Gum Grafts - I've had 5!

[Kubrick]

Damn, I can't believe after 70 something days or whatever it was you thought you needed nicotine. That shit was long gone out of your system. And you still put that crap in your mouth after texting and talking with people? Just sad and weak.

Hell, I'm on day 154 and still get craves, I'm sure there are gentlemen here with many more nic free days under their belts that still get them.

New quitters learn from this. Especially going into the 70s. I experienced some of my worst craves from the late 60s until almost the 120s. I chewed a crapton of smokey mountain during that time, but it got me through.

I'm finally feeling normal again with hardly any craves at all, but just be warned, it comes in waves and it can suck. Don't stray, post roll and reach out if you need to.

[Notdeadyet]

OK fellas here goes.. I really appreciate all the texts  calls.. seriously I have been as far south KY as I can go without being in TN with little phone service.. the reason I did not post this morning was I intended to use Nic in some form today and I did.. I respect you all and the site too much so I will spare you the details.. but it started with nic gum and that only worked for a while today.. I will say this I have not gone full honey badger, but still I have truly caved today...I promise I do not have anything in my mouth as I write this, I do respect you guys more than that.   I lost the desire to quit days ago.. and struggled to post everyday for the past week... I knew once I posted I would not use..thats why i didnt post today.. I am sorry guys.. I don't and will not go into grave detail.. I have had a lot of addiction in my life.. Tobacco is the last one..  In the last few days I have honestly struggled with the thoughts of doing other things as well.. and I have posted several times.. if i thought really thought I was going to drink again I would use nic..I truthfully caved days ago in my mind, it just took until today to catch up.. I know the hell that is about to follow this when it hits the thread!  Go ahead guys let me have it.. no matter what some of you will think or say.. I am not a failure or a sack of shit or any of the other things that I know is about to follow..and no matter what you guys say I will not believe I am a failure.. I have accomplished much in my life and over came a hell of a lot of addiction!  Since quitting dip over 2 month ago.. I am pre-diabetic (all the sugar and candy I have eaten I guess?).  I'm 10lbs over weight, even while working out! I have dipped more coffee than I can even say.. my gall bladder is in knots.. I still can't sleep.. and still struggle to focus.. It's no excuse but I have so much work to do and a lot of people are depending on me to get things done.. I have to be me again?  I know I will want to quit again.. maybe 2 days.. maybe 2 weeks? maybe 2 months?  Will I come back here?  Don't know after the terrific beating you guys are about to give me.. In the recovery circles I come from we truly don't kick somebody when they are down..  And if I am truly honest I am not down, so kick away.  I actually feel normal again.. The one thing i will do and be is honest.. I respect you guys more than you know..  I really thought I was tough!  that's a joke!  you guys that keep doing this.. you are tough.. hats off to you all.. Diesel.. Tinman.. Wastepanel..Raider.. Pave.. swede..hell Gordy even wrote my PM today..  WT you are without a doubt one bag ass quitter... Thanks boys... sorry if you feel that I let you all down.. I really hope you all can do it better than me!  Signing Off - Gooch

I want to reply and am not sure what I feel! Mike has shared with me a lot of very personal shit, confided in me. Even though I do not agree with your decision that is for me. You are still honorable in my mind because I know you wanted to cave other days but didn't only because you had made a promise. As for today, he didn't cave right away. He texted me this morning and shared his troubles and intentions. I know you struggled hard in making this decision and didn't do it in the heat of the moment. When you get your shit together I know you'll be back, I'll be here if it's 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years. I will not judge you the same as I do some other caves it wasn't done in the dark hiding or on a whim without prior thought. I may take shit for saying that but I stick to it! All that being said: caving is a really stupid decision that gives temporary satisfaction (maybe) for circumstances that can be dealt with in much better ways. Everyone reading this learn a lesson. Prepare your selves in advance for all types of circumstances, know your plan well follow through on it and make sure there are no loop holes in it!!

WT

I can't imagine giving in like this. Short of some Big Tobacco CEO kidnapping my wife, I can't fathom any reason to go back. Announcing your intentions and then ignoring countless people during the day? You can come back any time but based on your actions today, I don't think you'll quit then either.

Number 1, very ingenious to post this on the intro thread. That way you can ninja read all These words we will throw at you without having to log in. Very ingenious. Very cowardly as well.

