Yesterday (day 44) was the first day I felt "normal" since my quit. I had some strong craves, but I saw a glimmer of life beyond nicotine. After work my gal and I had some errands to run. Spent an couple hours in the car and had nice conversation and minimal craves. It was nice not packing a dip and spitting it out right before the door of the store. We went out to dinner and sat and talked afterwards... I was never a ninja dipper, I was always public about it. But I didn't need to run off to the bathroom to spit out my dip when the meal showed up, and I didn't need to pack one after the meal and wonder if I could find a spitter or if I was gutting it. All I had to do was engage her in conversation. The focus was amazing, I wasn't worried about the next fix... I was, for the first time, enjoying time with the gal I love.
On the way home chew came up, she said "if you ever make me go through that bullshit from the first few weeks of you quitting again, I will kill you" roflmao And I'm pretty sure she meant it. I humbly apologized and told her all I can promise is one day at a time, and I never want you or I to go through that again.
Today I realize I have a long way to go in this journey, and the only way I can get there is one day at a time. It really renewed my quit.
Quit on!!