Day One Intro

[Surgio65]

So I've now passed the 1-week mark of being quit. So glad to finally be out of the withdraw period. I did my best to look in the mirror and laugh and poke fun at my pathetic self in order to get through that hell, but it was still pretty rough, and something I dont ever want to ever do again. Thankfully, I managed to not drag any one down with me (or kill anyone, blow anything up, or cause any other haze-inducted destruction.)

Passed a couple of trials since then:
- sat outside for over an hour the other day and played guitar (usually a dip went in right before I grabbed the pick and started playing)
- drove 2-hours today to visit with some clients (this was usually a 2-3 dip drive, both ways, but today it was passed with a few mouth-fulls of sunflower seeds and one dip of Smokey Mountain herbal chew)
- played back-to-back-to-back games of MLB The Show last night and was so tuned into the games I didn't even realize that I was chewing gum and not craving dip (in the past that would have been at least two dips, maybe three if the games were tight or went into extra innings)

Now off to enjoy the rest of my dip-free evening!

[Jpfabel1073]

After an absolute shit-hell of a Day 3 I called it quits early last night (to end the shit misery) and when I woke up today I immediately noticed that my first thought was not to grab a can of gasoline and burn down the neighborhood! I absolutely feel much, much less-inclined to act out in real-life all of my favorite scenes of carnage from Grand Theft Auto - yesterday I was ready to go on a 5-star rocket launcher rampage! I got a long, long way to go but I can finally see some light! I don't even feel like rambling incoherently!

Every day gets a little better, I'm at 360 today and can tell you that the battle is not over for you but you can do this. Proud to have you in May 16! Quit on Surgio! Keep posting updates here in your intro, as you keep piling on +1's to your quit it will help you when shit gets deep, and it will believe me, to come here and see how far you have come and the suck that you had to endure those first 4 days. The nic is out of your system now the mental battle begins!

[Surgio65]

After an absolute shit-hell of a Day 3 I called it quits early last night (to end the shit misery) and when I woke up today I immediately noticed that my first thought was not to grab a can of gasoline and burn down the neighborhood! I absolutely feel much, much less-inclined to act out in real-life all of my favorite scenes of carnage from Grand Theft Auto - yesterday I was ready to go on a 5-star rocket launcher rampage! I got a long, long way to go but I can finally see some light! I don't even feel like rambling incoherently!

[Surgio65]

Yeah... so today (full Day 3) was really bad. I really cruised through the first couple of days without the nic; feeling the haze, but mostly laughing it off and poking fun. Today the bitch reared her ugly head. I woke up feeling okay, so I thought maybe I was out of the woods, but within a couple of hours I had descended into a shitstorm. I think I now understand what bad PMS must feel like. I'd feel like shit for 45-minutes, then suddenly a positive thought would bring me back to happiness and clarity, only to be suddenly dashed back down into despair and uncertaintly. I'd stare at the wall for 15-minutes, smile out the window at the sunshine for 2-minutes, then sit and close my eyes forcing happy thoughts into my brain for five or ten minutes. One moment I was motived enough to do my part to promote world peace, the next minute I was scheming up ways to build a catapult power enough to fling shit-filled porta-shitters at my neighbors. Half the time my thoughts were english; the other half my internal voice was a growly-gibberish usually reserved for possessed gargoyles and other demonic beings.

Looking forward to bed time here in a few, hoping for tomorrow (day 4) to be better. Committed to beating this shit though - and definitely determined to not put myself through this fucking roller coaster ever again.

[JB65]

Thanks Rawls and Pfabel - appreciate it! This was one of those days at work which usually would have prompted a 1-can day (sucking down an entire can,) but ended up being a ZERO-can day! I'm two complete days in now and it fees like the world is in slow motion. A stop at the store which lasted not more than 15-minutes seemed like it lasted two hours. My head is in such a fog right now. Not angry, or moody, sad, depressed, etc... I'm just in my own bubble right now. Ugh.

Got two beers fermenting right now (brew my own, might have mentioned that before.) Not drinking beer right now due to the quit and these wont be ready for at least another month anyway. Anyhow, I came up with a good name for one of them - Quitter's Honey Lager.

Normally I'm not this chatty (er... type-y.) Must be the fogginess of the quit. It will be funny to look back on these posts in a few weeks and think WTF was going on here?! Haha

This sucks. I need a hooker. Lasagna.

ODAAT..... Days will start flying by.
What guitar do you play.
And are you a golfer¿
I Quit with you today.

Ay Caramba! Muy bueno del Torino dos equis! !Mi amigos salsa del moreno Senoras and Senoritas in cartel nunachos!

