Day 3 of My First Attempt to Quit

[carumba10]

Day 20

Good :
- 50 minute Tempo run
- Signed up new customer

Bad :
- 24/7 Cravings continue
- Bad diet continues

I have been looking for a post from Bernie Madoff cause this feels like a ponzi scheme.

"Mr Madoff, when will we start seeing a return on our money ? "
"After day 3 Mr Sucke ...I mean Jones, wait till you get through day 3"
"Mr Madoff, it's day 4, and still no returns"
" It's a process, wait until day 7"
"Mr Madoff, it's day 8. What gives?"
" You need to be patient. Wait for 2 weeks"
"Mr Madoff, it has been 19 days ?"
" Days 20-30 can be really bad for making money. Hang on until day 31"

Rinse. Repeat.

'bang head'

[rgross298]

Day 18

The Good - Ran 14 km today

The Bad -Cravings every waking minute. Was hoping as the days went by the cravings might slow down. Apparently not.
- ate an entire cake last night washed it down with a bottle of Coke (haven't drank Coke in years)

So traded the dip for binging on fat, cholesterol, sugar and empty calories.

/golfclap

Keep focused. Make conscious decisions on what to "trade" for going forward. Trade in your tins (for today) for ten bucks in your pocket, 20 mm HG off your blood pressure, no mouth sores and another day when you didn't stick a cancerous poison in your lip. Even better, one day you didn't put money in Hemanshu's (convenience store owner) or Big Tobacco's pocket. Fuck Them.

Great job on the run, I've been ramping up lately as well, after feeling sorry for myself for gaining five lbs since I've quit. Feeling strong.

You are doing great. Don't make this a zero-sum game. The goal is to quit tobacco, forever. We can be tobacco-free AND also be fit and healthy.

[carumba10]

Day 18

The Good - Ran 14 km today

The Bad -Cravings every waking minute. Was hoping as the days went by the cravings might slow down. Apparently not.
- ate an entire cake last night washed it down with a bottle of Coke (haven't drank Coke in years)

So traded the dip for binging on fat, cholesterol, sugar and empty calories.

/golfclap

[cmark]

QUOTE=carumba10,Apr 4, 2012, 6:47 am] Forgot to add my other embarrassing story.

My GF and I went out of town for the weekend for some RR. We also planned to drop by and visit my ex boss in his new home and have dinner. My ex boss was a guy I really admired. I hadn't seen him for 4 years since his retirement. So we showed up and was introduced to his wife. She told us dinner served in 30 minutes and brought us a drink.

So of course that gave me time for a chew. So I excused myself to use the bathroom and put the dip in (right side of course because that's the side that doesn't show). Of course no spitter available so am gutting it. 30 minutes later dinner is announced. I excuse myself again to use the washroom on the pretext of washing up, and get rid of the dip.

Dinner was great. Plates cleared and coffee was served. Time for an after meal dip. So I excused myself again (they must think I have a minature bladder). Whatever, I needed the chew. So I get my dip in, and come back to the table. Just as I sat down, they served dessert !? Now what the fuck am I going to do ? There is a bowl of fruit and creme placed in front of each person. I can't excuse myself again since I just got back from the bathroom 10 seconds earlier. No way can I get the dip out of my mouth with everyone sitting there....and I can't refuse the dessert.

Solution ? Since the dip is on my right side, I would place a small amount of fruit on my left side, chew it lightly, and basically swallow it whole....and at the same time trying like hell not to swallow any chew.....which of course is impossible.

At the time it was frustrating, but just another shit happens type of moment. After joining KTC, and reading other peoples events, then looking back at this clusterfuck it hits home even harder. I am a drug addict. If that scene actually felt normal to me then what was that drug doing to my mind ?

Crazy stuff.

Priceless. I think we have all been there. No more.
[/QUOTE]

I have so done that .... Done the "pretend" sneeze into a Paper towel at dinner table .... NOT A GOOD IDEA!

