Here I go again, tomorrow is the last first day.

[Raider]

Day 75. This is a response I put in June I regards to a cavers admission of a cave and being "stressed". I just wanted it as a reminder in my intro as to why I am here and will remain on this site. I did make some edits but the message is the same.

So you didn't use your tools. Let me tell you something. The past week has been total hell for me. I have suffered through a damn tooth abscess. My nights have been filled with what the hell if this is the big C? What the fuck am I going to do? Who the hell is going to help my wife raise my kids? It all started with severe pain for a couple days, then on Saturday morning my face was swollen like you wouldn't believe. I had to have an emergent procedure to open the tooth and relieve some of the pressure. Thank God there was a dentist willing to open her office to help me out otherwise I would have ended up in e ER That's not all. Sunday I wake up and my neck is still swollen. Lucky me, I got an infection that requires No oxygen. FML. In total I have had 3 different dentists look at or work on this one single tooth over the last week.

Fortunately I was able to get to the dentist today and he said all looks well and what has happened is normal for the trauma occurred on my tooth. He will finish the root canal in 3 weeks after all the infection is gone. In the meantime I am on one hell of a dose of antibiotics and taking Vicodin just so I can sleep. I still don't feel as I am out of the woods completely.

Why did I say all of this? Because I was stressed as hell and I stayed QUIT. This has given me even more drive to tell the NB to FO as often as possible. There is no room for her in my life ever again.

Saying you were stressed is a bullshit excuse. I'm sure the 3 questions will show up soon and you better dig really deep for the answers. As for the NB being in your head, kick her ass out!!!

Thanks for posting this. I feel the anger at the addiction and the weariness of excuses too. Those strong feelings help us stay quit, and we help each other by sharing it. Keep up what you're doing, you've got strength that really helps others.

Thanks for the reply Brettless. I have never been so angry with something or disgusted with myself. I don't think we are ever totally out of the woods and I know I still have a ways to go. This abscess has truly scared the crap out of me. It's made me rethink a bunch of crap. Maybe celebrating my 75th day will include beginning a healthier lifestyle altogether. One thing is for sure, it has gotten me closer to God and that is something to truly celebrate.

[brettlees]

Day 75. This is a response I put in June I regards to a cavers admission of a cave and being "stressed". I just wanted it as a reminder in my intro as to why I am here and will remain on this site. I did make some edits but the message is the same.

So you didn't use your tools. Let me tell you something. The past week has been total hell for me. I have suffered through a damn tooth abscess. My nights have been filled with what the hell if this is the big C? What the fuck am I going to do? Who the hell is going to help my wife raise my kids? It all started with severe pain for a couple days, then on Saturday morning my face was swollen like you wouldn't believe. I had to have an emergent procedure to open the tooth and relieve some of the pressure. Thank God there was a dentist willing to open her office to help me out otherwise I would have ended up in e ER That's not all. Sunday I wake up and my neck is still swollen. Lucky me, I got an infection that requires No oxygen. FML. In total I have had 3 different dentists look at or work on this one single tooth over the last week.

Fortunately I was able to get to the dentist today and he said all looks well and what has happened is normal for the trauma occurred on my tooth. He will finish the root canal in 3 weeks after all the infection is gone. In the meantime I am on one hell of a dose of antibiotics and taking Vicodin just so I can sleep. I still don't feel as I am out of the woods completely.

Why did I say all of this? Because I was stressed as hell and I stayed QUIT. This has given me even more drive to tell the NB to FO as often as possible. There is no room for her in my life ever again.

Saying you were stressed is a bullshit excuse. I'm sure the 3 questions will show up soon and you better dig really deep for the answers. As for the NB being in your head, kick her ass out!!!

Thanks for posting this. I feel the anger at the addiction and the weariness of excuses too. Those strong feelings help us stay quit, and we help each other by sharing it. Keep up what you're doing, you've got strength that really helps others.

