I am an addict and can't stop. I came to Kill the Can way back when, oh, it must be about 9 years now, when a group from another quit site established this site. I was in ACORD. Then I caved after over a year. Since then, I have been a serial caver. I have since re-joined several times after and failed in my quit. I am a serial caver. Let me tell you that it's not any better on this side, being a serial caver. I am weak and ashamed that I can't do this.
I know that I would not be welcome back to any pre-HOF groups, as well as it should be. I am going to do a self pre-HOF myself and take it day by day. My chances of success are slim. I have made it to the fourth floor twice and failed. I have no business asking for support of any one here. I let all the people in the many groups that I was with down. I cannot support them. In fact, the admins here may choose to delete this post and banish me from the site. I can understand that. Hopefully that doesnt happen so I can use all of the resources of this site and all that I think I have learned about caving, and serial caving to stop.
I remember when I was quit, and just driving by c-stores. I loved that feeling. I don't know if I'll be able to do it. The odds are against me. But, I have to do it for me. Maybe that's what it takes.