Day 1 for peters6278

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

I realized that today, being day 36 of my quit, marks the longest I've been without nicotine polluting my body in almost 4 years.  My last 'stoppage', having failed at 5 weeks and well before I had become part of the KTC family, seemed a whole lot tougher than my new reality, my quit.  Now I know why.  Some people can go it alone and I get that.  My hat goes off to them if they are successful, but it hasn't and doesn't work for me.  THIS works.

In some ways, I feel like I'm in uncharted territory right now....like a small sail boat upon the open ocean sailing out of a huge, black storm into sunny, calm, open water.  The sea extends to the horizon in all directions, and I'm not exactly sure what lies ahead.  I don't really know where to go here other than to stay the course, which is what I will do.  The only certainty is that there is no going back.  The thunderous dark clouds that lie behind me and the equally dark memories of what lie within compel me to push onward, into the unknown.

One day at time, I'm going to put a little bit more distance between me and that storm.  I'm not exactly sure what is in front of me, but I have this tiny, growing feeling that I know this place up ahead.....like I may have actually been there before, a long time ago.  Perhaps it's my former life, welcoming me back, or a new place that is similar, but carries with it a few scars of battling the storm and the pride of conquering one of the hardest challenges life has ever thrown at me....one tiny day at a time.

I know it's a little early in my quit for such philosophical ramblings, but it's how I feel.  I can only image what I'll feel a year from now.....but I'll let you know then too.

Thanks to all my fellow quitters who have and continue to make it happen for me.  Whether you interact here with me or not you posting, stories, and experiences provide for structure in my quit.  You are the gentle breeze that fills my sails and my sextant when I get lost on this open ocean journey of mine. 

I sail on with you, one day at time.

You beautiful sentimental resolute bastard you!

'cry'

I hear Lionel Richie somewhere singing Sail On!

Go man go! Quitting with you!

You and slug.go should get together to watch Ellen and eat bon bons.

Seriously though....

That's beautiful man, enjoy each day of your new freedom!

[apogeeammo]

I realized that today, being day 36 of my quit, marks the longest I've been without nicotine polluting my body in almost 4 years.  My last 'stoppage', having failed at 5 weeks and well before I had become part of the KTC family, seemed a whole lot tougher than my new reality, my quit.  Now I know why.  Some people can go it alone and I get that.  My hat goes off to them if they are successful, but it hasn't and doesn't work for me.  THIS works.

In some ways, I feel like I'm in uncharted territory right now....like a small sail boat upon the open ocean sailing out of a huge, black storm into sunny, calm, open water.  The sea extends to the horizon in all directions, and I'm not exactly sure what lies ahead.  I don't really know where to go here other than to stay the course, which is what I will do.  The only certainty is that there is no going back.  The thunderous dark clouds that lie behind me and the equally dark memories of what lie within compel me to push onward, into the unknown.

One day at time, I'm going to put a little bit more distance between me and that storm.  I'm not exactly sure what is in front of me, but I have this tiny, growing feeling that I know this place up ahead.....like I may have actually been there before, a long time ago.  Perhaps it's my former life, welcoming me back, or a new place that is similar, but carries with it a few scars of battling the storm and the pride of conquering one of the hardest challenges life has ever thrown at me....one tiny day at a time.

I know it's a little early in my quit for such philosophical ramblings, but it's how I feel.  I can only image what I'll feel a year from now.....but I'll let you know then too.

Thanks to all my fellow quitters who have and continue to make it happen for me.  Whether you interact here with me or not you posting, stories, and experiences provide for structure in my quit.  You are the gentle breeze that fills my sails and my sextant when I get lost on this open ocean journey of mine. 

I sail on with you, one day at time.

You beautiful sentimental resolute bastard you!

'cry'

I hear Lionel Richie somewhere singing Sail On!

Go man go! Quitting with you!

