Glad to be here

[kybo]

A car on the side of the road on the way home. In a bit of a rush to end an endless day but the hood was up so I figured I'd stop and see what was up.  As I walked up the driver side window rolled down and what was once a pretty face peered out from behind bruises and a large black eye.  My countenance changed instantly from inquisitive to shock and simmering anger. "What seems to be the trouble?" I asked her after an awkward pause. "It just stopped" she said.  I got my cables out of the truck and proceeded to jump start the old and rattling Ford Fiesta. I asked her if she knew where the O'Reilly's was and she said that she did. I told her to head there and I would follow her.  I had the guys there check out the alternator and battery.  While we were waiting I asked her out of the blue, "you know you can't stay with him, don't you?" It was more of a statement than a question.  "I'm not" she said. "I'm leaving him.  I'm going home. Everything I own is in the car." From what I could see that consisted of a carton of cigarettes and some trash bags presumably full of clothes. I asked her where home was and she said Idaho (all this is taking place in Georgia on the eastern border with South Carolina). The tech comes out from under the hood and tells us it's the battery.  "I don't have any money" she says.  I told her not to worry about it and told the tech to get us one.   I figured it's the least I could do for her father, out there somewhere wishing his little girl was OK. I asked her how she planned on getting to Idaho, that it was more than a single tank of gas.  She said she didn't know.
That's how I left her. I wish I would have offered her a bus ticket instead of the battery. The whole thing left me with a profound sadness and a sense of the surreal. Wanted to help more but I just didn't feel comfortable giving her cash so she could buy cigarettes or meth or who knows what.  It's still hard to believe.

You're a great man Athan, a great man.

I have always raised my children (my own and my employees that I reference to as my kids) that no matter what, the person you are dealing with is someone's child.  And you should treat them how you would want your children treated.  If my son needed help with his car I would hope someone would be there.  If he needed money to buy cancer sticks I hope someone is not there.

Well done my friend, now all we can do is pray she gets home safe, Love you brother.

I know right?  That was going through my head the whole time - What if this was one of my girls?  I pray the one whose paths they cross is decent. Sending the oldest out of state to college next year (Texas A&M).  I'm not looking forward to it.

Make sure your daughter has a new battery and full tank of gas   

You are an awesome man.  I want to be just like you when I grow up.

Love you

Don't beat yourself up.  You did your part to get Fiesta girl away from the immediate danger.  She is somebody else's problem now.  The cities, towns, highways and back roads of this country are still full of good hearted people.  And the road from Georgia to Idaho is heavily populated with dads of daughters that come in all colors, shapes and sizes.  We are a unique club that has an unspoken agreement with other dads (that we will probably never meet) to always try to do our best to help someone else's daughter out of trouble if we can.  So, on behalf of all the other dads with daughters members all over the world I would like to say, "thank you," for getting this young lady on her way.  It wasn't my daughter this time, but if my daughter ever needs assistance when I am not around I hope she has the good fortune to find a dad like you.

Sending them off to college can be tough.  I have one that is a sophomore in college right now.   

[chris2alaska]

A car on the side of the road on the way home. In a bit of a rush to end an endless day but the hood was up so I figured I'd stop and see what was up.  As I walked up the driver side window rolled down and what was once a pretty face peered out from behind bruises and a large black eye.  My countenance changed instantly from inquisitive to shock and simmering anger. "What seems to be the trouble?" I asked her after an awkward pause. "It just stopped" she said.  I got my cables out of the truck and proceeded to jump start the old and rattling Ford Fiesta. I asked her if she knew where the O'Reilly's was and she said that she did. I told her to head there and I would follow her.  I had the guys there check out the alternator and battery.  While we were waiting I asked her out of the blue, "you know you can't stay with him, don't you?" It was more of a statement than a question.  "I'm not" she said. "I'm leaving him.  I'm going home. Everything I own is in the car." From what I could see that consisted of a carton of cigarettes and some trash bags presumably full of clothes. I asked her where home was and she said Idaho (all this is taking place in Georgia on the eastern border with South Carolina). The tech comes out from under the hood and tells us it's the battery.  "I don't have any money" she says.  I told her not to worry about it and told the tech to get us one.   I figured it's the least I could do for her father, out there somewhere wishing his little girl was OK. I asked her how she planned on getting to Idaho, that it was more than a single tank of gas.  She said she didn't know.
That's how I left her. I wish I would have offered her a bus ticket instead of the battery. The whole thing left me with a profound sadness and a sense of the surreal. Wanted to help more but I just didn't feel comfortable giving her cash so she could buy cigarettes or meth or who knows what.  It's still hard to believe.

