Ugh...I need to go to bed, but this might help someone and I want to write it while its fresh. Day 52 is in the books. Day 53 starts in an hour. I am actually starting to believe it gets better. Might be pre-mature but I read about the funk that comes in the 70-90 day range. I am ODDAAT but I want to be ready for that. I now have 76 contacts in my phone and I want to text every single one of them before I cave. I love seeing the October group growing. I have really put some effort into some of those guys. As silly as it sounds....Im not sure I am going to like the November group as much! I also don't want to burn myself out. Im going to pray about it and stretch myself as much as I can, because thats how this place works. At any rate I digress...Here are the two things I want to get down.
Found out Monday that one of my good coaching friends is in the hospital. While on vacation his replaced hip from years ago started acting up and he had to come home and was admitted to the hospital. He is a cope dipper...probably close to a can a day. He has a nasty infection in his hip and is going to be in the hospital for some time. He was on the fence about quitting with me 53 days ago but never pulled the trigger. His options now are to sneak some cope into the hospital, or go through the suck while recovering from his hip surgery/infection. I know that I am nowhere near healed, but to know that I can make it 53 days is amazing. Im sad for my friend, but it has strengthened my quit
Item 2 is my mothers medical emergency from 2 days ago. I was stuck on an island 4 hours from my mom when she called and said her defibrilator went off three times. I drove my family 4 hours home, repacked, and drove 2 more hours to be with my mom. Stayed with her late into the evening and then GOT A SPEEDING TICKET WHEN I WAS FINALLY GOING TO GO HOME AND SLEEP! I can't make this up! My mom is having surgery next week on her heart and Ill make the 2 hour drive again. I have remained very positive over the past 52 days. Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't accomplish shit, and its a lie. WE AREN'T MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING!!! Quitting is the best thing we can do for ourselves and its NOT IMPOSSIBLE. In fact it doesnt even suck. Its just hard. Cancer, tooth loss, gum recession, jaw removal, tounge removal, etc....THOSE SUCK!!! Despite knowing all of that in the back of my mind I was always afraid that something SO bad would happen that I would HAVE to dip. A fight with my wife, someone getting sick, etc....Well, getting a frantic call from your mom when you are stuck 4 hours away ranks pretty high on the shittastic scale and I made it. Because I posted roll and honored my word. I may have to go through something harder, but 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems.
Football practice in the morning....gotta get some sleep....and I LOVE that i can sleep now!!!