[peters6278]

I realized that today, being day 36 of my quit, marks the longest I've been without nicotine polluting my body in almost 4 years. My last 'stoppage', having failed at 5 weeks and well before I had become part of the KTC family, seemed a whole lot tougher than my new reality, my quit. Now I know why. Some people can go it alone and I get that. My hat goes off to them if they are successful, but it hasn't and doesn't work for me. THIS works.

In some ways, I feel like I'm in uncharted territory right now....like a small sail boat upon the open ocean sailing out of a huge, black storm into sunny, calm, open water. The sea extends to the horizon in all directions, and I'm not exactly sure what lies ahead. I don't really know where to go here other than to stay the course, which is what I will do. The only certainty is that there is no going back. The thunderous dark clouds that lie behind me and the equally dark memories of what lie within compel me to push onward, into the unknown.

One day at time, I'm going to put a little bit more distance between me and that storm. I'm not exactly sure what is in front of me, but I have this tiny, growing feeling that I know this place up ahead.....like I may have actually been there before, a long time ago. Perhaps it's my former life, welcoming me back, or a new place that is similar, but carries with it a few scars of battling the storm and the pride of conquering one of the hardest challenges life has ever thrown at me....one tiny day at a time.

I know it's a little early in my quit for such philosophical ramblings, but it's how I feel. I can only image what I'll feel a year from now.....but I'll let you know then too.

Thanks to all my fellow quitters who have and continue to make it happen for me. Whether you interact here with me or not you posting, stories, and experiences provide for structure in my quit. You are the gentle breeze that fills my sails and my sextant when I get lost on this open ocean journey of mine.

I sail on with you, one day at time.

[Derk40]

Day 35 Update

My, how the worm has turned.  Barely thinking about dip anymore and haven't had a single crave in over a week now.  This is good stuff right here. 

On the way home from the gym yesterday after work, saw a dude in a pickup truck in front of me unload a mouthful of poison juice on the pavement while stopped at a red light......made me sick, actually.  What used to be longing for the NB has turned to solid disgust.  Man that shit is nasty.  I really was that guy for all those years?....what a waste.  I officially hate the Bitch now.

First running race in 17 years coming up on Sunday (8k) and as ready as I'm going to be with only one month of training under my belt.  Regardless, gonna imagine I'm stomping the Nic Bitch every step of the way....might just drop my time by a few minutes.

Quitting on.

Excellent, run hard Sunday!

The world record 8k is 20 19. I have been trying to break it for a year now. If i can get 2 more miles in 20 minutes then I'm getting right now I'll be close.

Maybe you can take it. It's only 4 05 a mile. Have a great run my friend. Quit with you today.

Congrats on 35 days! I'm gonna hate the NIC B right Long with ya today. Funny when you see how dumb we once looked with face full of garbage. No more my friend. We R free men. We R quit today. Good luck in your run this weekend! Quit on!

[srans]

Day 35 Update

My, how the worm has turned.  Barely thinking about dip anymore and haven't had a single crave in over a week now.  This is good stuff right here. 

On the way home from the gym yesterday after work, saw a dude in a pickup truck in front of me unload a mouthful of poison juice on the pavement while stopped at a red light......made me sick, actually.  What used to be longing for the NB has turned to solid disgust.  Man that shit is nasty.  I really was that guy for all those years?....what a waste.  I officially hate the Bitch now.

First running race in 17 years coming up on Sunday (8k) and as ready as I'm going to be with only one month of training under my belt.  Regardless, gonna imagine I'm stomping the Nic Bitch every step of the way....might just drop my time by a few minutes.

Quitting on.

Excellent, run hard Sunday!

The world record 8k is 20 19. I have been trying to break it for a year now. If i can get 2 more miles in 20 minutes then I'm getting right now I'll be close.

Maybe you can take it. It's only 4 05 a mile. Have a great run my friend. Quit with you today.

[SAM83]

Day 35 Update

My, how the worm has turned. Barely thinking about dip anymore and haven't had a single crave in over a week now. This is good stuff right here.

