Gum Grafts - I've had 5!

[Greg5280]

I never had a gum graft but I can relate to the fucked up shit we all did. I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled. The upper holes are not stitched shut and are allowed to heal on their own. I woke up from the medication and the first thing I did was to pack one in, open holes in my mouth and all.

That one pales to the most vivid memory of my addiction. The one that still haunts me, and keeps me vigilant. My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. Had to go through some very intense chemo. I remember sitting there holding her hand on the cancer ward, watching them pump chemo into her body, all the while my nicotine addicted ass had a dip in. 'bang head'

Remember all of the shit you USED to do, use the memories as tools to help you with what you are doing TODAY. You are quit!

STAY QUIT
Greg

[Wt57]

Mike I can totally relate. My first gum graft was about 25 yrs. ago. That chunk they cut out of the roof of your mouth has got to be the most painful at least it always was for me. The other shit that is so discusting about this fucked up addiction for me was still using even after the grafts failed and I started losing teeth. I've lost 6 and had one implant, the empty holes in my mouth remind me daily of what a lame ass addict I am.

[Kubrick]

Damn. My gums were getting close to that point before I quit, but, I could have seen myself still dipping after surgery to get my fix in.

It's damn nice to not be a slave to that crap anymore isn't it?

[Smokeyg]

Thanks Mike. I'm going to use this idea when I teach descriptive writing to my 9th graders in the Fall - and hopefully stop at least one kid from taking that first dip. Powerful imagery.

[mikegooch]

I just posted this in Kjsylva82's "scared as hell" feed... I thought some of you other newbies would like to know what is waiting for you if you don't keep posting roll...

I've had 5 gum grafts (maybe more? I have honestly lost count).. they are painful as hell... they never put me to sleep when I get them.. they lay your ass back in a dentists chair under a bright ass light.. you have to keep your mouth wide open for an eternity.. after a while your jaws cramp so damn bad you have to take breaks.. they will give you a lot of numbing agent at first in the roof of your mouth and in your gums on both sides (inside  outside of your gums) because the stitches go all the way through your gums.. the first few shots are really the only ones that actually hurt, because after that it is numb.. There are several bad parts of this procedure.. my least favorite is when they cut the hunk of skin out of the roof of your mouth.. they pretty much have you blind folded and your numb as hell.. still you can tell because the dr says "open wide".. the scalpel goes into the roof of your mouth and you immediately taste blood.. because it runs into the back of your throat.. (this is one good thing about being a dipper.. we have an auto shut off back there and we can block from swallowing!) after the dr. makes the first few slices there.. eventually they have to saw the hunk of skin off  THIS IS THE PART I HATE.. your head moves with the sawing action! by this time they have already completely pulled  scraped what is left of your gums in the bottom away from your teeth as to put the newly cut piece from the roof of your mouth.. this next part irks the shit out of me.. my dr always lays the hunk of skin from the roof of my mouth on my shoulder until she is ready to put it into place.. then.. finally when she is ready.. the hunk of meat from the roof of my mouth.. it is tightly packed between my old gum (whats left of it)  my teeth.. then it is stitched into place.. with a rather large needle that goes all the way through your teeth and gums and back around to neatly sew the new hunk of gum into place.. the entire time this is happening the assistant is sucking blood from your mouth and throat with a large tube.. under the blindfold you can see massive amounts of blood going through the tube.. once were done.. a piece of plastic called a stint is placed in the roof of your mouth, to keep you from bleeding.. for the next week or so it is very soft food and eating on one side of your mouth.. very slowly and carefully not to rip anything away from the gum or hit the roof of your mouth.. you are incredibly swollen and sore for a few days..often during the 1st few nights you bleed from the roof of your mouth while sleeping and gag on bloodÂ… now just imagine being so addicted that within hours of leaving this surgeryÂ… you want to dip so badly that you put a dip into your top lip just to get your nic fix.. you have to do it just right.. any sucking action and you will unclot the roof of your mouth and bleed out like a stuck hog.. Never has a gum graft surgery ever stopped me from dipping.. only when I got tired of all the shit did I stop.. when I got tired of being a fucking slave and paying big money to be the slave. Today even though its only been 12 days.. I still want to dip a few times a day.. but you know what.. I donÂ’t have to! Gone are the days when I have a surgery and I cannot even make it through the rest of the day and I have to pack that shit into my top lip to get the fix.. tell me I am not an addict! I am totally an addict.. if you are here.. guess what?? You probably are too. Today I am so thankful.. I do not have to dip! The nic bitch has lost her fucking power today boys.. I respect the shit out of her because I know what she can do to me.. but today I say no thanks.. actually I say Fuck You and all the pain that comes with you.. I am free today! Thanks fellas! Gooch