The morning of Day 3 has arrived and, to say the least, I had some pretty bizarre dreams last night. Basically I was the subject of a Tv documentary which was exploring a group of Mexican wrestlers led by wild-haired leader (who looked like Bernie Sanders) who filmed porno movies in their hide-out which had a wrestling arena upstairs an a porno studio in the basement. The entire documentary was in Spanish, which is odd because I dont speak it. I have no idea how it ended because at some point it switched to a dream about some giant squirrel who kept knocking down the trees in our yard (and kind of looked like a T-Rex, but was deftinitely a squirrel) and then I an oh-shit dream about work in which I was sitting at a bar and realized I had a project due the next morning, that kind of thing. Man.... the withdraws really suck but the wierd dreams are more than making up for it!

Rawls - dont play golf, but I do play an '85 Fender Strat and a brand new Fender acoustic. Just had brought back to life an old Crate tube amp so I'll be waking up the neighbors this weekend with a 200-Watt call-to-prayer.

Love it , more guitar players at KTC! Welcome Surg, stay close to KTC, get to know your quit group members and post back here often to let us know how you are.

I'm a Strat guy myself. Although I love the sound and sustain,the thicker Gibson necks never bode well with my small boney girly fingers and hands.

They wrap nicely around a strat neck. Rock on. Stay quit, stay active. Proud of you. Get through the first few weeks and it will get better leaps and bounds. Best part: NO MORE LYING TO THE FAMILY.

I did the same thing. It feels great now

[Surgio65]

Thanks Rawls and Pfabel - appreciate it! This was one of those days at work which usually would have prompted a 1-can day (sucking down an entire can,) but ended up being a ZERO-can day! I'm two complete days in now and it fees like the world is in slow motion. A stop at the store which lasted not more than 15-minutes seemed like it lasted two hours. My head is in such a fog right now. Not angry, or moody, sad, depressed, etc... I'm just in my own bubble right now. Ugh.

Got two beers fermenting right now (brew my own, might have mentioned that before.) Not drinking beer right now due to the quit and these wont be ready for at least another month anyway. Anyhow, I came up with a good name for one of them - Quitter's Honey Lager.

Normally I'm not this chatty (er... type-y.) Must be the fogginess of the quit. It will be funny to look back on these posts in a few weeks and think WTF was going on here?! Haha

This sucks. I need a hooker. Lasagna.

ODAAT..... Days will start flying by.
What guitar do you play.
And are you a golfer¿
I Quit with you today.

Ay Caramba! Muy bueno del Torino dos equis! !Mi amigos salsa del moreno Senoras and Senoritas in cartel nunachos!

The morning of Day 3 has arrived and, to say the least, I had some pretty bizarre dreams last night. Basically I was the subject of a Tv documentary which was exploring a group of Mexican wrestlers led by wild-haired leader (who looked like Bernie Sanders) who filmed porno movies in their hide-out which had a wrestling arena upstairs an a porno studio in the basement. The entire documentary was in Spanish, which is odd because I dont speak it. I have no idea how it ended because at some point it switched to a dream about some giant squirrel who kept knocking down the trees in our yard (and kind of looked like a T-Rex, but was deftinitely a squirrel) and then I an oh-shit dream about work in which I was sitting at a bar and realized I had a project due the next morning, that kind of thing. Man.... the withdraws really suck but the wierd dreams are more than making up for it!

Rawls - dont play golf, but I do play an '85 Fender Strat and a brand new Fender acoustic. Just had brought back to life an old Crate tube amp so I'll be waking up the neighbors this weekend with a 200-Watt call-to-prayer.

[Rawls]

Thanks Rawls and Pfabel - appreciate it! This was one of those days at work which usually would have prompted a 1-can day (sucking down an entire can,) but ended up being a ZERO-can day! I'm two complete days in now and it fees like the world is in slow motion. A stop at the store which lasted not more than 15-minutes seemed like it lasted two hours. My head is in such a fog right now. Not angry, or moody, sad, depressed, etc... I'm just in my own bubble right now. Ugh.

Got two beers fermenting right now (brew my own, might have mentioned that before.) Not drinking beer right now due to the quit and these wont be ready for at least another month anyway. Anyhow, I came up with a good name for one of them - Quitter's Honey Lager.

Normally I'm not this chatty (er... type-y.) Must be the fogginess of the quit. It will be funny to look back on these posts in a few weeks and think WTF was going on here?! Haha

This sucks. I need a hooker. Lasagna.

ODAAT..... Days will start flying by.
What guitar do you play.
And are you a golfer¿
I Quit with you today.

[luby]

Just met you in chat and read your intro. I am not that active around here anymore, but if you want my help pm me, I've got some weird rules but you seem like a sick son of a bitch who might like my brand of quit sherpa. Look forward to hearing from, or not, whatever. Either way stay strong and never forget the "joy" of day 2!

