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Offline Aumegrad

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Re: Aumegrad Intro
« Reply #36 on: July 28, 2019, 07:12:12 PM »
As I begin my second trip around the sun as a free man, I feel compelled to document a few things.  Mainly the fact that the past year was filled with new experiences and events, alongside all the typical and routine ho-hum events.  I was able to get through all these nicotine free.  Think of that, barring anything uniquely atypical, I have already sailed thru any event that comes my way as a free man.  That’s exciting to ponder.

Also of interest to me is the following ... I grew up camping and enjoyed it as a kid.  My wife mentioned many times over the past decade how nice it would be to get a travel trailer, or aka a ninja dippers nightmare!  I always gave a ridiculous reason why we couldn’t because I could never think of a creative way to dip without my wife and 3 kids finding out.  All the while thinking how great it would be for my family to travel and camp together.  Well, over the past year being nic free, I purchased a capable tow vehicle and the 30’ travel trailer.  We set out on our first trip a couple weekends ago and as if I couldn’t already write an essay on the pro’s of quitting, that trip solidified it.  We had a blast, kids had a blast, and I can’t describe the unity my family had for those 3 days.  No fighting kids and just pure happiness, the way life should be.  And to think, had I never quit nicotine, I would have never experienced this.  I look forward to the next several trips we already have planned.

If you’ve made it this far down this post and still contemplating quitting, all I can say is simply “DO IT”!  Bone up and do it.  That’s it.  Follow the protocol on this website and just quit.  It has revealed a new life for me that simply didn’t exist before.  I feel healthier and am happier.  Granted, even 371 days into my quit, I still crave.  But at this point, it is what it is.  I am quit and that is that.  The craves go as quickly as they come, but they do come.  And utilizing the tools I have picked up from this board, I combat them.

Anyhow, I am excited to see what this next trip around the sun has in store for me.  About the only thing I am confident of is that nicotine won’t be in ANY of the cards.  Eat a fat one, skoal!

Let’s quit guys, it’s kind of awesome!

Aumegrad 371 and smelling the roses
Who is Aumegrad 🤔 ... INTRO

What were his thoughts at 100 days 🤔 ... HoF

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. (1 Corinthians 9:24)

Offline Athan

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Re: Aumegrad Intro
« Reply #35 on: June 05, 2019, 04:57:56 PM »
Goodness, I stand here at 317 days of outright freedom.  My, how time has flown.  It has been a while since I have documented my progress and figure now is as good a time as any. 

Much has changed since my last update at 150.  I’ve made it thru a Christmas, a couple trips to Vegas, a lot of golf, a few funerals, beach vacation, my own Sunday School class (studying used to be a major trigger), general highs and lows.  Out of all this, dip was never a variable in my equation of life.  Don’t get me wrong, there were many times of crave, but none were ever legitimate enough to cause me to even consider falling back on my word to my brothers.  WUPP has simply become my new way of life.  Texting brothers every morning is as common to me as that first sip of coffee.  It has all become a part of the new me.  So even as I continue going through these mental withdrawal symptoms, I know I will persevere.  I have spoken before about seeing a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel, but that light has become much brighter.  Not sure how long it take to get thru the tunnel, or if I ever will, but I can attest that each day has been better than the previous.  For instance on our recent beach trip, the additional time I had to catch crabs with the kids, drink coffee and chat with my wife, simply focus on happiness as opposed to my next hit, this is the way life should be ... the way God intended. 

Interestingly enough, I was texting with a quit brother today about the trails and tests Christians will endure.  And as James 1:2-4 and 1 Peter 1:3-9 states, these trials are necessary to perfect our faith leading to an imperishable and undefiled inheritance which is maintained by God.  On a much less ‘eternal’ scale, I view my quit much in this manner.  These craves and this battle’s refining me, improving and perfecting me for the reward of a more fruitful life of being a better husband, father, friend, ... etc.  So as you encounter these craves or mental fogs, don’t let them distress you.  As James would say “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, ...”(1:2).

Aumegrad 317 and its good to be quit!
Proud to be in the fight with you Johnathon!  Your guidance, support, and fighting attitude always strengthens my quit.  So glad that you are enjoying your family and life is treating you well!
My sentiments exactly.  God loves you so much that He uses you to bless others including myself.  Continually edified by your daily texts! 
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Offline oldschool

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Re: Aumegrad Intro
« Reply #34 on: June 05, 2019, 10:27:10 AM »
Goodness, I stand here at 317 days of outright freedom.  My, how time has flown.  It has been a while since I have documented my progress and figure now is as good a time as any. 