On the way home from the gym yesterday after work, saw a dude in a pickup truck in front of me unload a mouthful of poison juice on the pavement while stopped at a red light......made me sick, actually. What used to be longing for the NB has turned to solid disgust. Man that shit is nasty. I really was that guy for all those years?....what a waste. I officially hate the Bitch now.

First running race in 17 years coming up on Sunday (8k) and as ready as I'm going to be with only one month of training under my belt. Regardless, gonna imagine I'm stomping the Nic Bitch every step of the way....might just drop my time by a few minutes.

Quitting on.

Excellent, run hard Sunday!

[peters6278]

Day 35 Update

My, how the worm has turned. Barely thinking about dip anymore and haven't had a single crave in over a week now. This is good stuff right here.

On the way home from the gym yesterday after work, saw a dude in a pickup truck in front of me unload a mouthful of poison juice on the pavement while stopped at a red light......made me sick, actually. What used to be longing for the NB has turned to solid disgust. Man that shit is nasty. I really was that guy for all those years?....what a waste. I officially hate the Bitch now.

First running race in 17 years coming up on Sunday (8k) and as ready as I'm going to be with only one month of training under my belt. Regardless, gonna imagine I'm stomping the Nic Bitch every step of the way....might just drop my time by a few minutes.

Quitting on.

[SAM83]

Day 25 Update

Oh man, life is starting to get better. 

After a month of getting back into a solid exercising routine, the pain in my poor joints/muscles is subsiding and the status of my exercise routine is starting to catch up to that of my quit.  My body and my quit are both getting stronger by the day and I'm pretty much on cruise control.  Both are solid, comfortable, and just part of my daily routine.

My patience / temperament is also improving a little each day.  Once upon a time....like 15 years ago before I had ever dipped.....people used to tell me that I was like a rock, who had infinite patience, no outwards signs of anxiety, and absolutely no temper whatsoever.  In short, I was always calm and optimistic.  Over the last few years, I had come to 'realize' that perhaps I WAS anxiety-ridden (like certain members of my family who will remain nameless), that I HAD a temper, and that I was an eternal pessimist. To what extent this is true and to what extent this was just part of what nicotine and my addiction to nicotine did to me has yet to be fully revealed.  However, it's starting to appear that I may actually get back to that pre-dip ideal outlook on life that I had come (correction - distorted by nicotine) into believing was only a figment of my imagination.  Lost in memory over time.

Sure I still get irrationally agitated over little things from time to time, but hey, I'm a newbie quitter at only 25 days.  My brain is still early in the process of figuring out how to deal with life without the 'support' of an instant drug fix.  While I have a long way to go, I definitely feel like I am operating with a lower daily anxiety level that I have been in a very long time, and it feels pretty damn good.

Not only do I feel like I'm winning the war, but I'm getting hit with the occasional 'flashback' of my former life before nicotine went and fucked it all up....only it's no longer a flashback, but rather a new and entirely authentic experience.....a piece of my life that I have definitively taken back......and these experiences have become my quit fuel.  Am I still an addict?...you bet, always will be,  but now I have a new, predominant addiction.  I'm addicted to MYQUIT and I won't stop 'using' my quit until I get my WHOLE life back.

Before, I was on my knees, with only an early death to look forward to..
Then, my KTC brothers helped me pick up the sword and pry myself off the ground with it.
Now, I am on my feet.  Still weak, but with sword in hand....ready to defend myself again the bitch.
Someday I will I be a goddamned certified nic bitch slayer.

ODAAT til' that day come.

Oh hell yeah buddy it does seem like we might be on the same day of our quit or something!! I see what you are talking about now lol. Way to go! Keep up the good work. Re-fuel on these good days and continue to not let failure be an option! 'oh yeah'

Little taste of the good life....guard it like a MF'r. ODAAT! Gettin' a glimpse that it will not always be an hourly struggle. Quit on!

[ssever122]

Day 25 Update

Oh man, life is starting to get better.

