYT ODAAT

[EXBEARHAG]

Day 38 - 01/02/20 the winter doldrums are setting in. The sun is shining somewhere, I may have to go find it. Very different weather, 40 and Iced in right now. Probably have to chain up to get out of here and back. Of all the issues, CHEW is not one of them. It is great to see April filling up. The synergy of the quit. A point to ponder regarding the decision to be done with something that will kill you. "It can't happen to me" has to be in everyone's mind that chooses to allow nicotine into their system. Nicotine is right up there with all the nasties of the drug world. It shows up on any list I have seen as one of the most addictive substances on earth. "It can't happen to me" is right in there with Eve sharing the fruit with Adam. We all walk through it. By the time someone finds KilltheCan.org, they are already there. Something caused them to question their sanity/method/reasoning for continuing to slowly poison themselves. We are all on the other side looking back. "It DID happen to me, now what?".

STEP AWAY FROM THE CAN! Sounds easy. The addict brain makes it arduous, seemingly impossible and is relentless in reminding, cajoling, offering relief/escape "one won't hurt" thinking. Quit. I like the term "Quit". Black and white. final. All inclusive. I challenge you to search the definition of "Quit". This little four letter word packs a punch. Some of the list includes "To free, as from something harmful or oppressing; relieve; clear; liberate:" and "To forsake; abandon." Being accountable to others. Most of us have beat ourselves up enough by this point that being accountable to self doesn't hold a whole bunch of value, when we come here. Most of us have quit many times, whats another one, self worth has tanked can't do it, wimp. KTC gives that back to us. "My Quit" suddenly has value. The lurking, reading, "guest" probing, is-this-for-me process that takes place before posting roll is where this value is regained. Hope is offered. "There is a way out" is realized. It isn't easy and here is what you can expect. IT DOES GET BETTER. and we are here to hold you to and help you with YOUR QUIT. "My digits are a PM away. Call Me"
I am Grateful for KTC (I've said it before and will again). Thanks Ya'll

Very well said Olcpo.  It's an honor and a privilege to be quit with you today.  Keep doing what you're doing and hold the line. 
PTBQWYT my friend

[olcpo]

Day 38 - 01/02/20 the winter doldrums are setting in. The sun is shining somewhere, I may have to go find it. Very different weather, 40 and Iced in right now. Probably have to chain up to get out of here and back. Of all the issues, CHEW is not one of them. It is great to see April filling up. The synergy of the quit. A point to ponder regarding the decision to be done with something that will kill you. "It can't happen to me" has to be in everyone's mind that chooses to allow nicotine into their system. Nicotine is right up there with all the nasties of the drug world. It shows up on any list I have seen as one of the most addictive substances on earth. "It can't happen to me" is right in there with Eve sharing the fruit with Adam. We all walk through it. By the time someone finds KilltheCan.org, they are already there. Something caused them to question their sanity/method/reasoning for continuing to slowly poison themselves. We are all on the other side looking back. "It DID happen to me, now what?".

STEP AWAY FROM THE CAN! Sounds easy. The addict brain makes it arduous, seemingly impossible and is relentless in reminding, cajoling, offering relief/escape "one won't hurt" thinking. Quit. I like the term "Quit". Black and white. final. All inclusive. I challenge you to search the definition of "Quit". This little four letter word packs a punch. Some of the list includes "To free, as from something harmful or oppressing; relieve; clear; liberate:" and "To forsake; abandon." Being accountable to others. Most of us have beat ourselves up enough by this point that being accountable to self doesn't hold a whole bunch of value, when we come here. Most of us have quit many times, whats another one, self worth has tanked can't do it, wimp. KTC gives that back to us. "My Quit" suddenly has value. The lurking, reading, "guest" probing, is-this-for-me process that takes place before posting roll is where this value is regained. Hope is offered. "There is a way out" is realized. It isn't easy and here is what you can expect. IT DOES GET BETTER. and we are here to hold you to and help you with YOUR QUIT. "My digits are a PM away. Call Me"
I am Grateful for KTC (I've said it before and will again). Thanks Ya'll

[chitownsnus]

Day 36 - New Year's Eve, Happy New Yew Year to all who stop by. So, this is where we reflect back over the year. Of all that went on, the big news is that I AM QUIT! Wouldn't have thought it last year. Part of life/anatomy, inhale/exhale/chew... What's kewl is I don't miss it. I had a chew dream last night. Woke up scared, pissed, angry, disappointed...Then I really woke up...relieved and grateful it was only a dream. It was so real and nothing good about it. I am glad the negative emotions were so strong. To me that says a cave is ways off, still there, but a ways off. Continue to build the defenses and stay the watch. It really is a battle. All lose in any battle, even the "winner". My loss in this battle is the years spent and lost sucking on tobacco stuff, lungs and lip. This is my second chance. I have won this battle, the war rages on. It is the ending of the not good, it is the beginning of the good. Now, what are you gonna do with it? 2020, normal vision, a new start with clear sight. Clear sight to make good choices.

