First Day Introduction

[Tuco]

Ok. I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet. I hate long posts.

Mrs. Medic had been doing well but was having some pain where she had her radiation. She ended up with some contracture from the radiation but she was sent for a scan to be sure the cancer didn't come back. Well...... The nodule in her lung had grown. Almost doubled in size in 3 months. Yikes.

So the new plan was to do the cyber knife and get this spot knocked out. Well.... they burned her face a bit doing the mold for the mask for the cyber knife - not physically damaging but emotionally devastating.

I'm gonna just say that scheduling and preregistration is as big an oxymoron as an honest politician.

Yesterday she had a brain MRI because of serious ocular migraines. Results pending.

Today we went to get a lung nodule biopsy and gold markers placed on the tumor. This will allow targeting of the cyber knife. Well.... we came in thinking it would be a 5 hour deal. They collapsed her lung and she has a chest tube for the night. She is ok and resting well but we had some scary moments even for me.

Today is quit day 350.
Today was harder for me emotionally than any previous day so far. I felt guilty because I was angry that I now had to make school and work arrangements because of this. I felt guilty because i was angry I had to change my schedule.
As our kids get older I think more of them and how they are coping.

I made a difficult decision for me tonight. I decided to come home from hospital and be with the kids. Plan is to discharge her in the morning after the chest tube is removed. I have never left her side thru a time like this but I am burned out and needed rest to care for her tomorrow. I needed to talk to my kids about why mommy didn't come home after school today. I needed to hold them.

Today is quit day 350 - there was not thought of nicotine, no scrambling for mints or tea leaves or fake. Today was a quit victory. It was emotional as hell but it was a quit victory.

Damn.. words fail me.

Prayers, Bro.

With you ben. Thoughts with your family.

Ben,

Its never an easy choice, but there is also no wrong choice. I am sure your wife is in good hands, and your kids need you right now. Rest and be strong tomorrow.

Thoughts and prayers for you and yours brother.

Continued positive thoughts and prayers, bro.

Thinking of you all day. Prayers and thoughts to you, your wife and children all day.

Damn, Med. Sending good thoughts and strength your way.

[30isEnuff]

Ok. I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet. I hate long posts.

Mrs. Medic had been doing well but was having some pain where she had her radiation. She ended up with some contracture from the radiation but she was sent for a scan to be sure the cancer didn't come back. Well...... The nodule in her lung had grown. Almost doubled in size in 3 months. Yikes.

So the new plan was to do the cyber knife and get this spot knocked out. Well.... they burned her face a bit doing the mold for the mask for the cyber knife - not physically damaging but emotionally devastating.

I'm gonna just say that scheduling and preregistration is as big an oxymoron as an honest politician.

Yesterday she had a brain MRI because of serious ocular migraines. Results pending.

Today we went to get a lung nodule biopsy and gold markers placed on the tumor. This will allow targeting of the cyber knife. Well.... we came in thinking it would be a 5 hour deal. They collapsed her lung and she has a chest tube for the night. She is ok and resting well but we had some scary moments even for me.

Today is quit day 350.
Today was harder for me emotionally than any previous day so far. I felt guilty because I was angry that I now had to make school and work arrangements because of this. I felt guilty because i was angry I had to change my schedule.
As our kids get older I think more of them and how they are coping.

I made a difficult decision for me tonight. I decided to come home from hospital and be with the kids. Plan is to discharge her in the morning after the chest tube is removed. I have never left her side thru a time like this but I am burned out and needed rest to care for her tomorrow. I needed to talk to my kids about why mommy didn't come home after school today. I needed to hold them.

Today is quit day 350 - there was not thought of nicotine, no scrambling for mints or tea leaves or fake. Today was a quit victory. It was emotional as hell but it was a quit victory.

Damn.. words fail me.

Prayers, Bro.

With you ben. Thoughts with your family.

Ben,

Its never an easy choice, but there is also no wrong choice. I am sure your wife is in good hands, and your kids need you right now. Rest and be strong tomorrow.

