7:43 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #351
Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper… This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it’s not over. This isn’t written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.
Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together… I was a bad ass I didn’t need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.
Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock…followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm…not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa…Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterday…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic… All that shit goes through your head…I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.
Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn’t going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support….THANK YOU.
