Day 12. I don't use patches, I don't use gum. I don't use fake stuff. I use mints currently and had to quit Jerky because it was getting stuck in my fucked up gums.
I quit cold turkey. This is my 1st and only attempt at quitting.
I post roll, every day. It's getting better, but is it ok? fuck no.
I'm pissed the fuck off, but what you need to realize is that I've spent my whole life pissed off, so I know how to direct it. Focus it. I'm pissed that something exists like nicotine. I'm pissed at nicotine. I'm pissed that I can't think of being on my boat without thinking about dip or cigarettes, or a cigar, or whatever for the rest of my gd life because I'm an addict. I'm pissed that it even enters my fucking head when I have thoughts of fishing, hunting, recording, going to the beach, partying, walking the dog, what the fuck ever.
I swear to God, if someone says "focus on today, because tomorrow never comes" I'm going to puke. If tomorrow never comes, and every day is like today, then fuck today and tomorrow for that matter, whether she comes or not.
I can't even think right now so I'm cutting this off. Fuck nicotine. This is awful.