Much has changed since my last update at 150.  I’ve made it thru a Christmas, a couple trips to Vegas, a lot of golf, a few funerals, beach vacation, my own Sunday School class (studying used to be a major trigger), general highs and lows.  Out of all this, dip was never a variable in my equation of life.  Don’t get me wrong, there were many times of crave, but none were ever legitimate enough to cause me to even consider falling back on my word to my brothers.  WUPP has simply become my new way of life.  Texting brothers every morning is as common to me as that first sip of coffee.  It has all become a part of the new me.  So even as I continue going through these mental withdrawal symptoms, I know I will persevere.  I have spoken before about seeing a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel, but that light has become much brighter.  Not sure how long it take to get thru the tunnel, or if I ever will, but I can attest that each day has been better than the previous.  For instance on our recent beach trip, the additional time I had to catch crabs with the kids, drink coffee and chat with my wife, simply focus on happiness as opposed to my next hit, this is the way life should be ... the way God intended. 

Interestingly enough, I was texting with a quit brother today about the trails and tests Christians will endure.  And as James 1:2-4 and 1 Peter 1:3-9 states, these trials are necessary to perfect our faith leading to an imperishable and undefiled inheritance which is maintained by God.  On a much less ‘eternal’ scale, I view my quit much in this manner.  These craves and this battle’s refining me, improving and perfecting me for the reward of a more fruitful life of being a better husband, father, friend, ... etc.  So as you encounter these craves or mental fogs, don’t let them distress you.  As James would say “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, ...”(1:2).

Aumegrad 317 and its good to be quit!
Proud to be in the fight with you Johnathon!  Your guidance, support, and fighting attitude always strengthens my quit.  So glad that you are enjoying your family and life is treating you well!
The only time you fail, is if you don't try

Offline Aumegrad

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Re: Aumegrad Intro
« Reply #33 on: June 05, 2019, 09:26:25 AM »
Goodness, I stand here at 317 days of outright freedom.  My, how time has flown.  It has been a while since I have documented my progress and figure now is as good a time as any. 

Much has changed since my last update at 150.  I’ve made it thru a Christmas, a couple trips to Vegas, a lot of golf, a few funerals, beach vacation, my own Sunday School class (studying used to be a major trigger), general highs and lows.  Out of all this, dip was never a variable in my equation of life.  Don’t get me wrong, there were many times of crave, but none were ever legitimate enough to cause me to even consider falling back on my word to my brothers.  WUPP has simply become my new way of life.  Texting brothers every morning is as common to me as that first sip of coffee.  It has all become a part of the new me.  So even as I continue going through these mental withdrawal symptoms, I know I will persevere.  I have spoken before about seeing a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel, but that light has become much brighter.  Not sure how long it take to get thru the tunnel, or if I ever will, but I can attest that each day has been better than the previous.  For instance on our recent beach trip, the additional time I had to catch crabs with the kids, drink coffee and chat with my wife, simply focus on happiness as opposed to my next hit, this is the way life should be ... the way God intended. 

Interestingly enough, I was texting with a quit brother today about the trails and tests Christians will endure.  And as James 1:2-4 and 1 Peter 1:3-9 states, these trials are necessary to perfect our faith leading to an imperishable and undefiled inheritance which is maintained by God.  On a much less ‘eternal’ scale, I view my quit much in this manner.  These craves and this battle’s refining me, improving and perfecting me for the reward of a more fruitful life of being a better husband, father, friend, ... etc.  So as you encounter these craves or mental fogs, don’t let them distress you.  As James would say “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, ...”(1:2).

Aumegrad 317 and its good to be quit!
Who is Aumegrad 🤔 ... INTRO

What were his thoughts at 100 days 🤔 ... HoF

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. (1 Corinthians 9:24)

Offline Kickin-wing

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Re: Aumegrad Intro ... Long Overdue
« Reply #32 on: September 13, 2018, 05:22:00 PM »
Rereading your intro today was laughing at this:
Quote
I would hide it from my wife by frequent bathroom breaks, quick runs to the store for random crap no one needed, Â… etc.
Not only is your nic vector of choice expensive but how much money have we all wasted on these "store runs!" Glad to be quit today.
You need anything, ask.  You feel strong, help.  This quit is for you but we got your back.  -wastepanel

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Offline AppleJack

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Re: Aumegrad Intro ... Long Overdue
« Reply #31 on: September 12, 2018, 12:38:00 PM »
Quote from: Aumegrad
...it a pleasure and an honor to endure this pain just for the satisfaction of knowing that I can look into your eyes and with great gladness and a smile exclaim “you have NO control over me and are as effective in my life as a rose pedal on a turd … BRING IT”.
Oh. Hell. Yes. This ^^^... THIS^^^!!