You're a great man Athan, a great man.

I have always raised my children (my own and my employees that I reference to as my kids) that no matter what, the person you are dealing with is someone's child.  And you should treat them how you would want your children treated.  If my son needed help with his car I would hope someone would be there.  If he needed money to buy cancer sticks I hope someone is not there.

Well done my friend, now all we can do is pray she gets home safe, Love you brother.

I know right?  That was going through my head the whole time - What if this was one of my girls?  I pray the one whose paths they cross is decent. Sending the oldest out of state to college next year (Texas A&M).  I'm not looking forward to it.

Make sure your daughter has a new battery and full tank of gas   

You are an awesome man.  I want to be just like you when I grow up.

Love you

[Athan]

A car on the side of the road on the way home. In a bit of a rush to end an endless day but the hood was up so I figured I'd stop and see what was up.  As I walked up the driver side window rolled down and what was once a pretty face peered out from behind bruises and a large black eye.  My countenance changed instantly from inquisitive to shock and simmering anger. "What seems to be the trouble?" I asked her after an awkward pause. "It just stopped" she said.  I got my cables out of the truck and proceeded to jump start the old and rattling Ford Fiesta. I asked her if she knew where the O'Reilly's was and she said that she did. I told her to head there and I would follow her.  I had the guys there check out the alternator and battery.  While we were waiting I asked her out of the blue, "you know you can't stay with him, don't you?" It was more of a statement than a question.  "I'm not" she said. "I'm leaving him.  I'm going home. Everything I own is in the car." From what I could see that consisted of a carton of cigarettes and some trash bags presumably full of clothes. I asked her where home was and she said Idaho (all this is taking place in Georgia on the eastern border with South Carolina). The tech comes out from under the hood and tells us it's the battery.  "I don't have any money" she says.  I told her not to worry about it and told the tech to get us one.   I figured it's the least I could do for her father, out there somewhere wishing his little girl was OK. I asked her how she planned on getting to Idaho, that it was more than a single tank of gas.  She said she didn't know.
That's how I left her. I wish I would have offered her a bus ticket instead of the battery. The whole thing left me with a profound sadness and a sense of the surreal. Wanted to help more but I just didn't feel comfortable giving her cash so she could buy cigarettes or meth or who knows what.  It's still hard to believe.

You're a great man Athan, a great man.

I have always raised my children (my own and my employees that I reference to as my kids) that no matter what, the person you are dealing with is someone's child.  And you should treat them how you would want your children treated.  If my son needed help with his car I would hope someone would be there.  If he needed money to buy cancer sticks I hope someone is not there.

Well done my friend, now all we can do is pray she gets home safe, Love you brother.

I know right?  That was going through my head the whole time - What if this was one of my girls?  I pray the one whose paths they cross is decent. Sending the oldest out of state to college next year (Texas A&M).  I'm not looking forward to it.

[Skolvikings]