[Raider]

Day 75. This is a response I put in June I regards to a cavers admission of a cave and being "stressed". I just wanted it as a reminder in my intro as to why I am here and will remain on this site. I did make some edits but the message is the same.

So you didn't use your tools. Let me tell you something. The past week has been total hell for me. I have suffered through a damn tooth abscess. My nights have been filled with what the hell if this is the big C? What the fuck am I going to do? Who the hell is going to help my wife raise my kids? It all started with severe pain for a couple days, then on Saturday morning my face was swollen like you wouldn't believe. I had to have an emergent procedure to open the tooth and relieve some of the pressure. Thank God there was a dentist willing to open her office to help me out otherwise I would have ended up in e ER That's not all. Sunday I wake up and my neck is still swollen. Lucky me, I got an infection that requires No oxygen. FML. In total I have had 3 different dentists look at or work on this one single tooth over the last week.

Fortunately I was able to get to the dentist today and he said all looks well and what has happened is normal for the trauma occurred on my tooth. He will finish the root canal in 3 weeks after all the infection is gone. In the meantime I am on one hell of a dose of antibiotics and taking Vicodin just so I can sleep. I still don't feel as I am out of the woods completely.

Why did I say all of this? Because I was stressed as hell and I stayed QUIT. This has given me even more drive to tell the NB to FO as often as possible. There is no room for her in my life ever again.

Saying you were stressed is a bullshit excuse. I'm sure the 3 questions will show up soon and you better dig really deep for the answers. As for the NB being in your head, kick her ass out!!!

[Raider]

Day 67 and I thought I was in the clear. Don't get me wrong, my cravings have been minimal and my quit is solid as a rock but I finally had a cave dream and I woke up so damn mad. My two brothers and myself were sitting in a bar and one of them offered me a smoke. I grabbed it, lit it up, then dropped it on the floor. My first thought was 67 effing days of being quit wasted all over a very small drag. How was I going to break the news to all my supporters? How was I going to answer the 3 questions? Posting day 1 was going to suck total ass!!!! Thank God it was a dream.

That is the reason I post roll around midnight. It gives me zero opportunity to even dream about a crave for the entire 24 hour period. Last night I went to bed early and didn't get posted till this morning. That was the first damn thing I did though.

Still strong at 67 days quit thanks to all my brothers and sisters here on KTC.

Keep rockin it Raider.

And, thanks for keeping me on this site. (Day 40)

Keeping each other accountable. That's how it works.

[zquitter]

Day 67 and I thought I was in the clear. Don't get me wrong, my cravings have been minimal and my quit is solid as a rock but I finally had a cave dream and I woke up so damn mad. My two brothers and myself were sitting in a bar and one of them offered me a smoke. I grabbed it, lit it up, then dropped it on the floor. My first thought was 67 effing days of being quit wasted all over a very small drag. How was I going to break the news to all my supporters? How was I going to answer the 3 questions? Posting day 1 was going to suck total ass!!!! Thank God it was a dream.

That is the reason I post roll around midnight. It gives me zero opportunity to even dream about a crave for the entire 24 hour period. Last night I went to bed early and didn't get posted till this morning. That was the first damn thing I did though.

Still strong at 67 days quit thanks to all my brothers and sisters here on KTC.

Keep rockin it Raider.

And, thanks for keeping me on this site. (Day 40)

[Raider]

67 days quit is bad-ass Raider! I had a dream I was marrying a dude last night after seeing the Kentucky Derby and Johnny Wier Saturday, but I woke up confused and mad at my morning wood.

It's all the ghey talk in here.

[Thumblewort]

67 days quit is bad-ass Raider! I had a dream I was marrying a dude last night after seeing the Kentucky Derby and Johnny Wier Saturday, but I woke up confused and mad at my morning wood.