Secondly, you aren't sorry. Why are you apologizing for a decision you chose to make? Are you sorry you made the decision? Are you sorry you failed in your past decision? I'm really kind of confused where "sorry" comes into play here.

Finally, you've had 5 gum grafts. Welcome back to that normal. I'm glad that normal is what you crave. I like my gums. I like my life. I feel normal.

It's easy to quit when you want to quit. It's when times are tough and our adreneline is low that we struggle. It's these times we lean on what we've learned. Nicotine does not make you a better employer, worker, smarter, or a better dad, husband, or coach. It doesn't alleviate the stress in your life. It lets you escape in euphoria for a brief moment while it kills a small part inside you. It then plants itself firmly in your life, and its presence becomes "necessary".

I'm very disappointed. Very.

Take a look back through your intro page, look at all those around you, supporting your effort in quitting. Time after time of posting, support was there. Venting, and support was there. Craving, and support was there. Depression, and support was there. Was this all a facade? Fuck no, it wasn't! I'm with the others here and just don't understand what could be so fucking intense that you decided to jump. Don't give us the whole BS story about other support groups and how they don't kick when you're down. You know damn well what you signed up for when you created your user ID. I'm kicking and I'm fucking hot about it. You let some thought in your mind turn you into a failing addict. For shits sake, we are all addicts, we just choose to win on a daily basis. This premeditated, deliberate no posting roll is probably the most disheartening. You've thought about caving for a while. Knowing that, and with the other support groups you've been involved in, did you once think about seeking some professional help to counsel you through this funk? Did you truly give everything you had to give? Did you honestly want to keep your life on track? If you had, you would still be posting roll, not a poor fucking excuse of an apology. Don't patronize us with your psedo-psychological praises about how strong we are. We are all addicts. Addicts have weaknesses. We just choose to use each other to prop us up. Doesn't matter if its minutes, hours, days, weeks, or months that we need propped up. That is why the anger and rage against a caver is as strong as it is Gooch, we all have been there and gotten through those moments to the other side because of each other. You totally and completely disappoint me, unacceptable.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't the "other support groups" for things such as alcohol and illicit drug addictions consider nicotine to be a "non-mind altering" substance? Therefore, these other support groups do not emphasize or require that you also quit nicotine?

If that is indeed the case then why is it such a surprise that OUR support group operates a little bit differently than those for alcohol and illicit drugs? If we fundamentally disagree over the effect of nicotine on the human brain then wouldn't it be a given that our method is going to differ?

I'm just sick of hearing about "other support groups" and how they're so much better than KTC. If that is your opinion, then please, by all means, go to your other groups and let them help you quit nicotine. My guess is that they would almost certainly be willing to help you, but they may not be as qualified as those of us on KTC.

The rest of your explanation is just addict speak. Although I will say your sporadic behavior during your short time here and rather whiny approach to OUR methods makes your planned cave less of a surprise for this quitter.

I agree Coach - Gooch just needs to nut-up and jump off the pity wagon. Maybe some day he'll really be ready to do this. Hope it's not too late when he does.

[Coach Steve]

OK fellas here goes.. I really appreciate all the texts  calls.. seriously I have been as far south KY as I can go without being in TN with little phone service.. the reason I did not post this morning was I intended to use Nic in some form today and I did.. I respect you all and the site too much so I will spare you the details.. but it started with nic gum and that only worked for a while today.. I will say this I have not gone full honey badger, but still I have truly caved today...I promise I do not have anything in my mouth as I write this, I do respect you guys more than that.   I lost the desire to quit days ago.. and struggled to post everyday for the past week... I knew once I posted I would not use..thats why i didnt post today.. I am sorry guys.. I don't and will not go into grave detail.. I have had a lot of addiction in my life.. Tobacco is the last one..  In the last few days I have honestly struggled with the thoughts of doing other things as well.. and I have posted several times.. if i thought really thought I was going to drink again I would use nic..I truthfully caved days ago in my mind, it just took until today to catch up.. I know the hell that is about to follow this when it hits the thread!  Go ahead guys let me have it.. no matter what some of you will think or say.. I am not a failure or a sack of shit or any of the other things that I know is about to follow..and no matter what you guys say I will not believe I am a failure.. I have accomplished much in my life and over came a hell of a lot of addiction!  Since quitting dip over 2 month ago.. I am pre-diabetic (all the sugar and candy I have eaten I guess?).  I'm 10lbs over weight, even while working out! I have dipped more coffee than I can even say.. my gall bladder is in knots.. I still can't sleep.. and still struggle to focus.. It's no excuse but I have so much work to do and a lot of people are depending on me to get things done.. I have to be me again?  I know I will want to quit again.. maybe 2 days.. maybe 2 weeks? maybe 2 months?  Will I come back here?  Don't know after the terrific beating you guys are about to give me.. In the recovery circles I come from we truly don't kick somebody when they are down..  And if I am truly honest I am not down, so kick away.  I actually feel normal again.. The one thing i will do and be is honest.. I respect you guys more than you know..  I really thought I was tough!  that's a joke!  you guys that keep doing this.. you are tough.. hats off to you all.. Diesel.. Tinman.. Wastepanel..Raider.. Pave.. swede..hell Gordy even wrote my PM today..  WT you are without a doubt one bag ass quitter... Thanks boys... sorry if you feel that I let you all down.. I really hope you all can do it better than me!  Signing Off - Gooch