A car on the side of the road on the way home. In a bit of a rush to end an endless day but the hood was up so I figured I'd stop and see what was up.  As I walked up the driver side window rolled down and what was once a pretty face peered out from behind bruises and a large black eye.  My countenance changed instantly from inquisitive to shock and simmering anger. "What seems to be the trouble?" I asked her after an awkward pause. "It just stopped" she said.  I got my cables out of the truck and proceeded to jump start the old and rattling Ford Fiesta. I asked her if she knew where the O'Reilly's was and she said that she did. I told her to head there and I would follow her.  I had the guys there check out the alternator and battery.  While we were waiting I asked her out of the blue, "you know you can't stay with him, don't you?" It was more of a statement than a question.  "I'm not" she said. "I'm leaving him.  I'm going home. Everything I own is in the car." From what I could see that consisted of a carton of cigarettes and some trash bags presumably full of clothes. I asked her where home was and she said Idaho (all this is taking place in Georgia on the eastern border with South Carolina). The tech comes out from under the hood and tells us it's the battery.  "I don't have any money" she says.  I told her not to worry about it and told the tech to get us one.   I figured it's the least I could do for her father, out there somewhere wishing his little girl was OK. I asked her how she planned on getting to Idaho, that it was more than a single tank of gas.  She said she didn't know.
That's how I left her. I wish I would have offered her a bus ticket instead of the battery. The whole thing left me with a profound sadness and a sense of the surreal. Wanted to help more but I just didn't feel comfortable giving her cash so she could buy cigarettes or meth or who knows what.  It's still hard to believe.

You're a great man Athan, a great man.

I have always raised my children (my own and my employees that I reference to as my kids) that no matter what, the person you are dealing with is someone's child.  And you should treat them how you would want your children treated.  If my son needed help with his car I would hope someone would be there.  If he needed money to buy cancer sticks I hope someone is not there.

Well done my friend, now all we can do is pray she gets home safe, Love you brother.

[Athan]

A car on the side of the road on the way home. In a bit of a rush to end an endless day but the hood was up so I figured I'd stop and see what was up.  As I walked up the driver side window rolled down and what was once a pretty face peered out from behind bruises and a large black eye.  My countenance changed instantly from inquisitive to shock and simmering anger. "What seems to be the trouble?" I asked her after an awkward pause. "It just stopped" she said.  I got my cables out of the truck and proceeded to jump start the old and rattling Ford Fiesta. I asked her if she knew where the O'Reilly's was and she said that she did. I told her to head there and I would follow her.  I had the guys there check out the alternator and battery.  While we were waiting I asked her out of the blue, "you know you can't stay with him, don't you?" It was more of a statement than a question.  "I'm not" she said. "I'm leaving him.  I'm going home. Everything I own is in the car." From what I could see that consisted of a carton of cigarettes and some trash bags presumably full of clothes. I asked her where home was and she said Idaho (all this is taking place in Georgia on the eastern border with South Carolina). The tech comes out from under the hood and tells us it's the battery.  "I don't have any money" she says.  I told her not to worry about it and told the tech to get us one.   I figured it's the least I could do for her father, out there somewhere wishing his little girl was OK. I asked her how she planned on getting to Idaho, that it was more than a single tank of gas.  She said she didn't know.
That's how I left her. I wish I would have offered her a bus ticket instead of the battery. The whole thing left me with a profound sadness and a sense of the surreal. Wanted to help more but I just didn't feel comfortable giving her cash so she could buy cigarettes or meth or who knows what.  It's still hard to believe.

[Athan]

(Some quit gold brought forth from PeterGibbons & DocPetey as Novembers HOF Conductors.  I don't have the original date of Zam's post)

Zam wrote:
Here's what I don't like about bsarno's post: he's not describing tough situations. He's describing life. That's what many of your will not "get". And that's why a fair number of you WILL cave and come back (some 3 or 4 times) with a story of woe....which will be told in response to "what happened?". Don't give us the fucking "woe was me" story. That aint' why you caved. I actually think some cavers come back and assume that quitters (real quitters, not pausers) live some sort of charmed life.

Here's some news for you...

---over half of you WILL go through SERIOUS spousal issues and get divorced. Unless you live in that town were all the kids are above average.
---your parents WILL die. Some of them will go through a lot of pain before they pass. You will feel a lot of that pain.
---You WILL get sick and have some serious health scares.
---32,000+ people WILL die in auto wrecks. You WILL know one of them.
---You WILL get laid off, fired, demoted, or pressured to do shit you'd rather not do.
---800,000 people will end up filing bankruptcy this year. You WILL be one or know one or have one asked to crash on your couch.
---You WILL lose a spouse/partner. Half of you will be alive when it happens.
---A growing number of you WILL outlive your children (primarily to to obesity)
---That asshole with the checkbook WILL be in front of you at the grocery store, and they WILL refuse to write one fucking letter on that check until the last bottle of Ensure is rung up and they've determined that the 2-for-1 coupon does, in fact, cover the large can of SpaghettiOs.
---You WILL go through the same kind of shit everyone throughout history has ever had to go through..not using nicotine does NOT change the laws of "life".