Thoughts and prayers for you and yours brother.

Continued positive thoughts and prayers, bro.

Thinking of you all day. Prayers and thoughts to you, your wife and children all day.

[Nolaq]

Ok. I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet. I hate long posts.

Mrs. Medic had been doing well but was having some pain where she had her radiation. She ended up with some contracture from the radiation but she was sent for a scan to be sure the cancer didn't come back. Well...... The nodule in her lung had grown. Almost doubled in size in 3 months. Yikes.

So the new plan was to do the cyber knife and get this spot knocked out. Well.... they burned her face a bit doing the mold for the mask for the cyber knife - not physically damaging but emotionally devastating.

I'm gonna just say that scheduling and preregistration is as big an oxymoron as an honest politician.

Yesterday she had a brain MRI because of serious ocular migraines. Results pending.

Today we went to get a lung nodule biopsy and gold markers placed on the tumor. This will allow targeting of the cyber knife. Well.... we came in thinking it would be a 5 hour deal. They collapsed her lung and she has a chest tube for the night. She is ok and resting well but we had some scary moments even for me.

Today is quit day 350.
Today was harder for me emotionally than any previous day so far. I felt guilty because I was angry that I now had to make school and work arrangements because of this. I felt guilty because i was angry I had to change my schedule.
As our kids get older I think more of them and how they are coping.

I made a difficult decision for me tonight. I decided to come home from hospital and be with the kids. Plan is to discharge her in the morning after the chest tube is removed. I have never left her side thru a time like this but I am burned out and needed rest to care for her tomorrow. I needed to talk to my kids about why mommy didn't come home after school today. I needed to hold them.

Today is quit day 350 - there was not thought of nicotine, no scrambling for mints or tea leaves or fake. Today was a quit victory. It was emotional as hell but it was a quit victory.

Damn.. words fail me.

Prayers, Bro.

With you ben. Thoughts with your family.

Ben,

Its never an easy choice, but there is also no wrong choice. I am sure your wife is in good hands, and your kids need you right now. Rest and be strong tomorrow.

Thoughts and prayers for you and yours brother.

Continued positive thoughts and prayers, bro.

[J2b]

Ok. I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet. I hate long posts.

Mrs. Medic had been doing well but was having some pain where she had her radiation. She ended up with some contracture from the radiation but she was sent for a scan to be sure the cancer didn't come back. Well...... The nodule in her lung had grown. Almost doubled in size in 3 months. Yikes.

So the new plan was to do the cyber knife and get this spot knocked out. Well.... they burned her face a bit doing the mold for the mask for the cyber knife - not physically damaging but emotionally devastating.

I'm gonna just say that scheduling and preregistration is as big an oxymoron as an honest politician.

Yesterday she had a brain MRI because of serious ocular migraines. Results pending.

Today we went to get a lung nodule biopsy and gold markers placed on the tumor. This will allow targeting of the cyber knife. Well.... we came in thinking it would be a 5 hour deal. They collapsed her lung and she has a chest tube for the night. She is ok and resting well but we had some scary moments even for me.

Today is quit day 350.
Today was harder for me emotionally than any previous day so far. I felt guilty because I was angry that I now had to make school and work arrangements because of this. I felt guilty because i was angry I had to change my schedule.
As our kids get older I think more of them and how they are coping.

I made a difficult decision for me tonight. I decided to come home from hospital and be with the kids. Plan is to discharge her in the morning after the chest tube is removed. I have never left her side thru a time like this but I am burned out and needed rest to care for her tomorrow. I needed to talk to my kids about why mommy didn't come home after school today. I needed to hold them.

Today is quit day 350 - there was not thought of nicotine, no scrambling for mints or tea leaves or fake. Today was a quit victory. It was emotional as hell but it was a quit victory.

Damn.. words fail me.

Prayers, Bro.

With you ben. Thoughts with your family.