I want to reply and am not sure what I feel! Mike has shared with me a lot of very personal shit, confided in me. Even though I do not agree with your decision that is for me. You are still honorable in my mind because I know you wanted to cave other days but didn't only because you had made a promise. As for today, he didn't cave right away. He texted me this morning and shared his troubles and intentions. I know you struggled hard in making this decision and didn't do it in the heat of the moment. When you get your shit together I know you'll be back, I'll be here if it's 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years. I will not judge you the same as I do some other caves it wasn't done in the dark hiding or on a whim without prior thought. I may take shit for saying that but I stick to it! All that being said: caving is a really stupid decision that gives temporary satisfaction (maybe) for circumstances that can be dealt with in much better ways. Everyone reading this learn a lesson. Prepare your selves in advance for all types of circumstances, know your plan well follow through on it and make sure there are no loop holes in it!!

WT

I can't imagine giving in like this. Short of some Big Tobacco CEO kidnapping my wife, I can't fathom any reason to go back. Announcing your intentions and then ignoring countless people during the day? You can come back any time but based on your actions today, I don't think you'll quit then either.

Number 1, very ingenious to post this on the intro thread. That way you can ninja read all These words we will throw at you without having to log in. Very ingenious. Very cowardly as well.

Secondly, you aren't sorry. Why are you apologizing for a decision you chose to make? Are you sorry you made the decision? Are you sorry you failed in your past decision? I'm really kind of confused where "sorry" comes into play here.

Finally, you've had 5 gum grafts. Welcome back to that normal. I'm glad that normal is what you crave. I like my gums. I like my life. I feel normal.

It's easy to quit when you want to quit. It's when times are tough and our adreneline is low that we struggle. It's these times we lean on what we've learned. Nicotine does not make you a better employer, worker, smarter, or a better dad, husband, or coach. It doesn't alleviate the stress in your life. It lets you escape in euphoria for a brief moment while it kills a small part inside you. It then plants itself firmly in your life, and its presence becomes "necessary".

I'm very disappointed. Very.

Take a look back through your intro page, look at all those around you, supporting your effort in quitting. Time after time of posting, support was there. Venting, and support was there. Craving, and support was there. Depression, and support was there. Was this all a facade? Fuck no, it wasn't! I'm with the others here and just don't understand what could be so fucking intense that you decided to jump. Don't give us the whole BS story about other support groups and how they don't kick when you're down. You know damn well what you signed up for when you created your user ID. I'm kicking and I'm fucking hot about it. You let some thought in your mind turn you into a failing addict. For shits sake, we are all addicts, we just choose to win on a daily basis. This premeditated, deliberate no posting roll is probably the most disheartening. You've thought about caving for a while. Knowing that, and with the other support groups you've been involved in, did you once think about seeking some professional help to counsel you through this funk? Did you truly give everything you had to give? Did you honestly want to keep your life on track? If you had, you would still be posting roll, not a poor fucking excuse of an apology. Don't patronize us with your psedo-psychological praises about how strong we are. We are all addicts. Addicts have weaknesses. We just choose to use each other to prop us up. Doesn't matter if its minutes, hours, days, weeks, or months that we need propped up. That is why the anger and rage against a caver is as strong as it is Gooch, we all have been there and gotten through those moments to the other side because of each other. You totally and completely disappoint me, unacceptable.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't the "other support groups" for things such as alcohol and illicit drug addictions consider nicotine to be a "non-mind altering" substance? Therefore, these other support groups do not emphasize or require that you also quit nicotine?