All these things WILL happen, so do yourself a favor and realize it right now. Bitch about it...sure. But KNOW that quitting every day means that eventually you'll have to quit on the day Lassie kicks the bucket, the day you your grand baby is diagnosed, the day you lose the big account, whatever. Know it now....today...accept that you will have some dark-ass days ahead. Pray that they pass quickly. Hope that you live a charmed life. But PLAN on having to deal with the shit every one of us has dealt with, or will deal with. Life expectancy is 79 years...how realistic is it to think you'll not have some seriously damn stressful days ahead?


This is all Quitting 101, and I'm not surprised when the same shit comes up in every new group. But I am always surprised with the number of people that seem to assume that everyone else DOES NOT have issues like they do, and thus need an explanation of what "life" is like. Quitting nicotine does not give you a pass from shitty life choices or shitty luck.
I'm not picking on Sarno...well yes...I am picking on him. No one here owes him a first shot much less a fourth. It is a privilege to be here, and he's thus far taken advantage of that privilege. I don't give a shit about his fourth opportunity to fuck us over. I'm not writing this for him. I'm writing this for you, the desperate one who has just realized that this nicotine thing has got them by the nads, and that they want help, and that they are desperate enough to actually put in some effort to make this thing stick. I writing this for the foggy bastard who just may read bsarno's load of boo-hoo and conclude that we aren't serious about really quitting, that it can not really be done. To you I say this...it can be done. It IS being done. YOU can do it. REGARDLESS of what comes at you. And when you "get" that...nicotine will be but a joke to you.

[cbird65]

So we had a man cave in August yesterday.  I sat pondering it for a bit. It really is a selfish act, the cave.  Here was a man who had promised with a group of men similar to himself to not use nicotine for well over 100 days. He was not ignorant of nicotine and it being an addiction and all; you can't post a hundred days and still think this is like picking your nose or biting your nails. This guy knew full well what he was doing and CHOSE to do it anyway.  CHOSE to turn his back on those who supported him. In the beginning I felt sorry for the cavers and didn't understand why the vets were so hard on them.  My attitude has changed to one of contempt; of righteous indignation. I struggle to find the line between help and condemnation.  When do you write someone off? One cave? Two caves? At what point is it enabling? At what point is the caver redeemed?
I don't have a black and white answer to any of these questions. I do know that it is better to not find oneself in that condition. I've experienced enough dip dreams to know that I don't ever want to be in that position of having let my brothers down.

$64,000 Question right there... despise the action not the brother... 7 x 70????

[Athan]

So we had a man cave in August yesterday.  I sat pondering it for a bit. It really is a selfish act, the cave.  Here was a man who had promised with a group of men similar to himself to not use nicotine for well over 100 days. He was not ignorant of nicotine and it being an addiction and all; you can't post a hundred days and still think this is like picking your nose or biting your nails. This guy knew full well what he was doing and CHOSE to do it anyway.  CHOSE to turn his back on those who supported him. In the beginning I felt sorry for the cavers and didn't understand why the vets were so hard on them.  My attitude has changed to one of contempt; of righteous indignation. I struggle to find the line between help and condemnation.  When do you write someone off? One cave? Two caves? At what point is it enabling? At what point is the caver redeemed?
I don't have a black and white answer to any of these questions. I do know that it is better to not find oneself in that condition. I've experienced enough dip dreams to know that I don't ever want to be in that position of having let my brothers down.

[Skolvikings]

You sir are one of the greatest men I have yet to meet, we will change that one day my friend.

Love ya to the moon and back, 300 looks good on ya.

Love you.... BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[69franx]

Congrats on that sexy 300 and that zexy new moniker

[AddictArchitect]

WAY TO GO!!  Third floor buddy!!  Congrats!

