Welcome to the fold, GJCB.
You mentioned in your intro that your mind beat you in the past. Here's the thing, though. That wasn't your mind; that was the Nicodemon in your mind, controlling you. To beat the demon, you've got to get hard. You've got to get mean with yourself. Fight, dammit. It's YOUR life!
Ask yourself, "Do I want to keep allowing this thing, this evil, deadly worm dirt, to control my life? How many more days are my balls gonna be in that can?" TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK.
ODAAT. One Day At A Time. Buddy, that's all we at KTC expect of you. We don't ask you to promise next week or next year or even tomorrow. Just today. 24 hours.
Now, that life you're taking back is gonna suck for a while. You're gonna go through some mental, physical, and emotional shitstorms for a while. Ride it out. Now you're among people who've been right where you are. Hell, we're all still there. We may have more days quit, but we're all just one dip away from day 1. We're addicts, just like you.
Post up in October. There are some great new quitters there who'd welcome another quit brother. Trade digits with them and with some vets. As Chris said, those digits are lifelines.
If your quit demands you to walk through hell, walk like you own the place. Stay hard, and stay quit.
GS9502/Matthew