If that is indeed the case then why is it such a surprise that OUR support group operates a little bit differently than those for alcohol and illicit drugs? If we fundamentally disagree over the effect of nicotine on the human brain then wouldn't it be a given that our method is going to differ?

I'm just sick of hearing about "other support groups" and how they're so much better than KTC. If that is your opinion, then please, by all means, go to your other groups and let them help you quit nicotine. My guess is that they would almost certainly be willing to help you, but they may not be as qualified as those of us on KTC.

The rest of your explanation is just addict speak. Although I will say your sporadic behavior during your short time here and rather whiny approach to OUR methods makes your planned cave less of a surprise for this quitter.

[eric71]

OK fellas here goes.. I really appreciate all the texts  calls.. seriously I have been as far south KY as I can go without being in TN with little phone service.. the reason I did not post this morning was I intended to use Nic in some form today and I did.. I respect you all and the site too much so I will spare you the details.. but it started with nic gum and that only worked for a while today.. I will say this I have not gone full honey badger, but still I have truly caved today...I promise I do not have anything in my mouth as I write this, I do respect you guys more than that.   I lost the desire to quit days ago.. and struggled to post everyday for the past week... I knew once I posted I would not use..thats why i didnt post today.. I am sorry guys.. I don't and will not go into grave detail.. I have had a lot of addiction in my life.. Tobacco is the last one..  In the last few days I have honestly struggled with the thoughts of doing other things as well.. and I have posted several times.. if i thought really thought I was going to drink again I would use nic..I truthfully caved days ago in my mind, it just took until today to catch up.. I know the hell that is about to follow this when it hits the thread!  Go ahead guys let me have it.. no matter what some of you will think or say.. I am not a failure or a sack of shit or any of the other things that I know is about to follow..and no matter what you guys say I will not believe I am a failure.. I have accomplished much in my life and over came a hell of a lot of addiction!  Since quitting dip over 2 month ago.. I am pre-diabetic (all the sugar and candy I have eaten I guess?).  I'm 10lbs over weight, even while working out! I have dipped more coffee than I can even say.. my gall bladder is in knots.. I still can't sleep.. and still struggle to focus.. It's no excuse but I have so much work to do and a lot of people are depending on me to get things done.. I have to be me again?  I know I will want to quit again.. maybe 2 days.. maybe 2 weeks? maybe 2 months?  Will I come back here?  Don't know after the terrific beating you guys are about to give me.. In the recovery circles I come from we truly don't kick somebody when they are down..  And if I am truly honest I am not down, so kick away.  I actually feel normal again.. The one thing i will do and be is honest.. I respect you guys more than you know..  I really thought I was tough!  that's a joke!  you guys that keep doing this.. you are tough.. hats off to you all.. Diesel.. Tinman.. Wastepanel..Raider.. Pave.. swede..hell Gordy even wrote my PM today..  WT you are without a doubt one bag ass quitter... Thanks boys... sorry if you feel that I let you all down.. I really hope you all can do it better than me!  Signing Off - Gooch

I want to reply and am not sure what I feel! Mike has shared with me a lot of very personal shit, confided in me. Even though I do not agree with your decision that is for me. You are still honorable in my mind because I know you wanted to cave other days but didn't only because you had made a promise. As for today, he didn't cave right away. He texted me this morning and shared his troubles and intentions. I know you struggled hard in making this decision and didn't do it in the heat of the moment. When you get your shit together I know you'll be back, I'll be here if it's 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years. I will not judge you the same as I do some other caves it wasn't done in the dark hiding or on a whim without prior thought. I may take shit for saying that but I stick to it! All that being said: caving is a really stupid decision that gives temporary satisfaction (maybe) for circumstances that can be dealt with in much better ways. Everyone reading this learn a lesson. Prepare your selves in advance for all types of circumstances, know your plan well follow through on it and make sure there are no loop holes in it!!