... Is one of THE most important attitude components to ANY success here!

No whining.
No looking back.
No romanticized “love lost” bullshit.

Owning ALL of the good and bad and using every damn bit of it as momentum.

Well said, sir!

Bro, there WILL come a time when your attitude will show you a freedom you didnÂ’t know was possible. Trust me. I say it allÂ’a time because the truth of it is profound: Get involved... Stay involved. It works. Ask me how I know...

AJ... Day 1,975
Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not ten.

Offline Aumegrad

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Re: Aumegrad Intro ... Long Overdue
« Reply #30 on: September 12, 2018, 10:45:00 AM »
Some general quit observations and thoughts from my quit on day 52:

-The first 3 days, a couple days during week 3, and days 49-51 I experienced the following:
oExtremely tired Â… i.e. I am in bed and sound asleep by 8:30pm
9:30-10pm typical bedtime
oReal twitchy when sleeping and occasionally wakes me
Wife notices them too when I’m sleeping and claims they are like an electrical jolt that starts at my head and works its way down my body
oWake up multiple times during these nights and sometimes hard to get back to sleep
oWake up groggy, zero desire to work out
Just force myself to do some jumping jacks, sit ups, and pushups to get blood flowing
oFeeling of “I’ll just get to work when I can today” … very much like Eeyore
oCravings and constantly convincing myself that nicotine wonÂ’t help anything
I love a good challenge and I am down for the quit, I have simply come too far, I am mentally tough and powered my way through a lot and this is nothing!
oI am very short tempered and would appreciate if the movie “Purge” was real life … just for a few minutes at a time
Snap at wife, snap at kids … gotta be very cognizant here. Acknowledge your actions and correct them quickly! We can't take our aggression out on the ones we love.

-Then all the sudden, it goes as fast as it came. Today on 52, felt like:
oWoke up rejuvenated, got a good workout in (chest and triÂ’s today)
oGot to work on time (only road raging once Â… seriously, just get the f outta the fast lane ahole)
oReady to take on the world
oThe Hulk has converted back to Bruce Banner and he is glad the movie “Purge” is not real life

It’s just interesting how all this plays out. I told my wife last night how bad the past couple days have been. Her response was “oh I can tell” and “I can’t believe it is affecting you this far along”. But it got me thinking, nicotine was more than crutch when everything hit the fan. It was always my “light at the end of the tunnel”. Not only when the day sucked but even on the good days too. No matter what I looked forward to, I always added to it “and then after that, I can get a dip”. So hypothetically, even if I had won the lottery, I would have been elated and then my immediate thought would be “oh can’t wait to get a dip now”. Nicotine was so pervasive in my life, it attached itself onto every thought I had. For emphasis, that is EVERY thought between 12 and 38 years old. I say all of this only to say, it is immeasurably foolish to assume that this could quickly and easily be corrected. It has only been 52 days of correction for a drug that controlled my brain for 26 years.

So, nicotine, I get that. I get that I will have great highs and I will have lows. I get that it will just take time to slowly erase you from my life. I get that during this time, you will taunt me, and you will try to convince me that the easy way out is just to cave. That one little dip won’t hurt anything or that one cigar to chew on while playing golf will be harmless. But please know this, my resolve is much stronger than any hold you ever had on me. Sure this will continue to suck, but I consider it a pleasure and an honor to endure this pain just for the satisfaction of knowing that I can look into your eyes and with great gladness and a smile exclaim “you have NO control over me and are as effective in my life as a rose pedal on a turd … BRING IT”.
Who is Aumegrad 🤔 ... INTRO

What were his thoughts at 100 days 🤔 ... HoF

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. (1 Corinthians 9:24)

Offline Aumegrad

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Re: Aumegrad Intro ... Long Overdue
« Reply #29 on: September 11, 2018, 08:22:00 PM »
Sorry Doofus, I am certain you typed words of encouragement, however I simply canÂ’t get past the avatar ?