[Derk40]

Day 67 and I thought I was in the clear. Don't get me wrong, my cravings have been minimal and my quit is solid as a rock but I finally had a cave dream and I woke up so damn mad. My two brothers and myself were sitting in a bar and one of them offered me a smoke. I grabbed it, lit it up, then dropped it on the floor. My first thought was 67 effing days of being quit wasted all over a very small drag. How was I going to break the news to all my supporters? How was I going to answer the 3 questions? Posting day 1 was going to suck total ass!!!! Thank God it was a dream.

That is the reason I post roll around midnight. It gives me zero opportunity to even dream about a crave for the entire 24 hour period. Last night I went to bed early and didn't get posted till this morning. That was the first damn thing I did though.

Still strong at 67 days quit thanks to all my brothers and sisters here on KTC.

Those damn cave dreams! Let them serve as good reminders.

Every day we make a decision. Whether you are at day 3, 30, 300 or 3000 -- you must make that decision. The decision is whether or not you will remain quit today.

I you answer yes, go post roll and keep your word today. Then use the tools you have as needed throughout the day. If you answer no, then I suggest you rethink that answer.

You are doing great Raider. Congrats on day 67. Quit with you all day long.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Day 67 and I thought I was in the clear. Don't get me wrong, my cravings have been minimal and my quit is solid as a rock but I finally had a cave dream and I woke up so damn mad. My two brothers and myself were sitting in a bar and one of them offered me a smoke. I grabbed it, lit it up, then dropped it on the floor. My first thought was 67 effing days of being quit wasted all over a very small drag. How was I going to break the news to all my supporters? How was I going to answer the 3 questions? Posting day 1 was going to suck total ass!!!! Thank God it was a dream.

That is the reason I post roll around midnight. It gives me zero opportunity to even dream about a crave for the entire 24 hour period. Last night I went to bed early and didn't get posted till this morning. That was the first damn thing I did though.

Still strong at 67 days quit thanks to all my brothers and sisters here on KTC.

Those damn cave dreams! Let them serve as good reminders.

[Raider]

Day 67 and I thought I was in the clear. Don't get me wrong, my cravings have been minimal and my quit is solid as a rock but I finally had a cave dream and I woke up so damn mad. My two brothers and myself were sitting in a bar and one of them offered me a smoke. I grabbed it, lit it up, then dropped it on the floor. My first thought was 67 effing days of being quit wasted all over a very small drag. How was I going to break the news to all my supporters? How was I going to answer the 3 questions? Posting day 1 was going to suck total ass!!!! Thank God it was a dream.

That is the reason I post roll around midnight. It gives me zero opportunity to even dream about a crave for the entire 24 hour period. Last night I went to bed early and didn't get posted till this morning. That was the first damn thing I did though.

Still strong at 67 days quit thanks to all my brothers and sisters here on KTC.

[brettlees]

So here I am at day 50. Where the hell did the time go? At first it seemed very slow but lately the numbers just keep stacking up.

My first 50 were wild to say the least. In the beginning I though it was going pretty easy until I realized I was in the fog. My first couple weeks were mostly a blur. I look back on some of my posts and think, when and why did I write that? Those are the days I will never relive. At least not today. I have had so many things occur over the last 50 that could have, should have made me cave but I did not. I have remained strong throughout this whole ordeal.

Posting Roll has become a pain in the ass lately but it still the 2nd most important thing I do all day. Telling my family I love them is still and will always be #1.

I love my quit. The one thing I miss about dipping is..................not a damn thing. I don't miss spitting in the shower, while taking a crap, spitting down the side of my truck, or whatever/wherever I did it. Being quit has given me a new lee on life. I don't get pissed off at stupid shit anymore.

Just damn glad to be quit with you all

You are winning Raider! I agree, one of the best things about quitting is how much simpler (and cleaner) life gets.
Yes, you are ;Ironman: !

Thanks for the update- you are doing it! Keep yoursf prepared but also know that each dY is one more victory!

[rdad]

So here I am at day 50. Where the hell did the time go? At first it seemed very slow but lately the numbers just keep stacking up.