[mikegooch]

Hello Ladies! Day 11 was remarkable.. please do not tell me it will soon end! I will ride this pink cloud as long as it runs! I only had i real crave tonight.. when i was eating with Olive Oil.. (we made up! - i took her to get botox then out to eat so i am back in good graces).. Didnt really bug me at all today! no dip - no problem? FREEDOM! for today anyway.. now lets see if i can get a little sleep! Gooch

[JohnK]

Hey brother I have found that just coming on KTC and reading shit or hitting up the chat room helps me. It only takes a few minutes for someone to say some crazy shit that makes me laugh. That and I spit seeds like a bird. The cravings are there and will be off and on, more at some times then others. Remember why you quit. The sleep situation is a bitch it takes a good bit of time to get back on track with that. Those three and four hour nights while waking up 50 times suck. But in the end when your sleep is back on track, the rage is in check, the shits return to normal, you look at the first month or so of your quit and youre still quit, its then brother you know you are a fucking machine and are capable of anything. Stay strong, stay quit.

[Mike B]

Gooch it does not matter how beautiful a woman is, they will always be a pain in someones ass. (Im still not given up titties)

Dip sucks ass water.

[Mike B]

Gooch it does not matter how beautiful a woman is, they will always be a pain in someones ass. (Im still not given up titties)

[mikegooch]

I think Olive Oil just split! (thats actually my GF Cheri).. I just call her Olive Oil... I dont really care.. She has been kinda a pain in my ass for the past several months.. I swear fellas this is what has happened here.. I have just been honest! Withdrawl made me honest  Honest pissed her off! I was honestly tired of listening to her shit! this was before I stopped dipping! can you imagine how I've felt for the past 9 days! HOLY HELL! torture! I am actually relieved now and not nearly as stressed and definitely not thinking of dipping! Gooch

[mikegooch]

You guys are awesome!!! I dont know how to hightlight the stuff you guys are saying.. put it in a box and respond! You are all my heros... to all get through this shit come out on the other side smiling and helping! Thanks a million! Gooch

[raiderx]

I have no idea what to say to you Gooch. No magic words. But I do have suggestions and do have my support. If any of us could take the pain away we most likely would. The unfortunate truth is that this is part of recovery. The depression/rage/ all of what you are going through is pretty much normal. I had the same questions, went through the same thing.

One question is do you have a real live person you can talk to. We are fine but I found that the face to face is important. If you do not I suggest you go find a therapist. I have in the past and it does help.

Are you able to take some time off. When I first quit I did so on vacation, away from work and stress and life. This gave me the time I needed to put some things in place to help me. 7 days of no stress may make a world of difference.

If you do not exercise I strongly suggest you start. The sweat helps with the detox and stress. Also try massage/sauna/whirlpool. I especially found that the massage helped immensely.

Do you laugh alot. I found early on that laughing and humor helped. Right now I am fighting some depression which I believe is part of the recovery process and I am at day 94. I have been in a funk for 2 weeks. I am trying to get to my therapist to have a chat because it is not fair to my wife to have to deal with a grumpy asshole of a husband.

Other than that - make sure you have fake stuff or seeds or something handy. Drink h2o or diet soda or something non alcholoic and keep going

Remember the raider x mottos
This shit is easy but will be the hardest thing you ever do in your life
Life is hard, wear a helmut
And my own personnel meditation mantra

Post Roll
Quit today
Repeat tomorrow

peace out goocher

[Mike B]

Gooch remember the misery you put yourself though when you started dipping and drinking. The dizziness, the throwing up. It seems to me quitting is not as bad as starting. I am at day 11, every time I have a crave (every 5 minutes) I remind myself how much effort I put in to starting this shit, and think if I only put half as much effort into quitting I will be successful. Lord I hope I am right. I don't want this shit anymore.

Mike B.

[tinman]

Hey Gooch - Right there with u on Day 11 of no Dip  5 years not drinking....Misery loves company my man!! No dipping, no drinking...that's why my avatar says 'bitches' plural......Hang in there buddy, Day 11 sucks too!

[pavetheway]

Gooch, take it out on your dummy if you can't bitch at us. I'd bet he will understand.