[carumba10]

Day 17, first dip dream last night. Very realistic. Not helping the cravings today.

I am hoping the craves will slow down soon. Day to day life not real fun when dip is on your mind every minute.

[Wt57]

Forgot to add my other embarrassing story.

My GF and I went out of town for the weekend for some RR. We also planned to drop by and visit my ex boss in his new home and have dinner. My ex boss was a guy I really admired. I hadn't seen him for 4 years since his retirement. So we showed up and was introduced to his wife. She told us dinner served in 30 minutes and brought us a drink.

So of course that gave me time for a chew. So I excused myself to use the bathroom and put the dip in (right side of course because that's the side that doesn't show). Of course no spitter available so am gutting it. 30 minutes later dinner is announced. I excuse myself again to use the washroom on the pretext of washing up, and get rid of the dip.

Dinner was great. Plates cleared and coffee was served. Time for an after meal dip. So I excused myself again (they must think I have a minature bladder). Whatever, I needed the chew. So I get my dip in, and come back to the table. Just as I sat down, they served dessert !? Now what the fuck am I going to do ? There is a bowl of fruit and creme placed in front of each person. I can't excuse myself again since I just got back from the bathroom 10 seconds earlier. No way can I get the dip out of my mouth with everyone sitting there....and I can't refuse the dessert.

Solution ? Since the dip is on my right side, I would place a small amount of fruit on my left side, chew it lightly, and basically swallow it whole....and at the same time trying like hell not to swallow any chew.....which of course is impossible.

At the time it was frustrating, but just another shit happens type of moment. After joining KTC, and reading other peoples events, then looking back at this clusterfuck it hits home even harder. I am a drug addict. If that scene actually felt normal to me then what was that drug doing to my mind ?

Crazy stuff.

Priceless. I think we have all been there. No more.
Protect your quit, keep it strong.

Reminded me of all the time I got caught off guard a just got a pop and washed the whole thing down. Wow Were we sick!!

[carumba10]

Day 14 is a bit of a pain. I am actually tasting the cope right now and my mouth is constantly salivating.

Poor

[T-Cell]

Forgot to add my other embarrassing story.

My GF and I went out of town for the weekend for some RR. We also planned to drop by and visit my ex boss in his new home and have dinner. My ex boss was a guy I really admired. I hadn't seen him for 4 years since his retirement. So we showed up and was introduced to his wife. She told us dinner served in 30 minutes and brought us a drink.

So of course that gave me time for a chew. So I excused myself to use the bathroom and put the dip in (right side of course because that's the side that doesn't show). Of course no spitter available so am gutting it. 30 minutes later dinner is announced. I excuse myself again to use the washroom on the pretext of washing up, and get rid of the dip.

Dinner was great. Plates cleared and coffee was served. Time for an after meal dip. So I excused myself again (they must think I have a minature bladder). Whatever, I needed the chew. So I get my dip in, and come back to the table. Just as I sat down, they served dessert !? Now what the fuck am I going to do ? There is a bowl of fruit and creme placed in front of each person. I can't excuse myself again since I just got back from the bathroom 10 seconds earlier. No way can I get the dip out of my mouth with everyone sitting there....and I can't refuse the dessert.

Solution ? Since the dip is on my right side, I would place a small amount of fruit on my left side, chew it lightly, and basically swallow it whole....and at the same time trying like hell not to swallow any chew.....which of course is impossible.

At the time it was frustrating, but just another shit happens type of moment. After joining KTC, and reading other peoples events, then looking back at this clusterfuck it hits home even harder. I am a drug addict. If that scene actually felt normal to me then what was that drug doing to my mind ?

Crazy stuff.

Priceless. I think we have all been there. No more.
Protect your quit, keep it strong.

[carumba10]

Forgot to add my other embarrassing story.

