Author Topic: Kybo  (Read 9279 times)

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Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #172 on: April 01, 2020, 01:19:38 PM »
I bump the below text back up to the top of my Intro Page every once in awhile because I honestly think that the moment the thoughts below originally went through my mind (way back in March of 2018), is the exact moment that I finally understood and accepted the enormity of my addiction.  I bump it up mostly to help me remember where I have been.  But, maybe, just maybe, it might help flip the switch of recognition for another addict too.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As I lay wide awake last night staring at the ceiling and thinking about all the words of wisdom I have garnered from KTC in the last couple months, I found myself thinking about why KTC works for me. And I just kept coming back to one of my favorite quotes. I have never thought about this quote before from an addict’s perspective, but after last night I will probably never think of it in any other way again.

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."  George Santayana

Perhaps George Santayana was a recovering addict himself. It sure sounds like he knew a thing or two about the subject. I can't tell you how many times I have failed in my attempts to quit in the past because I let myself forget just how addicted I am to the nicotine bitch.

George Santayana (1863-1952) was a Spanish born American author and philosopher. It is believed the above quote originated with George, but I have seen some sources that think the quote pre dates George by a few years. For me, it doesn’t really matter who said it first. The words of wisdom contained in the quote should be something memorized by every single addict that is working on recovery. Because when you truly see those words for what they are, you will understand those eleven words are actually a map that will guide any and all recovering addicts to the elusive treasure we all seek. And that treasure is none other than freedom from the chains of addiction.

So, why does KTC work and what does KTC mean to me?

Whether you use KTC to post and ghost roll every day or you fully engorge yourself with gallons and gallons of the kool aid, the successful recovering addict is using KTC to remember their past. They may not consciously realize what they are doing, but they are keeping their addiction front and center in their thoughts every time they visit KTC. By doing this, they are lessening the chance they will repeat their past failures. The daily ritual of visiting KTC keeps us from forgetting that we are addicts. It stops complacency dead in her tracks. And thus it keeps us from falling back down the rabbit hole we call addiction. For some people, simply visiting and posting roll every day is enough. Others may need to interact a little more. And still others may need to completely submerge themselves in the refreshing waters of brotherhood. Every one of us is different and every one of us is the same. Some need the phone calls and the accountability, others just need a safe place to read and reflect.

KTC may mean different things to different people. But, it also means the same thing to all of us. I will never forget where I have been, and I will never forget why I left. That is the pledge I silently make to myself every morning when I post roll call in April ‘18. Because I know if I ever let myself forget that I am an addict I will soon find myself on my proverbial knees again suckling at the teat of Big Tobacco.

I will never let myself forget because I do not want to repeat my past.
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/20

Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #171 on: March 27, 2020, 10:20:43 PM »
Day 808

The parking lot is empty.  I am sitting here in the office by myself and answering the phones and emails as needed.

As depressing as things are getting, I still have lots of reasons to be thankful.  I am not going to bore anyone with listing them all out one by one.  But, I will mention that I am extremely thankful for not having to worry about whether I have enough chew stockpiled to make it through a prolonged quarantine.

Hang tough, man.  Honored to quit with you.

Reach out man if you need anything. People here care about you. It will get better.
Nice work man

I am doing good, guys.  I didn’t mean to freak anybody out.  Apparently I am “essential.”

Although this Covid-19 bullshit is making my life a little more difficult, I still have it better than most.  I have sent everyone else home at my office and I have been working by myself for the last week.  We have shut down one of our facilities completely and our other two are operating on reduced schedules.

I have a steady job that isn’t going anywhere and the other business that my wife and I own hasn’t suffered too much yet.  So, we still have two sources of income rolling in.  It is just really weird not having anybody else in my office every day.

That Intro update was just me expressing how much worse this bullshit would have been for me if I still had to worry about how much chew I had stockpiled.  Thank God I don’t have to worry about that any more.  The biggest thing I am worried about right now is how much this is going to impact my investment portfolio.  I was hoping to retire from my job in 2025 and go to part time in our other business to help my wife.  This bullshit may push me back another couple years.  But, in the grand scheme of things that isn’t really that big of a deal.

I love you guys and it means a lot to me that you guys were worried about me.  But, I am fine.
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/20

Offline FISHFLORIDA

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #170 on: March 27, 2020, 03:59:09 PM »
Day 808

The parking lot is empty.  I am sitting here in the office by myself and answering the phones and emails as needed.

As depressing as things are getting, I still have lots of reasons to be thankful.  I am not going to bore anyone with listing them all out one by one.  But, I will mention that I am extremely thankful for not having to worry about whether I have enough chew stockpiled to make it through a prolonged quarantine.

Hang tough, man.  Honored to quit with you.