Love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind and soul AND Love my neighbor as myself THEN #1. ODAAT the Quit. #2. Start the day WUPP and do devotion. #3. Choose the healthy side, particularly food and activity. #4. One good project per day, more doing less sitting. #5. Repeat.

Thank you for being KilltheCan.org! Extremely thankful all of you are here! I wish all of those that make up KTC a victorious New Year One Day at a Time.

Happy New Year!  What a great way (QUIT) to enter into a new day, a new month, a new year, and a new decade.  May your positive thoughts and wins continue into the next year. PTQWYT

I agree Andy! The quit is strong in this one. Proud to be quit with you today!

[AndyCan]

Day 36 - New Year's Eve, Happy New Yew Year to all who stop by. So, this is where we reflect back over the year. Of all that went on, the big news is that I AM QUIT! Wouldn't have thought it last year. Part of life/anatomy, inhale/exhale/chew... What's kewl is I don't miss it. I had a chew dream last night. Woke up scared, pissed, angry, disappointed...Then I really woke up...relieved and grateful it was only a dream. It was so real and nothing good about it. I am glad the negative emotions were so strong. To me that says a cave is ways off, still there, but a ways off. Continue to build the defenses and stay the watch. It really is a battle. All lose in any battle, even the "winner". My loss in this battle is the years spent and lost sucking on tobacco stuff, lungs and lip. This is my second chance. I have won this battle, the war rages on. It is the ending of the not good, it is the beginning of the good. Now, what are you gonna do with it? 2020, normal vision, a new start with clear sight. Clear sight to make good choices.

Love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind and soul AND Love my neighbor as myself THEN #1. ODAAT the Quit. #2. Start the day WUPP and do devotion. #3. Choose the healthy side, particularly food and activity. #4. One good project per day, more doing less sitting. #5. Repeat.

Thank you for being KilltheCan.org! Extremely thankful all of you are here! I wish all of those that make up KTC a victorious New Year One Day at a Time.

Happy New Year!  What a great way (QUIT) to enter into a new day, a new month, a new year, and a new decade.  May your positive thoughts and wins continue into the next year. PTQWYT

[olcpo]

Day 36 - New Year's Eve, Happy New Yew Year to all who stop by. So, this is where we reflect back over the year. Of all that went on, the big news is that I AM QUIT! Wouldn't have thought it last year. Part of life/anatomy, inhale/exhale/chew... What's kewl is I don't miss it. I had a chew dream last night. Woke up scared, pissed, angry, disappointed...Then I really woke up...relieved and grateful it was only a dream. It was so real and nothing good about it. I am glad the negative emotions were so strong. To me that says a cave is ways off, still there, but a ways off. Continue to build the defenses and stay the watch. It really is a battle. All lose in any battle, even the "winner". My loss in this battle is the years spent and lost sucking on tobacco stuff, lungs and lip. This is my second chance. I have won this battle, the war rages on. It is the ending of the not good, it is the beginning of the good. Now, what are you gonna do with it? 2020, normal vision, a new start with clear sight. Clear sight to make good choices.

Love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind and soul AND Love my neighbor as myself THEN #1. ODAAT the Quit. #2. Start the day WUPP and do devotion. #3. Choose the healthy side, particularly food and activity. #4. One good project per day, more doing less sitting. #5. Repeat.

Thank you for being KilltheCan.org! Extremely thankful all of you are here! I wish all of those that make up KTC a victorious New Year One Day at a Time.

[Keith0617]

Day 35 - Good Day. Went to the big city to stock up on supplies for the month. The trip always makes me grateful and thankful l live where I do, a mountainside 60 miles from there. I could feel the rage creeping in a few times, as I encountered some of the local fauna on their daily migration. This time though it was more as an observer and it didn't get away from me. So it all, and I mean "All", gets better as promised by the Vets of KTC. Thanks Ya'll!