I appreciate your words of wisdom and will definitely heed them. I am in this for the long haul and will take any help offered. I am proud to quit with you as well.
Who is Aumegrad 🤔 ... INTRO

What were his thoughts at 100 days 🤔 ... HoF

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. (1 Corinthians 9:24)

Online Doofus

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Re: Aumegrad Intro ... Long Overdue
« Reply #28 on: September 11, 2018, 05:41:00 PM »
Lol, I'm not one to judge or deny anyone a desired pleasure....but now you can study my avatar up close.

As far as your intro, you are ahead of me, I waited until 66ish to write an intro, everything changed at that moment because it was then that I knew I was not alone, the similar stories, the dudes saying, "I did that shit too!", all the same addict behavior, repeated over and over and over. All because of a dead flavored weed. 3 tins a day of Skoal LC mint was the suicide poison that I was addicted to for 30 years but the form didnt matter honestly....a drug is a drug.

I dont post a daily journal always, life gets in the way sometimes...... but writing and communicating is part of the treatment. It helps to know that you aren't alone and life is truly ok without the dead weed. Do not be afraid to over communicate here on KTC.

If you browse my intro, you'll see a post from a vet (Dundippin) which said,

"It sounds like you have your mind made up on this quit and that is the entire battle. Once you stop the conversation in your head about whether to do one more or not, then the rest is easy."

I'll pass that wisdom along to you courtesy of Dundippin, a total stranger who lent a hand in saving my life.

.....and give you some words of my own.

Learn from others, this site is exactly what you just shared above. You will make mistakes, there will be fights and arguments, people here you dont like or agree with but the one constant is that we are all addicts. Once you strip addiction of its secrets, its lies, bring it out into the open, shine a light, study it....it withers and dies. WE may never be "cured" but WE get control back, WE take back our freedom.....post, share, give back and always learn. As complete strangers here, we can do each other an ETERNAL favor ( A KINDNESS) of providing accountability and support to be quit and save lives. I know you will be happy with the result. And be happy with this Avatar, she is here to support you:)

As always, PM me if you want to be added to my daily text roll, I post support in Rawktober with a few of your bros. Pleasure to meet you, ODAAT!

Offline Aumegrad

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Re: Aumegrad Intro ... Long Overdue
« Reply #27 on: September 11, 2018, 03:47:00 PM »
I thank you all for your comments. While I would love to say writing this was completely selfless, it was quite therapeutic for me to air it all out. It's really not till one starts to pen his actions, that he can truly see how foolish he is. Seriously, how foolish were we all?!?! This has been an experience like no other and I'll be damned if I freely let others go down the same path.

Also meant to add ... I am awaiting a response from Doofus. His avatar has NOTHING to do with it 'Popcorn'
Who is Aumegrad 🤔 ... INTRO

What were his thoughts at 100 days 🤔 ... HoF

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. (1 Corinthians 9:24)

Offline gottadoit

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Re: Aumegrad Intro ... Long Overdue
« Reply #26 on: September 11, 2018, 03:38:00 PM »
I agree with all of the other comments. Spelled out most of my ninja habits to a "T". Thanks for the reminder of how I used to be so stupid, that I couldn't see how it was harming my family so much.

Proud to be quit with you today!!
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Offline Skolvikings

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Re: Aumegrad Intro ... Long Overdue
« Reply #25 on: September 11, 2018, 03:17:00 PM »
Well..... that was freaking awesome.

I hope you keep writing, these words will definitely help a new quitter, it strengthened my quit.

Great job paying it forward :)
Be humble... grow everyday.

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Online copequits

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Re: Aumegrad Intro ... Long Overdue
« Reply #24 on: September 11, 2018, 02:16:00 PM »
Thanks for that! It was just the right time I needed to read something of that nature. Those are some great references to what so many of us have been through. Proud to have you as an October brother.

Offline CLEalt

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Re: Aumegrad Intro ... Long Overdue
« Reply #23 on: September 11, 2018, 02:10:00 PM »
Great intro. I too was a ninja dipper. Until I saw the end I was thinking to myself, "no way he never got caught." Lol. Congrats on quitting. You'll never regret it.

Offline BBQchips

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Re: Aumegrad Intro ... Long Overdue
« Reply #22 on: September 11, 2018, 02:01:00 PM »
Just read thru and wanted to say “thank you” for sharing all of that. Feel very similar to you in the “what ifs” and doubts I constantly have. That and the ninja life. Proud to QWYT.
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