I wanted to bump up your question tho Jake in your thread and answer it for you
(Quote by M-Menace)
Jake,
I am new here on the KTC, posted day 21 today so I don't know your history all that much except what I gleaned from reading this intro thread. I read these disheartening threads in an attempt to learn and identify what happened to someone that can reach the HOF and then fail. It scares me to be honest, because I have quit previously for 3-4 months, I can't remember as it didn't seem important at the time. I fear the failure even after being quit for a long time. I have been dipping for like 20+ years now and approach my 41st Birthday the end of this month. God willing I want to be around for at least another 30 to watch my kids grow up and have their own kids and do so in a healthy manner with some vitality and strength so I can really enjoy it. Anyway I think it helps when someone like you, who caves explains in an honest fashion as to how it happened. So people like me can learn how to guard against and prepare to stomp on that cave. I realize KTC gives us many tools but there is always room to learn from other peoples failures if they provide honest facts/circumstances of the incident, i.e.; they own up to what really happened without excuses. Sometimes we as humans like to sugar coat the truth! I guess you can take this or leave it but this is my advice to you. Not as a quitter who has any right to provide advice yet to anyone else quitting, but as a man with an addiction myself (actually as a man with an addictive personality in general). Swallow your pride man, it is one of the toughest things a man can do, yet it can lead to one of the greatest transformations in your life. We all struggle with our pride, justifying our behavior even when it is poor, thinking we are better or stronger then someone else, not asking for help when we should, trying to look better and more successful to friends and family then we really are. Pride is a human fault, given to us at birth but if we work on it, we can control or at least limit it's control of us, if we don't it will control us and wreak havoc in all facets of our life. (This is sometimes called the Victim mentality as well) I wish you nothing but success in your quit because I think everyone deserves to be freed from the slavery of Nicotine regardless of how many tries it might take but swallow the pride and eat a little humble pie with me because I too have to work on controlling my pride every day, pride is just about as sneaky at the Nic Bitch.....ODAAT
(Quote LionHeartedGirl)
M-M, I've never caved but I was a serial stopper before I quit. I'm a firm believer that you only quit once so even though I thought I had before and started again many, many times, I'm with AppleJack and can very honestly say this is the ONLY time I have quit and I won't ever cave. And that's the crux I think of our frustration... It's NOT okay to "try, try again". Once I figured out I'm an addict and understood that ONE is too much, then it takes the option off the table. I do it one day at a time by posting roll here. And most days, I don't "need" to make that promise. Most days it's so easy that I can kinda understand why people walk away from this site. Most days I know I won't face any temptation and my quit feels rock solid.
But I still post roll on those days because life has a sneaky way of turning on a dime. Truthfully, I didn't post roll this morning because I'm fighting temptation. I posted roll because 2 months from now I might. Or two years from now. And when that day hits (and it will), it will be easy to make a different choice than Jake made because I will have taken nicotine use off the table.
You do not need to he afraid M-M. There is nothing to fear because today you posted roll and made a promise. And tomorrow you will do the same. And I would recommend, that you don't think in terms of making it 100 days or 4 months or a year. You think about today. Stick around. Keep reading. Keep learning. On another group I post in we celebrated 1500 days for a guy... These celebrations happen all the time around here. They happen one day at a time though.
You're right. Jake should do a better job at explaining to himself and his group what happened but don't worry about that happening to you. He decided after HOF that he had it beat. He was clear. I don't believe Jake ever really understood his addiction. I don't think he does today. If he did, he wouldn't have turned his back on his quit.
I've said this before and I'll say it again... KTC doesn't keep your mind on nicotine...it keeps your mind in your QUIT. And that should not stop after 100 days.
