Day 402...
Today I had the worst craving I have had in a long time. My son is dealing with the stomach bug. Yesterday he stayed home by himself. Today, my wife asked if I could stay home with him. I said yes and my first thought...I can dip all day long and nobody would know. That thought turned into a full blown attack. It felt like it lasted forever. Even at over 400 days...that nic bitch sure can swing a mighty punch. If it wasn't for KTC and reminding myself daily that I'm an addict by posting roll...I do think I would have rewarded myself with a dip today. Thinking just today I will use and tomorrow I will go back to being quit. That plan never worked out in the past. How stupid would I have been?
I can't remember the last craving I had before this. I have had thoughts before but nothing that really had me going. Since October...My quit has been really easy. I still think about dip all the time. These thoughts are more...I'm so glad that I'm finally quit. I'm so glad this isn't last year where I was struggling daily with craves and fighting for my freedom. Everyday that I'm quit is a great day. Since quitting my life and attitude has really improved.
Thanks for keeping it real. We need to hear that guys at 400 still get hit by major cravings so that it doesn't catch us by surprise when it happens to us.
Similar to your feelings I too am faced with this challenge every time my wife leaves the house for an extended period of time. It was a way for me to enjoy some alone time, a simple pleasure, a reward. What dip really did was turn me into a lier, a cheat, and a hypocrite everyday. I haven't found a replacement, but I have stopped looking since I'm ridding my life of using various substances that bring no good. It's very hard, every single time, but I find the strength. I hit a milestone today and have done a lot of reflecting. WW you were a major factor introducing this place as a no bullshit place for getting it done. I couldn't have done it without KTC and your representation making this place great. Thanks.