After a month of getting back into a solid exercising routine, the pain in my poor joints/muscles is subsiding and the status of my exercise routine is starting to catch up to that of my quit. My body and my quit are both getting stronger by the day and I'm pretty much on cruise control. Both are solid, comfortable, and just part of my daily routine.

My patience / temperament is also improving a little each day. Once upon a time....like 15 years ago before I had ever dipped.....people used to tell me that I was like a rock, who had infinite patience, no outwards signs of anxiety, and absolutely no temper whatsoever. In short, I was always calm and optimistic. Over the last few years, I had come to 'realize' that perhaps I WAS anxiety-ridden (like certain members of my family who will remain nameless), that I HAD a temper, and that I was an eternal pessimist. To what extent this is true and to what extent this was just part of what nicotine and my addiction to nicotine did to me has yet to be fully revealed. However, it's starting to appear that I may actually get back to that pre-dip ideal outlook on life that I had come (correction - distorted by nicotine) into believing was only a figment of my imagination. Lost in memory over time.

Sure I still get irrationally agitated over little things from time to time, but hey, I'm a newbie quitter at only 25 days. My brain is still early in the process of figuring out how to deal with life without the 'support' of an instant drug fix. While I have a long way to go, I definitely feel like I am operating with a lower daily anxiety level that I have been in a very long time, and it feels pretty damn good.

Not only do I feel like I'm winning the war, but I'm getting hit with the occasional 'flashback' of my former life before nicotine went and fucked it all up....only it's no longer a flashback, but rather a new and entirely authentic experience.....a piece of my life that I have definitively taken back......and these experiences have become my quit fuel. Am I still an addict?...you bet, always will be, but now I have a new, predominant addiction. I'm addicted to MYQUIT and I won't stop 'using' my quit until I get my WHOLE life back.

Before, I was on my knees, with only an early death to look forward to..
Then, my KTC brothers helped me pick up the sword and pry myself off the ground with it.
Now, I am on my feet. Still weak, but with sword in hand....ready to defend myself again the bitch.
Someday I will I be a goddamned certified nic bitch slayer.

ODAAT til' that day come.

Oh hell yeah buddy it does seem like we might be on the same day of our quit or something!! I see what you are talking about now lol. Way to go! Keep up the good work. Re-fuel on these good days and continue to not let failure be an option! 'oh yeah'

[peters6278]

Thanks folks for all of the support. Your praise helps me reaffirm that I'm on the right path and helps strengthen my quit. I am quit with all of you today!

[Scowick65]

Day 25 Update

Oh man, life is starting to get better. 

After a month of getting back into a solid exercising routine, the pain in my poor joints/muscles is subsiding and the status of my exercise routine is starting to catch up to that of my quit.  My body and my quit are both getting stronger by the day and I'm pretty much on cruise control.  Both are solid, comfortable, and just part of my daily routine.

My patience / temperament is also improving a little each day.  Once upon a time....like 15 years ago before I had ever dipped.....people used to tell me that I was like a rock, who had infinite patience, no outwards signs of anxiety, and absolutely no temper whatsoever.  In short, I was always calm and optimistic.  Over the last few years, I had come to 'realize' that perhaps I WAS anxiety-ridden (like certain members of my family who will remain nameless), that I HAD a temper, and that I was an eternal pessimist. To what extent this is true and to what extent this was just part of what nicotine and my addiction to nicotine did to me has yet to be fully revealed.  However, it's starting to appear that I may actually get back to that pre-dip ideal outlook on life that I had come (correction - distorted by nicotine) into believing was only a figment of my imagination.  Lost in memory over time.

Sure I still get irrationally agitated over little things from time to time, but hey, I'm a newbie quitter at only 25 days.  My brain is still early in the process of figuring out how to deal with life without the 'support' of an instant drug fix.  While I have a long way to go, I definitely feel like I am operating with a lower daily anxiety level that I have been in a very long time, and it feels pretty damn good.