WT

I can't imagine giving in like this. Short of some Big Tobacco CEO kidnapping my wife, I can't fathom any reason to go back. Announcing your intentions and then ignoring countless people during the day? You can come back any time but based on your actions today, I don't think you'll quit then either.

Number 1, very ingenious to post this on the intro thread. That way you can ninja read all These words we will throw at you without having to log in. Very ingenious. Very cowardly as well.

Secondly, you aren't sorry. Why are you apologizing for a decision you chose to make? Are you sorry you made the decision? Are you sorry you failed in your past decision? I'm really kind of confused where "sorry" comes into play here.

Finally, you've had 5 gum grafts. Welcome back to that normal. I'm glad that normal is what you crave. I like my gums. I like my life. I feel normal.

It's easy to quit when you want to quit. It's when times are tough and our adreneline is low that we struggle. It's these times we lean on what we've learned. Nicotine does not make you a better employer, worker, smarter, or a better dad, husband, or coach. It doesn't alleviate the stress in your life. It lets you escape in euphoria for a brief moment while it kills a small part inside you. It then plants itself firmly in your life, and its presence becomes "necessary".

I'm very disappointed. Very.

Take a look back through your intro page, look at all those around you, supporting your effort in quitting. Time after time of posting, support was there. Venting, and support was there. Craving, and support was there. Depression, and support was there. Was this all a facade? Fuck no, it wasn't! I'm with the others here and just don't understand what could be so fucking intense that you decided to jump. Don't give us the whole BS story about other support groups and how they don't kick when you're down. You know damn well what you signed up for when you created your user ID. I'm kicking and I'm fucking hot about it. You let some thought in your mind turn you into a failing addict. For shits sake, we are all addicts, we just choose to win on a daily basis. This premeditated, deliberate no posting roll is probably the most disheartening. You've thought about caving for a while. Knowing that, and with the other support groups you've been involved in, did you once think about seeking some professional help to counsel you through this funk? Did you truly give everything you had to give? Did you honestly want to keep your life on track? If you had, you would still be posting roll, not a poor fucking excuse of an apology. Don't patronize us with your psedo-psychological praises about how strong we are. We are all addicts. Addicts have weaknesses. We just choose to use each other to prop us up. Doesn't matter if its minutes, hours, days, weeks, or months that we need propped up. That is why the anger and rage against a caver is as strong as it is Gooch, we all have been there and gotten through those moments to the other side because of each other. You totally and completely disappoint me, unacceptable.

[Wt57]

Well gooch.. I would say maybe we'll see you around, but you might be dead before long. good luck with that....

what a fuckin shame.. i'm seriously sick to my stomach.. I thought he'd be the one to make it for sure...

Kana, you best keep a close eye on yourself. "I thought he'd be the one to make it for sure..." concerns me.

Let me correct your thinking.

If there's ONE who will make it, that would be YOU.

Don't worry about FuckGooch. He's a dime-a-dozen, just look around.

Hell, look in Sept '11, we had a caver today with well over 400 days. Why? Same old story. Lost the desire to stay vigilant and a short time later he lost his quit.

Shut the door, Kana, and don't let people like GooeyPussy open it.

Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom. Never forget it!

I'm so pissed at tabacco today! Follow me and strengthen your resolve! My quit has been solid and my determination fricking 110% but this victory of the bitch has doubled my resolve and determination! Any new quitters or others that haven't solidified your plan of action if faced with a serious crave, get off your ass and get #'s of contacts, let them know your plan and their role in it and know how you are going to face temptation when it hits because it's not a matter of if it hits; damn it, it will!

[kana]

Well gooch.. I would say maybe we'll see you around, but you might be dead before long. good luck with that....

what a fuckin shame.. i'm seriously sick to my stomach.. I thought he'd be the one to make it for sure...

Kana, you best keep a close eye on yourself. "I thought he'd be the one to make it for sure..." concerns me.

Let me correct your thinking.

If there's ONE who will make it, that would be YOU.

Don't worry about FuckGooch. He's a dime-a-dozen, just look around.

Hell, look in Sept '11, we had a caver today with well over 400 days. Why? Same old story. Lost the desire to stay vigilant and a short time later he lost his quit.

Shut the door, Kana, and don't let people like GooeyPussy open it.

Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom. Never forget it!

This is the first cave I've seen.. I guess you're right there will be many.. just hard to watch..