ODAAT. Stay loyal to the routine.

[olcpo]

Day 35 - Good Day. Went to the big city to stock up on supplies for the month. The trip always makes me grateful and thankful l live where I do, a mountainside 60 miles from there. I could feel the rage creeping in a few times, as I encountered some of the local fauna on their daily migration. This time though it was more as an observer and it didn't get away from me. So it all, and I mean "All", gets better as promised by the Vets of KTC. Thanks Ya'll!

[olcpo]

Day 34 Snowing. Went up the mountain yesterday, climbed to the sun. Good Day. Today, Less is more.

[Athan]

... Each day of quit is priceless. ...

This is priceless, the appreciation of freedom.  I have become like a fish, taking for granted the water within which I swim. I suppose that's the real benefit of sticking around and helping others along in their journey; I get to relive the birth of freedom vicariously. I am reminded of just how strong and unpleasant were my own chains.

[olcpo]

Day 32 Good Day, No issues to speak of. Went for a short walk to the base of the mountain. Cold, but tolerable. Put on enough layers til the sweat starts. Didn't go over board with the food. Sitting more than I should.

@Athan mentioned in a reply that "My quit was growing stale; I have lost perspective." That is scary. His quit date is Jan 1, 2018, coming up on 2 years, well over 700 days. So my question to self is "What can be done to remain current and viable?". What appears to work, looking at the numbers posted each morning, is to post roll (wupp) and remain active on the site. These folks are involved in the workings of the site, the ssoa and the chat room. It seems as though each finds their niche, follow certain newbies and provide unconditional support. Being involved in a new quit would help to bring back the struggle we all went through, reminding us of why we are here and that we don't want to go back through that again. "Accountability Forum" is a title that raised questions for me and caused me to look at and into KilltheCan.org. Now I am quit. Being accountable to those that invest in us is a huge incentive to not cave. I do not want to disappoint someone that has expressed concern, empathy and support in me and my effort. I have disappointed myself many times in these 64 years, used to that, not a hindrance. But someone else? Ain't going there. Then the process/gauntlet/grinder a person goes through when they show up again and post "day 1". To all that have gone through that, You have my utmost respect. The level of introspection the vets force you through is formidable, but essential. Getting to the core of your quit and the circumstances of the cave must be essential to sustain the retread process.

So back to the "remaining viable and fresh" question. Writing this stuff out helps me, putting my thoughts out there causes me to own them and accept responsibility for what I say. The "likes" of those that pass through these ramblings are priceless. They mean a great deal to me when I see them on these posts, I guess they validate what I am writing/feeling and that someone else read the stuff. They are not reason I throw this stuff out there, more like a bonus. Thanks. I read what others leave throughout the KTC site and always come away with nothing but respect for their quit.

33 days isn't much compared to... Each day of quit is priceless. One Day At A Time, ODAAT, is my current plan. The days will add up. Celebrating the lack of chew and all the crap that went with it. Celebrating the clear head, no headache, lack of or diminished frequency of craves and living the victories and trials of other Quit Sisters and Brothers is the freshening breeze that disrupts the fog of mundanity causing us to notice the bright "now" and not diminish the murky cauldron of "then". Thanks Athan for inspiring this bolus of blather. Proud to quit with all of you today.
'nuff said

[Athan]

So I walk North until I feel the sun on my face, unless its cloudy like today, then walk up the mountain. ...

The Truth is the Truth whether I choose to believe it or not.

Thanks for the imagery, it's like I'm there with you.  My older brother has 50 acres at the base of Mount Mansfield in Vermont. It's a scene right out of a post card. Your blog took me back there. Alas, I'm free while he remains a slave.
Love the quote on truth.  There IS such as thing as objective reality.
If you jump off of a bridge and don't believe in gravity - you still fall.
And before you go kersplat, you will become cognizant that the universe exists outside of and independent of your perception, all the while including you in it.
But that's another class. Rather enjoy your blogging it out.  My quit was growing stale; I have lost perspective. Thanks for writing it out, taking the time to share it with and edify us all.
IQWYT

Thanks @Athan. I appreciate your kind words and your musings on the congealed synapses of the muddled mind of mine. "Kersplat" What a word! one you can hear and feel, I love words with texture, like ooze... and now Kersplat...Kersplat...raining jello...Better get out of here and head for the mountain...