My first 50 were wild to say the least. In the beginning I though it was going pretty easy until I realized I was in the fog. My first couple weeks were mostly a blur. I look back on some of my posts and think, when and why did I write that? Those are the days I will never relive. At least not today. I have had so many things occur over the last 50 that could have, should have made me cave but I did not. I have remained strong throughout this whole ordeal.

Posting Roll has become a pain in the ass lately but it still the 2nd most important thing I do all day. Telling my family I love them is still and will always be #1.

I love my quit. The one thing I miss about dipping is..................not a damn thing. I don't miss spitting in the shower, while taking a crap, spitting down the side of my truck, or whatever/wherever I did it. Being quit has given me a new lee on life. I don't get pissed off at stupid shit anymore.

Just damn glad to be quit with you all

You are winning Raider! I agree, one of the best things about quitting is how much simpler (and cleaner) life gets.
Yes, you are ;Ironman: !

[Raider]

So here I am at day 50. Where the hell did the time go? At first it seemed very slow but lately the numbers just keep stacking up.

My first 50 were wild to say the least. In the beginning I though it was going pretty easy until I realized I was in the fog. My first couple weeks were mostly a blur. I look back on some of my posts and think, when and why did I write that? Those are the days I will never relive. At least not today. I have had so many things occur over the last 50 that could have, should have made me cave but I did not. I have remained strong throughout this whole ordeal.

Posting Roll has become a pain in the ass lately but it still the 2nd most important thing I do all day. Telling my family I love them is still and will always be #1.

I love my quit. The one thing I miss about dipping is..................not a damn thing. I don't miss spitting in the shower, while taking a crap, spitting down the side of my truck, or whatever/wherever I did it. Being quit has given me a new lee on life. I don't get pissed off at stupid shit anymore.

Just damn glad to be quit with you all

[yemtig]

Raider, that is some great stuff man!! I did the same thing yesterday, just went into the gas station i got my dip from and proudly told them I dont dip and it can kiss my butt!! I'm not afraid to face the nic bitch anymore and facing situations like these makes my quit stronger...

Proud to be quit with you today!

[rdad]

This post is not for me, it's for a newbie who may be checking out this site. First off, why are you here? Do YOU want to quit? If so, congrats. You have come to the right place. read all you can and listen to the advice given by these fine quitters here on KTC.

My journey started 32 days ago. I was going down a path that I feel I would never get off of. I started dipping more and more and was looking for help but didn't know where to turn. It was then that I asked God for some help and this time I listened. Within a couple hours of praying for help, I found this amazing website and some amazing new friends.

Many things have happened since my Day 1 and I wont bore you with the details but I can easily think of 5 items that have happened that would have caused me to cave in the past. Posting Roll daily and being engaged in the chat room have been an instrumental factor in my daily decision to be quit.

In the past I have stopped dipping. At one point I stopped for almost 3 years. There is a difference between stopping and quitting. When I stopped in the past I tried to avoid dip at all costs. I stopped going into c-stores or places where I knew it was visible. I basically tried to act like it didn't exist. It was when my guard was down that the NB struck. Now, with KTC, I feel that I must face this balls to the walls, head on. I will not run from areas or stores where dip is sold. I now tell the clerk to promise to never sell it to me again. I now understand that nicotine is an addiction and not a habit. Breaking a habit is a hell of a lot easier than beating an addiction but you can do it if you really want to.

Quitting used to suck, now it is awesome. I feel as though I have my freedom back and am finally enjoying life. The foggy days have come and gone and I know they will come again. The shitty days have and will do the same. It is a bumpy as hell ride but it is so worth it.

Want to be quit also? Learn how to post roll and do it daily (even after you make HOF). Make that commitment to be quit today and only for today. Read, read, and read some more. Be engaged in this group.

Proud to be quit with you Raider. This is good stuff. Stay on the path brother!
Yes , you are ;Ironman: