This Time Is For Real

Started by Candoit, September 17, 2018, 10:45:54 AM

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Candoit

Yesterday was 200 days since the wife told me she thought it was over. I saw that late last night, and have been thinking about how far I have come as a person.

I still have much more to go, but I am grateful for that. I am grateful I get the chance to learn and be happy with out the nic bitch control my life and my choices. I am making the choices based on what I need to do for my family and me. That is a calming freedom that I have earned, but know its a bad choice away from ending.
There are no circumstances in which using nicotine will improve the outcome.

My journey. The best part it is not over yet.

Candoit

I am doing two new things...

1. 24 hours with no negative talk or actions. I set my timer on my phone for 24 hours and restart every time I am negative. My current best is 4 hours.

2. Making a list of the things I have to do today. The one that gives me the greatest axenity, is the one I do first.

I want to be able to do both to completion every day.
There are no circumstances in which using nicotine will improve the outcome.

My journey. The best part it is not over yet.

Rawls

Quote from: I'm
Quote from: CandoitToday is a new day. Some how it feels like I am back to some place I was before. I have a sense of hesitation that I have not felt in a long time. Using KTC as an escape and grasping at something that I am searching for. I dont yet know what that is, but only one way to find out, move forward.
One thing I like about you is your refusal to give up. You've gone through some shit this last year and yet the thing that has probably helped you the most is that you keep "moving forward". You've continued to post roll AND support even when you needed it yourself. I have 100% faith in the strength of your quit and the fact that you will stay a pillar of KTC for a long long time. If you left I'd be making another road trip. QLF with you EDD!
If you knock, the door will be opened. Those who search.... Will find the Truth.
Rawls 460
I believe.....

I'm done with chew

Quote from: CandoitToday is a new day. Some how it feels like I am back to some place I was before. I have a sense of hesitation that I have not felt in a long time. Using KTC as an escape and grasping at something that I am searching for. I dont yet know what that is, but only one way to find out, move forward.
One thing I like about you is your refusal to give up. You've gone through some shit this last year and yet the thing that has probably helped you the most is that you keep "moving forward". You've continued to post roll AND support even when you needed it yourself. I have 100% faith in the strength of your quit and the fact that you will stay a pillar of KTC for a long long time. If you left I'd be making another road trip. QLF with you EDD!

Candoit

Today is a new day. Some how it feels like I am back to some place I was before. I have a sense of hesitation that I have not felt in a long time. Using KTC as an escape and grasping at something that I am searching for. I dont yet know what that is, but only one way to find out, move forward.
There are no circumstances in which using nicotine will improve the outcome.

My journey. The best part it is not over yet.

Candoit

Today is the first time in a long time I spent the better part of the day on KTC. I have to say, it is what I needed to refocus. KTC is what you need when you need it.

Those that read this at 400+ days hopefully understand at least the basics of that.

Those that are 100..... feel, touch, taste and live your quit with every fiber of your being. When the easy times come do not stop investing, for the more you have in the bank to live on in the tough times the easier it is.

Do not be pennywise and dollar foolish with your quit.
There are no circumstances in which using nicotine will improve the outcome.

My journey. The best part it is not over yet.

Candoit

All other beginnings come from some others beginnings end. Just heard the song, needed to add to the tombs for later reference.
There are no circumstances in which using nicotine will improve the outcome.

My journey. The best part it is not over yet.

Candoit

Quote from: Steakbomb18
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Dipbegone
Quote from: CandoitGoing to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well...

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
I couldn't agree more; your reasons at 535 are different than 100. The new quit crews need guidance from guys like you. I know early in our quits you, Kramer, Norm, et al kept me on tilt...which is exactly what I needed. Stay, Post, and keep guiding new quitters.

At day 100 it was about Candy alone, now you have the power to helps hundreds quit every year!

Thanks for everything!!
I'll give you a reason candy, Me and 1000's more have learned the true meaning of quit from you and we were reminded numerous times quitting ktc is not an option. If you're looking for some coddling, I'm trying to find a quitter you coddled, its not happening! Now as far as everyone liking you on here,who gives a shit, stay quit and don't you ever let anyone tell you that you're nothing less than one badass son of a bitch of a quitter! To hell with the rest ,in my book you're one of the best! Quit on my friend and I look forward to seeing your post for many years to come!
Dipbegone, Pab and Jack I am not going anywhere today or tomorrow. It is a daily promise and I will continue to post as long as I can.

I am not looking for velvet gloves or special treatment. Just documenting it for people to know that they aren't alone, and the path is clear.
Whoever this Kramer guy (and I hope he reads this) needs a good ol' fashioned homer simpson to Bart neck choke.

"it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world."

I totally agree, this is pure addict speak, and frankly its just plain asinine. A statement like that comes from somebody who hasn't learned a thing about quitting. I don't care if that person is at day 1,000 ...saying that posting roll is not imperative or (basically) "optional" tells me that said person is a pre-caver; meaning at any given point they could cave because they didn't care enough to make a promise.

For anyone out there reading this, if you learn anything about quitting, take away one thing. Post roll every day. The second you let your resolve and vigilance slip, is the second you compromise everything. Remember: posting roll is posting a promise for you. If you stop caring about you, then all is lost. Everyone who depends on you being quit, depends on you caring enough about yourself to post roll every day.
Steakbomb....you and Kramer are saying the samething. That would be my fault for not providing enough context.
There are no circumstances in which using nicotine will improve the outcome.