[Athan]

Here I am at three hunert.  Now what?
Guess I’ll have to come back and post a three hunert one (much sexier than three hunert). Wouldn’t be right to not acknowledge those who without whom yesterday would not have been possible. Today is built on yesterday. This whole thing is one big web of accountability, one big wall of quit, a mountain of resolve, built on promises and help and interaction in a context that is enriched with each and every quitter I’ve had the pleasure to interact with.
Samr – the first quitter I directly interacted with via phone, who gave me 20 minutes and changed my life.  Paying it forward brother.  Your time wasn’t wasted
Skol, JGromo, Chris, Mack – you boys continue to be the bedrock of my quit.
Worktowin, UncleRico, 69Franx, Broccoli-saurus your daily support is the shizzle.
McDave – you are the spice of life. Everyone should have a McDave (getcher own – this one is mine)
Others who have shared trust and digits with me, by month simply to minimize the chance of overlooking someone…

May
Boovie, MavRik

June
Kid Riot, Kodiakdeath, Locrius, SoccerMan91, JPT, SwimDAd

July
Chris87,Cyman, Dwierick, Jperkins109, SuperDave9000

August
S412, AddictArchitect, Koba, Arrakisdq

September
USMC Ham, PeterGibbons, and DocPetey

October
QuitNWinay, Croakenhagen, BBQChips, and Copequits!

November
Jedi1991, Aumegrad

And, of extra special mention are the vets who have stayed well beyond the HOF to pay it forward, nay, to show what it means to pay it forward:

Candoit, FishFlorida, Gottadoit, BlueManChew, Sooverit, Batdad, Bomber, BrianG, Johnsmallberries, Brick, Cbird, Cmark, Cocheese, DanoJeno, Dbh68stang, Drbottux, E&C’sDad, Gregor, Greekg91, JB65, JE, Kdip, KyleJW, Law1358, Mike2017a, Miker0351, Miles, Mlotter, Parputt, Questgame, Rawls, Rewire, Robraveena, Srains918, T Putney, Trex, & Walterwhite.

Indebted to you all!  Let’s quit today!

[kybo]

295 days free and so ends a whirlwind trip to the Big Apple for my daughters sixteenth birthday.  Amazing what you can afford when you stop throwing away $5++/day!
Was looking for and found a slave, in the airport again.  You can always count on air transit to expose the slaves.  They're there, with their spit bottles ambling about with the rest of us. Was going to show him the site but he was gone before I got out of line for my half double half caf decaf (with a twist).  Poor bastard.  I hope he finds freedom with the rest of us.

I never used to notice the slaves too much.  I guess I was probably too concerned with making sure I got most of the spit in the bottle and didn't take the time to look around.  Now, I see those poor bastards everywhere. 

[Athan]

295 days free and so ends a whirlwind trip to the Big Apple for my daughters sixteenth birthday.  Amazing what you can afford when you stop throwing away $5++/day!
Was looking for and found a slave, in the airport again.  You can always count on air transit to expose the slaves.  They're there, with their spit bottles ambling about with the rest of us. Was going to show him the site but he was gone before I got out of line for my half double half caf decaf (with a twist).  Poor bastard.  I hope he finds freedom with the rest of us.

[Aumegrad]

Had a crazy crave this weekend.  Cooking 2000 chickens for the high school fundraiser.  Started at 0430.  Four fire pits, me, and 15 or so good ol boys.  I was talking to this one feller when he pulled his can out and got a knuckle deep three finger wad and packed his lip so tight it was shiny.  I stood there salivating and before I knew it I was itching for one, lip all twitching.  I texted the boys in my regular group.  Then, I called a brother in for reinforcement. Needed a verbal, audible, not gonna chew today statement.  And my brother took the call and heard me out and talked me back from the ledge. The big difference between me now and 288 days ago is that I would have succumbed to the "well, just one won't hurt" temptation. Not now.  Not today. Not for any reason. I hope all you out there have a quit brother in your back pocket who'll take a call at an inconvenient hour. I'm glad I did.

I thank you for posting this Athan.  I know I have said this before, but seeing these posts as a youngster in my quit remind me to never let my guard down.  Sitting here on day 85, I appreciate you typing this out and strengthening my quit not only today, but down the road as well.