Hello everyone. My name is Kirk I am 43 and have been chewing kodiak or grizzly for 30 years. I Quit December 20th 2015.
On Dec 8th 2015 as I was reading about the Seahawks online and enjoying relaxing with a dip of grizzly at 10:30pm my life suddenly changed. All of a sudden my heart, for no apparent reason started racing out of control. I became dizzy and hot and started to vomit. I quickly drank a few 20oz Dasani waters and laid in bed next to my wife. My heart had slowed down for a few minutes, but then ramped back up. I ended up throwing up all the water I just drank. I thought I was having a heart attack and told my wife to take me to the ER.
I was scared out of my mind and had no idea what was happening. After spending 5 hours in the ER they found nothing physically wrong with me. I went the next day to see my doctor and was placed on high blood pressure medication and had further blood tests done. Again, nothing came back from any of the tests other than slight high blood pressure.
I am in management with a large company and have been in management all my life. I lead a very stressful life with what I do and I never realized that chewing was covering up my real ability to handle life and all the stresses that came with it.
After that night and few weeks that followed I searched for answers I decided I was going to change everything in my life and be more healthy with what I eat and get more exercise. AND ABOVE ALL QUIT CHEWING TOBACCO.
I QUIT DECEMBER 20TH
The first week was fine and was just a little more touchy with everything. I told my wife that I apologize for any
way I act as I go through with quitting. She had my back. The second week was a bit tougher as I was feeling I was missing something. I started exercising and eating healthy and was feeling great on day 15.
On day 16 (1/5/16) at work I suddenly felt really tired, then a bit of panic started. I drove home doing my best to take my mind off of the anxiety I was feeling that there's something very wrong. I felt the same as that night when I went to the ER except I had no racing heart. I felt a pressure on my chest, severe stomach pains, burping, severe anxiety, and some depression. I almost wanted to go back to the hospital. The next day I called into work and did not go in. Keep in mind I knew nothing about nicotine withdrawal until today or of this web site, i was alone. I was up all night filled with stomach cramps, anxiety, depression, constant sweating then being cold, and constant burping. I lost my appetite and any smell made me want to vomit.
I went to see my doctor that morning and he had no idea what was causing this. He ended up putting me on zoloft, the smallest dose. That was a huge mistake as it made me feel 100 times worse with my symptoms and i quickly got off that after 2 days (1/7/16). The doctor gave me a small dose of xanax next, which I did not take.This past Thursday I started feeling there was nothing to live for and everything that made me happy no longer could make me happy. My mind raced that I was going crazy and panicking trying to find an answer for the way I was feeling. I felt helpless, lost, scared, thinking about my life and having it feel like it was going to end like this. It was a constant feeling that overtook me that I couldn't shake off. The heavy chest, stomach issues, loss of appetite and my mind going insane was unbearable. I made an appointment with a psychologist to help with my new anxiety and depression and did everything to learn about relaxation techniques. They helped some but I still had that feeling.
I caved in and took 1/2 the pill of xanax this past Saturday and suddenly I was calm and relaxed and my symptoms went away for about 6 hours. I ended up taking the other half that night to get some sleep. Sunday morning my appetite was somewhat back and the stomach issues subsided. I actually ate! As of the past week I had lost 15lbs. I went through my day watching my seahawks get a miracle win and I felt a bit of emotion that I had lost several days earlier when I cared of nothing in life. I still had that feeling in the pit of my stomach and chest, yet all the other symptoms were disappearing, especially the fog. I took another half of xanax and went to bed.
I woke up this morning feeling a bit medicine headed and I was determined to seek answers as to what the hell was going on with me. I asked myself what had changed over the past few weeks and since I don't do any other drugs or drink I could only determine it to be nicotine. As I searched and read of nicotine withdrawal I started to cry, which I haven't done in years. All these years I was destroying myself, de-sensitizing my brain and for what? For a little piece of what my mind thought was heaven.
I found that after I Quit and was back at work my mind couldn't handle the stress of work or daily life like I was able to. I had a crutch called nicotine that handled it for me. The more stressed out I was the more nicotine I needed. I then found this site and read for hours today, signed up, and here I am. I am truly blessed that I didn't have the headaches some of you had and I truly feel for all of you. Nor do I have any cravings of ever wanting to dip again, especially with the withdrawals I'm going through.
Guys I Quit and need help today, tomorrow, forever. I am addicted to nicotine, but I quit and will vow to never use nicotine in any format ever again. I wholeheartedly look forward to any support you can give me as live through this while taking on a positive attitude that I have quit and that I will remain quit.
Thank you,
Kirk
