I have only been apart of this site for 2 weeks now. I don't like what i see when someone has the balls to admit they caved. When they come on here and admit they caved a bunch of people kick them in the nuts when they are down. They know they fucked up. Yes they feel bad. You kicking sand in their face doesn't help. We need to be supportive when someone caves. Why? Because you/I could be next. I had an uncle cave after 21 fucking years last week. It can happen to anyone at anytime. We are all brothers sisters in the same fight. A fight against that dirty slut named nic. And if by chance you happen to fall off the horse......get back on and ride like a mofo. I am no longer counting the days of my quit. I know the day i quit. I am treating everyday like day 1. Nothing more, nothing less. Stay strong everyone. We are all in this.......TOGETHER!!!!!
You say it as if it's not a choice. We could be next? Like trip and fall and a dip or a cig fell in my mouth? It's a definite choice, always has been, always will be. I choose to quit like fuck today. But not because every day is Day 1. Today is Today.
We act that way towards cavers because they forgot, never learned or ignored the methods of quitting success practiced and preached on KTC every single day. The cavers need a refresher course in accountability and the newbs need to see accountability in action. Some call it a mob mentality, others call it internet bullying. Names such as keyboard cowboy, e-bully and dick blind are thrown around here by people that disagree with the KTC tactics. We should be supportive you say? I say we are 100% supportive, but our support is conditional. Only after the caver answers the questions, runs the gauntlet, and re-establishes his / her self as a daily roll poster does said caver receive support. That's not too much to ask and we shouldn't be given a fucking attitude in the process. What possible good does unconditional support provide when dealing with a nicotine addiction? Plus it's an established process that has been repeated time and time again. All you have to do is spend a few hours on KTC these days and you'll see how cavers get treated. Everyone knows the drill, it's never a surprise to the caver. What's wrong with a little added incentive not to fucking cave?
If you are 100% supportive, how can it be conditional? Conditions bring that percentage down a bit, don't you think?
I was a part of this site for a day... yeah, a day. And you know why? Because when I first got here, I just wanted to use your chat- nowhere else had a chat with people getting over nicotine. But after a few hours I got heavily persuaded to sign up on the main site and to post roll... I had NO IDEA what roll call was "all about" as I found out the next day. Apparently it is a permission slip for everyone to yell at you if you relapse at all.
You say it's a proven and established system, but you aren't a formal scientist. You aren't taking into consideration all of the people you have scared away in your so-called "proven" system. You are merely making claims you cannot honestly support just to justify putting others down so that you can feel like you are strong enough to continue quitting.
Now, I get it. It does feel all great to put someone else down because they failed; it's like yelling at that weak part of yourself that wants to do the same thing. But it's not healthy. It's not good for them, and it's even worse for YOU. Because all this yelling and craziness makes you a prisoner to the effects of nicotine. You are so scared to relapse you can't allow yourself to feel it and let it go. You will be doing this crap for the REST OF YOUR LIFE if you don't stop to consider empathy and compassion. Accountability and bullying are two different things.
TY never said anything about it being against your will. The thing is, it was all our will to start up this terrible habit, wasn't it? That means we could end up choosing it again. Even after we have decided to quit. That was the point he was going for. And yet you all seem to be too afraid to admit it was your choice that got you here to begin with. It's sad, really.
I truly hope that this TY hasn't been scared off from the idea of freeing himself from this habitual choice just because you lot can't find it in your hearts to empathize.
And you say it's NEVER a surprise to the caver? It was a surprise to me, no one had told me a thing about what would happen. It's those cavers that need this help the most, and you turn them back to the drug by stressing them further. You really think the cave had no effect on them BEFORE you all started your cajoling? I know first hand it feels like hell just admitting it at all. However, getting flak about it makes it feel like the pain of disappointing yourself is preferable to the pain of being roasted by a mob online.
So I'd like to know how many people have signed up on this site since its inception? And how many of them are STILL HERE? How many have quit? Stayed quit? How many relapsed? How does that compare to other methods? Until you can get these figures, continuing to spout that this is a "proven system" is a false claim that is not supported by actual data. And that means your justification for bullying people in need of honest support is also false. Tough love is not the way for addiction. Research any report by a true professional on rehabilitation and addictions and you would know the best method is forgiveness, patience, understanding and consistency. The only thing you guys have is consistency... for being cruel to those that truly need help.
