Note to self....not sleeping through the night SUCKS....having a low grade headache all day every day SUCKS....getting dizzy when you move your head too fast or stand up too quick SUCKS....being nauseated SUCKS....not being able to concentrate on metrics you are accountable for at work SUCKS....knowing that you've wasted God only knows how much $$ on a product you didn't need and didn't do a damn thing for you SUCKS...not knowing what it feels like to be normal without all those little demonic nicotine receptors in your brain jumping up and down on your last frayed nerve SUCKS....wondering when this will all change gives me STRENGTH.
I've had a cheap-ass Walmart Poster hanging in my office for nearly two decades, no matter where my office has been. Shows a guy climbing El Capitan in Yosemite. The caption underneath says "Perseverance: You can't let go and still win." Before this quit, I looked at that as a way of dealing with my work duties and pushing through the stupidity that is so often prevalent in the workplace. Now, as I sit here pondering what it's like to be truly recovered and normal, I realize that the same thought process applies to a quit....Perseverance, every day, one day at a time.
The past week has been NOT fun...guess that's why they call it SUCK. But every morning I wake up (after yet another night of not sleeping through the night) I know I'm one morning closer to that day when it doesn't SUCK. Right now, those are the steps I have decided to take.
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BTW, the way KTC counts the days is a little different than I would count them, but I'm not quibbling over methodology. If they want to "give" me an extra day, hell I'll take it. I spit my last dip of Cope out on 10 June at 8pm. The way I look at it, I didn't hit day 1 until the 11th at 8pm. The way they look at it, by the 11th, I was on day 2. That's about the only "freebie" I've had on this quit, but again, I'll take it.