[Stranger999]

Welcome Surgio - day two is bad ass! The best part about quitting is this - the fog eventually lifts! No one can tell you exactly when it will lift, but trust me when I tell you at some point it will. When it does you will feel better than you have in ages, and you won't have to spend hours a day stuffing poison in your mouth and hiding from the world to do so. A lot of us here were ninja dippers, myself included. Read everything that you can read on this site. Jump in live Chat. There are many tools here that can help you stay on the path to quit.

I quit with you today!

[Nomore1959]

Thanks Rawls and Pfabel - appreciate it! This was one of those days at work which usually would have prompted a 1-can day (sucking down an entire can,) but ended up being a ZERO-can day! I'm two complete days in now and it fees like the world is in slow motion. A stop at the store which lasted not more than 15-minutes seemed like it lasted two hours. My head is in such a fog right now. Not angry, or moody, sad, depressed, etc... I'm just in my own bubble right now. Ugh.

Got two beers fermenting right now (brew my own, might have mentioned that before.) Not drinking beer right now due to the quit and these wont be ready for at least another month anyway. Anyhow, I came up with a good name for one of them - Quitter's Honey Lager.

Normally I'm not this chatty (er... type-y.) Must be the fogginess of the quit. It will be funny to look back on these posts in a few weeks and think WTF was going on here?! Haha

This sucks. I need a hooker. Lasagna.

Lots of guys here homebrew. Great name!

That intense fog will last a while, but you have one more day of physical detox while nicotine is flushed from your system. Then it will change a bit. Keep a log here, it will help other quitters and then help you later when life gets better.

You are quitting hard! Awesome!

[Surgio65]

Thanks Rawls and Pfabel - appreciate it! This was one of those days at work which usually would have prompted a 1-can day (sucking down an entire can,) but ended up being a ZERO-can day! I'm two complete days in now and it fees like the world is in slow motion. A stop at the store which lasted not more than 15-minutes seemed like it lasted two hours. My head is in such a fog right now. Not angry, or moody, sad, depressed, etc... I'm just in my own bubble right now. Ugh.

Got two beers fermenting right now (brew my own, might have mentioned that before.) Not drinking beer right now due to the quit and these wont be ready for at least another month anyway. Anyhow, I came up with a good name for one of them - Quitter's Honey Lager.

Normally I'm not this chatty (er... type-y.) Must be the fogginess of the quit. It will be funny to look back on these posts in a few weeks and think WTF was going on here?! Haha

This sucks. I need a hooker. Lasagna.

[Rawls]

Other than that I'm just a weak-willed piece of crap who could never seem to overcome a stupid little plastic can of tobacco...

I think not......

It's not ALL about the will.
Your just uneducated about your addiction.
How many elementary kids you know, that can rebuild an engine.
Or rebuild it ....to win a race?
You were sold on buying a bike.
With flat tires. And no chain.
But your "WILL" was so strong you were ready to make it work!
You were sold a lie.
Trying to win the race on a bike won't work.
Here in the Halls of KTC...we learn from those that have succeeded before us.
We learn reality... And the TRUTH.
We learn we are actually very Strong willed addicts.
We learn to use that gift to our advantage and not use it to destroy us.

You will quit....
You will find a new Identity.
You can rebuild it...
You will win the race.
Read all you can here.
Post Roll early every morning.
I quit with you today.
The Truth will set you free.
Rawls 436

[Jpfabel1073]

I take that back about the withdraws not bothering me too much. Now that I'm finally home (long day) and settled down with nothing to do... this sucks ass. I feel bad. Steve Carrell getting his chest hairs ripped off of him in "40-year Old Virgin" bad. Im going ot go bury my head under a pillow and go dream of large, Russian women. Have no idea why... just sounds good right now.

You have made it through day 1, be proud of that! Try and get some sleep, wake up post roll again tomorrow morning and lets do this shit again! Quit with you Surgio!

[Surgio65]

I take that back about the withdraws not bothering me too much. Now that I'm finally home (long day) and settled down with nothing to do... this sucks ass. I feel bad. Steve Carrell getting his chest hairs ripped off of him in "40-year Old Virgin" bad. Im going ot go bury my head under a pillow and go dream of large, Russian women. Have no idea why... just sounds good right now.

[Surgio65]

Thanks for the welcomes - appreciate it! Eyehatecope you make a good point - there's no 'hope' here, only I will. I want this extra level of accountability so I can make it through this because I know I wont be able to do this on my own.

Regarding the suck/haze... I'm all too aware of what to expect. Like I said, tried quitting on my own several times before but have never been able to hold it together for more than a few weeks. The withdraws dont bother me too much - I stay busy, keep my mind off of it. It's that craving after you pass back out of it where I've failed before. That feeling of, "Cool, I'm home free - glad that's over... how about one more pinch before I'm done for good?"

Thanks jpfabel for pointing out I'm in the wrong month. I had some bad insomnia last night, coimbined with a touch of withdraw haze. Wow I was way off, lol!