[Leahy16]

Well gooch.. I would say maybe we'll see you around, but you might be dead before long. good luck with that....

what a fuckin shame.. i'm seriously sick to my stomach.. I thought he'd be the one to make it for sure...

Kana, you best keep a close eye on yourself. "I thought he'd be the one to make it for sure..." concerns me.

Let me correct your thinking.

If there's ONE who will make it, that would be YOU.

Don't worry about FuckGooch. He's a dime-a-dozen, just look around.

Hell, look in Sept '11, we had a caver today with well over 400 days. Why? Same old story. Lost the desire to stay vigilant and a short time later he lost his quit.

Shut the door, Kana, and don't let people like GooeyPussy open it.

Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom. Never forget it!

[kana]

Well gooch.. I would say maybe we'll see you around, but you might be dead before long. good luck with that....

what a fuckin shame.. i'm seriously sick to my stomach.. I thought he'd be the one to make it for sure...

[kana]

Well gooch.. I would say maybe we'll see you around, but you might be dead before long. good luck with that....

[Ready]

Tell yourself whatever you wish. Voluntarily walking back into slavery when there are so many other choices is simply foolish.

You will never convince me you did the right thing.

[pavetheway]

I hope you enjoy your sixth gum graft. Fer fuck's sake........

[wastepanel]

OK fellas here goes.. I really appreciate all the texts  calls.. seriously I have been as far south KY as I can go without being in TN with little phone service.. the reason I did not post this morning was I intended to use Nic in some form today and I did.. I respect you all and the site too much so I will spare you the details.. but it started with nic gum and that only worked for a while today.. I will say this I have not gone full honey badger, but still I have truly caved today...I promise I do not have anything in my mouth as I write this, I do respect you guys more than that.   I lost the desire to quit days ago.. and struggled to post everyday for the past week... I knew once I posted I would not use..thats why i didnt post today.. I am sorry guys.. I don't and will not go into grave detail.. I have had a lot of addiction in my life.. Tobacco is the last one..  In the last few days I have honestly struggled with the thoughts of doing other things as well.. and I have posted several times.. if i thought really thought I was going to drink again I would use nic..I truthfully caved days ago in my mind, it just took until today to catch up.. I know the hell that is about to follow this when it hits the thread!  Go ahead guys let me have it.. no matter what some of you will think or say.. I am not a failure or a sack of shit or any of the other things that I know is about to follow..and no matter what you guys say I will not believe I am a failure.. I have accomplished much in my life and over came a hell of a lot of addiction!  Since quitting dip over 2 month ago.. I am pre-diabetic (all the sugar and candy I have eaten I guess?).  I'm 10lbs over weight, even while working out! I have dipped more coffee than I can even say.. my gall bladder is in knots.. I still can't sleep.. and still struggle to focus.. It's no excuse but I have so much work to do and a lot of people are depending on me to get things done.. I have to be me again?  I know I will want to quit again.. maybe 2 days.. maybe 2 weeks? maybe 2 months?  Will I come back here?  Don't know after the terrific beating you guys are about to give me.. In the recovery circles I come from we truly don't kick somebody when they are down..  And if I am truly honest I am not down, so kick away.  I actually feel normal again.. The one thing i will do and be is honest.. I respect you guys more than you know..  I really thought I was tough!  that's a joke!  you guys that keep doing this.. you are tough.. hats off to you all.. Diesel.. Tinman.. Wastepanel..Raider.. Pave.. swede..hell Gordy even wrote my PM today..  WT you are without a doubt one bag ass quitter... Thanks boys... sorry if you feel that I let you all down.. I really hope you all can do it better than me!  Signing Off - Gooch

I want to reply and am not sure what I feel! Mike has shared with me a lot of very personal shit, confided in me. Even though I do not agree with your decision that is for me. You are still honorable in my mind because I know you wanted to cave other days but didn't only because you had made a promise. As for today, he didn't cave right away. He texted me this morning and shared his troubles and intentions. I know you struggled hard in making this decision and didn't do it in the heat of the moment. When you get your shit together I know you'll be back, I'll be here if it's 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years. I will not judge you the same as I do some other caves it wasn't done in the dark hiding or on a whim without prior thought. I may take shit for saying that but I stick to it! All that being said: caving is a really stupid decision that gives temporary satisfaction (maybe) for circumstances that can be dealt with in much better ways. Everyone reading this learn a lesson. Prepare your selves in advance for all types of circumstances, know your plan well follow through on it and make sure there are no loop holes in it!!

