Went to the Doc the other day. Ran blood panels. Cholesterol is a bit high. Diet and exercise is the plan. I consider myself a slob at 6'3" 230 lbs (not 230 of muscle). Just painting a lovely picture here.
Anyway, most importantly, I finally told him after 8 years of going to him that I was a dipper. This doc is a great guy of Iraqi/Columbian heritage(odd heritage in rural Georgia). Being in GA he didn't actually seemed surprised. In fact he said he tried it once(at UGA) and it put him on his back. Regardless, I was embarrassed after all these years, to tell another man, an adult and a doctor none-the-less that I was poisoning myself intentionally. I was embarrassed that I knew all of the potential health risks and chose to continue. I was embarrassed that I was literally telling my family, " Eff You...Cope is more important!!!".
I figured the time is right to spill the beans. I told him that I had been quit for 4 weeks and he was amazed. He concurred with what we all know that the nicotine addiction makes it hell to quit whatever form one chooses to kill oneself with. He went through his exam and the last thing was the mouth exam. Never had that before because I never told him. Evidently, a few weeks is all it takes. The mouth heals fast and there were zero signs of what he called sub-mucous fibrosis or pre-cancerous tissue. In fact other than the seriously degraded gum lines (he pointed out my favorite dip spot) he said there are no obvious signs that I was ever a dipper.
Fucking Phew!!!!!! Fucking Phew!!!!!! Fucking Phew!!!!!!
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I'm looking forward to seeing my kids graduate, get married start a family and bring those little offspring home to Papa (me).
I can't say I was feeling very confident about that happening 31 days ago.
Thank you guys for helping me. Our sometimes dysfunctional family still has everyone's best intentions at its core. Saving a life everyday is what its all about.
Thanks again, brothers.
Peace
Joe (C)