Not only do I feel like I'm winning the war, but I'm getting hit with the occasional 'flashback' of my former life before nicotine went and fucked it all up....only it's no longer a flashback, but rather a new and entirely authentic experience.....a piece of my life that I have definitively taken back......and these experiences have become my quit fuel.  Am I still an addict?...you bet,  but now I have a new, predominant addition.  I'm addicted to MYQUIT and I won't stop 'using' my quit until I get my WHOLE life back.

Before, I was on my knees, with only an early death to look forward to..
Then, my KTC brothers helped me pick up the sword and pry myself off the ground with it.
Now, I am on my feet.  Still weak, but with sword in hand....ready to defend myself again the bitch.
Someday I will I be a goddamned certified nic bitch slayer.

ODAAT til' that day come.

Folks...this is what we should call a "Fuckin' A- Quit." When you read the words, you should jump out of your chair and yell "Fuckin' A-!" in support of this man and his quit. Dead solid quit bro!
ZC

FUCKIN' A!

Its getting easier bro, you know why? You've excepted that failure is not an option. The brain is recovering. At this point your going to have some good days with some occasional questionable days. Cherish the good, sharpen your tools and be prepared for whatever comes around the corner.

You've demonstrated all the characteristics of a serious quitter. Determination, drive and integrity. Freedom and dignity is your reward. I don't see one reason you can't wake up tomorrow and repeat. Congrats..

I hereby certify you as an official "nic bitch slayer".

I love this post.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Day 25 Update

Oh man, life is starting to get better. 

After a month of getting back into a solid exercising routine, the pain in my poor joints/muscles is subsiding and the status of my exercise routine is starting to catch up to that of my quit.  My body and my quit are both getting stronger by the day and I'm pretty much on cruise control.  Both are solid, comfortable, and just part of my daily routine.

My patience / temperament is also improving a little each day.  Once upon a time....like 15 years ago before I had ever dipped.....people used to tell me that I was like a rock, who had infinite patience, no outwards signs of anxiety, and absolutely no temper whatsoever.  In short, I was always calm and optimistic.  Over the last few years, I had come to 'realize' that perhaps I WAS anxiety-ridden (like certain members of my family who will remain nameless), that I HAD a temper, and that I was an eternal pessimist. To what extent this is true and to what extent this was just part of what nicotine and my addiction to nicotine did to me has yet to be fully revealed.  However, it's starting to appear that I may actually get back to that pre-dip ideal outlook on life that I had come (correction - distorted by nicotine) into believing was only a figment of my imagination.  Lost in memory over time.

Sure I still get irrationally agitated over little things from time to time, but hey, I'm a newbie quitter at only 25 days.  My brain is still early in the process of figuring out how to deal with life without the 'support' of an instant drug fix.  While I have a long way to go, I definitely feel like I am operating with a lower daily anxiety level that I have been in a very long time, and it feels pretty damn good.

Not only do I feel like I'm winning the war, but I'm getting hit with the occasional 'flashback' of my former life before nicotine went and fucked it all up....only it's no longer a flashback, but rather a new and entirely authentic experience.....a piece of my life that I have definitively taken back......and these experiences have become my quit fuel.  Am I still an addict?...you bet,  but now I have a new, predominant addition.  I'm addicted to MYQUIT and I won't stop 'using' my quit until I get my WHOLE life back.

Before, I was on my knees, with only an early death to look forward to..
Then, my KTC brothers helped me pick up the sword and pry myself off the ground with it.
Now, I am on my feet.  Still weak, but with sword in hand....ready to defend myself again the bitch.
Someday I will I be a goddamned certified nic bitch slayer.

ODAAT til' that day come.

Folks...this is what we should call a "Fuckin' A- Quit." When you read the words, you should jump out of your chair and yell "Fuckin' A-!" in support of this man and his quit. Dead solid quit bro!
ZC

FUCKIN' A!

Its getting easier bro, you know why? You've excepted that failure is not an option. The brain is recovering. At this point your going to have some good days with some occasional questionable days. Cherish the good, sharpen your tools and be prepared for whatever comes around the corner.

