This Time Is For Real

[pab1964]

Men at some time are masters of their fates: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.

Reject the concept of fate and superstition. A quitter believes and practices that he alone can shape his life with his actions. While if he becomes complacent he fails to master his own fate. Blaming it on the faults of luck, stars, and fate. It is foolish to ignore the soothsayer warning, because the "Ides of March" is always a day away.

Good to hear from you candy man , hope lifes treating you well!

[Candoit]

Men at some time are masters of their fates: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.

Reject the concept of fate and superstition. A quitter believes and practices that he alone can shape his life with his actions. While if he becomes complacent he fails to master his own fate. Blaming it on the faults of luck, stars, and fate. It is foolish to ignore the soothsayer warning, because the "Ides of March" is always a day away.

[Candoit]

It is weird being in a place were I am not focused on yesterday or tomorrow at all. I am not stressing over what do I have to do.... the ever growing to do list. I am just doing what I have to do today. I do what I can and the rest is dealt with tomorrow. It is a weird place for sure. I always have had this sense of urgency about things, most self imposed, but now it is let me do what I can. And I am okay with that, which makes me smile.

This is huge for a high strung yankee addict

[pab1964]

I don't have a whole lot to add. Everything is at an even kind of pace and balance.

I am 3 weeks into 8 weeks of training at the Toyota dealership. We are talking, but it is not the easiest thing to do, when you never really knew how to talk about us in the 1st place.

Additionally I had drifted from activity at KTC over the past few weeks. I found that the thoughts of using increased. Yes I still have 100 % posting status. I posted and ghosted and have felt the pressures. Need to get back involved.

I found myself in the same boat as you bro. For the last couple weeks I felt like I needed a break and posted roll every day but ghosted as soon as I had made my promise. I found that as I was spending less time here I was thinking more about chewing and les about the freedom I have won through a determined discipline. I felt like I was drifting even though I posted roll each day. After 8 months of quit I know without a doubt that posting and ghosting DOES NOT wok for me. I need more. The "break" I thought was needed was weakening my quit not helping at all. I have gotten back to my normal posting and support that I was neglecting and I feel strong again. I had to remember that we only get out f our quit what we put into it. I refuse to ever lose the freedom I have earned through KTC and am thankful I was able to recognize what was happening before it went too far. I am glad you have recognized it was well. A break can be good but many of us need to stay heavily involved to maintain our strength. Besides.... There are many quitters who we can help if we are here. We need to remember that paying it forward is our responsibility and privilege. Proud to quit with you again today!

Wow^^^^^! How true that is for me. Candy man, you need to realize, whether you know it or not there's alot of people on here that needs your input daily. Look at the marriage thing like this , no news is good news sometimes! Quit on and enjoy life to the fullest. Sometimes happiness is right in front of us!

[I'm done with chew]

I don't have a whole lot to add. Everything is at an even kind of pace and balance.

I am 3 weeks into 8 weeks of training at the Toyota dealership. We are talking, but it is not the easiest thing to do, when you never really knew how to talk about us in the 1st place.

Additionally I had drifted from activity at KTC over the past few weeks. I found that the thoughts of using increased. Yes I still have 100 % posting status. I posted and ghosted and have felt the pressures. Need to get back involved.

I found myself in the same boat as you bro. For the last couple weeks I felt like I needed a break and posted roll every day but ghosted as soon as I had made my promise. I found that as I was spending less time here I was thinking more about chewing and les about the freedom I have won through a determined discipline. I felt like I was drifting even though I posted roll each day. After 8 months of quit I know without a doubt that posting and ghosting DOES NOT wok for me. I need more. The "break" I thought was needed was weakening my quit not helping at all. I have gotten back to my normal posting and support that I was neglecting and I feel strong again. I had to remember that we only get out f our quit what we put into it. I refuse to ever lose the freedom I have earned through KTC and am thankful I was able to recognize what was happening before it went too far. I am glad you have recognized it was well. A break can be good but many of us need to stay heavily involved to maintain our strength. Besides.... There are many quitters who we can help if we are here. We need to remember that paying it forward is our responsibility and privilege. Proud to quit with you again today!

[Candoit]

I don't have a whole lot to add. Everything is at an even kind of pace and balance.

I am 3 weeks into 8 weeks of training at the Toyota dealership. We are talking, but it is not the easiest thing to do, when you never really knew how to talk about us in the 1st place.

Additionally I had drifted from activity at KTC over the past few weeks. I found that the thoughts of using increased. Yes I still have 100 % posting status. I posted and ghosted and have felt the pressures. Need to get back involved.

[danojeno]

So you called the lawyer and now she wants to talk. You did what they call a 180. You took stong action for YOU and she responded positively. Good news.. Stay strong bro.

[KingNothing]

So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.

I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.

That is huge, glad things are happening!

Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.

This is great news Candy. Take this as a +1 just like your quit. Thinking and hoping the best for you.

Great to hear Candy. I hope the best for you two. Just as you said, it takes work. Sounds like you both are on the right path.

Great makes my heart feel good for you my friend! God bless and take advantage of another chance at your true love! Wow! Congrats!

Good for you Candyman, you deserved a break. Prayers work! Hope it works out for the best.

[pab1964]

So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.

I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.

That is huge, glad things are happening!

Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.

This is great news Candy. Take this as a +1 just like your quit. Thinking and hoping the best for you.

Great to hear Candy. I hope the best for you two. Just as you said, it takes work. Sounds like you both are on the right path.

Great makes my heart feel good for you my friend! God bless and take advantage of another chance at your true love! Wow! Congrats!

[jimthins]

So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.

I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.

That is huge, glad things are happening!

Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.

This is great news Candy. Take this as a +1 just like your quit. Thinking and hoping the best for you.

Great to hear Candy. I hope the best for you two. Just as you said, it takes work. Sounds like you both are on the right path.

[cjoy]

So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.

I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.

That is huge, glad things are happening!

Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.

This is great news Candy. Take this as a +1 just like your quit. Thinking and hoping the best for you.

[MN_Ben]

So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.

I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.

That is huge, glad things are happening!

Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.

[ChickDip]

So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.

I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.

That is huge, glad things are happening!

[Candoit]

So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.

I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.

[Candoit]

So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.