My GF and I went out of town for the weekend for some RR. We also planned to drop by and visit my ex boss in his new home and have dinner. My ex boss was a guy I really admired. I hadn't seen him for 4 years since his retirement. So we showed up and was introduced to his wife. She told us dinner served in 30 minutes and brought us a drink.

So of course that gave me time for a chew. So I excused myself to use the bathroom and put the dip in (right side of course because that's the side that doesn't show). Of course no spitter available so am gutting it. 30 minutes later dinner is announced. I excuse myself again to use the washroom on the pretext of washing up, and get rid of the dip.

Dinner was great. Plates cleared and coffee was served. Time for an after meal dip. So I excused myself again (they must think I have a minature bladder). Whatever, I needed the chew. So I get my dip in, and come back to the table. Just as I sat down, they served dessert !? Now what the fuck am I going to do ? There is a bowl of fruit and creme placed in front of each person. I can't excuse myself again since I just got back from the bathroom 10 seconds earlier. No way can I get the dip out of my mouth with everyone sitting there....and I can't refuse the dessert.

Solution ? Since the dip is on my right side, I would place a small amount of fruit on my left side, chew it lightly, and basically swallow it whole....and at the same time trying like hell not to swallow any chew.....which of course is impossible.

At the time it was frustrating, but just another shit happens type of moment. After joining KTC, and reading other peoples events, then looking back at this clusterfuck it hits home even harder. I am a drug addict. If that scene actually felt normal to me then what was that drug doing to my mind ?

Crazy stuff.

[Grizzly25]

The more I read on KTC the more ridicoulos I feel. All the trials, tribulations and games we go through just to be able to dip. As I was driving home today I thought of a couple that make me shake my head in disgust.

Apparently my mouth shape or teeth aren't even. If I put a dip into my right side it is basically invisable. In my left side it leaves a noticable bump and if I open my mouth too much when talking you can actually see the dip. So the easy answer is always put the dip on the right side. We all know we can't do that because we have to share the load. All the abuse can't go to the same side everytime. so the answer ? In public, when I might have to talk, dip goes to the right. By myself, dip on the left. With all the problems we deal with on a day to day basis, how pathetic is it to waste one second trying to solve this " problem"

Taking stock of all of the fucking nuances I did to court tobacco in recent years was/is one of the biggest motivating factors for me to quit. I was a ninja dipper extraordinaire, to the point that it was a seamless part of my life. In the last few years, I'd mastered covertly loading a dip in any situation, in front of anyone, with a quick back turn, or a "delay" when the family is loading into the car, etc.

You know what really got to me recently? My 4-year-old son started saying "I'm rinsing my mouth like Daddy" after he brushed his teeth by sticking his head in the sink and rinsing his mouth out straight from the fixture. Wow, it finally got through to my sorry ass head that it was time to make a change. What a freaking white-trash, redneck punk I've been for 21 years.

No more. Fuck tobacco.

Rinsing your mouth straight from the tap. Sounds familar. 'bang head'

Isn't it great when you can start to think clearly you realize how stupid it was to dip in the first place!!

Keep up the good work and remember these thoughts they will certainly strengthen your resolve!!!

Stay quit bro!

[carumba10]

The more I read on KTC the more ridicoulos I feel. All the trials, tribulations and games we go through just to be able to dip. As I was driving home today I thought of a couple that make me shake my head in disgust.

Apparently my mouth shape or teeth aren't even. If I put a dip into my right side it is basically invisable. In my left side it leaves a noticable bump and if I open my mouth too much when talking you can actually see the dip. So the easy answer is always put the dip on the right side. We all know we can't do that because we have to share the load. All the abuse can't go to the same side everytime. so the answer ? In public, when I might have to talk, dip goes to the right. By myself, dip on the left. With all the problems we deal with on a day to day basis, how pathetic is it to waste one second trying to solve this " problem"

Taking stock of all of the fucking nuances I did to court tobacco in recent years was/is one of the biggest motivating factors for me to quit. I was a ninja dipper extraordinaire, to the point that it was a seamless part of my life. In the last few years, I'd mastered covertly loading a dip in any situation, in front of anyone, with a quick back turn, or a "delay" when the family is loading into the car, etc.