You've demonstrated all the characteristics of a serious quitter. Determination, drive and integrity. Freedom and dignity is your reward. I don't see one reason you can't wake up tomorrow and repeat. Congrats..

I hereby certify you as an official "nic bitch slayer".

[srans]

Day 25 Update

Oh man, life is starting to get better. 

After a month of getting back into a solid exercising routine, the pain in my poor joints/muscles is subsiding and the status of my exercise routine is starting to catch up to that of my quit.  My body and my quit are both getting stronger by the day and I'm pretty much on cruise control.  Both are solid, comfortable, and just part of my daily routine.

My patience / temperament is also improving a little each day.  Once upon a time....like 15 years ago before I had ever dipped.....people used to tell me that I was like a rock, who had infinite patience, no outwards signs of anxiety, and absolutely no temper whatsoever.  In short, I was always calm and optimistic.  Over the last few years, I had come to 'realize' that perhaps I WAS anxiety-ridden (like certain members of my family who will remain nameless), that I HAD a temper, and that I was an eternal pessimist. To what extent this is true and to what extent this was just part of what nicotine and my addiction to nicotine did to me has yet to be fully revealed.  However, it's starting to appear that I may actually get back to that pre-dip ideal outlook on life that I had come (correction - distorted by nicotine) into believing was only a figment of my imagination.  Lost in memory over time.

Sure I still get irrationally agitated over little things from time to time, but hey, I'm a newbie quitter at only 25 days.  My brain is still early in the process of figuring out how to deal with life without the 'support' of an instant drug fix.  While I have a long way to go, I definitely feel like I am operating with a lower daily anxiety level that I have been in a very long time, and it feels pretty damn good.

Not only do I feel like I'm winning the war, but I'm getting hit with the occasional 'flashback' of my former life before nicotine went and fucked it all up....only it's no longer a flashback, but rather a new and entirely authentic experience.....a piece of my life that I have definitively taken back......and these experiences have become my quit fuel.  Am I still an addict?...you bet,  but now I have a new, predominant addition.  I'm addicted to MYQUIT and I won't stop 'using' my quit until I get my WHOLE life back.

Before, I was on my knees, with only an early death to look forward to..
Then, my KTC brothers helped me pick up the sword and pry myself off the ground with it.
Now, I am on my feet.  Still weak, but with sword in hand....ready to defend myself again the bitch.
Someday I will I be a goddamned certified nic bitch slayer.

ODAAT til' that day come.

Folks...this is what we should call a "Fuckin' A- Quit." When you read the words, you should jump out of your chair and yell "Fuckin' A-!" in support of this man and his quit. Dead solid quit bro!
ZC

FUCKIN' A!

Its getting easier bro, you know why? You've excepted that failure is not an option. The brain is recovering. At this point your going to have some good days with some occasional questionable days. Cherish the good, sharpen your tools and be prepared for whatever comes around the corner.

You've demonstrated all the characteristics of a serious quitter. Determination, drive and integrity. Freedom and dignity is your reward. I don't see one reason you can't wake up tomorrow and repeat. Congrats..

[Mthomas3824]

Day 25 Update

Oh man, life is starting to get better. 

After a month of getting back into a solid exercising routine, the pain in my poor joints/muscles is subsiding and the status of my exercise routine is starting to catch up to that of my quit.  My body and my quit are both getting stronger by the day and I'm pretty much on cruise control.  Both are solid, comfortable, and just part of my daily routine.

My patience / temperament is also improving a little each day.  Once upon a time....like 15 years ago before I had ever dipped.....people used to tell me that I was like a rock, who had infinite patience, no outwards signs of anxiety, and absolutely no temper whatsoever.  In short, I was always calm and optimistic.  Over the last few years, I had come to 'realize' that perhaps I WAS anxiety-ridden (like certain members of my family who will remain nameless), that I HAD a temper, and that I was an eternal pessimist. To what extent this is true and to what extent this was just part of what nicotine and my addiction to nicotine did to me has yet to be fully revealed.  However, it's starting to appear that I may actually get back to that pre-dip ideal outlook on life that I had come (correction - distorted by nicotine) into believing was only a figment of my imagination.  Lost in memory over time.

