The Batdad Chronicles

[Batdad]

One year ago, at this very time, I spit out my last dip. I had enough of putting a dead plant in front of everything else. I wondered if I could make it one day without nicotine. IÃ,’ve been doing the same thing for the last year.

Thank you all for the support! I know I wouldnÃ,’t be quit if I didnÃ,’t put my screen name on roll every day.

You saved my life, and for that I am greatful.

Thank you all!!!

[Batdad]

Day 309 thoughts...

Bought a tin of fake on Friday... First time using it in over 150 days...


Been having these thoughts lately

"You can have one, you earned it"
"I'll bet it would just make you sick anyway, just try it"
"Dude, you quit longer than you thought, good job. Go ahead and start up again"

Basically I have been romanticizing dipping again. And it sucks!!! No big craves, no foggy shit. Hell, I've spent enough time in January and February 2018 groups to know I NEVER want to go through it again!!

But... Still.... that little voice.

I'm good, My quit is bulletproof today.... But someone turn that voice off inside my head!!! (The other voices are in fine though)

[worktowin]

300 days... I remember early in this journey looking down and seeing those 300+ days in the support section and thinking "Wow, if I could only make it there' and here I am. This feels like such a big milestone.

The first 100 was spent getting myself and April to board that train. A good part of the next 100 was spent celebrating June's accomplishments. This last 100, well it's been all about me. I woke up yesterday feeling a bit more quit than usual. I've had ups and downs in this journey. But it took until the 290's before I had my first days of "Hey, I didnÃ,’t think of dip all day" The craves are still there, and it serves as a constant reminder of how deep this addiction is. Every new adventure without dip is a crave, but also a victory.

I have also spent the last 30 days without alcohol. Again, a new adventure without dip. I feel like I am finding better ways to cope. I'm not nearly as quick to anger. And I'm not eating or drinking my troubles away, I'm facing them head on! In fact, some of them just get ignored because I'm not looking for a reason to feed my vices. Dare I say, at 40 plus years old, I am actually acting like a grown-up? None of these things change or get better over night. But working on something every day, one day at a time, you can achieve amazing things.

After 300 days, I can look at myself in the mirror and honestly be glad I have quit tobacco. I look at people with 14, 70, 120 days quit and I feel your pain. I feel it so deep, that I never want to go through it again. I know if I were to cave now, I would never be able to quit again. I know IÃ,’m not cured, and I know there are plenty more challenges ahead, I also know that I am ready to face them One Day at a Time. Thanks again to all who have helped me get here. Way to many to mention! And that is a good thing!

300 was one of the key milestones. As good as you feel... it gets so much better from here! Celebrate and enjoy your freedom!

[Batdad]

300 days... I remember early in this journey looking down and seeing those 300+ days in the support section and thinking "Wow, if I could only make it there' and here I am. This feels like such a big milestone.

The first 100 was spent getting myself and April to board that train. A good part of the next 100 was spent celebrating June's accomplishments. This last 100, well it's been all about me. I woke up yesterday feeling a bit more quit than usual. I've had ups and downs in this journey. But it took until the 290's before I had my first days of "Hey, I didnÃ,’t think of dip all day" The craves are still there, and it serves as a constant reminder of how deep this addiction is. Every new adventure without dip is a crave, but also a victory.

I have also spent the last 30 days without alcohol. Again, a new adventure without dip. I feel like I am finding better ways to cope. I'm not nearly as quick to anger. And I'm not eating or drinking my troubles away, I'm facing them head on! In fact, some of them just get ignored because I'm not looking for a reason to feed my vices. Dare I say, at 40 plus years old, I am actually acting like a grown-up? None of these things change or get better over night. But working on something every day, one day at a time, you can achieve amazing things.

After 300 days, I can look at myself in the mirror and honestly be glad I have quit tobacco. I look at people with 14, 70, 120 days quit and I feel your pain. I feel it so deep, that I never want to go through it again. I know if I were to cave now, I would never be able to quit again. I know IÃ,’m not cured, and I know there are plenty more challenges ahead, I also know that I am ready to face them One Day at a Time. Thanks again to all who have helped me get here. Way to many to mention! And that is a good thing!

[Batdad]

Congrats on hitting the 3rd floor batdad!

Thank you very much!! CouldnÃ,’t have done it without being surrounded by some awesome quitters!!

Congratulations batdad! YouÃ,’re doing a great job!

Thanks Pab!!

[pab1964]

Congrats on hitting the 3rd floor batdad!

Thank you very much!! CouldnÃ,’t have done it without being surrounded by some awesome quitters!!

Congratulations batdad! YouÃ,’re doing a great job!

[Batdad]

Congrats on hitting the 3rd floor batdad!

Thank you very much!! CouldnÃ,’t have done it without being surrounded by some awesome quitters!!

[ChickDip]

Congrats on hitting the 3rd floor batdad!

[Batdad]

Wrote this in April yesterday. Wanted to save it to look back on.

I see a lot of people send a goodbye message and leave after HoF. They say "I'll check in from time to time and let you know how I'm doing" or something to that effect.

Can I make a request? Don't. Do not fill me in with how you are doing.

I'm still battling this addiction one day at a time. And while some days are easy, most are tough as hell. I don't want to hear about your smooth sailing on the outside world. And filling me in when things are going great? Save that shit for Facebook or twitter. I want to hear how bad this sucks, how you have beat the nic down one more time. I want the grit, the war story. I don't to romantic shit.

The other reason this bothers me.... if you are not in here posting every day, then you are not here supporting me or any other member of April. Kindly fuck off. The ones that post every day, I know will have my back if I need it. The ones that post up a status update when they are in the mood, I won't help you. Not to be an ass, but because if you aren't here, you won't help me. And this shit is a two way street.

My quit of for me and me alone. But I know there's a shit ton of guys that would help me if I needed it. And there's a shit ton of people I would help in a second in return.

This isn't directed at anyone. I've just noticed a lot of folks getting magically cured the last couple weeks in other groups. And they post the end of summer camp bull shit we all heard as kids. And frankly, it's a line of crap. It takes less than one minute out of your day to say "hey, I'm good! If I need you, I'll let you know. Please do the same"

Folks get hung up on the accountability and forget the brotherhood some days.

/rant

[Batdad]

Thank you everyone!

[pab1964]

Great job, batdad! 'party' Keep paying it forward!

Congratulations on the 2nd floor brother!

[FLLipOut]

Great job, batdad! 'party' Keep paying it forward!

[Weedsta]

Proud for ya Brother!

[Bulldog0311]

My 200 day roll

Congrats BatDad! 2nd floor! Well done sir!

[Batdad]

My 200 day roll