WT

I can't imagine giving in like this. Short of some Big Tobacco CEO kidnapping my wife, I can't fathom any reason to go back. Announcing your intentions and then ignoring countless people during the day? You can come back any time but based on your actions today, I don't think you'll quit then either.

Number 1, very ingenious to post this on the intro thread. That way you can ninja read all These words we will throw at you without having to log in. Very ingenious. Very cowardly as well.

Secondly, you aren't sorry. Why are you apologizing for a decision you chose to make? Are you sorry you made the decision? Are you sorry you failed in your past decision? I'm really kind of confused where "sorry" comes into play here.

Finally, you've had 5 gum grafts. Welcome back to that normal. I'm glad that normal is what you crave. I like my gums. I like my life. I feel normal.

It's easy to quit when you want to quit. It's when times are tough and our adreneline is low that we struggle. It's these times we lean on what we've learned. Nicotine does not make you a better employer, worker, smarter, or a better dad, husband, or coach. It doesn't alleviate the stress in your life. It lets you escape in euphoria for a brief moment while it kills a small part inside you. It then plants itself firmly in your life, and its presence becomes "necessary".

I'm very disappointed. Very.

[Roamcountry]

OK fellas here goes.. I really appreciate all the texts  calls.. seriously I have been as far south KY as I can go without being in TN with little phone service.. the reason I did not post this morning was I intended to use Nic in some form today and I did.. I respect you all and the site too much so I will spare you the details.. but it started with nic gum and that only worked for a while today.. I will say this I have not gone full honey badger, but still I have truly caved today...I promise I do not have anything in my mouth as I write this, I do respect you guys more than that.   I lost the desire to quit days ago.. and struggled to post everyday for the past week... I knew once I posted I would not use..thats why i didnt post today.. I am sorry guys.. I don't and will not go into grave detail.. I have had a lot of addiction in my life.. Tobacco is the last one..  In the last few days I have honestly struggled with the thoughts of doing other things as well.. and I have posted several times.. if i thought really thought I was going to drink again I would use nic..I truthfully caved days ago in my mind, it just took until today to catch up.. I know the hell that is about to follow this when it hits the thread!  Go ahead guys let me have it.. no matter what some of you will think or say.. I am not a failure or a sack of shit or any of the other things that I know is about to follow..and no matter what you guys say I will not believe I am a failure.. I have accomplished much in my life and over came a hell of a lot of addiction!  Since quitting dip over 2 month ago.. I am pre-diabetic (all the sugar and candy I have eaten I guess?).  I'm 10lbs over weight, even while working out! I have dipped more coffee than I can even say.. my gall bladder is in knots.. I still can't sleep.. and still struggle to focus.. It's no excuse but I have so much work to do and a lot of people are depending on me to get things done.. I have to be me again?  I know I will want to quit again.. maybe 2 days.. maybe 2 weeks? maybe 2 months?  Will I come back here?  Don't know after the terrific beating you guys are about to give me.. In the recovery circles I come from we truly don't kick somebody when they are down..  And if I am truly honest I am not down, so kick away.  I actually feel normal again.. The one thing i will do and be is honest.. I respect you guys more than you know..  I really thought I was tough!  that's a joke!  you guys that keep doing this.. you are tough.. hats off to you all.. Diesel.. Tinman.. Wastepanel..Raider.. Pave.. swede..hell Gordy even wrote my PM today..  WT you are without a doubt one bag ass quitter... Thanks boys... sorry if you feel that I let you all down.. I really hope you all can do it better than me!  Signing Off - Gooch

I want to reply and am not sure what I feel! Mike has shared with me a lot of very personal shit, confided in me. Even though I do not agree with your decision that is for me. You are still honorable in my mind because I know you wanted to cave other days but didn't only because you had made a promise. As for today, he didn't cave right away. He texted me this morning and shared his troubles and intentions. I know you struggled hard in making this decision and didn't do it in the heat of the moment. When you get your shit together I know you'll be back, I'll be here if it's 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years. I will not judge you the same as I do some other caves it wasn't done in the dark hiding or on a whim without prior thought. I may take shit for saying that but I stick to it! All that being said: caving is a really stupid decision that gives temporary satisfaction (maybe) for circumstances that can be dealt with in much better ways. Everyone reading this learn a lesson. Prepare your selves in advance for all types of circumstances, know your plan well follow through on it and make sure there are no loop holes in it!!