You know what really got to me recently? My 4-year-old son started saying "I'm rinsing my mouth like Daddy" after he brushed his teeth by sticking his head in the sink and rinsing his mouth out straight from the fixture. Wow, it finally got through to my sorry ass head that it was time to make a change. What a freaking white-trash, redneck punk I've been for 21 years.

No more. Fuck tobacco.

Rinsing your mouth straight from the tap. Sounds familar. 'bang head'

[rgross298]

The more I read on KTC the more ridicoulos I feel. All the trials, tribulations and games we go through just to be able to dip. As I was driving home today I thought of a couple that make me shake my head in disgust.

Apparently my mouth shape or teeth aren't even. If I put a dip into my right side it is basically invisable. In my left side it leaves a noticable bump and if I open my mouth too much when talking you can actually see the dip. So the easy answer is always put the dip on the right side. We all know we can't do that because we have to share the load. All the abuse can't go to the same side everytime. so the answer ? In public, when I might have to talk, dip goes to the right. By myself, dip on the left. With all the problems we deal with on a day to day basis, how pathetic is it to waste one second trying to solve this " problem"

Taking stock of all of the fucking nuances I did to court tobacco in recent years was/is one of the biggest motivating factors for me to quit. I was a ninja dipper extraordinaire, to the point that it was a seamless part of my life. In the last few years, I'd mastered covertly loading a dip in any situation, in front of anyone, with a quick back turn, or a "delay" when the family is loading into the car, etc.

You know what really got to me recently? My 4-year-old son started saying "I'm rinsing my mouth like Daddy" after he brushed his teeth by sticking his head in the sink and rinsing his mouth out straight from the fixture. Wow, it finally got through to my sorry ass head that it was time to make a change. What a freaking white-trash, redneck punk I've been for 21 years.

No more. Fuck tobacco.

[Tsmith17]

The more I read on KTC the more ridicoulos I feel. All the trials, tribulations and games we go through just to be able to dip. As I was driving home today I thought of a couple that make me shake my head in disgust.

Apparently my mouth shape or teeth aren't even. If I put a dip into my right side it is basically invisable. In my left side it leaves a noticable bump and if I open my mouth too much when talking you can actually see the dip. So the easy answer is always put the dip on the right side. We all know we can't do that because we have to share the load. All the abuse can't go to the same side everytime. so the answer ? In public, when I might have to talk, dip goes to the right. By myself, dip on the left. With all the problems we deal with on a day to day basis, how pathetic is it to waste one second trying to solve this " problem"

What fools we once were. Stay quit brother. I am proud to be quit with you today.

[carumba10]

The more I read on KTC the more ridicoulos I feel. All the trials, tribulations and games we go through just to be able to dip. As I was driving home today I thought of a couple that make me shake my head in disgust.

Apparently my mouth shape or teeth aren't even. If I put a dip into my right side it is basically invisable. In my left side it leaves a noticable bump and if I open my mouth too much when talking you can actually see the dip. So the easy answer is always put the dip on the right side. We all know we can't do that because we have to share the load. All the abuse can't go to the same side everytime. so the answer ? In public, when I might have to talk, dip goes to the right. By myself, dip on the left. With all the problems we deal with on a day to day basis, how pathetic is it to waste one second trying to solve this " problem"

[carumba10]

Day 11 and so far so good. I don't really have any cravings. The habit part is still a big factor. Wake up = reach for a dip. Eat = reach for a dip. Go online= reach for a dip etc etc. Those types of things happen multiple times a day but then I remember I quit and forget about it.

Doing a lot of reading and it looks like late teens earlt 20's can be a problem ? A little worried about that.