Ben,

Its never an easy choice, but there is also no wrong choice. I am sure your wife is in good hands, and your kids need you right now. Rest and be strong tomorrow.

Thoughts and prayers for you and yours brother.

[basshaug]

Ok. I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet. I hate long posts.

Mrs. Medic had been doing well but was having some pain where she had her radiation. She ended up with some contracture from the radiation but she was sent for a scan to be sure the cancer didn't come back. Well...... The nodule in her lung had grown. Almost doubled in size in 3 months. Yikes.

So the new plan was to do the cyber knife and get this spot knocked out. Well.... they burned her face a bit doing the mold for the mask for the cyber knife - not physically damaging but emotionally devastating.

I'm gonna just say that scheduling and preregistration is as big an oxymoron as an honest politician.

Yesterday she had a brain MRI because of serious ocular migraines. Results pending.

Today we went to get a lung nodule biopsy and gold markers placed on the tumor. This will allow targeting of the cyber knife. Well.... we came in thinking it would be a 5 hour deal. They collapsed her lung and she has a chest tube for the night. She is ok and resting well but we had some scary moments even for me.

Today is quit day 350.
Today was harder for me emotionally than any previous day so far. I felt guilty because I was angry that I now had to make school and work arrangements because of this. I felt guilty because i was angry I had to change my schedule.
As our kids get older I think more of them and how they are coping.

I made a difficult decision for me tonight. I decided to come home from hospital and be with the kids. Plan is to discharge her in the morning after the chest tube is removed. I have never left her side thru a time like this but I am burned out and needed rest to care for her tomorrow. I needed to talk to my kids about why mommy didn't come home after school today. I needed to hold them.

Today is quit day 350 - there was not thought of nicotine, no scrambling for mints or tea leaves or fake. Today was a quit victory. It was emotional as hell but it was a quit victory.

Damn.. words fail me.

Prayers, Bro.

With you ben. Thoughts with your family.

[Mcarmo44]

Ok. I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet. I hate long posts.

Mrs. Medic had been doing well but was having some pain where she had her radiation. She ended up with some contracture from the radiation but she was sent for a scan to be sure the cancer didn't come back. Well...... The nodule in her lung had grown. Almost doubled in size in 3 months. Yikes.

So the new plan was to do the cyber knife and get this spot knocked out. Well.... they burned her face a bit doing the mold for the mask for the cyber knife - not physically damaging but emotionally devastating.

I'm gonna just say that scheduling and preregistration is as big an oxymoron as an honest politician.

Yesterday she had a brain MRI because of serious ocular migraines. Results pending.

Today we went to get a lung nodule biopsy and gold markers placed on the tumor. This will allow targeting of the cyber knife. Well.... we came in thinking it would be a 5 hour deal. They collapsed her lung and she has a chest tube for the night. She is ok and resting well but we had some scary moments even for me.

Today is quit day 350.
Today was harder for me emotionally than any previous day so far. I felt guilty because I was angry that I now had to make school and work arrangements because of this. I felt guilty because i was angry I had to change my schedule.
As our kids get older I think more of them and how they are coping.

I made a difficult decision for me tonight. I decided to come home from hospital and be with the kids. Plan is to discharge her in the morning after the chest tube is removed. I have never left her side thru a time like this but I am burned out and needed rest to care for her tomorrow. I needed to talk to my kids about why mommy didn't come home after school today. I needed to hold them.

Today is quit day 350 - there was not thought of nicotine, no scrambling for mints or tea leaves or fake. Today was a quit victory. It was emotional as hell but it was a quit victory.

Damn.. words fail me.

Prayers, Bro.

Prayers man.

[30yraddict]

Ok. I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet. I hate long posts.

Mrs. Medic had been doing well but was having some pain where she had her radiation. She ended up with some contracture from the radiation but she was sent for a scan to be sure the cancer didn't come back. Well...... The nodule in her lung had grown. Almost doubled in size in 3 months. Yikes.

So the new plan was to do the cyber knife and get this spot knocked out. Well.... they burned her face a bit doing the mold for the mask for the cyber knife - not physically damaging but emotionally devastating.