WT

I can't imagine giving in like this. Short of some Big Tobacco CEO kidnapping my wife, I can't fathom any reason to go back. Announcing your intentions and then ignoring countless people during the day? You can come back any time but based on your actions today, I don't think you'll quit then either.

Wow, I guess I dont know what to say to this either.....very dissapointed man.

[shoogie]

I have so much work to do and a lot of people are depending on me to get things done..

And chewing again is going to help how exactly????? It's going to be real hard to get things done while doing your chemo treatments.

[Wedge]

OK fellas here goes.. I really appreciate all the texts  calls.. seriously I have been as far south KY as I can go without being in TN with little phone service.. the reason I did not post this morning was I intended to use Nic in some form today and I did.. I respect you all and the site too much so I will spare you the details.. but it started with nic gum and that only worked for a while today.. I will say this I have not gone full honey badger, but still I have truly caved today...I promise I do not have anything in my mouth as I write this, I do respect you guys more than that.   I lost the desire to quit days ago.. and struggled to post everyday for the past week... I knew once I posted I would not use..thats why i didnt post today.. I am sorry guys.. I don't and will not go into grave detail.. I have had a lot of addiction in my life.. Tobacco is the last one..  In the last few days I have honestly struggled with the thoughts of doing other things as well.. and I have posted several times.. if i thought really thought I was going to drink again I would use nic..I truthfully caved days ago in my mind, it just took until today to catch up.. I know the hell that is about to follow this when it hits the thread!  Go ahead guys let me have it.. no matter what some of you will think or say.. I am not a failure or a sack of shit or any of the other things that I know is about to follow..and no matter what you guys say I will not believe I am a failure.. I have accomplished much in my life and over came a hell of a lot of addiction!  Since quitting dip over 2 month ago.. I am pre-diabetic (all the sugar and candy I have eaten I guess?).  I'm 10lbs over weight, even while working out! I have dipped more coffee than I can even say.. my gall bladder is in knots.. I still can't sleep.. and still struggle to focus.. It's no excuse but I have so much work to do and a lot of people are depending on me to get things done.. I have to be me again?  I know I will want to quit again.. maybe 2 days.. maybe 2 weeks? maybe 2 months?  Will I come back here?  Don't know after the terrific beating you guys are about to give me.. In the recovery circles I come from we truly don't kick somebody when they are down..  And if I am truly honest I am not down, so kick away.  I actually feel normal again.. The one thing i will do and be is honest.. I respect you guys more than you know..  I really thought I was tough!  that's a joke!  you guys that keep doing this.. you are tough.. hats off to you all.. Diesel.. Tinman.. Wastepanel..Raider.. Pave.. swede..hell Gordy even wrote my PM today..  WT you are without a doubt one bag ass quitter... Thanks boys... sorry if you feel that I let you all down.. I really hope you all can do it better than me!  Signing Off - Gooch

I want to reply and am not sure what I feel! Mike has shared with me a lot of very personal shit, confided in me. Even though I do not agree with your decision that is for me. You are still honorable in my mind because I know you wanted to cave other days but didn't only because you had made a promise. As for today, he didn't cave right away. He texted me this morning and shared his troubles and intentions. I know you struggled hard in making this decision and didn't do it in the heat of the moment. When you get your shit together I know you'll be back, I'll be here if it's 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years. I will not judge you the same as I do some other caves it wasn't done in the dark hiding or on a whim without prior thought. I may take shit for saying that but I stick to it! All that being said: caving is a really stupid decision that gives temporary satisfaction (maybe) for circumstances that can be dealt with in much better ways. Everyone reading this learn a lesson. Prepare your selves in advance for all types of circumstances, know your plan well follow through on it and make sure there are no loop holes in it!!

WT

I can't imagine giving in like this. Short of some Big Tobacco CEO kidnapping my wife, I can't fathom any reason to go back. Announcing your intentions and then ignoring countless people during the day? You can come back any time but based on your actions today, I don't think you'll quit then either.