Reach out man if you need anything. People here care about you. It will get better.
Nice work man
Just one is right back to where you were and where you were was desperately wishing you were where you are now.- Via Flip
"But KNOW that quitting every day means that eventually you'll have to quit on the day Lassie kicks the bucket" - ZAM
"It’s hard to understand why anyone thinks they’re cured after any point from any addiction.  Do your chances of staying clean the longer you abstain increase?  Yes.  But man, life is a long road full of many curves and pitfalls, and I’m sure as shit going to hold on to the constant that got me to where I am for as long as I can.  I’m sure at some point or another, we’ll all get tired of posting, or die off, or the world will come to an end, but as long as it’s working and stays easy, why leave?" - AndyCan
My Intro
My HOF Speech

Offline Keith0617

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #169 on: March 27, 2020, 09:35:09 AM »
Day 808

The parking lot is empty.  I am sitting here in the office by myself and answering the phones and emails as needed.

As depressing as things are getting, I still have lots of reasons to be thankful.  I am not going to bore anyone with listing them all out one by one.  But, I will mention that I am extremely thankful for not having to worry about whether I have enough chew stockpiled to make it through a prolonged quarantine.

Hang tough, man.  Honored to quit with you.

Reach out man if you need anything. People here care about you. It will get better.
Jan19

Offline worktowin

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #168 on: March 27, 2020, 09:16:07 AM »
Day 808

The parking lot is empty.  I am sitting here in the office by myself and answering the phones and emails as needed.

As depressing as things are getting, I still have lots of reasons to be thankful.  I am not going to bore anyone with listing them all out one by one.  But, I will mention that I am extremely thankful for not having to worry about whether I have enough chew stockpiled to make it through a prolonged quarantine.

Hang tough, man.  Honored to quit with you. 

Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #167 on: March 24, 2020, 11:38:13 AM »
Day 808

The parking lot is empty.  I am sitting here in the office by myself and answering the phones and emails as needed.

As depressing as things are getting, I still have lots of reasons to be thankful.  I am not going to bore anyone with listing them all out one by one.  But, I will mention that I am extremely thankful for not having to worry about whether I have enough chew stockpiled to make it through a prolonged quarantine. 
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/20

Offline Athan

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #166 on: March 16, 2020, 06:40:55 AM »
Anyone seen Hundy? I heard Kybo ate him. That's right, Kybo ate Hundy!
Kybo my man! I knew you'd do it! up an slayed the can, one day at a time your impervious plan, don'tcha know I'm your biggest fan!
"I hope you find a thousand reasons to quit today" Rawls
"I can't quit for you. I will quit with you" Ready
"There are two dogs in the fight, which one are you feeding?" SuperDave9000
"In the Navy we had morning muster. You never miss muster. You better be dead if you miss. If you are dying, you should have started crawling earlier, no excuse." Olcpo

The Science of Addiction
The Law of Addiction
The Road Called Recovery
My Intro and HOF Speech
Quitters I've met: Cbird, UncleRico, Gregor, KDip, Broccoli-saurus, Croakenhagen, BriagG, Koba, Kodiakdeath, Arrakisdq, McDave….

Offline Skolvikings

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #165 on: March 16, 2020, 12:01:33 AM »
Anyone seen Hundy? I heard Kybo ate him. That's right, Kybo ate Hundy!
Be humble... grow everyday.

I fear I will always be chasing the vortex like a drug. None will be as special as my first hit.

MY HOF SPEECH

Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #164 on: January 16, 2020, 11:37:05 AM »
Day 740

I have been working on some annual reports this morning and I finally decided to take a little break and browse the KTC website a little.  I stumbled on this gem that I posted on my intro way back before I had even been quit for 100 days.  I was doing some serious soul searching back in those early days and I often found it very therapeutic to write some of it down.  I have since deleted some of those early entries to reduce the clutter, but I did keep some of the ones that I thought might someday be relevant to my future self.

In light of some of the discussions I have seen here and there over the last few weeks I am going to bump this entry from March 2018 up to the top. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   

Nothing to see in today's post. Just a few ramblings from my sleep deprived mind.

There has been a lot of really deep discussions on various forums at KTC over the last few days. I am talking about the good stuff that makes you look deep in your soul and think about who you are, what you are doing, and where you want to go. One of the topics that I have seen discussed in a few different places are variations of the theme “why KTC works or what KTC means to me.” At first glance these two things may seem completely different, but I would argue they are one and the same for most of the addicts using KTC to strengthen their quit.

As I lay wide awake last night staring at the ceiling and thinking about all the words of wisdom I have garnered from KTC in the last couple months, I found myself thinking about why KTC works for me. And I just kept coming back to one of my favorite quotes. I have never thought about this quote before from an addict’s perspective, but after last night I will probably never think of it in any other way again.

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."  George Santayana

Perhaps George Santayana was a recovering addict himself. It sure sounds like he knew a thing or two about the subject. I can't tell you how many times I have failed in my attempts to quit in the past because I let myself forget just how addicted I am to the nicotine bitch.