I'm gonna just say that scheduling and preregistration is as big an oxymoron as an honest politician.

Yesterday she had a brain MRI because of serious ocular migraines. Results pending.

Today we went to get a lung nodule biopsy and gold markers placed on the tumor. This will allow targeting of the cyber knife. Well.... we came in thinking it would be a 5 hour deal. They collapsed her lung and she has a chest tube for the night. She is ok and resting well but we had some scary moments even for me.

Today is quit day 350.
Today was harder for me emotionally than any previous day so far. I felt guilty because I was angry that I now had to make school and work arrangements because of this. I felt guilty because i was angry I had to change my schedule.
As our kids get older I think more of them and how they are coping.

I made a difficult decision for me tonight. I decided to come home from hospital and be with the kids. Plan is to discharge her in the morning after the chest tube is removed. I have never left her side thru a time like this but I am burned out and needed rest to care for her tomorrow. I needed to talk to my kids about why mommy didn't come home after school today. I needed to hold them.

Today is quit day 350 - there was not thought of nicotine, no scrambling for mints or tea leaves or fake. Today was a quit victory. It was emotional as hell but it was a quit victory.

Damn.. words fail me.

Prayers, Bro.

[Medicff]

Ok. I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet. I hate long posts.

Mrs. Medic had been doing well but was having some pain where she had her radiation. She ended up with some contracture from the radiation but she was sent for a scan to be sure the cancer didn't come back. Well...... The nodule in her lung had grown. Almost doubled in size in 3 months. Yikes.

So the new plan was to do the cyber knife and get this spot knocked out. Well.... they burned her face a bit doing the mold for the mask for the cyber knife - not physically damaging but emotionally devastating.

I'm gonna just say that scheduling and preregistration is as big an oxymoron as an honest politician.

Yesterday she had a brain MRI because of serious ocular migraines. Results pending.

Today we went to get a lung nodule biopsy and gold markers placed on the tumor. This will allow targeting of the cyber knife. Well.... we came in thinking it would be a 5 hour deal. They collapsed her lung and she has a chest tube for the night. She is ok and resting well but we had some scary moments even for me.

Today is quit day 350.
Today was harder for me emotionally than any previous day so far. I felt guilty because I was angry that I now had to make school and work arrangements because of this. I felt guilty because i was angry I had to change my schedule.
As our kids get older I think more of them and how they are coping.

I made a difficult decision for me tonight. I decided to come home from hospital and be with the kids. Plan is to discharge her in the morning after the chest tube is removed. I have never left her side thru a time like this but I am burned out and needed rest to care for her tomorrow. I needed to talk to my kids about why mommy didn't come home after school today. I needed to hold them.

Today is quit day 350 - there was not thought of nicotine, no scrambling for mints or tea leaves or fake. Today was a quit victory. It was emotional as hell but it was a quit victory.

[CavMan83]

I'm about 40 minutes early, but I just wanted to drop in and congratulate you on hitting the 3rd floor!! That, my friend, is a huge accomplishment. You're one of the badassest (?) quitters I've met on here and I'm pumped to see you hit another milestone.

I'll see you on floor 3 soon and I will gladly quit 300 more days with you, sir. Enjoy the day and congrats again!

You are 40 minutes early? Is that what your girlfriend always says about you?

Thanks Jub(ella). I quit with you guys too.

HAHAHA....funny Medicff! I know I'm a day late, but congrats on the 300! Next one is HUGE!!

[Medicff]

I'm about 40 minutes early, but I just wanted to drop in and congratulate you on hitting the 3rd floor!! That, my friend, is a huge accomplishment. You're one of the badassest (?) quitters I've met on here and I'm pumped to see you hit another milestone.

I'll see you on floor 3 soon and I will gladly quit 300 more days with you, sir. Enjoy the day and congrats again!

You are 40 minutes early? Is that what your girlfriend always says about you?

Thanks Jub(ella). I quit with you guys too.

[trigerhapy]

I'm about 40 minutes early, but I just wanted to drop in and congratulate you on hitting the 3rd floor!! That, my friend, is a huge accomplishment. You're one of the badassest (?) quitters I've met on here and I'm pumped to see you hit another milestone.

I'll see you on floor 3 soon and I will gladly quit 300 more days with you, sir. Enjoy the day and congrats again!

3rd floor, Congratulations!
BAQ April Ape support

[ntfd206]

Starting day one now. Little late at night but they say NOW is the right time. Just dumped my shit down the toilet and never looking back. 26y/o firefighter husband and father. My first son born 3 months ago. I'm doing it for him, my wife, and myself. I'm done.

[Jubs]

I'm about 40 minutes early, but I just wanted to drop in and congratulate you on hitting the 3rd floor!! That, my friend, is a huge accomplishment. You're one of the badassest (?) quitters I've met on here and I'm pumped to see you hit another milestone.

I'll see you on floor 3 soon and I will gladly quit 300 more days with you, sir. Enjoy the day and congrats again!

[30isEnuff]

Disclaimer: This is my log of things so I can keep track of my good and bad days.

Today was full of tests.

Test 1: Son awake at 04:45 vomiting. Yay. Dealt with back to bed. Up at 5:15 for work. Posted roll and began the day.

Test 2: I had a horrible call where a young family lost a 3 month old child today. I was checking on one the the medics when the shock was wearing off and the reality was setting in. I walked around the truck to see him packing a lip. I wanted it. Bad. I didn't ask and he didn't offer. I stayed quit.

Test 3: I take off early from work fresh from dealing with ^^^^ and the wife is sick (see previous posts) and take kids to YMCA for swimming lessons. Well.... the YMCA was like Walmart on black Friday. I dropped off my oldest so she could begin lessons. I made laps in the lot to get a spot to park. Had 2 spots "stolen" from me as I patiently wandered the parking lot for 25 minutes. I stayed quit.

Its day 283 for me. Some days are like day 1 all over.
You get stronger some days and others its like climbing Everest with and ice pick.

You quitters who text each other and hold each other up make a difference on the hard days.

When I think my job is a bitch, I'll remember this post. You have a strong quit going to get through trials like this.

'finger point'

Day 2, 200, or 2000. We're all just a moment away from being that knuckle deep, poison poppin, lyin nitwit, again. That daily post has not failed me yet, though. Proud of ya, brotha.

Great job Medic!
Closing the door on the poison is a process.
You are proceeding like a Rock Star!
prayers up for you and your family today.

[copingwithoutcopen]

Disclaimer: This is my log of things so I can keep track of my good and bad days.

Today was full of tests.

Test 1: Son awake at 04:45 vomiting. Yay. Dealt with back to bed. Up at 5:15 for work. Posted roll and began the day.

Test 2: I had a horrible call where a young family lost a 3 month old child today. I was checking on one the the medics when the shock was wearing off and the reality was setting in. I walked around the truck to see him packing a lip. I wanted it. Bad. I didn't ask and he didn't offer. I stayed quit.

Test 3: I take off early from work fresh from dealing with ^^^^ and the wife is sick (see previous posts) and take kids to YMCA for swimming lessons. Well.... the YMCA was like Walmart on black Friday. I dropped off my oldest so she could begin lessons. I made laps in the lot to get a spot to park. Had 2 spots "stolen" from me as I patiently wandered the parking lot for 25 minutes. I stayed quit.

Its day 283 for me. Some days are like day 1 all over.
You get stronger some days and others its like climbing Everest with and ice pick.

You quitters who text each other and hold each other up make a difference on the hard days.

When I think my job is a bitch, I'll remember this post. You have a strong quit going to get through trials like this.

'finger point'

Day 2, 200, or 2000. We're all just a moment away from being that knuckle deep, poison poppin, lyin nitwit, again. That daily post has not failed me yet, though. Proud of ya, brotha.