Sure I still get irrationally agitated over little things from time to time, but hey, I'm a newbie quitter at only 25 days.  My brain is still early in the process of figuring out how to deal with life without the 'support' of an instant drug fix.  While I have a long way to go, I definitely feel like I am operating with a lower daily anxiety level that I have been in a very long time, and it feels pretty damn good.

Not only do I feel like I'm winning the war, but I'm getting hit with the occasional 'flashback' of my former life before nicotine went and fucked it all up....only it's no longer a flashback, but rather a new and entirely authentic experience.....a piece of my life that I have definitively taken back......and these experiences have become my quit fuel.  Am I still an addict?...you bet,  but now I have a new, predominant addition.  I'm addicted to MYQUIT and I won't stop 'using' my quit until I get my WHOLE life back.

Before, I was on my knees, with only an early death to look forward to..
Then, my KTC brothers helped me pick up the sword and pry myself off the ground with it.
Now, I am on my feet.  Still weak, but with sword in hand....ready to defend myself again the bitch.
Someday I will I be a goddamned certified nic bitch slayer.

ODAAT til' that day come.

Folks...this is what we should call a "Fuckin' A- Quit." When you read the words, you should jump out of your chair and yell "Fuckin' A-!" in support of this man and his quit. Dead solid quit bro!
ZC

FUCKIN' A!

[ZillahCowboy]

Day 25 Update

Oh man, life is starting to get better.

After a month of getting back into a solid exercising routine, the pain in my poor joints/muscles is subsiding and the status of my exercise routine is starting to catch up to that of my quit. My body and my quit are both getting stronger by the day and I'm pretty much on cruise control. Both are solid, comfortable, and just part of my daily routine.

My patience / temperament is also improving a little each day. Once upon a time....like 15 years ago before I had ever dipped.....people used to tell me that I was like a rock, who had infinite patience, no outwards signs of anxiety, and absolutely no temper whatsoever. In short, I was always calm and optimistic. Over the last few years, I had come to 'realize' that perhaps I WAS anxiety-ridden (like certain members of my family who will remain nameless), that I HAD a temper, and that I was an eternal pessimist. To what extent this is true and to what extent this was just part of what nicotine and my addiction to nicotine did to me has yet to be fully revealed. However, it's starting to appear that I may actually get back to that pre-dip ideal outlook on life that I had come (correction - distorted by nicotine) into believing was only a figment of my imagination. Lost in memory over time.

Sure I still get irrationally agitated over little things from time to time, but hey, I'm a newbie quitter at only 25 days. My brain is still early in the process of figuring out how to deal with life without the 'support' of an instant drug fix. While I have a long way to go, I definitely feel like I am operating with a lower daily anxiety level that I have been in a very long time, and it feels pretty damn good.

Not only do I feel like I'm winning the war, but I'm getting hit with the occasional 'flashback' of my former life before nicotine went and fucked it all up....only it's no longer a flashback, but rather a new and entirely authentic experience.....a piece of my life that I have definitively taken back......and these experiences have become my quit fuel. Am I still an addict?...you bet, but now I have a new, predominant addition. I'm addicted to MYQUIT and I won't stop 'using' my quit until I get my WHOLE life back.

Before, I was on my knees, with only an early death to look forward to..
Then, my KTC brothers helped me pick up the sword and pry myself off the ground with it.
Now, I am on my feet. Still weak, but with sword in hand....ready to defend myself again the bitch.
Someday I will I be a goddamned certified nic bitch slayer.

ODAAT til' that day come.

Folks...this is what we should call a "Fuckin' A- Quit." When you read the words, you should jump out of your chair and yell "Fuckin' A-!" in support of this man and his quit. Dead solid quit bro!
ZC