George Santayana (1863-1952) was a Spanish born American author and philosopher. It is believed the above quote originated with George, but I have seen some sources that think the quote pre dates George by a few years. For me, it doesn’t really matter who said it first. The words of wisdom contained in the quote should be something memorized by every single addict that is working on recovery. Because when you truly see those words for what they are, you will understand those eleven words are actually a map that will guide any and all recovering addicts to the elusive treasure we all seek. And that treasure is none other than freedom from the chains of addiction.

So, why does KTC work and what does KTC mean to me?

Whether you use KTC to post and ghost roll every day or you fully engorge yourself with gallons and gallons of the kool aid, the successful recovering addict is using KTC to remember their past. They may not consciously realize what they are doing, but they are keeping their addiction front and center in their thoughts every time they visit KTC. By doing this, they are lessening the chance they will repeat their past failures. The daily ritual of visiting KTC keeps us from forgetting that we are addicts. It stops complacency dead in her tracks. And thus it keeps us from falling back down the rabbit hole we call addiction. For some people, simply visiting and posting roll every day is enough. Others may need to interact a little more. And still others may need to completely submerge themselves in the refreshing waters of brotherhood. Every one of us is different and every one of us is the same. Some need the phone calls and the accountability, others just need a safe place to read and reflect.

KTC may mean different things to different people. But, it also means the same thing to all of us. I will never forget where I have been, and I will never forget why I left. That is the pledge I silently make to myself every morning when I post roll call in April ‘18. Because I know if I ever let myself forget that I am an addict I will soon find myself on my proverbial knees again suckling at the teat of Big Tobacco.

I will never let myself forget because I do not want to repeat my past.
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/20

Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #163 on: January 10, 2020, 07:47:10 AM »
Just rolled into northern Wisconsin for a few days of ice fishing.  The ice is looking a little thin!
OOPS
“Hey y’all...Watch this!!”
Have fun brother.

It was all good.  There were a couple vehicles that went thru the ice in the area while we were there, but we never had any problems.  Of course, we didn't drive our truck out onto the ice.  Most places we went had at least 3" of good ice with 4"-8" of slushy/cloudy ice on top of it.  We found some places that had 8" of good ice and we found other places that still had open water.  You just had to be smart about it.  That was our first visit to Rhinelander and we thoroughly enjoyed the community.  We caught a little bit of everything, but nothing to get overly excited about.  We are already talking about going back next winter.

734 days quit today!   
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/20

Offline Dawgs

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #162 on: January 02, 2020, 08:39:10 PM »
Just rolled into northern Wisconsin for a few days of ice fishing.  The ice is looking a little thin!
OOPS
“Hey y’all...Watch this!!”
Have fun brother.

Offline Athan

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #161 on: January 02, 2020, 01:16:01 AM »
Just rolled into northern Wisconsin for a few days of ice fishing.  The ice is looking a little thin!
OOPS
"I hope you find a thousand reasons to quit today" Rawls
"I can't quit for you. I will quit with you" Ready
"There are two dogs in the fight, which one are you feeding?" SuperDave9000
"In the Navy we had morning muster. You never miss muster. You better be dead if you miss. If you are dying, you should have started crawling earlier, no excuse." Olcpo

The Science of Addiction
The Law of Addiction
The Road Called Recovery
My Intro and HOF Speech
Quitters I've met: Cbird, UncleRico, Gregor, KDip, Broccoli-saurus, Croakenhagen, BriagG, Koba, Kodiakdeath, Arrakisdq, McDave….

Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #160 on: January 01, 2020, 11:01:40 PM »
Just rolled into northern Wisconsin for a few days of ice fishing.  The ice is looking a little thin! 
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/20

Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #159 on: December 27, 2019, 09:32:31 AM »
Here are a couple informative links I stumbled on today when I was looking for something else.  Some of you "lurkers" that haven't made the decision to quit might want to check them out.  This is the kind of information I was looking for on the web when I finally decided to change my life for the better.  Today is day 720 days free for me after chewing for 35 years.  If I can quit so can you.  It did take a few months but I definitely feel better than I have in decades. 

https://www.deltadental.com/us/en/protect-my-smile/overall-health/smokeless-tobacco.html

https://www.cancer.org/healthy/stay-away-from-tobacco/guide-quitting-smoking/staying-tobacco-free-after-you-quit-smoking.html
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/20

Offline Skolvikings

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Re: Kybo
« Reply #158 on: December 08, 2019, 12:39:59 AM »
You are a pillar in April and I am blessed to be able to call you my brother.

7 handy looks damn good on you!!!
Be humble... grow everyday.

I fear I will always be chasing the vortex like a drug. None will be as special as my first hit.

MY HOF SPEECH