My journey. The best part it is not over yet.

Steakbomb18

Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Dipbegone
Quote from: CandoitGoing to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well...

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
I couldn't agree more; your reasons at 535 are different than 100. The new quit crews need guidance from guys like you. I know early in our quits you, Kramer, Norm, et al kept me on tilt...which is exactly what I needed. Stay, Post, and keep guiding new quitters.

At day 100 it was about Candy alone, now you have the power to helps hundreds quit every year!

Thanks for everything!!
I'll give you a reason candy, Me and 1000's more have learned the true meaning of quit from you and we were reminded numerous times quitting ktc is not an option. If you're looking for some coddling, I'm trying to find a quitter you coddled, its not happening! Now as far as everyone liking you on here,who gives a shit, stay quit and don't you ever let anyone tell you that you're nothing less than one badass son of a bitch of a quitter! To hell with the rest ,in my book you're one of the best! Quit on my friend and I look forward to seeing your post for many years to come!
Dipbegone, Pab and Jack I am not going anywhere today or tomorrow. It is a daily promise and I will continue to post as long as I can.

I am not looking for velvet gloves or special treatment. Just documenting it for people to know that they aren't alone, and the path is clear.
Whoever this Kramer guy (and I hope he reads this) needs a good ol' fashioned homer simpson to Bart neck choke.

"it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world."

I totally agree, this is pure addict speak, and frankly its just plain asinine. A statement like that comes from somebody who hasn't learned a thing about quitting. I don't care if that person is at day 1,000 ...saying that posting roll is not imperative or (basically) "optional" tells me that said person is a pre-caver; meaning at any given point they could cave because they didn't care enough to make a promise.

For anyone out there reading this, if you learn anything about quitting, take away one thing. Post roll every day. The second you let your resolve and vigilance slip, is the second you compromise everything. Remember: posting roll is posting a promise for you. If you stop caring about you, then all is lost. Everyone who depends on you being quit, depends on you caring enough about yourself to post roll every day.
Certified Grade A Badass

Candoit

Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Dipbegone
Quote from: CandoitGoing to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well..."it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world. However that leaves the door open."

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
I couldn't agree more; your reasons at 535 are different than 100. The new quit crews need guidance from guys like you. I know early in our quits you, Kramer, Norm, et al kept me on tilt...which is exactly what I needed. Stay, Post, and keep guiding new quitters.

At day 100 it was about Candy alone, now you have the power to helps hundreds quit every year!

Thanks for everything!!
I'll give you a reason candy, Me and 1000's more have learned the true meaning of quit from you and we were reminded numerous times quitting ktc is not an option. If you're looking for some coddling, I'm trying to find a quitter you coddled, its not happening! Now as far as everyone liking you on here,who gives a shit, stay quit and don't you ever let anyone tell you that you're nothing less than one badass son of a bitch of a quitter! To hell with the rest ,in my book you're one of the best! Quit on my friend and I look forward to seeing your post for many years to come!
Dipbegone, Pab and Jack I am not going anywhere today or tomorrow. It is a daily promise and I will continue to post as long as I can.

I am not looking for velvet gloves or special treatment. Just documenting it for people to know that they aren't alone, and the path is clear.
There are no circumstances in which using nicotine will improve the outcome.

My journey. The best part it is not over yet.

pab1964

Quote from: Dipbegone
Quote from: CandoitGoing to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well..."it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world. However that leaves the door open."

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
I couldn't agree more; your reasons at 535 are different than 100. The new quit crews need guidance from guys like you. I know early in our quits you, Kramer, Norm, et al kept me on tilt...which is exactly what I needed. Stay, Post, and keep guiding new quitters.

At day 100 it was about Candy alone, now you have the power to helps hundreds quit every year!

Thanks for everything!!
I'll give you a reason candy, Me and 1000's more have learned the true meaning of quit from you and we were reminded numerous times quitting ktc is not an option. If you're looking for some coddling, I'm trying to find a quitter you coddled, its not happening! Now as far as everyone liking you on here,who gives a shit, stay quit and don't you ever let anyone tell you that you're nothing less than one badass son of a bitch of a quitter! To hell with the rest ,in my book you're one of the best! Quit on my friend and I look forward to seeing your post for many years to come!
Tobacco is so addictive it took me a year after a massive heart attack, in which doctor confirmed caused from dipping to finally put a lid on the bitch! ODAAT EDD

dipbegone

Quote from: CandoitGoing to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well..."it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world. However that leaves the door open."

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
I couldn't agree more; your reasons at 535 are different than 100. The new quit crews need guidance from guys like you. I know early in our quits you, Kramer, Norm, et al kept me on tilt...which is exactly what I needed. Stay, Post, and keep guiding new quitters.

At day 100 it was about Candy alone, now you have the power to helps hundreds quit every year!

Thanks for everything!!

jack_smiff1

Quote from: CandoitGoing to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well..."it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world. However that leaves the door open."

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
You got it brother
Chewing tobacco number one cause for ugliness.

Candoit

Going to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well..."it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world. However that leaves the door open."

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
There are no circumstances in which using nicotine will improve the outcome.

My journey. The best part it is not over yet.

Thumblewort

Quote from: JohnSmallberriesHey you arrogant fucking prick southie Mick bastard drunk cock sucker...fucking A I love you man.
I hope sixteen is way way way better than fifteen.
Candy- thanks
WTF? What's that bouty bout Smalls?
Some of my fondest and clearest memories are peeing in places that aren't bathrooms.