The Batdad Chronicles

[Leonidas]

Couple years ago I was lost in the woods. I went for a hike and got distracted. I was about 5 feet off the trail, and totally lost. It happens... It was summer time, and kinda late in the day. See... the plan was a quick hike in the woods and get back in time for supper... I had zero supplies, no food, no water, no watch, no compass, nothing.

Being lost in the woods is scary, but you have to remain calm. I knew I had to make goals really quick, put a plan together and execute my plan. I've spent enough time in the woods I knew what had to happen. I knew I would need shelter if this was going to be longer than a few hours to find my exit... I knew food and water were going to be an issue by sunrise. I also knew I wouldn't have to worry about either one, if I simply got out of the woods.

I started walking. And in the thick Wisconsin woods, you cannot see very far. So I marked the spot I was standing, then I picked a point I could see and walked towards it. Progress... that is a good thing... Again, I marked where I was standing, looked off in the distance and picked a point to walk towards, but this time I had a reference of where I previously stood. my line could be straighter now.. thus taking me out of the woods quicker...

I repeated this process over and over again, trying to walk as straight of line as I could. There were obstacles in my way, things like downed trees, creeks, animals (Badgers are scary looking things in the wild) I also had to go around many things I would normally go over, I simply couldn't risk a twisted ankle or other injury.. but as long as I knew where I came from and where I was headed, I was on the right path... the path to freedom... the path to out of this woods...

That's kinda how I feel about this quit journey.. I didn't have the knowledge, or the equipment to do this on my own... but I found it here. I knew I wanted out of the "woods" I wanted to be free of my addiction. It started with a simple roll post "Batdad911 - 60 hours and counting." and I knew where I was starting, and where I wanted to go... I had to try... I had to try and get out of the woods! Every day I showed up and repeated the process over and over again. Making my promise, and keeping my word.. There have been bumps in the road, scary cravings, moments of weakness. tears of sadness and joy... plenty of rage days.. times I wanted to throw in the towel.. times I wanted to never be on KTC again... but I kept on, I tried not to do anything that would ruin my quit... I tried to avoid the danger zones... I want to get out of these woods...

My journey isn't over, but I know if I keep moving forward, remember where I have been and mark the spots I am at now, I will get there...

500 days is huge. It is a bigger milestone than I could have ever imagined. I'm not out o the woods yet. I gotta keep pushing, making smart choices and keep moving forward. I'm not out of the woods yet!!

Did you ever make it out of the woods?
Oh, and congratulations on 500!!

[Batdad]

Couple years ago I was lost in the woods. I went for a hike and got distracted. I was about 5 feet off the trail, and totally lost. It happens... It was summer time, and kinda late in the day. See... the plan was a quick hike in the woods and get back in time for supper... I had zero supplies, no food, no water, no watch, no compass, nothing.

Being lost in the woods is scary, but you have to remain calm. I knew I had to make goals really quick, put a plan together and execute my plan. I've spent enough time in the woods I knew what had to happen. I knew I would need shelter if this was going to be longer than a few hours to find my exit... I knew food and water were going to be an issue by sunrise. I also knew I wouldn't have to worry about either one, if I simply got out of the woods.

I started walking. And in the thick Wisconsin woods, you cannot see very far. So I marked the spot I was standing, then I picked a point I could see and walked towards it. Progress... that is a good thing... Again, I marked where I was standing, looked off in the distance and picked a point to walk towards, but this time I had a reference of where I previously stood. my line could be straighter now.. thus taking me out of the woods quicker...

I repeated this process over and over again, trying to walk as straight of line as I could. There were obstacles in my way, things like downed trees, creeks, animals (Badgers are scary looking things in the wild) I also had to go around many things I would normally go over, I simply couldn't risk a twisted ankle or other injury.. but as long as I knew where I came from and where I was headed, I was on the right path... the path to freedom... the path to out of this woods...

That's kinda how I feel about this quit journey.. I didn't have the knowledge, or the equipment to do this on my own... but I found it here. I knew I wanted out of the "woods" I wanted to be free of my addiction. It started with a simple roll post "Batdad911 - 60 hours and counting." and I knew where I was starting, and where I wanted to go... I had to try... I had to try and get out of the woods! Every day I showed up and repeated the process over and over again. Making my promise, and keeping my word.. There have been bumps in the road, scary cravings, moments of weakness. tears of sadness and joy... plenty of rage days.. times I wanted to throw in the towel.. times I wanted to never be on KTC again... but I kept on, I tried not to do anything that would ruin my quit... I tried to avoid the danger zones... I want to get out of these woods...

My journey isn't over, but I know if I keep moving forward, remember where I have been and mark the spots I am at now, I will get there...

500 days is huge. It is a bigger milestone than I could have ever imagined. I'm not out o the woods yet. I gotta keep pushing, making smart choices and keep moving forward. I'm not out of the woods yet!!

[Batdad]

I had a bit of a revelation this morning... Day 451... that's 451 day, in a row, that I have woke up and made the choice to quit.

I don't know if I have ever done something consciously for 451 days in a row..

Things I've done every day the last 451 days...
-Pissed and shit
-I have been breathing
-I've ate every day
-I've slept every night


Shit.... I have even skipped getting dressed in the last 451 days (Don't judge me... nothing better than a pajama day in the middle of winter)

Basic life needs... that's it.. that is all I can think of that I have done every day for the last 451 days in a row...

I asked myself if getting on roll was just as important as breathing... And over the last couple hours, I figured out that it is...

Quitting is now one of those basic life needs... getting my name on roll is just as important as breathing... That's how strong addiction is... I have to be stronger.

I have to keep this cancer causing dead plant as far away as possible. It is life or death... If I don't post roll will I be back to using? I don't know the answer, and that's what keeps me coming back. I know if I can get on roll first thing every day, and keep that simple promise, I can be quit. I like how that feels. I like to take nicotine off the table, it's simply not an option today... that makes it easier..

[Batdad]

Dip dream... Not sure if it was my first... but for sure my most vivid.

Holy shit... I don't even know how it ended up on my mouth... But I had a huge fatty in my lip. Can't lie, in my dream it tasted great!! But then I saw them - batbabe and the boys.. they were looking at me like, mouths open, in shock!!

I ran to the bathroom, realizing what I had done. I Started pulling that cancerous weed out of my mouth, and it clogged the sink. I was running water, trying to wash it down... nope. I kept pulling more and more out of my mouth! Where did it all come from?? Batbabe was standing in the doorway, with a disappointing look on her face...

I'm going to have to change my phone number and probably move. Would I need to move to a new town?? Or just a different house?? Fuck... LAW and Jeff W are probably on their way... PMILS, MNx and Palp are closer... they will be here first... fuck... I hope they don't bring Frazz... fuck...

If I could just get all this dip out, and brush my teeth.. nobody will know... Batbabe wouldn't want me to get my ass kicked by these guys!! Shit.. I can't get all the chew out! Fuck, it's like stuck!!! WTF did I do?? WTF am I going to do??

And I woke up.. in a sweat... 'Finger' fuck you nicotine!!!

[Batdad]

Had a talk with the boy last night.... Made both my sons watch the Sean Marsee Video

I feel it went well. He claimed to not know it had nicotine... we talked about what peer-pressure really is, it's not some bully "making" you do it... It's someone asking, and the pressure is in your brain. It's ok to say "no thanks" and you'll never hear about it again

I asked if he was offered a cig, dip or tide pod or beer what he would have said. He told me his answer would have been no. I asked why did he agree to vape? He stated he didn't know it was bad. and everyone else was doing it.

We talked about my friend that just passed from cancer. And what nicotine does to your body and mind. And a bit of how addiction works. It sneaks up on you...

We had this talk in the car, as a family. Both my sons were there, I am glad I chose to keep this very public in our home. I told my son I was 408 days free from one of the most addiction drugs on the planet.. then asked him how far he was... His answer was 5 days, he added.. that it sucked to know he will always have less days than I do.

When I dipped and smoked, I never hid it from my kids. And when I quit I did the same thing. I'm glad I did, for this reason. They both know the daily struggle. The both know how hard that first two day, two weeks, two months were.

The biggest thing that stuck with me, is that he didn't know vaping had nicotine.... It's a fairly new product. Just like cherry skoal... it's sweet and low in nicotine... the perfect thing to get kids hooked. And turn them into future tobacco consumers.

So, talk to your kids about vaping.. or, the kids on their bus will..

Thats a great talk to have with your kiddos...

Sounds like it was productive. Keep showing them the way. Boys learn from their fathers and you are setting a damn fine example.

IQWYT man.

You are a great leader, and father.

Thanks guys! I'm just trying, like the rest of us, to do what's right every day... some days you get lucky and do more good than harm...

[worktowin]

Had a talk with the boy last night.... Made both my sons watch the Sean Marsee Video

I feel it went well. He claimed to not know it had nicotine... we talked about what peer-pressure really is, it's not some bully "making" you do it... It's someone asking, and the pressure is in your brain. It's ok to say "no thanks" and you'll never hear about it again

I asked if he was offered a cig, dip or tide pod or beer what he would have said. He told me his answer would have been no. I asked why did he agree to vape? He stated he didn't know it was bad. and everyone else was doing it.

We talked about my friend that just passed from cancer. And what nicotine does to your body and mind. And a bit of how addiction works. It sneaks up on you...

We had this talk in the car, as a family. Both my sons were there, I am glad I chose to keep this very public in our home. I told my son I was 408 days free from one of the most addiction drugs on the planet.. then asked him how far he was... His answer was 5 days, he added.. that it sucked to know he will always have less days than I do.

When I dipped and smoked, I never hid it from my kids. And when I quit I did the same thing. I'm glad I did, for this reason. They both know the daily struggle. The both know how hard that first two day, two weeks, two months were.

The biggest thing that stuck with me, is that he didn't know vaping had nicotine.... It's a fairly new product. Just like cherry skoal... it's sweet and low in nicotine... the perfect thing to get kids hooked. And turn them into future tobacco consumers.

So, talk to your kids about vaping.. or, the kids on their bus will..

Thats a great talk to have with your kiddos...

Sounds like it was productive. Keep showing them the way. Boys learn from their fathers and you are setting a damn fine example.

IQWYT man.

You are a great leader, and father.

[DonkeyMN]

Had a talk with the boy last night.... Made both my sons watch the Sean Marsee Video

I feel it went well. He claimed to not know it had nicotine... we talked about what peer-pressure really is, it's not some bully "making" you do it... It's someone asking, and the pressure is in your brain. It's ok to say "no thanks" and you'll never hear about it again

I asked if he was offered a cig, dip or tide pod or beer what he would have said. He told me his answer would have been no. I asked why did he agree to vape? He stated he didn't know it was bad. and everyone else was doing it.

We talked about my friend that just passed from cancer. And what nicotine does to your body and mind. And a bit of how addiction works. It sneaks up on you...

We had this talk in the car, as a family. Both my sons were there, I am glad I chose to keep this very public in our home. I told my son I was 408 days free from one of the most addiction drugs on the planet.. then asked him how far he was... His answer was 5 days, he added.. that it sucked to know he will always have less days than I do.

When I dipped and smoked, I never hid it from my kids. And when I quit I did the same thing. I'm glad I did, for this reason. They both know the daily struggle. The both know how hard that first two day, two weeks, two months were.

The biggest thing that stuck with me, is that he didn't know vaping had nicotine.... It's a fairly new product. Just like cherry skoal... it's sweet and low in nicotine... the perfect thing to get kids hooked. And turn them into future tobacco consumers.

So, talk to your kids about vaping.. or, the kids on their bus will..

Thats a great talk to have with your kiddos...

Sounds like it was productive. Keep showing them the way. Boys learn from their fathers and you are setting a damn fine example.

IQWYT man.

[Batdad]

No, not that batdad....

Anyway... I have let nicotine control my life for far to long. I picked up my first tin when I was 15 and never looked back, that was over 25 years ago. I started smoking when I was 16, because it's just another way to feed that ugly monster. 2 years ago I quit smoking, it smelled bad and wasn't social like it used to be and honestly I don't miss it.

I have been slowly cutting down on my dipping for a bit. Then on Monday I was getting ready to go to bed and took the last dip from the tin. I got up Tuesday morning and it was so cold I didn't want to stop to pick up more. So I challenged myself to make it the work day without one, and I did. Then I went on a 3 hour road trip to drop my kids off to their mother, once again I challenged myself to not dip the whole way. When I got home I challenged myself again. So now I'm on day 3 of challenging myself not to dip.

The cravings suck... As all of you know. I have gum, sunflower seeds, mints and shredded beef jerky, and it still sucks.

So I choose to embrace the suck and continue to challenge myself one day at a time!

Yes it sucks but it gets better. I'm on Day 43 and sometimes the cravings come back in waves. You just have to push past them and keep trekking forward. One foot at a time. I used the fake stuff for about two weeks then got off that. Keep pushing through. It's worth the fight.

It really is worth is SnuggleMonster!!

Day 43 is great!! Make sure you post roll in your April 18 group!! There will be a ton of support in there for you! I'm on day 409, and it's because I post my promise early everyday, and keep my word!! not always easy, but it is simple...

[SnuggleMonster06]

No, not that batdad....

Anyway... I have let nicotine control my life for far to long. I picked up my first tin when I was 15 and never looked back, that was over 25 years ago. I started smoking when I was 16, because it's just another way to feed that ugly monster. 2 years ago I quit smoking, it smelled bad and wasn't social like it used to be and honestly I don't miss it.

I have been slowly cutting down on my dipping for a bit. Then on Monday I was getting ready to go to bed and took the last dip from the tin. I got up Tuesday morning and it was so cold I didn't want to stop to pick up more. So I challenged myself to make it the work day without one, and I did. Then I went on a 3 hour road trip to drop my kids off to their mother, once again I challenged myself to not dip the whole way. When I got home I challenged myself again. So now I'm on day 3 of challenging myself not to dip.

The cravings suck... As all of you know. I have gum, sunflower seeds, mints and shredded beef jerky, and it still sucks.

So I choose to embrace the suck and continue to challenge myself one day at a time!

Yes it sucks but it gets better. I'm on Day 43 and sometimes the cravings come back in waves. You just have to push past them and keep trekking forward. One foot at a time. I used the fake stuff for about two weeks then got off that. Keep pushing through. It's worth the fight.

[Batdad]

Had a talk with the boy last night.... Made both my sons watch the Sean Marsee Video

I feel it went well. He claimed to not know it had nicotine... we talked about what peer-pressure really is, it's not some bully "making" you do it... It's someone asking, and the pressure is in your brain. It's ok to say "no thanks" and you'll never hear about it again

I asked if he was offered a cig, dip or tide pod or beer what he would have said. He told me his answer would have been no. I asked why did he agree to vape? He stated he didn't know it was bad. and everyone else was doing it.

We talked about my friend that just passed from cancer. And what nicotine does to your body and mind. And a bit of how addiction works. It sneaks up on you...

We had this talk in the car, as a family. Both my sons were there, I am glad I chose to keep this very public in our home. I told my son I was 408 days free from one of the most addiction drugs on the planet.. then asked him how far he was... His answer was 5 days, he added.. that it sucked to know he will always have less days than I do.

When I dipped and smoked, I never hid it from my kids. And when I quit I did the same thing. I'm glad I did, for this reason. They both know the daily struggle. The both know how hard that first two day, two weeks, two months were.

The biggest thing that stuck with me, is that he didn't know vaping had nicotine.... It's a fairly new product. Just like cherry skoal... it's sweet and low in nicotine... the perfect thing to get kids hooked. And turn them into future tobacco consumers.

So, talk to your kids about vaping.. or, the kids on their bus will..

[Batdad]

posted on Monday in my group.. wanted to swing it over here...

My ex wife called today.

My 14 year old was caught vaping on the bus.

He knows the struggles IÂ’ve gone through for the last 406 days.

IÂ’m disappointed... mostly in myself.

His mom smokes, I smoked and dipped his whole life.

WeÂ’re going to be together Wednesday through Monday... obviously there will be a discussion about it.

Fuck big tobacco

Batdad, don't be too hard on yourself. Let's hope that it just adolescent curiosity. Good luck with the discussions toward the end of the week, I'm sure you will know the right things to say. Maybe share some stories from our eternal brothers....that might make it real.

hey brother i have been there with my son...he is still dipping and sadly his GF said that if that is ALL he did she was fine with it since both her parents dip....an uphill battle I have here...kids will be kids and will try stuff...you are setting the right example so just know that and don't own this situation...it was his decision not yours...you be you brother and set that example and love him and it will work out...i have faith in the Lord so say a little prayer and have your conversation...best wishes...ODAAT

Damn.
Dads have changed since I was a kid.
I guess coddling his balls might work.....

Yeah.. Because the non-coddling way worked so well for both of us...

Good luck to you. Just remember, it's hard to vape with your lips busted up.

just kidding...sorta.

Text if you need to vent it out.

[Batdad]

400 days.. well.... 401 now...

Been a busy week, I've hardly had time to post in the morning and get on with my day.
Actually, it's been a busy year.

There's so much to do around the house.
The wedding planning is in full effect.
I get time with my sons the next 3 weekends.
My nephew is having his first sleepover this weekend, at our house.
Then again in a few weeks.
My youngest is going to cross-over to boy scouts next week.
It's been snowing every other day, so that's tons of lot work.
I've been trying to stay involved in the new April group.
We're getting ready to move to the new fire station.

Man, there is so much going on!!
I get craves from time to time, but nothing bad... Nothing that is going to push me over the edge.
Batbabe and I got into a huge argument, she's been kind of a bride-zilla and I called her on it... Didn't even think of nicotine during or after.
The guys were all dipping the other day when we moved the lot. The smell, it was horrible.

I've found myself asking, do I need to be here? I know it takes zero time to post roll... I also know I'm more than a post and ghost type... Am I helping? Am I making my quit stronger for being here? Or, am I just blindly putting my name and day count on the line? Heck, even my texting has been slacking... I'm really busy!!!

Then... I read in April and May... those struggles... man... those early days... what a drag!! I never want that again!! So, when I have time.. I can swing in here and read.. It's easy to find the new raging groups. Just look for the one with all the people in it!!

There's a number of folks that say they are leaving... yet are here every day... reading... I can be like that. Nothing wrong with taking what I need and leaving the rest!!

Then.. I hear of a cave... and the first thing I do when I hear about a cave, is I check to see if they posted their promise... and guess what... in the "established" groups... usually there is a blank day or several...

would that promise made first thing in the morning prevented a cave? I don't know... But it couldn't have hurt either....

So today... I sit and write a reminder to myself... as my work-load is pilling up... I gotta get my taxes done.. and WTF am I going to make for dinner?? Today, day 401, I remind myself that I need to keep my quit a priority... If I don't have the time to post roll, how the fuck am I going to have the time do me a slave to a dead plant in a plastic can? If I don't have the time to post my promise, how the hell am I count to have the time to go through those first 21 days again? If I don't have the time to get in here and help new quitters, how the hell am I going to have time for cancer treatment?

So batdad... Over the last few days, a few quitters who I admire, and who have helped me, shared stories of how they have cave thoughts.. and their promise kept them clean one more day... They are a year ahead of you... keep posting your promise... maybe when they give the all clear, you'll know when you can be done.

[Batdad]

Congrats and Vibratulations on your 400 Batdad!

Thanks chick!!! And thanks for being a huge part of my quit!!

[ChickDip]

Congrats and Vibratulations on your 400 Batdad!

[Batdad]

I posted this yesterday... thought I wanted a copy here for my records...

This addiction is tough...
As many of you know, we buried a dear friend and fellow firefighter on Friday. She kicked cancers ass for 4 years!! Never let it bring her down and used it to reaffirm how much better it is to live happy. She was on the department before me. She was our secretary, and basically our mother goose. She kept us in line, she made sure we had hot coffee and something to eat if the call was going long. She was also a First Responder, in fact... She is the reason I became a First Responder. She loved helping people!! If there was an opportunity for her to volunteer, she would find a way to help. Her and her husband also owned a successful business.

Why do I tell you about all of this?? Because just 4 years ago she told us she had Lung Cancer... She was a heavy smoker like so many of us. Pack a day at least!! Cancer didnÂ’t care if she was a good person or not - it attacked.

She "quit" smoking, and so did I (And a couple others) My solution was to just increase my dippingÂ… She tried, she really didÂ… but from time to time on calls, especially the rough ones, you could smell it...

A few months ago, she was diagnosed with Cancer for the 4th time. This time Brain cancer joined the party...

"Batdad, why are you telling us this"

I want to set the stage, for how bad this addiction is, you see... This person that saved countless lives, couldnÂ’t do the one thing to save her own, Stop smoking. She didnÂ’t smoke often, just when she 'needed' it or 'earned it' or whatever... We will never know which cigarette killed her, maybe she would have died either way.

IÂ’m sitting at the funeral on Friday, I've been crying my eyes out every day since she passed. I've spent the whole week with others trying to organize a full honors ceremony for her. And we did it!! We have 30 honor guards posted up. We had a 100 foot flag hung from 2 ladder trucks outside! We had fire and EMS personnel from around the state!! The Governor of Wisconsin even ordered all flags at half staff for her!! Man, it was beautiful, and emotional!!

And I thought to myself "Wow Ryan, (I donÂ’t always call myself batdad) We all did a fantastic job honoring her! You should go outside, find a nice quiet corner and celebrate with a smoke' WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?!

This addiction is so strong and so deep it tries to find any way back into your life. Nicotine wanted me to bring the murder weapon to the funeral. I started paying attention around me- all these people, here to honor this wonderful lady - Outside in Minus 3 degree weather - sucking on the very thing that killed her

Had I not made a promise first thing in the morning would I have had a smoke or dip? I donÂ’t know...

If I had that smoke or dip, would I had got cancer from it? I donÂ’t know...

If I had that cancer stick or cat turd would I have started using a pack/tin a day? I donÂ’t know...

Am I quit today? Yes, that I do know. I made my promise and kept my word. I sent texts to a few, reminding them and myself that I am quit. And today, I get another day of life.

If I had a point, it would be -
Post roll early and often. Stay involved here, even if itÂ’s the minimum. You donÂ’t know what the day will bring. You donÂ’t know if you will face a trigger or not. You donÂ’t know much of what will happen... but what you DO know, is that you made a promise and can keep your word! Even if it's just one day.

Quit on!!